Chapter 6
Sadie
T he downside to prom, Sadie had discovered, was deciding what to wear. She was most comfortable in sweats and a hoodie, but that was the furthest thing from prom attire. Her closet lacked any formal clothes, and she only had three dresses that survived the purge of clothes last summer. Sadie knew she could ask her mom to borrow a dress, or even ask her to go dress shopping with her, but Sadie wasn’t up for the fanfare. They’d make it a huge deal and it just wasn’t to Sadie.
Not like she’d thought it would be.
She had assumed that after Trevor asked her to prom, she would be happy. Not only did she have a date, it was with a cute boy. But the internal conflict battling it out inside of Sadie was enough to drive her mad.
On one hand, she wanted to give Trevor a chance. He had asked her to prom, so he must like her on some level. Or at least that’s what she told herself. She had barely spoken to him in person in the week since he’d asked her. Most of their conversations happened on Instagram or Snapchat.
Trevor seemed like a good guy. He’d always comment on the pictures she’d post on her Snapchat stories, which sometimes led to conversations. Granted, their conversations were only surface-level—maybe not even that deep. He’d yet to ask her what she was wearing to prom, if she wanted to grab dinner, or if they were going to take pictures together.
But he had asked her what her favorite hockey team was.
She’d said the Panthers, as it was the only team she could think of.
And on the other hand, Sadie hadn’t been able to get Ellie Mackenzie out of her mind. It was like she woke up one day and saw Ellie as a woman and not just her high school classmate. She dreamed about her long hair and how it would feel to run her hands through it. Her mind had wandered off on more than one occasion, thinking about how she would ask Ellie to prom if she were brave.
Sadie would get her a dozen roses and a pack of watermelon Sour Patch Kids—Ellie’s favorite, according to a post she’d seen on Instagram. She would have some Taylor Swift song playing in the background as she waited for Ellie to come out of the theater. Ellie would smile, run to her, and wrap her arms around her neck. And Sadie would hug her and hold her and ask her to prom.
But that fantasy only existed in her dreams.
Because it didn’t matter if they barely spoke to each other at school and didn’t see each other outside of school unless it was family events. And it didn’t matter that Sadie hadn’t given Ellie any indication she was interested in her. If Ellie had wanted to ask her to the prom, she would have. Even if it was just as friends. Sadie would have gladly joined Ellie’s theater friends just so she didn’t have to go to the prom alone.
“Can’t change that now,” Sadie muttered to herself as she pulled open the door to the thrift shop downtown. The A-frame sign out front advertised they had prom dresses, so Sadie hoped she could find something that would fit. Her mom was supposed to meet her there, but Sadie didn’t see her yet.
Smiling at the lady behind the register, Sadie made her way to the back of the store, where a giant sign said prom dresses with an even bigger arrow under it. The large gaps on the metal racks indicated that she was late in buying a dress. Sadie looked for her size marked on the circular tags hanging on the rack. There were a few options, which lifted her hopes of finding a dress.
Sadie selected two dresses off the rack and found a fitting room. She texted Delaney, telling her to come to the back when she arrived. Taking off her hoodie and sweats, Sadie changed into the first dress. It was a green, form-fitting dress, and Sadie was already not feeling it how she felt in it.
There was a knock at the fitting room door, and Sadie jumped.
“Sadie?” Delaney asked.
“I don’t like this one.”
“Well, let me see it before you decide.”
Sighing, Sadie opened the door and could instantly tell that her mother wasn’t keen on the dress, but wasn’t going to tell her. Delaney smiled, seemingly stifling a laugh.
“I told you I don’t like it.”
“It’s a pretty dress, it just doesn’t scream Sadie. ”
“And I look like Ariel.”
“You don’t look like Ariel,” Delaney laughed, doing little to convince Sadie she didn’t look like the mermaid. “Try on the other one.”
Delaney shooed Sadie back into the fitting room, and she quickly discarded the green dress. She looked at the navy dress hanging on the hook by the door. It was prettier than Sadie recalled just a few moments ago when she took it off the rack. It was a tulle, A-line dress with a V-neck that wasn’t too deep. Sadie slipped it on, struggling for a moment with the zipper before studying herself in the mirror.
Damn.
The dress looked amazing on her. Sadie wasn’t too proud to admit that. It was like she’d had the dress custom-made. With the right pair of heels, Sadie knew the dress would be perfect for prom—not that the idea of heels excited her. Taking a deep breath, Sadie prepared herself for her mother’s reaction and opened the door.
“Sadie,” Delaney gasped, placing her hand over her heart, “it’s so beautiful on you.”
“You think so?”
Stepping out of the dressing room, Sadie stood in front of the three full-length mirrors between the two fitting rooms. Delaney reached up, taking Sadie’s hair out of the ponytail. She adjusted her usually unruly auburn hair over her shoulders, covering the small straps. Sadie couldn’t stop her smile from spreading wide as she twirled slightly in the dress.
“I think it’s perfect.”
“It’s really pretty.”
Sadie whipped around toward the voice.
Ellie.
She was walking toward them, with Vera trailing behind her. Their eyes locked, and Sadie savored the way Ellie’s smile made her feel. Ellie was wearing a fitted sweater, yoga pants, and a beanie. Sadie wondered how she could effortlessly pull off such a casual look.
