Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
A dam gave Tracy another soft kiss and left the bed to take care of business. And gather his thoughts.
He talked a good game, but after making love to her a second time, he was having serious doubts about this program. He’d never had sex like this.
It wasn’t just that the climaxes had blown him away, which they had, but his emotional investment was double, maybe triple, what he’d ever experienced.
Of course it was. He’d never known a girlfriend as well as he knew Tracy. The first go-round he’d been hell bent for leather because he’d bottled up all that lust for six weeks. This time he’d pulled his head out of his ass and realized she deserved better.
And wouldn’t you know, she’d reacted with happy tears, which nearly had him weepy-eyed, too. He’d imagined they could have some good old-fashioned romps for five days and wear each other out. That might work with someone else, but with Tracy, the woman who knew him as well as he knew her? He had big doubts.
But what alternative did he have? The plan had made sense to him yesterday and then Claudette had come up with it on her own. Even conservative Mila thought it might work.
But had any of them considered that sex between two long-time friends would be different in ways impossible to predict? He hadn’t, that’s for sure.
What if Tracy had the right idea, after all? One night to satisfy their curiosity was sounding… if not great, at least safer. Less chance of heading into a swamp of emotional involvement that would make them both miserable.
Okay, he’d tell her that after thinking it over, he agreed with her one-night plan, after all. When he left the bathroom, the crackle of a fire meant he’d been in there long enough for her to build it up again.
Walking in to find her lounging against the pillows and watching the fire almost made him change his mind. What guy would voluntarily give up sexy times with that gorgeous woman?
Well, he would if he used his head and his heart instead of taking orders from his cock. “Can I get you anything? A glass of water?”
She smiled. “Water sounds good. Thanks.”
“Be right back.” Damn. One smile, and he was questioning his recent decision. Cutting things off in the morning would be abrupt. If they had five more days, they could gradually get used to the idea they’d never have sex again.
Yeah, tell yourself that. You just can’t bear to let a good thing go.
So true. Flipping on the kitchen light, he ignored the dishes they’d left on the table and filled two glasses with water from the faucet. He might as well face it. He craved her more than he’d ever craved another woman.
He couldn’t imagine that changing any time soon. But that was just him. Logically her motivation for kissing him had been the breakup with Sean. Tonight she’d discovered that mutual chemistry made for great sex.
She could still be on the rebound, unfamiliar territory for her. That made her behavior hard to predict. She could turn on a dime.
“Did you have to go scoop the water out of Laughing Creek?” She appeared in the kitchen doorway wrapped in the comforter.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“I know. I could hear you from the living room. You’re worried that in five days we’ll become tangled up in each other, but you hate to stick with the one-night contract because the sex is so good.”
He stared at her. “How do you do that?”
“What?”
“Read my mind.”
“Number one, I’m a lawyer and reading minds is a learned skill. Number two, I know you pretty damn well. Besides, I’ve been thinking the same thoughts and I have a solution.”
“Oh, do you, now?”
“An escape clause.”
He walked over and handed her one of the glasses. “Go on.”
“We change the contract to include the five days, but we add an escape clause. If either of us decides we’re too emotionally involved, we can activate it and the contract becomes null and void.” She took a drink of water.
“Doesn’t that make the other person the dumpee?”
“Kind of, but since we’re both worried about the same thing, I figure we’ll keep checking in with each other and will probably see disaster coming. Then we can mutually activate the escape clause.”
“Or we can go with the contract we have and avoid all that.”
“Do you want that?”
“No, but one night was your original plan, and?—”
“That was before we’d made love. I honestly had no idea it would be….” She waved a hand in the air. “I can’t come up with a word for what it is. Nothing seems adequate.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Maybe I’m rationalizing, but I thought about what you said, that everyone expects us to be consulting with each other during the week. We just had a council meeting, which makes it even more likely.”
“I’m sure we can pull it off. That’s not my concern.”
