Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Calder
T he emergency nest Keir and I bought was a good find. Briar hunkers down in it and doesn’t want to leave. She’s been running a pretty consistent 105 to 106 fever, and she’s so incoherent that she completely misses when the guy comes to fix the heat the next day.
By mid-afternoon Friday, we have to turn down the newly working heat and strip the bed to replace the sheets.
We’ll thank Keir for having the foresight to buy an extra set. I thought they wouldn’t be necessary, considering the waterproof bed pad.
After multiple trips to the store, we finally break down and buy fruit, chips, and stuff for sandwiches. I also grab a ton of snacks and soup that can be microwaved, but Briar barely eats. Even during the times when she’s clear enough to watch a movie downstairs, she won’t eat more than a few bites.
All the research I’ve done says that once the heat starts, she should be pretty incoherent the entire time, with only short bursts of lucidity. But Briar is coming off over four years of suppressant usage. It’s hard to believe her father forced her to take them for so long, especially considering most of the information I’ve read says that suppressants shouldn’t be used for longer than twenty-four months in a row. And there should be a break of at least twelve months or four heat cycles before they can be prescribed again.
Obviously, Briar’s father had his own reasons for not allowing her to have a heat, but it pisses me off when I think about it.
I once again check my fail-safes to make sure no one has poked into Briar’s new identity. I spent hours the other day crafting an entirely new persona for her and swapping her out in our employee system.
Once that was done, I started the pack commitment paperwork. Vermont doesn’t call for a mandatory meeting with a judge unless our case is flagged.
I’ll be relieved once we can check the contents of Chelsea’s package and get the hell back to Vermont. This place isn’t terrible, but I like order and routine. There’s also something about being at my desktop setup that helps me feel at ease. Plus, I’ve got a lot more protection built in on my office computers than I do on my laptop.
It’ll just be nice to get back to Easton’s house and settle in behind his security fence. His house also has a real nest.
I guess I should start thinking of it as our house. I’m a little sad that I’ll have to move out and leave my grandparents, but I’ve already started searching for caregivers who can stop in to help them remember to take their meds and even help with meals.
It’s also not like I’ll be far away or like I’ll never go visit.
My apartment is only ten minutes away from Easton’s house.
I haven’t told my grandparents that Briar and I bonded, but I know they’ll be happy for us. It just seems like something I should do in person, so I can introduce them.
I’ve kept a close eye out for any information that would indicate someone has noticed Jameson is missing. There hasn’t been a single thing, which is a good sign, but even then…
The cops are fond of having a body to prove murder. They’ll never find his, so they can investigate his disappearance all they’d like.
I’m thorough.
They won’t find anything to link Briar to Jameson electronically. Well, not outside of the texts, but I’ve already cut off her old number, and we ditched her phone on the way here. They can search for the mystery woman from his texts all they’d like. They’ll never connect the messages to Briar.
The longest and most arduous part of the process was scrubbing the security feeds at his apartment for the two months she lived with him. I end up accessing and looping the November and December feeds from two years ago. Otherwise, it would have taken weeks to digitally delete her coming and going twice a day, and we just don’t have that kind of time.
The biggest win we had came when I realized Jameson never said a word about Briar to his parents. They’re the one set of witnesses that I knew Easton wouldn’t be able to buy off.
Sighing, I shut down my laptop. There really isn’t anything I can do to rush the process. We’re stuck waiting on the mail service and that woman to have her baby.
We lose most of the afternoon snuggled in the nest, which spills into another intense wave of heat.
This is why doctors are supposed to be careful how and why they prescribe suppressants. Briar goes from fine to foggy and begging with almost no notice. If she wasn’t safe here with us, there’s no telling what could have happened to her.
Briar lies glued to my chest as she snores against my skin. My knot is locked inside her, but I’m simply enjoying the closeness and being able to study her without seeming creepy.
She wore the old man out. Keir sleeps on the other side of the bed with his arm thrown over his face.
Easton was with us, but he got a call five minutes ago and abandoned the makeshift nest.
It’s what woke me.
I’m kinda surprised my knot is still locked inside Briar, but as I watch her face, she grinds over me in her sleep. It’s precious. Her system knows what she needs, even if she’s not conscious enough to ask for it. Which, again, makes me obsess about how grateful I am that she’s in a safe place.
