Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Briar
I t’s hard to feel like a badass when I had a nuclear meltdown last night. Calder is a hell of a cuddler, though. I would rate snuggling with him a ten-out-of-ten experience. He talked to me until I knocked out, and when I woke up from another nightmare that happened an hour after the first…
He purred me back to sleep.
An alpha purring for an omega is something I hadn’t experienced before coming here. Keir yesterday, then Calder last night…it’s like they want to woo my instincts into being compliant.
Based on his reaction at the table, I can believe Calder didn’t know about Easton’s plan with Steffanie. But Keir did.
And he didn’t warn me.
Honestly, I’m not sure I have the right to feel so betrayed.
Keir and Easton live together. They’ve been friends and colleagues longer than I’ve been in this state. It still sucks feeling like I’m the butt of some huge joke that everyone else knew about.
It takes everything in me to go downstairs with my head held high following my morning shower. I probably owe Calder an apology for sweating and crying all over him last night, but I escaped to the original room they gave me before he woke up.
On days we both work, he’s always already in the office by now. He likely overslept because I kept him up half the night with my nightmares.
Easton leans with his back against the kitchen island as I make my way into the room. He’s got his phone in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. His head tilts, and he shoves his phone into his back pocket.
“Good morning.” A lazy smile crosses his face. “I was wondering. Would you like to stick with Briar when Calder addresses your identity today? Or would you prefer to venture into something new? Once we remove your brother from the equation, I have no doubt you’ll be able to safely return to Bianca, if you choose.”
I’m a little impressed that he’s able to string together so many sentences this early in the morning, but that just goes to show how exhausted I am. Easton never says as many words to me as he has in the last few days.
I grunt, walking toward the coffee machine. The multitude of syrups and creamer bottles with pumps makes it look like we could be in a coffee shop. Collecting a cup, I get to work. “I like Briar. Bianca was a family name. It belonged to my grandmother on my father’s side long before I came into existence, but I have no attachment to it.”
Also, if he had any idea the number of times I heard my father sneer, Bianca, what the fuck have you done now? it wouldn’t be a question about if I want to go back to my old name.
Bianca died on my wedding day.
An event I got zero say in.
Briar is just close enough that it didn’t take long to adapt to. And I’m finally on the verge of becoming the woman I want to be. Okay, maybe that’s a work in progress, but last night, as I cried against Calder’s chest, I realized I’m tired of being the walked-all-over version of myself that I’ve always been.
Easton might be batshit crazy, but I’m no fool. I’ll ride this wave for as long as I can and pray I can get off safely if things go south. It’s not like I have much of a choice. He threatened to handcuff me to his bed, which shouldn’t have made my lady bits quiver, but here we are.
In the meantime, I need to win over Keir and Calder, so they’ll protect me from Easton if the time comes.
“Good to know,” Easton says as I turn around with my freshly prepared cup of coffee. “Calder and I will be heading into the office as soon as he makes it out of the shower. I looked through your bags last night. Either you left a significant amount of your belongings at Jameson’s penthouse, or you have almost nothing. Which is it?”
My eyes roll practically into the back of my head. “I left the FBI office with literally the clothes on my back.” I blow over my coffee and take a quick sip. “I’ve been slowly building up a wardrobe, but I don’t exactly make millions as your assistant.”
“You should make a little over five thousand dollars a month,” he says, frowning.
“Yeah, but I wanted to do my part. Half my checks went to Jameson.” I shrug. “It was basically the same amount I was paying to live in the one-bedroom apartment before I moved in with him.”
“Jameson pays no rent. That penthouse was a gift from his parents,” Easton grinds out. “It’s no matter. While Calder and I are at the office, Keir will take you shopping. It will give you the chance to spend some one-on-one time together.”
I’m just about to explain that I have no interest in blowing money for the hell of it when he reaches into the pocket of his coat, pulling out his wallet. He selects a card and places it on the counter, sliding it at me. It’s black metal and it scratches against the marble as it skids my way.
My gaze flies to his.
His lips tip up, and it almost seems like he’s waiting for something. “Would you like to say anything?”
I snort, snatch up the card with my free hand, and tuck it into my bra. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” His dark eyebrows draw together. “Are you going to acknowledge how generous I’m being by encouraging you to spend time with someone other than me?”
I smile.
I can’t help it.