She met his gaze. “I understand your concern. Mine might even be bigger than yours. I can’t afford to lose the good will of your family.”
“Financially?”
“Hell, no. I appreciate the business your family gives me, but the emotional connection is way more important. Thanks to the Bridger Bunch, I don’t feel like an only child. I can’t lose that.”
“You won’t, no matter what?—”
“You can’t guarantee I won’t. If we make a mess of things, or worse yet, I’m the one who makes the mess, it will change things.”
“We won’t let that happen.”
“That’s why we need an escape clause.” She chugged the rest of her water. “You might want to drink yours, too. We don’t want to take a chance of accidentally dumping water on your laptop.”
“You want to work on the contract now?”
“I do. I’ll return the comforter to the bed while you fetch your laptop. We might as well enjoy the fire since I got it going again.” She headed out of the kitchen, hoisting the comforter up so it didn’t drag on the floor.
He drained his glass and went to do her bidding. Maybe this was the way to go. He wasn’t sure anymore. Standing next to her knowing the comforter was the only thing between him and her responsive body had hijacked his brain.
What if he cooked up a business trip that required him to take her along for her legal advice? That would never fly, but the concept of running away to a place where they could do whatever they wanted was vastly appealing. No wonder couples took honeymoons. He?—
“Make sure your Wi-Fi’s on! We might need to look up some wording.”
“Got it!” He hadn’t moved except to set his glass on the counter.
“Stop thinking, cowboy. This is gonna bring us both peace of mind.”
“If you say so.” He walked over to his desk and glanced through the window that looked out on the porch. From here he could see Mila’s house. No light in any of the windows. They’d have questions tomorrow. And he’d be a sitting duck since he had barn duty.
“Providing peace of mind is what I do.”
“Is that so?” He opened the laptop. Yep, Wi-Fi was still on. “Could’ve fooled me the past six weeks.” Closing it, he carried it over to their temporary bed, where she sat with her back against the sofa and the comforter pulled up to her waist.
“Yeah, I know.” She made a face. “We wouldn’t be fooling with any of this if I hadn’t?—”
“Stop right there.” He set the laptop on the easy chair to his left and slid under the covers next to her. “Considering what’s happened here tonight, I’m glad you kissed me on New Year’s Eve. How about you?”
She held his gaze. “I’m glad, too.”
“No more apologizing?”
“No more apologizing if we work this out, but if we don’t….”
“I’ll be glad even if we don’t work it out.”
“How can you say that?”
“Easy. If you hadn’t kissed me, chances are good we never would have made love. We would have missed out on an amazing experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“Not even peace of mind?”
“Definitely not. I’d go through it all again if I knew this was waiting for me at the end.”
“Making love with you has been special to me, too, but if things go sideways, you stand to lose me as a friend. But I stand to lose you… and your entire family.”
Since this was the second time she’d mentioned it, she must believe it was a possibility. He couldn’t believe that his loving family would turn on her just because of a problem the two of them had.
But she was right that they were coming at this from different places. He took a deep breath. “Given what you just said, you’ll be safest if we keep the contract the way it is.”
“I agree.”
“Okay, I’ll take the laptop back to the desk.” Ignoring the hollow feeling in his chest, he started to get up.
She caught his arm. “Please don’t.”
“But—”
“I’ve evaluated the risk, and although it’s high, so is the reward.”
Warmth spilled over him. Giddy with relief, he smiled. “You’re the only woman I know who would use those words to describe a decision to have sex.”
“What can I say? I’m a nerd.”
“A sexy nerd.” He leaned toward her, hoping to steal a kiss.
She put a hand over his mouth. “Escape clause first, kissing later.”
“You drive a hard bargain, lady.” Not really. She’d just agreed to take a chance on blowing up her life so they could share more precious hours in each other’s arms.
He’d make damn sure she didn’t suffer because of that decision. He’d do whatever it took, even if it meant shouldering all the responsibility.