Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
The interior of the Mustang Valley General Store was warm compared to the brisk air outside, but Cole shivered as cold sweat trickled down his back. He visualized a mountain meadow and superimposed it over the bustling scene. Christmas was on every aisle and endcap. The carols were nonstop.
He could do this. Had to do this. No way would he ever tell Mila his sob story or let her view him as damaged or abused. His future depended on healing this wound on his own.
“What do you think? Will these work?”
Abandoning his mountain meadow, he forced himself to look at the Santa hats Mila held up. “Sure. Great.”
“The felt ones are cheaper than the plush ones, but I don’t think they’ll look as good.”
“Don’t worry about the price. I’m buying.”
“I’m buying.” She smiled. “My idea.”
The last thing he needed was an argument. He managed what he hoped was a smile in return. “Then thank you.”
“But which do you like? Would the felt ones fit into your old-timey scenario better?”
He swallowed. What had she said? That the felt ones wouldn’t look as good as the plush? “Let’s go with the plush.”
“I think so, too.” She peered at him. “Are you okay? You look a little green around the gills.”
“Guess I’m hungrier than I thought.”
“Well, then, let’s get these and get out of here. I’m pretty hungry, myself.”
Naturally they had to wait in line. He returned to his mountain meadow visualization and took slow, steady breaths.
“I guess you get quiet when you’re hungry.”
“Guess so.”
“I’ll remember that.”
An eternity later they were back out on the sidewalk. It was still Christmas there, too, but fresh air helped. How would he do in the Raccoon during lunch? Good time to find out since he’d be there again in a few hours.
He took Mila’s hand, careful not to grab it like the lifeline it was. The store filled with everything Christmas — gifts, lights, wrapping paper, bags, bows, and the incessant music — had nearly done him in.
His mother would go shopping a few days before Christmas looking for sales. She’d threaten him and Jordie with no supper if they refused to go and help carry. If it turned out nothing was on sale, she’d stage a public rant in the middle of the store.
Once he’d tried to stop her and she’d backhanded him in front of people he knew. Never tried that again.
Had Mila just said something to him? He checked and she was looking at him, a question in her eyes. “Sorry. I got distracted. You’ll have to repeat that.”
“You must be really hungry.”
“Yeah, didn’t have much for breakfast. Did you ask me something?”
“Just what you planned to order.”
“I’m not sure. How about you?”
She grinned. “Toasted cheese and tomato soup.”
“Trying to erase the memory of last night’s dinner?”
“Just the opposite! After last night, it’s my favorite thing. I want to have it to remind me of how much fun we had.”
The knot in his stomach loosened. “But I burned the soup.”
“And I fixed it. I thought it tasted just fine. Different, but still tasty. C’mon, admit it.”
“I would gladly admit it, but I don’t remember what it tasted like. I was too busy watching you watch the Beaver Bunch.”
“To quote someone I know, them’s kissin’ words.”
“I know, and I take full responsibility if you can’t help yourself.”
“You’d let me kiss you right now?”
“Yes, ma’am. Just remember we have a history of things quickly getting out of control.”
She tugged on his hand. “Hold still a minute.”
“You’re gonna?”
“Yes.” Holding onto his shoulder, she rose up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. “There you go.”
Looking into her dark eyes, he savored the moist imprint of her lips. Made his skin tingle. He looked into her eyes and the last of his tension melted away. “Thank you. I needed that.”
“I had a feeling.”
“Did you now?”
“Christmas wasn’t very fun for you as a kid, was it?”
His breath caught. “No.”
“Luis said this is the first Christmas Jordan has celebrated in a long time.”
“Same here.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you.”
His throat tightened. “Thanks.” If only it could be that simple. If only having Mila and her loving family could miraculously slay his demons. But they had no idea what they were up against.
“Ready to tie on the feed bag?”
“So ready.” As they walked the rest of the way to the Raccoon, he waited for his tension to return. Considering that Clem had put Santa hats on his critters, he’d likely gone all in on the rest of the place.
