Chapter Sixteen #2
Josie hugged her knees to her chest, bringing the quilt up to her chin.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She needed to tell Travis everything.
However, the reason why she couldn’t go home would have to stay buried.
He was better off knowing one secret, not the darkest one that would destroy everything they could build.
She would shame Travis more than she already had, and being a murderess was beyond having a secret child.
Josie wrapped her shawl tightly around her cotton nightdress before stepping outside for fresh air.
After hours of being cooped up in bed, she had indeed grown tired of being alone in that room.
When she stepped out onto the porch, she jumped.
There Travis was, sitting in his rocking chair, the moonlight reflecting on his stubbly face.
She was tempted to bolt back inside, but as his eyes met hers, she knew she couldn’t leave him without the truth.
She needed to face him before their distance became as wide as the ocean.
Josie swallowed, trying to moisten her dry mouth. Dear God, please help me.
His gaze shifted to her midsection and locked back on her eyes with an intensity that made her heart race. “You seem to be in better health.”
Josie nodded while clinging hard to her shawl’s loose tassels. “I am.”
Travis looked down at his lap. His hands rested on the arms of the rocking chair, fingers gripping tightly as he rocked back and forth.
The creaking of the wood seemed to echo in Josie’s ears, each sound quickening her pulse.
Her legs wobbled beneath her, and she feared she’d collapse at any moment.
But if she did, would Travis be there, ready to pick her up off the ground?
To hold her close again like before, showing genuine tenderness and care?
“When were you planning to tell me about the baby?” His voice held no bitterness or anger; it was flat and almost mechanical, making it hard for Josie to decipher the emotions beneath.
She looked at her feet. “I don’t know.” She clutched her shawl tighter around her midsection. “But it’s right for me to explain now.”
She stepped closer to him, slow and careful.
When she made it to the second rocker, she settled in, drawing in a deep breath.
The words faltered in her throat. She couldn’t say anything to justify herself, but she owed him the truth.
At least, the pieces that were worth saying—the pieces that would protect her child.
“My husband wasn’t a good man. He hurt and .
. . humiliated me . . . more times than I could count.
” She swallowed a burn at the back of her throat, fighting back her tears.
“Before I went to live with my aunt, he passed away.” The half-truth nearly caused her to vomit.
But she managed to continue her story. “This baby . . . was who I was thinking about during my actions, but I would never use my child to excuse my deceptive behavior. It is innocent in all of this.”
Josie looked up at Travis, who rubbed his forehead in silence.
She didn’t know what else to say. What could redeem her in such a situation?
She deserved to be cast aside, destitute in the dangerous world.
The thought of being turned over to the authorities sent icy tingles skittering up her spine and across her skin.
If Travis found out somehow, would he turn her in? Could she trust her own husband?
“I . . . I understand if you want me to go. I won’t insist on staying,” Josie croaked.
At that moment, Travis’s tender eyes met hers. Neither anger nor disappointment lingered in them as she imagined. “There will be no need for that.”
Travis rocked in his chair in a strict medium tempo while gazing ahead again.
His fingers intertwined like a prayer position on his lap.
“You are my wife, Josie, and knowing the truth now, I don’t blame you.
I am still disappointed you hid this from me, but I understand.
My mother was a widow, as well as Aunt Polly.
” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.
“I know they’d do the same if they had no other choice. ”
Josie closed her eyes. Did she have another choice? She could have lived in Aunt Tia’s attic, alone, waiting for her aunt to pass and have someone else take control of the place. And running away? It was a miracle she wasn’t recognized on the train.
“It’s difficult raising a child alone, but I do wish you could have been honest,” Travis said softly.
Josie wiped a solo tear, streaming down her cheek. “I . . . I wanted to . . . believe me. I am beyond ashamed for my actions—”
“I understand, Josie,” Travis interrupted, leaning forward. His once-roving gaze rested on her. “And that is why I am going to take full responsibility for you and your child.”
“But . . . I-I can’t have you do that,” Josie said quickly.
Her mind flooded with thoughts of the three older ladies who surrounded them the day after they married.
They were already shocked that Travis married in secret, never mentioning a courtship beforehand.
She couldn’t imagine the shame that would come once the baby came early.
“The baby will come too soon. The timing will be off . . . I can’t bring shame upon your family with this.” Josie placed her hand on her abdomen. “I’m already showing.”
“I’m prepared for that,” Travis reassured. “I’ve thought this through. You might not have been honest with me and my family, but that baby is innocent. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father, and I can’t let another child go through with that if I can prevent it.”
“The town will think less of you. They’ll think we . . .” She could hardly stomach the rest of her words.
“I don’t care.” Travis placed his hand on his chest. “Let them think less of me. That child deserves a life with a family that will love him or her no matter what.”
“You don’t have to take responsibility for a child that’s not yours.”
“Josie,” Travis breathed, extending a hand to her. He placed it on Josie’s armrest, inches from her fingers. “You are my wife. Let me love your child like you love mine.”
Josie placed her other hand on her stomach.
She didn’t deserve Travis, but her child did.
She’d spend the rest of her days making it up to him and wouldn’t let dishonesty cloud their future again.
However, in the shadows of her mind lurked another skeleton—one she had buried deep, hoping it would fade away.
She was better off forgetting it, nothing more than a bad dream.
But this life she was living now wasn’t a dream.
It was real.