Chapter Twenty-Two
Josie could hardly catch her breath in the claustrophobic cabin as the church ladies surrounded her, watching her every move.
The hair on her neck stood as Caroline brought another handmade gift from their quilting circle, smiling down on her.
When Josie was told this would be a quilting bee, she expected the day to be about sewing, not gifting.
Caroline’s presence gave Josie a little ease, but as she looked out, the curious eyes caused her heart to race.
“That’s from me,” Mrs. Lynde, the shopkeeper’s wife, said, seated next to her daughter who seemed to not be much older than Ivy. Josie smiled, trying to show her gratitude.
As she looked down, ready to open the gift, the ladies put down their needles, their eyes never leaving her.
Josie covered her bump with the present, trying to avoid prying eyes, but she could only hide so much.
Sitting while wearing a dress that was definitely too tight wasn’t helping any.
Thank goodness for Caroline’s extra clothes, but the woman must had been half her size during those pregnancy days.
Josie removed the brown paper and string, revealing a red and green quilt. The ladies oohed and aahed at the sweet gift that would wrap around a sweet little babe.
“That is gorgeous, Mrs. Lynde,” Mrs. Scott said, pulling a thread through her side of the yellow and white quilt. “Did you make that by hand?”
Mrs. Lynde smiled, patting her daughter’s leg. “With a little help from my Dolly Anne.”
“It’s beautiful,” Josie said with appreciation. “This will go to great use.”
“I made it from a couple of Dolly Anne’s old clothes and a few other items. I hope you don’t mind the mis-match.”
“I don’t mind it at all.”
Josie noticed a slight Southern accent in Mrs. Lynde’s voice.
Since it was never brought up in conversation, she wouldn’t ask.
But the thought of her having a Southern ally nearby made her feel more confident she would be just as welcomed, even though she hadn’t had any issues regarding her heritage.
The frontier was a blend of many different sides of the war—North and South, giving her hope that one day the prejudice would pass.
“Here’s the next one,” Caroline said.
Josie took the package with a smile and looked out towards the ladies. A woman with dark hair and a blue cotton dress raised her hand. “It’s from our family.”
With her normal look of gratitude, Josie opened the package, and to her surprise, there were knitted pieces of booties, hats, blankets, and gloves.
She gasped and covered her mouth, trying not to cry.
This gift was so precious, a handcrafted item she did not deserve.
Rose was right about hosting a quilting bee.
Just seeing how much people cared warmed her with delight, distracting her from every fear she had.
For a little while, she could push her past behind her and focus on the tiny face that would show in three months.
“Oh, how lovely!” Mrs. Lynde said, her lips parted into a grin.
Rose stepped closer from her area in the corner and picked up one of the hats. Her lips curved into a smile as she held it against her chest. “So precious.”
“Maybe it will be cool enough in the spring for the baby to wear it,” Mrs. Kent said in the chair next to Josie.
Josie’s heart stopped beating for a moment, and her cheeks flushed. She looked up at Rose, whose face had turned white. Now Josie was back to where she didn’t want to be—a web of lies.
She couldn’t bear to speak falsehoods to these ladies who spent their time sewing and knitting to give the baby the necessities it needed.
So, Josie faked a smile and nodded, limiting herself to a silent nod.
However, the moment was cut short as Caroline gave her another gift to open.
She looked down at Josie and laid her hand on Josie’s shoulder, offering a friendly comfort Josie needed to get through the uncomfortable scene.
Travis stayed at Ronan's place until after dark, putting up some new fence posts around the back of their barn since they were wanting to invest in more livestock.
The air had grown chilly, but as they continued to work and visit, the cold was the least on their minds.
However, coming home was another story. The orange light glowing through the window and the smoke blowing out the chimney invited him in.
He had only himself to blame for staying in the barn loft on cold nights, but perhaps he could set a spot by the fire and leave early before Josie woke.
That way, they wouldn’t have to bump into each other.
Before he set his gloved hand on the door latch, he overheard soft sniffling.
Travis peeked through the window, catching a glimpse of Josie, her face buried in her hands.
His heart sank. He knew he should walk away, but seeing Josie in such distress, he couldn’t bear to leave her be.
Travis opened the cabin door and removed his clothing layers, starting with his buffalo-fur coat.
“Travis?” Josie sniffed. “Is that you?”
Her reddened eyes locked with his. A lump formed in Travis’s throat. Never had he seen Josie this upset. She looked down swiftly, holding a knitted baby hat.
“Are you all right?” Travis asked, taking slow steps forward.
Josie gave a faint shrug.
He observed the room, noticing the baskets of yarn and yellow scraps on the dining table. “Was the quilting bee to your liking?”
Josie nodded, wiping her eyes with her fingertips. “Yes, it was.”
Travis settled in a rocking chair next to Josie, his knees facing her. “Then what is it? You’re upset.”
Josie folded her hands in her lap and closed her eyes, taking steady, calming breaths. “I’m going to be a terrible mother.”
Travis frowned. He scooted his chair closer. “Why do you think that?”
