Chapter 16
Sadie
S oftball had been Sadie’s safe space since the moment she’d first picked up a bat and stepped up to the tee at four-years-old. Sadie felt she had been chosen to play the sport by some god-like creature. There was no other way she could describe how at home she felt on the field, especially on the pitcher’s mound.
Even if Abigail had been trying to take her solace from her the last few weeks. It seemed as if neither Abigail nor the rest of the team cared that they were one game away from heading to the state playoff for the last time. Most of their teammates were seniors, and Sadie wasn’t about to let Abigail ruin their chances of winning. Again. The Moonflower Cove High School softball team had been to the state semi-finals for the last two years, and Sadie was determined to make it a third time.
She just needed her teammates to stop being dicks.
Which was apparently easier said than done.
Sadie stood on the mound, trying to get the catcher to understand she wanted a fastball, not a curveball. She couldn’t prove it, but she was more than convinced Abigail had told everyone on the team to not listen to her. It was as if no one on the team cared that they weren't going to the playoffs if they didn’t win their current game. They only needed to win two more games to make it to playoffs. If everyone would work together, they could do it.
She threw the fastball, but the catcher dropped it. Sadie groaned, resisting the urge to yell at her teammate. From the sideline, Charlie yelled for Sadie to come in from the field. Sadie gritted her teeth, knowing she was about to be kicked off the mound and be replaced by Abigail.
“What’s wrong?” Charlie crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s the fourth walk this game. This isn’t you.”
“It’s Tori. She’s giving me calls, I throw them, but she positions for something else. She’s throwing the game on purpose.”
Charlie shook her head, and Sadie knew she believed her even if she wouldn’t say that. She pointed to the dugout, and Sadie groaned.
“Charlie, please. Don’t.”
“Sadie,” she snapped, “if it were Abigail on the mound, I’d be doing the same thing. We need to win this game, and if you being on the mound is stopping us, then I have to do what’s best for the team.”
“This is so not fair.”
Sadie stormed off to the dugout, ripping her glove off as she hit it against the wall. Hurrying past her teammates, she found an empty spot on the bench. She didn’t dare look over at the metal bleachers beside the dugout. Both her mom and Ellie were there, and Sadie couldn’t face either of them.
Especially not Ellie.
She’d invited Ellie to the game in Portland a few weeks ago over one of their frequent late-night text conversations. They usually weren’t too in-depth, mostly memes and videos to avoid the conversation going anywhere else. Not that Sadie didn’t want that. She was just still scared to tell Ellie how she felt.
Because currently, she felt like a loser.
“Hey.”
She snapped her head toward Ellie’s voice. Ellie was smiling against the other side of the wire fence that was at the end of the dugout. Sadie wanted to ignore her, but it wasn’t Ellie’s fault they were losing the game.
No, it’s all my fault.
Standing, Sadie walked over to the fence.
“Hey.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Sadie snorted a laugh as she crossed her arms over her chest. “My team is losing because of me, and we’re probably not going to make it to state, so no. I’m not okay. Thanks for asking.”
Ellie visibly cringed, and Sadie instantly regretted being snippy with her. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone then.”
Without another word, Ellie turned and walked away. Sadie felt her stomach drop as she watched her go and called out, “Ellie.”
But Ellie didn’t turn around. She kept walking to the bleachers and back to her spot beside Delaney. She kept her eyes forward to avoid looking in Sadie’s direction. Sadie hated herself for upsetting her; Ellie didn’t deserve that. Despite wanting to apologize, she knew the middle of a ballgame wasn’t the time.
Sulking back to the bench, she plopped down as the rest of her teammates came off the field at the end of the inning. Abigail had three strikeouts in a row and was gloating about it. As usual. She picked up her water bottle and walked over to Sadie, staring down at her.
“See, that’s how you’re supposed to pitch.”
Sadie tried to ignore Abigail and not engage with her. They’d had more than enough verbal square offs the last few weeks that Sadie honestly wasn’t up for more.
But Abigail didn’t seem to think the same.
“I see your little girlfriend is here.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.”
“No, that cold shoulder she just gave you proved that,” Abigail smirked. “Yeah, I saw that while on the mound. I guess you can’t keep anyone. Not Trevor, and definitely not Ellie .”
The way Abigail said Ellie’s name made Sadie angry. How dare she talk about Ellie. Sadie stood to her feet, coming eye to eye with Abigail.
“Leave her name out of your mouth.”
“It’s a free country, baby girl.” Her words sent chills down Sadie’s spine. “I can do whatever I want, like sending pictures. You know what I’m talking about, right?”
Without thinking, Sadie pushed past Abigail and stormed out of the dugout. She yanked open the gate in the fence and kept walking. Sadie had no idea where she was going; she hadn’t driven to the game. But she knew there was no way she was going back in that dugout.
“Sadie!” Charlie called after her. When Sadie didn’t stop, Charlie called her name again, this time from a closer distance. “Sadie,” she screamed one more time as Sadie stopped in her tracks and spun around.
