Chapter 13
Ellie
I t’s not a date. Don’t overthink it.
Ellie had been repeating the same sentences to herself for the past hour as she got ready to hang out with Sadie. She’d settled on ripped jeans and an oversized sweater, the one she’d stolen from Mason’s closet the last time she was there. Her hair had been her hold up; wearing it up seemed too casual, but wearing it down seemed too formal. Maybe a braid would work.
Checking the time on her phone once more, Ellie sighed. She’d made plans to meet Sadie downtown at the arcade at six. It was less of a final destination and more of a jumping-off point for the evening. Ellie had asked Mason for casual hang-out places while trying to avoid the inevitable conversation of why she needed such a location. Thankfully, Mason had been distracted recently as she, Chase, Blake, and Alexis worked to plan Vera and Isla’s surprise twentieth wedding anniversary party.
Of course, Ellie knew what else they had planned that was distracting Mason. She and Chase had plans to get married at the anniversary party. Ellie thought it was an insanely sweet gesture, even if it was all mushy and shit. Mason and Chase were perfect for each other and Ellie couldn’t wait until they were officially married.
Maybe I’ll ask Sadie to the anniversary party .
“You idiot, she’ll be there,” Ellie finished braiding her hair and flipped it over her shoulder. She debated a baseball cap—to be worn backwards, as was her preference—but it seemed too casual. Ellie wanted to look good for Sadie.
Well, not for Sadie.
Not exactly.
Ugh. Feelings are the worst.
Her feelings had grown rapidly since Saturday. Something about that night on Sadie’s roof had made Ellie realize how much she actually liked Sadie. And it wasn’t just as friends, no matter what she told herself or her parents or her siblings. It was too soon to be sharing those feelings, especially to Sadie. They needed to establish a friendship first.
Or at least that’s what she kept telling herself.
Grabbing her sling bag, Ellie put it over her head as she headed out the bedroom door. She walked downstairs, thankful that her siblings and parents were out to dinner in Portland. It allowed her to avoid any questions about why she’d added an extra spritz of her favorite perfume for her not a date with Sadie.
The drive downtown was one of Ellie’s favorites. There were several ways to get there, but Ellie often chose the longer route that took her by the lake and over the old logging bridge. It was the most picturesque option, with its bountiful trees and views of the lake between their gaps. Ellie would always choose that route over the one that went by the elementary school through the center of town. That way had one too many stop signs for Ellie’s lead foot.
Finding a parking spot along Main Street, Ellie walked the few blocks to the arcade. It was nestled in a back alley where a speakeasy once occupied the space. A flashing green arrow pointed to the entryway, and an illuminated neon sign welcomed everyone in. Ellie pulled open the door and stepped inside.
The Grid had a stereotypical eighties vibe, complete with movie posters and music from the era. Pinball machines, air hockey tables, racing games, and other classic arcade games filled the small space. Bright neon-colored rope lights ran around the arcade's walls, flashing various designs and colors coded by the shop’s owner.
Ellie looked around the room for Sadie but didn’t see her. Deciding to wait for her outside, she walked back out the door and ran right into Sadie.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Sadie’s smile widened as her eyes locked with Ellie. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too.”
There was a slightly awkward hesitancy as they went in for a hug, stopped, and mutually decided to hug. Ellie couldn’t stop thinking of how it felt to be in Sadie’s embrace, how their bodies fit next to each other, and how Sadie smelled like freshly picked oranges.
Ellie had to force herself to pull out of Sadie’s embrace. She stepped back, nervously flipping her braid over her shoulder so she could twirl the end of it. It was one of her nervous habits; her mom would have told her to stop but she wasn’t there.
Which was good because Ellie knew her mom would definitely know her feelings for Sadie if she saw her looking at her. But how could Ellie not look at her? She was stunning. The University of Tennessee sweatshirt fit her well, as did her yoga pants. Like Ellie, she’d worn Converse—black ones, while Ellie’s were maroon. And her hair had the gentlest curl in it, as if it had been kissed by the ocean breeze.