Sure enough, there was a big ol’ silver and gold wreath on the front door. He opened it for Mila and followed her in. The noise level from the lunch crowd nearly drowned out the music from the sound system, soft guitar versions of old carols.
A huge Christmas tree trimmed in gold and silver ribbon with gold and silver-colored musical/themed ornaments stood on the bandstand. Maybe the unusual nature of it kept him from wincing. He’d never seen one dressed up like that.
Clem had continued the gold and silver color scheme throughout the dining area and the bar. Glittering gold and silver angels hung from the rafters and silver vases holding frosted sprigs of evergreen sat on each table.
The absence of traditional red and green soothed him in ways he couldn’t explain. He let out a sigh.
“I had the same reaction,” Mila said. “The only red in the whole place is those Santa hats on the raccoons. There’s something so peaceful about these decorations.”
“Maybe it’s the music.”
“I’m sure that’s part of it. That much will change tonight when the Rooty Toots get up there.” She turned toward the slim redhead coming toward them. “Hi, Julie. Congrats on becoming dining room manager.”
“Thanks! I’m happy about it.”
“Got a table for two?”
“Sure do. Hey, Cole, haven’t seen you in here in a while.”
Cole smiled at her, impressed that she remembered his name. “Keeping busy out at the ranch. Congrats on your promotion.”
“Thank you. You’re coming tonight, I hope, and bringing your fiddle.”
“I am.”
“Folks love hearing you play.”
“I’m glad. It’s fun for me, too.” Wow, here he was in the middle of a venue decorated for Christmas and having a normal, relaxed conversation. It gave him hope.
Once they were seated and had placed their order, Julie left. Mila leaned toward him, her dark eyes sparkling. “She asks me about you all the time. Definitely has a crush going on.”
“Then maybe you should give me another kiss on the cheek.”
“I would, but for sure I’d knock over this lovely centerpiece. I think if we spend our time gazing into each other’s eyes she’ll get the picture.”
“That’ll be easy. I just do that naturally.”
“You’re feeling better, aren’t you?”
“Better?”
“When we were in the store I thought you were going to throw up.”
He shoved down a wave of panic. “That’s what I get for eating a hard-boiled egg that’s been sitting there too long.” Another white lie.
“Seriously?”
“There might have been some mold on the bagel, too.”
“Cole! You’re not a human compost bin.”
“You’re the one who said food shouldn’t go to waste.” His conscience pricked him, but the truth would take them down a road he refused to travel.
“But you still shouldn’t eat it if it’s spoiled. FYI, my mom has a compost pile. Next time take that stuff to her. You might want to go through your fridge and weed out what’s gone bad.”
“You could come in with me when we get back and we could go through it together.”
Her gaze softened. “Wish I could. I promised Greta I’d do her hair and that’ll take a while. Just don’t snack on anything iffy. I’m planning for us to have a really good time tonight.”
“I’m planning for us to have a really good time the next morning. Early the next morning.” He was ready to ditch the subject of spoiled food.
She flushed. “Watch yourself. We’re still very much in the public eye.”
“Are we? I can’t see anybody but you.”
“You’re certainly good for my ego.”
This was more like it. “You’re good for every part of me, some more than others.”
Her flush deepened. “Honestly, I can’t take you anywhere.”
“Not without violating some public decency laws.” He paused, waiting for that to register. When her breath caught, he smiled. “But that still leaves us with a lot of possibilities.”
She rolled her eyes, but her pink cheeks and unsteady breath gave her away. “Clearly the effects of that rotten egg and moldy bagel have worn off and your mind has returned to its favorite topic.”
“Which is you.”
“Not just me. It’s me and a certain activity.”
“No, it’s just you.” He dropped the teasing. This was important. “I would be happy if all we did was sit and play checkers.”
“Fully clothed?”
“Fully clothed. Just being in the same space, breathing the same air.”
She regarded him steadily. “I think you mean that.”
“You have no idea how much I mean that.” Someday she would know. He just had to make it through Christmas without falling apart.