Easton unzips the nest tent and climbs back in. There’s just enough room for him on the edge.
“Everything okay?” I ask, keeping my voice low to avoid waking Briar and Keir.
“Yeah, Sky is staying with us. They headed to the hospital. It looks like Chelsea is in labor.” He shrugs and rolls over until he’s facing me and Briar. He runs his hand over the back of her head and snuggles closer. “The fence here won’t keep Sky in, so we’ll have to make a rotation for taking her out.”
I nod.
I’m an animal person. I’m totally down for walks and playing fetch.
On Monday, the package that we’ve been waiting for arrives. It’s a massive trunk packed in a shipping box, and I’m tasked with checking out its contents.
It feels highly invasive, and I hate every second of it. Finding the flash drives isn’t difficult, but there’s an encryption key somewhere. It could be coded into one of his handwritten letters, or it’s possible he didn’t include it all, because he wanted Chelsea to hand it off to the FBI. They would have had the same software that I do or a similar version.
My laptop communicates with my desktop computer back in Vermont. It gets to work on cracking the encryption the hard way as I stare at the letters.
I’m going to have to actually read them.
Easton will have my ass if I don’t and I miss something big because of it. I briefly scanned them for anything obvious, like letters, numbers, or symbols in a different size or underlined. Nothing caught my eye, but I steel my resolve to actually read them line by line.
Fuck.
Sometimes my job really sucks.
My glasses get all foggy and wet with tears, so I pull them off and rest them on the top of my head. Maybe I’m a softie, but fuck, that just ripped my heart out.
“Aww, are you okay?” Briar asks, climbing onto my lap. I camp out in the downstairs bedroom to work since we don’t use it for sleeping anymore.
“Was my sadness spilling into the bond?”
“It was, and that’s why I knew I needed to come check on you.” Her fingers dig into my jaw as she brushes her thumbs over my skin above where my beard ends. “Rough stuff?”
“It was fucking brutal,” I admit, wrapping my arms around her lower back. “One of those tragedies that will never make sense.” I sigh, squeezing my eyes shut.
Fat tears slip down my cheeks, and I almost wish I was as stoic and reserved as Keir or Easton.
Briar nuzzles her cheek to mine, and my nose twitches with her soothing pheromones. Omegas only release this particular type of pheromone when they’re trying to self-soothe, or they’re trying to soothe their chosen alphas. It’s a whole different level of comfort from what her honey and coconut scent always offers.
“Want to tell me about it? It might help if you don’t have all that stuck inside you. Or if you just want to cuddle, I can do that too,” she says, kissing my nose.
It’s such a sweet gesture. An intimacy that makes my system convinced I have to be open in return.
“I don’t want kids,” I blurt out, and my grip on her back tightens.
Well, fuck.
I guess I can just lay it all out there.
“My mom wasn’t expecting to die from a hemorrhage that happened fifteen minutes after I was born.” I try to explain where my head is at. My hand trembles as it slides up and down her back. This isn’t my favorite thing to talk about, but it’s not fair to keep it to myself either. “And I doubt I could be a calm partner if you were ever to get pregnant. I spent a lot of my childhood convinced I killed my mom, even though my grandparents went out of their way to assure me it wasn’t my fault. Then reading those letters…” A ragged sigh escapes my lips. “He wanted to be in his kid’s life, but he knew he was dying. Life is too fragile. I don’t think I can do it, and I’m sorry that I didn’t warn you before we bonded.”
“You’re preaching to the choir. I have no interest in having kids, and I know it’s something omegas are known for or whatever, but my childhood screwed me up too.” She buries her face in my throat. “All this proves is that we’re a solid match. If Avan hadn’t died, I would have been required to produce heirs to honor the marriage contract, and it scared the hell out of me. I’m more than happy to live out the rest of our days just enjoying one another’s company.”
Thank God.
Briar kisses my neck and snuggles closer, and it finally feels like I can breathe again. I understand things can happen at any time, but I feel a whole lot better knowing we won’t be dragging kids along for the ride.
Easton may be good at what he does, but the truth of the matter is, our jobs are dangerous. Protecting Briar will be more than enough for us to focus on.