Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
A dam was losing the fight. He’d planned to show Tracy the second-floor children’s book section where kids would have their own space.
His great-grandma Lucy had put in an elevator when the stairs had become too much for her. It still worked perfectly and could handle a cartload of books or people who couldn’t manage stairs.
Tracy would love the concepts he and the crew had dreamed up for the second floor, but what she’d labeled their little whoopsie still taunted him. Eventually he’d be able to handle being alone with her, but tonight it was a struggle.
“We should probably get going.” He zipped his coat. “I don’t know about you, but I have an early morning appointment with a wheelbarrow and a stack of hay flakes.”
“Now that you’ve taken on the mayor gig, you could probably delegate barn chores.” She buttoned her coat, flipped up the hood and started toward the front door.
Relieved to be on the move, he followed her out of the room, turning off the lights as he passed the switch. “Rio’s already offered to do my share.” His youngest brother had a case of hero worship going on. “But I’m hanging onto that barn job. Horses steady me. Rio and Xavier have their hands full this time of year getting food and water to the wild horses.” Ushering her out of the house, he locked up.
“I loved the times your dad recruited some of us to help with that. I thought about it the last time I took Moonlight for a ride. Not much for horses to eat out there right now. It’s good to know Rio and Xavier are on it.”
“When did you take that ride?” He resisted the impulse to grab Tracy’s hand as she navigated down the icy steps.
“A couple weekends ago. It was cold, but I like to get out with her at least a few times during the winter.”
“You should bring her over sometime. I guarantee Banjo misses her.”
“And vice-versa.”
“It’s supposed to be relatively warm this weekend. How about Saturday?”
“Sounds like fun.” Her tone was cautious.
“Then we’ll do it. The middle of the day would be good.” His boots crunched on a layer of ice and old snow on the circular driveway. “I’ll let Banjo know when I feed him tomorrow.”
“I envy you those barn chores. They’ll probably go better than my meeting with Auntie Kat in the morning.”
“Let me guess. She wants to see the ruling on private clubs in black and white.” Out of habit he walked her to the passenger side.
“Bingo. I think she knows she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”
“But if she didn’t harass Eli every so often he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.” He opened her door. “They’re like a couple of five-year-olds.”
“Isn’t that the truth. He pulls on her braids and she swipes his lunchbox.”
“Exactly.“ He held out his hand.
She took it, just like old times. He drove a big truck and automatically helped women into it. Except it wasn’t like old times. Heat shot up his arm and rocketed through his body. His grip tightened of its own accord.
A soft hitch in her breath made him glance at her. Big mistake. Once his gaze collided with those deep blue eyes, he couldn’t look away.
He swallowed. “Trace… I?—”
“Yeah, me too.” The words trembled on her lips. Then her jaw firmed. “But we won’t. Just take me home.”
“Right.” His breath whooshed out. He managed to help her into the truck without hauling her into his arms. That was a miracle.
But he was still gulping for air and fighting for control when he swung into his seat and pulled the door closed. “This is nuts.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, damn it! My head knows it but my… well, never mind.” He faced forward. Looking at her always got him into trouble.
“Cut yourself some slack.” Her voice was soft.
“No can do.” Jabbing the key in the ignition took several tries. Eventually he started the engine.
“Face it. I have a hot body.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
“We’ve established you like hot bodies. What you’re feeling is perfectly natural.”
He choked out a laugh. “I believe that’s my line.” Shifting into drive, he pulled onto the main road.
“You’re convinced I’m on the rebound and it’s obvious you’re having trouble forgetting New Year’s Eve. Let’s admit that we’re fallible but we’re also not gonna let this get the better of us. We’ll deal with it like sensible adults.”
“Yes, we will.”
“By the way, what makes you such an expert on rebound relationships?”
“I’ve been dumped twice and both times I jumped right back into a relationship that burned out in a matter of weeks, adding extra pain for all concerned.”
“Someone else dumped you?”
“Evie, senior year at MU. I proposed. She said no. She didn’t love me enough to bury herself in a small town.”
“That’s how she put it?”
“That’s exactly how she put it.”
“I knew I didn’t like her.”
“I’m glad she was honest. We would have been miserable together.”
“I’m sorry. You never told me you proposed to her.”
“Not something you broadcast. But enough about me. Remember what happened after that jerk dumped Mila last year?”
“Now that you mention it, I do. Not pretty.”
“You don’t want to do that to yourself, Trace. Or to us.” He pulled up to the curb in front of her office and turned off the motor. She’d left a light on upstairs, just like she had on New Year’s Eve.
“Adam Bridger, the voice of reason.” She gave him a smile to show she was teasing.
“Sometimes. Other times I’m a complete dumbass.”
“Or you could be reasonable and a dumbass.”
“True.”
“Since Mila hasn’t said anything I assume you haven’t told her about New Year’s Eve.”
“God, no. Why would I?” He glanced at her, just a quick look. No more lingering eye contact if he knew what was good for him.
“I didn’t think you would tell her, but it’s not like I made you sign an NDA. And now you might tell her in hopes she’d back you up on the rebound thing.
“I hadn’t thought of it, but?—”
“Don’t you dare.”
“Trace, I?—”
“I mean it. If you tell her I’ll squeal about that time you drank till you?—”
“Calm down, okay? I would never tell her about New Year’s Eve. If you want to, that’s up to you, but my lips are sealed.” He turned to face her long enough to make sure she knew he was serious. Then he gazed out through the windshield at the sleepy town, shut down for the night. “Besides, I already told her about the time I drank till I puked. It’s old news.”
“Damn. I’ve been saving that blackmail for years. Now I’ll have to dig up some other thing I can hold over you.”
“There’s New Year’s Eve.”
“No, there isn’t. We’d both come off as idiots.”
“I suppose. Now that I think about it, I’m glad you picked me to be your rebound guy. Anybody else would have been happy to go along with the program.”
“I just figured out why we can’t have sex.”
That brought his head around. Couldn’t help it. “Why?”
“If we broke up, and you seem positive we would, one of us would be the dumpee. I don’t want it to be me, but even more, I can’t let it be you.”
“Why not?”
“That would make you a three-time loser. I’d never forgive myself.” She unsnapped her seatbelt, picked up her briefcase and opened her door. “Thanks for the tour.”
“Hang on.” He flipped open his seatbelt buckle and reached for the door handle. “I’ll walk you to the?—”
“No, don’t.” She climbed down and flashed him another smile. “Let’s not take any chances.”
“Are we still on for meeting at the bookstore and heading to lunch afterward?” That plan suddenly became more important than it should.
“Wouldn’t miss it. Sleep tight.” She closed the door, crossed the sidewalk to her office and reached in her briefcase for her keys.
He told himself that sitting there until she made it inside was the gentlemanly thing to do. True enough, but he wasn’t feeling much like a gentleman.
Instead he fought a powerful urge to follow her inside and…. Yeah. Her logical decision to forgo sex because he might get hurt had lit a fire and he wanted her more than ever.
Made no sense. Or maybe it did. Her statement only proved who she was at her core, a loyal friend who had his back, always had.
Over the years she’d been steadfast in her support and concern for his welfare. She was an amazing woman, and he’d managed to convince her they shouldn’t ever make love.
Because they shouldn’t. It was the wrong move for many reasons, but damn, he still longed to make it.