“You look pretty,” Ellie said before her brain registered she’d said it out loud.
Too late to take it back now.
Sadie smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “So do you.”
Ellie felt her brain short circuit. She had to think of something to say that didn’t sound stupid, which was harder than she realized. Finally, she settled on, “Do you want to go inside?”
As Sadie nodded, Ellie held the door open for her. She walked in behind her, repeatedly telling herself not to check out Sadie from behind. But she was only human. A glimpse might have been taken.
“So, what do you want to play?”
“I’m good with anything.”
“How about air hockey?” It was Ellie’s favorite game, and she beat anyone she ever played against.
“Yeah, that sounds fun.”
“I’ll load up a playing card.”
The machines were a newer addition to the arcade, replacing coins just under a year ago. Ellie walked over to the machine and put her parents’ credit card inside. She selected to add twenty dollars to the arcade’s playing card, which should keep them busy for a while. The machine spit out a vinyl card with a barcode on it and Ellie took it before walking over to the air hockey table. Sadie was already poised on her side of the table, looking adorable as she tried to look intimidating.
“I hope you know I’m super competitive, Mackenzie.”
“Oh yeah?” Ellie scanned the barcode on the air hockey table as the game came to life. She arched an eyebrow at Sadie as she set her bag down on the ground and took the puck out of the slot. Holding it up, she smiled at Sadie. “Well, for your sake, I hope you can handle defeat, Baxter, cause you see that?”
She pointed behind Sadie, which made Sadie turn around. And allowed Ellie to easily score a point with the distraction.
“Hey!” Sadie spun around, a hand on her hip. “That’s not fair.”
“Says the woman already one point behind.”
For the next hour, they trash-talked each other and laughed through nearly every game in the arcade. They were oblivious to everyone else who came and went from the arcade as they hung out together. Ellie was keenly aware each time Sadie’s hand touched hers or they got too close when scrambling for the basketballs for the basket toss game. It was doing little to convince her mind that she was truly just friends with Sadie.
Because there was definitely something more there. Whether they verbally admitted that or simply let it grow between them.
“Are you hungry?” Ellie asked as they stepped outside the arcade. Sadie nodded. “What are you in the mood for?”
“I’m good with anything.”
“Want to grab an Italian and eat down on the pier?”
Sadie’s brow furrowed in confusion as she laughed. “A what ?”
“An Italian?” Ellie waited for a beat; surely, she knew what an Italian was. Right?
Her blank stare indicated otherwise.
“A sub. A hoagie,” Ellie flatly stated as Sadie laughed.
“ Oh , okay. I’m with you now. I’ve never heard them called that before.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, that must be a Maine thing.” Sadie took a few steps toward Main Street before looking back at Ellie. Her hair tossed perfectly over her shoulder as she smiled. “Come on. Let’s go get an Italian. ”
After picking up two to-go subs at Carlson’s, they headed down toward the pier. They found an empty bench and sat; Ellie straddling the bench as Sadie delicately sat and crossed her legs. The difference made Ellie smile as she unwrapped her food.
They ate in silence for a few moments. The sound of the waves crashing against the rocky shore mixed with the sound of the boat horns as they entered the cove. Ellie watched Sadie watch the ocean, and she took in the sight.
Sadie was unlike anyone Ellie had ever met before. She had captivated Ellie when they’d first met over two years ago, but little came from it. In fact, Ellie had written it off as a childish crush on the new girl in town. How boringly stereotypical.
It wasn’t until recently that Ellie began to realize just how much she liked Sadie. As more than a friend. Not that she was ready to admit that to Sadie.
Or anyone.
At seventeen, Ellie had never dated anyone. She didn’t know the first thing about how to ask a girl out or how to kiss a girl or how to hold a girl’s hand. Ellie did, however, know how to hug a girl based on her earlier hug with Sadie. The way her hands perfectly wrapped around Sadie’s back gave her all the confidence she needed to repeat that again.
Hopefully soon.