“Hey!” Delaney greeted Vera with a hug, before turning to Ellie. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.” Vera turned her attention to Sadie. “Sadie, that dress looks amazing on you. Are you getting it for prom?”
“Um, yeah.” Sadie turned back around, looking at herself in the mirror. But her eyes quickly found Ellie over her shoulder. She winked at her, doing little to ease Sadie’s already confused mind. “I think so.”
“You should,” Ellie stated. “You look amazing in it.”
Her eyes stayed locked with Sadie’s in the mirror as her smile widened. Sadie nervously bit her lower lip, trying to hide the smile that wanted to spread across her face. Forcing herself to snap out of the moment, Sadie cleared her throat.
“I’m going to change.”
Sadie all but bolted into the fitting room. She locked the door quickly, finally letting herself take in a full breath since she’d seen Ellie. What is wrong with me , she wondered as she listened to Delaney, Vera, and Ellie talk about prom.
Of course, Ellie had plans with her friends for photos and dinner before prom. Sadie had neither of those. Fishing her phone out of her bag, Sadie quickly snapped a picture of the dress hanging back on its hanger and sent it to Trevor on Snapchat. She added the caption, prom dress found .
Maybe he would get the hint that she wanted to talk about prom with him.
Or maybe not.
He wasn’t the smartest, and Sadie wasn’t the best at asking for what she needed or wanted.
Sadie waited until Vera and Ellie walked away before exiting the fitting room. As Delaney was paying for the dress, Sadie looked around the store for Ellie.
No. Not for Ellie. Just seeing where they went.
She found them at the end of an aisle, flipping through a box of comic books as they laughed. Ellie excitedly held one up to Vera as she jumped up and down. Sadie smiled at the sight; Ellie looked even more beautiful when she was laughing.
“You ready?” Delaney put her hand on her lower back as Sadie turned to face her.
“Yeah.”
Heading to the front door, Sadie glanced over her shoulder before walking outside. She caught Ellie’s gaze and waved shyly. Ellie and Vera did the same back.
“How does pizza sound?”
“Just no pineapples,” Sadie teased.
After grabbing a to-go pizza, Delaney and Sadie headed home for dinner with Charlie. Sadie tried on her dress for Charlie, who agreed it was perfect. They watched a few episodes of a TV show before Sadie headed upstairs to her bedroom. Closing the door behind her, Sadie hung up the dress on the back of the door and stared at it. It really was perfect.
Sadie took out her phone, reading Trevor's message. They had been talking on and off on Snapchat since Sadie had sent him the picture of the dress. He had asked for a picture of her wearing it, but Sadie hadn’t sent one yet. Nor had she made up her mind whether she was going to.
Sighing, Sadie decided to take a shower to try to clear her mind. She used a lavender shower bomb Charlie had gifted her for Christmas, and it seemed to work. By the time she got out of the shower, she felt more relaxed than she had all day, and her thoughts of Ellie were finally subsiding.
She took the dress off the hanger and put it on again. Sadie tried to find the perfect position to pose for a picture for Trevor, but nothing seemed to work. Giving up, Sadie settled for a selfie that showed off the top of the dress.
And her boobs.
Sadie sent it before she could talk herself out of it. She watched as the arrow changed, indicating he had opened the message. With bated breath, Sadie waited for him to respond. As she waited, she checked her friends’ stories. Ellie had posted a picture of her new comic books, and Sadie sent her a heart-shaped emoji in response.
Then Trevor’s message appeared.
Niiiiice show me with no dress on now.
Trevor sent a series of emojis along with it, and Sadie didn’t know how to decipher them. But she did know what the eggplant meant. She had big enough ears to hear the girls on her softball team talk about what that meant to know exactly what Trevor wanted the picture for. Sadie had no idea how to feel about it.
Even though she knew better than to send those pictures, a part of Sadie felt like she had to in order to make Trevor like her. If she didn’t do what the other girls would do, he’d probably not want to go with her to prom. And Sadie wasn’t ready to face that possibility.
Without thinking about it, Sadie shimmied out of the dress and snapped a picture of her bare chest. Her hands were shaking as she clicked to send the message to Trevor.
And Ellie.
“No,” Sadie gasped. “No, no, no. Fuck!”
Throwing her phone onto the bed, Sadie collapsed onto the bed beside it. There was no fucking way she had just sent a nude to Ellie. Sadie wasn’t sure if she wanted to throw up or cry. Not only did she feel guilty for sending the picture to Trevor, but she felt mortified she’d sent it to Ellie.
With no context.
At all.
Just a hello here’s my boobs right into her messages.
Sadie covered her face with her pillow and screamed into it. How could she have done that? Why did she do that? She must have accidentally hit Ellie’s name when she was sending it to Trevor. Ellie was the last person she’d talked to on Snapchat, so that would make sense.
But it did little to calm Sadie’s anxiety.
“What do I do?” Sadie stood, pacing the floor in front of her bed. “Do I call her and tell her it was a joke? Should I ignore it? Act like it never happened? Oh, my god, I can’t believe I did this.”
Snatching up her phone, Sadie unlocked it and opened Snapchat.
And her stomach churned.
Both Trevor and Ellie had seen the picture.
And Trevor had screenshot it.
“Fuck.”