Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
T racy’s head ached from the pressure of unshed tears. But she wouldn’t cry. That would undermine her argument, and she had to make it, had to convince him he was letting all this feel-good sex lead him astray.
His proposal had scared the shit out of her. Still did. When Adam Bridger made up his mind, he dug in. He truly believed they were soul mates. Even in this wonky light, she could see it in his eyes.
“Does Luis have anything to do with this?”
No answer.
“He does, doesn’t he? You went to see him last night and he gave us his blessing, so now you think?—”
“It’s not just Luis. Listen, let me get rid of this condom and we’ll talk.” He left for the bathroom.
Once he was gone, she hopped out of bed. Well, hopped was an exaggeration. She’d never had sex like that and she was shaky. All she wanted was to curl up with the man who’d provided it. But the red napkins had to go. Then she turned off the lamps, leaving the room in a dusky, twilight haze.
Her alarm clock sat staring at her, its illuminated hands pointing out they had less than twenty minutes left in the hour. Would it be enough to turn things around?
She’d been so tickled by his growling routine, so happy that they’d had what anyone would call a wild and crazy time in bed. But now….
“I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that.”
She turned as he walked toward her, a frown creasing the spot between his brows, his expression telling her he was marshalling his forces.
So was she. “Face it, we had mind-blowing sex. I can understand why you’d say what you did. Can we just agree that nobody thinks straight when they’re in the grip of something that compelling?”
“We did have mind-blowing sex, but I was planning to say all that before I walked into this room.” He pulled her close and cupped her cheek, tilting her face up to his. “Yes, I talked to Luis last night and he?—”
“I respect Luis, respect his opinion, but he can’t possibly know?—”
“That’s right. He can’t. Not for sure. I took that into consideration. I put myself in your shoes, and I’ll admit that’s tough because?—”
“I wear a size seven and you wear a size thirteen?” Maybe humor would help them through this.
He smiled. “You wear an eight.”
“Just testing.”
“I don’t know everything about you. I didn’t know how you chose boyfriends. That was new information. I wouldn’t have guessed you’d let Auntie Kat talk you into those undies, so we can still surprise each other.”
“You surprised me just now. I had no idea?—”
“Yeah, I screwed that up.”
“Meaning we can just sort of forget it ever happened?”
His chest heaved. “Afraid not. Yes, I want your body so much that it makes me nuts sometimes.”
“Ditto. And when we’re temporarily nuts, we’re not logical. We’re not considering the ramifications.”
“I agree.”
“Good. So can we take a breath and?—”
“I’m not nuts all the time. Or even most of the time. Desire comes and goes. Love stays. I feel it every time I think of you, every time I watch you listening so earnestly during a council meeting, every time I catch sight of you coming down the street.”
“That’s affection.”
He held her gaze. “It’s way deeper than affection, Trace. But it’s taken years for me to see it for what it is. You’re my beloved, mi amor.”
She gulped. Spence used to call Raquel that.
“Bottom line, I love you. My proposal stands.”
Just as she’d feared, he’d come to a conclusion and was holding his ground. “I don’t know what to do right now.”
“I can see that.” Sadness flickered in his eyes. “Turns out there’s something I need to do.” Picking up his jeans from the floor, he pulled something out of his back pocket. “I’m activating the escape clause.” He ripped the paper in two and handed it to her. “Our contract is null and void.”
Her head hurt so bad she was dizzy with the pain. She took a shaky breath. “So that’s it? We’re done?”
“Not even close. I love you now and I’ll keep on loving you. The question is still on the table. You haven’t said yes, but you haven’t said no, either.”
“Oh, well, then, the answer is?—”
“Don’t. I’m begging you. Give yourself time. Like I said, try listening to your heart and your gut instead of your head. We’re both lousy at that, but if you can manage it, you might be surprised by what you discover.”
She gazed at him, shivering from the sudden chill that had come over her. “All right. I promise to give it a shot.”
“Thank you.” He gathered up his clothes and started for the door. “I’ll dress in the living room.”
She moved toward the closet, forcing her body to perform the simple task of getting ready to go down to her office. Underwear, socks, jeans, blouse, boots. She pitied her next two clients, who would get a zombie for an attorney today.
“Trace?”
“Yes?” She turned toward the door where he stood, jacket over his arm, his Stetson pulled low over his eyes. His I mean business look.
“Whatever your answer is, please let me know as soon as you decide. You can get in touch with me anytime, day or night.”
“Okay.”
He muttered a soft swear word and crossed the room, nudging back his hat on the way. His soft kiss tore her up. His murmured I love you broke her heart.
Then he was gone.
She made it through both her client appointments and even drove over to the Victorian to watch Jodi pound some nails. She thought she’d pulled it off until Angie got her aside.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Sorry, but I don’t believe that. You have the same haunted look in your eyes that Adam had when he came by earlier.”
She took a shaky breath. “We have… issues.”
“Clearly. Which is too bad, because I’ve never seen two people more in love.”
“Oh, we’re not?—”
“Tell that to someone who’s not a certified expert.”
“Huh?”
“In the past three years the McLintocks have had twelve weddings, including mine. If that doesn’t qualify me to recognize the signs, I don’t know what does.”
Tracy lowered her voice. “How do you know it’s not just sexual attraction?”
“Excellent question. When I first saw you together, I picked up on that. But at lunch yesterday, I saw something much deeper. You two were working on some plan, and it wasn’t about the lynx.”
“That’s a real thing, but you’re right, that wasn’t what that conversation was about.”
“You were so in tune with each other it gave me goosebumps. You’ve been friends since grade school. That’s special.”
“It’s part of the problem.”
“Sounds like my brother Marsh and Ella. Friends since they were five. Couldn’t risk the friendship.”
“And?”
Angie smiled. “They’re happily married and have a baby boy.”
“I’ll bet she hadn’t just ended a relationship.”
“Wanna bet? They got together days after she cancelled her wedding .”
“Wow.”
“Like I said, I’ve become something of an expert on true love. For what it’s worth, you and Adam have it sticking out all over you.”
She sighed. “I just wish so much wasn’t at stake.”
“It always is.”
That startled her. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Choosing a life partner is serious business. You don’t want to get it wrong.”
“I know. That’s what has me so spooked.”
“Just follow your gut.”
“I’ve been told that.”
“It’s good advice.” Angie glanced at her crew. “Looks like we’re ready to pack up and head to the ranch. Will you be there tonight?”
“Not tonight. I have somewhere else to be.”
“Then goodbye for now. We’re heading back to Wagon Train tomorrow. I hope when we come back….”
“No promises.” She gave Angie a hug. “But I’ll think about what you’ve said.”
“Please do.”
She said her goodbyes to the rest of the crew and pulled out her phone as she walked to her truck. She tapped on the screen. “Hey, Mom? Can I come out tonight?”