“What are you looking at?” Sadie snapped Ellie out of her own mind.
“What?”
“You’re staring. Do I have something on my face?”
“No, you look beautiful.”
Despite hearing herself say the words out loud, Ellie couldn’t believe she’d said them. And judging by Sadie’s blush, she couldn’t either. She lowered her eyes from Ellie’s, but Ellie noticed the smile on her lips.
Do I change the subject or acknowledge that I said that? Damn, I wish I could text Mason and ask her.
She tried to channel her sister to figure out what she’d tell her. Ellie assumed Mason would tell her to go for it. That was Mason’s dating style prior to her settling down with Chase. But Ellie wasn’t her sister. They looked alike and all too often acted alike, but Ellie lacked Mason’s forward confidence with women.
Ellie had seen Mason pick up women before. Noted how effortless she made it look. She wondered if she would ever get to that point or if she was bound to stumble over her words forever.
Clearing her throat, Sadie wadded up the paper from her dinner and tossed it into the paper bag at her feet before looking at Ellie.
“Are you excited about the play?”
“I am,” Ellie smiled. “I think it’s going to be great.”
“I have no doubt about that. You sounded great when I heard you a few weeks ago.” She noticed how Sadie’s voice had a hint of nervousness. “You’re an amazing singer, Ellie.”
“Thanks.”
“And thanks for the tickets. Mom and Charlie are excited.” She paused for a moment before adding, “I am too.”
“I’m glad you’ll be there.”
Tossing her trash into the bag, Ellie scooted closer to Sadie. Her knee touched Sadie’s, but neither of them moved. She watched Sadie bite her lip as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
Ask her out. Do it. Mason would. Channel Mason.
“Maybe we could do this again sometime.”
“Yeah?” Sadie excitedly looked at her.
Okay so that wasn’t necessarily asking her out but it’s a start, right? And she seems interested.
“Yeah,” Ellie tried to play it off as if it were cool if Sadie said no, “if you’d want to.”
“I do,” she answered quickly. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”
“Me, too.”
Ellie leaned in ever so slightly, seeing if Sadie would do the same. Which she did.
Are we going to kiss? Right here? On the pier?
Her hands were sweaty as she leaned in a little more. And Sadie did the same. She could feel Sadie’s warm breath on her face. Could hear her phone ringing in her pocket.
“Shit,” Ellie fumbled with the phone to turn off the volume. It was Mason, but Ellie sent it to voicemail. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Standing, Sadie wiped her palms on her pants before picking up the bag of trash. “I should get home anyway.”
“Yeah, me too.” Ellie stood, too, and they walked back toward the arcade. She pointed down the street. “My car’s this way.”
“I’m that way,” Sadie pointed in the opposite direction. They stood silently, seemingly not ready to say goodbye but not knowing what else to say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you then.”
Ellie watched as Sadie headed down the street, got into her car, and drove away before heading to her own car. Only to be surprised by Mason waiting for her by the car.
“Shit,” Ellie mumbled to herself. She crossed her arms as she walked toward Mason, who was leaning up against the passenger side of Ellie’s car with a to-go bag in her hand.
“You know, it hit me about an hour ago why you needed ideas for casual and fun places to go.”
“So you decided to spy on me?”
“No, I came down here to pick up dinner, and then I saw you two down at the pier and then decided to spy on you.”
“You’re worse than our parents.”
“You should have kissed her.”
“Maybe I would have if I hadn’t been interrupted by a phone call.” Ellie walked around the car and opened the door. She looked at Mason over the top of the car. “Don’t you need to get your food home?”
“I do, but just know this conversation isn’t done, okay?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Mason’s eyes sparkled as they often did when she was teasing. “You know I’m your favorite sister.”
“Not right now. It’s Blake.” Ellie winked, letting Mason know she was teasing. She waved goodbye before getting into the car and pulling out of the parking spot to head home.
All the while, she let Mason’s comment ring through her mind.
You should have kissed her.
“Yeah,” Ellie sighed as she gripped the steering wheel, “I should have.”