Had someone said anything to her? If they did, he’d give them a piece of his mind. Josie had seemed nervous hours before the event, but he believed that to be because she wasn’t used to the town’s company. First impressions were everything, especially in an intimate setting.
Josie met his gaze. “I’m a liar. What positive example can I set?”
Travis’s chest tightened, guilt rising in his chest. Josie had lied to him once, and he had yet to forgive her. He tried his best to be supportive, but when he thought about his fears, he couldn’t help but blame himself for marrying a stranger. He didn’t bother to take time to get to know her.
“You were scared. I understand why you kept the baby a secret.”
Josie shook her head, pushing her loose hair behind her ears. “It’s no excuse. Those ladies believe I’ll give birth in the spring because of . . . our timeline. When winter comes—”
“Josie,” Travis said gently. “Stop worrying.”
Josie buried her face in her hands. “I’m tired, Travis. I’m tired of lying.”
She continued to cry, and Travis could no longer bear those sobs—painful sobs he couldn’t help but feel responsible for. He treated her poorly all these months, not bothering to comfort her while she suffered in silence.
Travis placed his hand on her back, rubbing in soft circles.
He hadn’t wanted to touch her when they first married, and dancing with her had been an act of gentlemanly courtesy, but now, Josie deserved to be shown tenderness and care.
Just enough that she could know he was there for her.
Travis wanted to start over, to trust his wife again.
“You’re going to be a great mother. You want to know why?”
Josie peeked up at him, tears streaming down her fair cheeks. “Why?”
Travis smiled, warmth swimming through his chest. “Because of the way you treat my children. I have no doubt that you’ll be wonderful.”
“But what about safety?” Josie squeaked. “I couldn’t save my mother and sister when they were sick. What if I can’t protect the children?”
“That’s what we have God for,” Travis reminded. “I know this isn’t what we both planned, but as the days pass, I can see what a beauty God has made in our lives. We’re one family, all of us. And now, it’s growing with our new child.”
Our. The thought made Travis’s heart swell.
Josie smiled, wiping her tears. “Ours?”
“Yes. Is that all right?”
“Perfect.”
Travis looked towards the fire, his now thawed legs desiring never to move. “Do you mind if I stay by the fire tonight?”
“Please stay,” Josie said swiftly. “You shouldn’t be in that loft now, anyway. You’ll catch a chill.”
Travis chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know how I survived the past few nights.”
“You’re stubborn, that’s why.”
Travis’s brows raised. “Stubborn? Says the woman who never rests, even when I beg her.”
Josie exhaled dramatically, shaking her head. “I’m a farmer’s wife now. I have a duty.”
“A duty to our child, too. Remember, it’s all right to take a little rest.”
Josie placed a hand over her stomach. “I’ll consider it.
” She rubbed her bump then shut her eyes.
Travis leaned back, closing his eyes and listening to the fire crackle.
He liked this, sitting in silence. He glanced over at Josie, a smile gracing her lips as she laid her head against the chair’s back.
She gasped, her eyes snapping open. She sat straighter, placing her free hand on her back.
A jolt of terror rumbled through Travis. “What’s wrong? Is the baby—”
“It kicked,” Josie explained quickly. She giggled softly, her grin widening. Travis couldn’t help but smile too. Never had he seen Josie behave like this—so happy.
She turned to him. “Would you like to feel?”
Travis’s eyes widened. He cleared his throat. “Really?”
“Yes.”
He reached out his hand, placing it on Josie’s belly. She stiffened for a moment, her hands resting on the chair, then, she placed a hand beside his. As a soft thump hit Travis’s palm, a chuckle bellowed out of him. “This is real.”
Josie fixed her gaze on him, her eyes meeting his. “Yes.”
“I remember these days with Sophie, before . . .” Travis could hardly stomach finishing his sentence. Just thinking back to her last pregnancy, watching Sophie lose her strength little by little flooded his mind.
“She loved you very much. I can see it all over you, in the children too.”
“I will always love her,” Travis said swiftly. He removed his hand and placed it on the arm of his chair. “That’s why it’s so hard for me to talk about her.”
Josie reached out a hand to him, the tips of her fingers barely touching his. “Whenever you are ready, I’m here. I don’t want you to bear this alone.”
Travis pressed his lips together as he nodded. “Thank you, Josie.”
Their gazes bounded, and Travis never wanted to waver or pull. His heart moved to his throat, thumping hard. Josie shriveled back from his gaze and rose to her feet. She placed her hand on her swollen belly.
“I think I’m going to take your advice and rest.”
Travis’s corners curved. “I’m glad to see you’re finally listening to me.”
Josie chuckled softly. “Goodnight, Travis.”
“Goodnight, Jo.”
Josie raised a brow. “Jo?”
Travis’s cheeks warmed. Had he said that out loud? “Ugh, is that all right? Since the children call you Josie, I just thought I’d call you something else. You know . . . to add some distinction.”
Josie hummed thoughtfully and rubbed her chin. “Jo.” She nodded. “I like it.”
As she stepped out the room, Travis took in a large gulp of air then exhaled, his hand behind his head. What just happened?