He’s insanely hot all the time, but I love seeing him confused. I’m not sure he understands how human interactions are supposed to go, but even my least pleasant interactions with Easton are preferable to my most enjoyable interactions with the man I was supposed to marry.
“That is very thoughtful. Thank you.” I take another sip of my coffee, praying the caffeine kicks in swiftly.
“You shouldn’t encourage his bad behavior,” Keir says from behind me. I spin around, and he’s leaning against the wall just inside the kitchen. He’s in a black Shadow Security T-shirt. The tattoos that line his forearms and biceps bulge as he crosses his arms over his chest. There are even a few tats peeking out of the top of his shirt and sneaking up the sides of his neck.
Keir would have fit in fine among my father’s enforcers. His exterior screams he’s dangerous and that he could do some real damage if necessary, but his energy reminds me of a big, stoic teddy bear.
“Do I have a spending limit?” I turn back to Easton.
He chuckles. “It would take you several days of hard work and constant spending to even get close to the limit. Have fun.”
My lashes flutter.
That might be the sexiest thing a man has ever said to me.
My hands slide down my sides as I check myself out in the changing room mirror. This little boutique reminds me of the shops my mom used to take me to in Boston. My teeth dig into my lower lip as I breathe through the pain. The flashes of her skull exploding all over the wall at my wedding come next, and my eyes clench closed. She wasn’t a terrible mom, but she knew what she signed up for when she got involved with my father.
Unlike me, she wasn’t born into the lifestyle. She allowed herself to be courted by a dangerous man with few morals.
Look what it got her.
My head shakes, and I open my eyes to study the workout outfit I’m clad in. There’s a very specific purpose for this attire. After this whole shopping thing, I’m going to ask Keir to give me self-defense lessons.
The next time a man puts his hands on me in anger, I’m going to break his jaw and bust his balls. I’m tired of being the damsel in distress.
I want to be able to do some serious damage to anyone who means me harm. Okay, maybe that’s a bit unrealistic, but at the very least, I want to have a basic understanding of how to protect myself.
A light knocking sound fills the air, and I spin around.
“Are you doing okay in there?” Keir asks, keeping his tone at a respectful level, considering our location.
I tug the lock, pulling the door open. “Yeah, I’m almost done.”
I’m not sure why it takes me so long to realize it, but he’s not one of my father’s guards. They were required to keep eyes on me at all times, so if I was trying on multiple outfits, I often had to prove I was still in the changing room.
Keir’s eyes darken as he eyes me from head to my bare toes. It soothes some deep part of me to see the attraction written all over his face.
Omegas tend to be curvy with hourglass figures. The grandmother I’m named after loved to say that nature gave us child-bearing hips to pop out litters of little alpha and omega babies.
The point is, I’m not slender.
I’ve always been between a size ten—if I starved myself—and a fourteen—if I was eating how I preferred and not being forced to watch my weight. My father felt there was a fine line between being the ideal omega and too heavy for a man to want me.
I’m not sorry he’s dead.
Keir finally settles back on my face, clearing his throat. “That’s a nice outfit.”
“Thanks. I only have a few more to try on. Sorry it’s taking so long.”
He shrugs.
“I’m in no rush.” His tattooed hand stretches out, grabbing a dark wave and tucking it behind my ear. “I need you to know…” His gaze falls to the floor as his head shakes. “I’m sorry about the way things went down with Jameson. East lives in his own little world, and I don’t want to defend his actions, but I think he was trying to look out for you.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from lashing out and saying something ugly. I’ve always had trouble holding back when I want to speak my mind, but my father beat that habit out of me in my teenage years.
Well, mostly. Shit still slips out from time to time.
I don’t even think I’m angry at Easton.
I’m embarrassed.
I’m hurt they didn’t come to me directly, but I thought a lot about it last night. It was obvious something wasn’t right between me and Jameson. I just hadn’t had the chance to address it, because it would have upended my living situation. There’s also a big chance I swept a few questionable behaviors under the rug since I assumed everyone at Shadow Security would be on his side, and I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing my job on top of everything else.
Plastering a fake smile on my face, I shrug. “Apology accepted. Now, after this, I have one more place I’d like to visit if you’re open to it?”
He nods, running his thumb over my cheek. “I’m good to go wherever you need to go.”
My silly heart races.
It might be underhanded to use his guilt to get my way, but I’ve learned a lot over the course of my lifetime, and I know one thing—if I don’t look out for myself, no one else will.