“What?”
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked, throwing her hands up in the air as she put them on her hips. “We are in the middle of a game.”
“And you seem to be doing just fine with Abigail pitching.”
“That doesn’t mean you get to storm off the field.”
“I didn’t. I stormed out of the dugout.”
Charlie sighed, clearly disappointed. “Sadie. Come on. Stop acting like this.”
“Like what? That I’m upset that I probably just got pulled out of my last game as a high school senior? Upset that I have to listen to Abigail talking shit about me and Ellie?”
“You and Ellie?”
“I have every right to be upset right now. Because win or lose, we both know I’m done pitching for the year. Abigail is just too good to be replaced.”
“The only thing that determines whether you return to the mound or not is if you keep walking out on this team or walk your ass back to the dugout and rejoin your team.”
Sadie knew Charlie was right. Walking out on her team, regardless of whether they all liked each other or not, wasn’t the answer. She had enough common sense left in her brain to know that. Sighing, Sadie walked past Charlie.
“Fine.”
“Your sportsmanship is stunning. Really.”
For the rest of the game, Sadie sat on the bench as she watched her team lose. She was in a daze as she walked out onto the field to congratulate the other team. How had her high school softball career ended like that? Sadie didn’t know. She wanted to cry as she gathered and stuffed her things into her bat bag.
The bus ride back to the school was quiet. Sadie normally would have had her mother drive her back after games, but the last person Sadie wanted to be stuck in her car with was her mother. At least Charlie was seated as far away from Sadie as she could be on the bus. Sadie didn’t want to face her either.
After arriving back at the school, Charlie gave them all a pep talk. None of which Sadie heard. She was too zoned out staring at the empty softball field at the top of the nearby hill. Sadie had driven to the school before the game, as did her teammates. She put her bag into the trunk of her car as she sat in the driver’s seat, and watched everyone leave.
Finally pulling out of the parking lot, Sadie made her way home with Chappell Roan blaring on the radio. Both Charlie and her mom had beaten her home, and Sadie didn’t want to face either of them. So instead of heading inside the house, Sadie grabbed her bag out of the truck and walked down to the makeshift softball field.
It had become Sadie’s favorite place in the Cove to spend her time. She flipped the switch for the lights that were in the barn as the field became illuminated. Opening up her bag, she took out a few balls and her glove. She walked over to the pitcher’s mound, kicking off some dirt that had collected on the white base. Sadie would have savored her last game more if she knew it was her last win during a high school game. At the time, Sadie had all the confidence in the world that their team was going to make it to the finals.
But now that wasn’t going to happen.
Getting into position, she took a deep breath as she brought her glove to her chest, got into position, and threw the ball over home plate.
“That’s how you should have been throwing at the game.”
Delaney’s voice caused her to jump as she turned to face her. Her mother had her arms crossed over her chest and a disappointed look on her face. Sadie didn’t want to hear what she had to say, but there was no avoiding it. It would happen whether she wanted it to or not.
“What’s wrong, kid?”
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Delaney kept her voice stern as she walked toward her. She stopped just short of the mound, putting a hand on her hip. “That’s not you. The girl I saw at the game wasn’t you. I can’t believe you acted that way.”
“I’ll apologize to Charlie.”
“Oh, I know you will. And your teammates.”
Sadie started to protest, but Delaney held up her hand.
“Nope, let me finish first. I know you’ve been having a hard time with the team this year. I know Abigail and her goonies haven’t made things easy for you after certain events, but until today, I’ve been proud of the way you’ve kept your head up and not let it get to you. But what I saw today wasn’t you.”
“I know.” Sadie kicked her foot against the dirt. “I wasn’t on my game tonight, literally. But Tori kept giving me the wrong calls, and I just let her and Abigail get to me. I’m better than that, I know. The team deserved better.”
“I agree.” Delaney let her hands fall from her hips to her side. “But I’m not just talking about the game. I’m also talking about the way you treated Ellie.”
Sadie’s heart and stomach fell simultaneously at the mention of Ellie’s name. Her shoulders fell as Sadie took a few steps off the mound toward her mother.
“Ellie was crushed after you snipped at her.”
“I—I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“I’m sure you didn’t, but you did.”
There was no way Sadie could argue. Delaney was right. She had hurt Ellie. She’d seen the hurt in her eyes as she walked away. Sadie knew better than to snipe at Ellie, especially when she wasn’t doing anything wrong. Ellie was just checking on her, and Sadie had been a bitch.
“I’ll apologize to her, too.”
“Good.” There was a slight sparkle in Delaney’s eyes. “It would be bad to mess that up before it even started.”
“We’re just friends ,” Sadie whined as Delaney put her arm around her shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah. Tell yourself what you need to hear.” Winking, Delaney nodded toward the mound. “Let me go grab my glove out of the barn. We can throw some balls around together. If you want.”
“I do,” she answered quickly.
“Good. Me, too.”