Chapter 31
Ellie
A s Dylan parked the car in the driveway, Ellie unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to her.
“So, I’m not crazy, right?”
“About Sadie? No,” Dylan laughed. “That girl is in love with you.”
“OMG, stop.” Ellie covered her face with her hands as she giggled.
She’d brought Dylan to Sadie’s so she could have an outsider’s perspective on her relationship with Sadie. According to everyone in her family, the two were beyond smitten, and Ellie could agree to that.
But she also couldn’t ignore the fact there was definitely something more between them. She’d first felt it a few weeks ago, and Ellie hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. The only positive thing to that was it had helped her performance in the show immensely as she pictured the boy playing Sky to be Sadie.
Not that they looked anything alike.
And Sadie was a much better kisser.
“You’ve got it bad , my dude.”
“I know,” Ellie dramatically whined. “I just don’t know what to do. I’ve never had sex before. Or even wanted to have it until now.”
“Well, I can’t help you there.” Dylan shrugged. “But why don’t you ask Mason? We know she has experience.”
“Mason is too advanced for me.”
“Blake?”
“I don’t know if we’re there yet with our sister relationship.”
“What about your moms?”
Ellie groaned. She’d thought about that, too. “I don’t want to give them a heart attack.”
“Then you’re down to Eden.”
Her Aunt Eden had been in town for a couple of days and was staying with them for a few weeks. Ellie knew she could talk to Eden about anything, but that also applied to anyone in her family. But maybe starting with Eden would be a good gauge to see how her parents would react. Eden was the cool young aunt, but also saw all the Mackenzie kids as her own.
“Maybe I’ll see if Eden is still up.”
“Keep me posted. I should get home since I have to work tomorrow.”
Ellie rolled her eyes as she waved goodbye to Dylan. As she headed inside the house, she was thankful to find the living room empty. She’d gotten a text earlier from Vera that she’d been called in to work and to let her know when she got home, so Ellie did. Her mom and siblings must have already gone to bed, even though it was barely eleven.
The kitchen light was still on, so Ellie made her way to the back of the house. She was relieved to find Eden sitting at the table with a script in front of her. Ellie pulled out the seat beside her and sat.
“Whatcha reading?”
“Some new script my agent sent over.”
“Is it any good?”
Eden pushed her black-rimmed reading glasses up into her thick brown hair. “It could be with me as the lead.”
“I have no doubt.”
“What’s on your mind, kiddo?”
“Nothing.”
Eden’s brown eyes narrowed at Ellie. “You’re not that good of an actress right now. Spill.”
Closing the script, Eden pushed it out of the way as she leaned onto the table. Ellie thought of a thousand ways to ask the question lingering on her lips. But somehow the one that won out was, “I need sex advice.”
“Pussy or penis?” Eden asked without hesitation before saying, “pussy. Who am I kidding? Go on.”
“Can you be serious for like two minutes?”
“Honey, if you only want to talk about sex for two minutes then I am not your girl.”
Ellie rolled her eyes as Eden laughed.
“I’m serious, Eden. I don’t know who else to talk about it.”
“So, I’m your last choice?”
“No, that would be Brayden.”
“Ew, no.” Eden chuckled. “Never ask him for advice. Or any boys for that matter. Or men. Just… don’t.”
“Noted.”
“And I feel like I should tell you that your moms would be great people to talk to about this.”
Ellie sighed, dropping her shoulders. “I know. I just don’t want to freak them out, you know?”
“I get it.” Softening her smile, Eden put a hand on Ellie’s arm. “I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to talk to me about this.”
“Don’t get all sappy on me now, Mackenzie. I need advice.”
“For Sadie, right?”
“Obviously,” Ellie answered with a laugh.
“Okay, so,” Eden sat up straighter, “have you ever… ya know.”
“No.”
“Okay, so we’re on the beginning course. Got it.”
Ellie wanted to tell Eden never mind, that she didn’t need advice. But the truth was Ellie could either go into sex with Sadie blind, or with a little knowledge at least.
Granted, Ellie knew the anatomy of a woman probably better than anyone her age. Her mama had sat them all down before and explained everything to them, much to Brayden’s horror. But Ellie was thankful that her parents wanted them all to respect their own bodies as well as other people’s. It was also why Ellie was overthinking everything about sex with Sadie.
“I feel like I should get the diagram out of your mama’s office and teach you.”
“I know where everything’s located.”
“Yes, but the woman’s body is like an orchestra.”
“Oh, boy,” Ellie sighed as she leaned back into her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. “Here we go.”
“You have to know how every single part of her works together to reach an orgasm. You have to know how and where to touch her to make her sing. Because it’s different with everyone.”
Ellie leaned onto the table. “How do you know? You’ve only been with Landry in years .”
Landry Miller was Eden’s not-a-girlfriend girlfriend. They might as well be dating as exclusively as they were with each other. But with Landry playing for a women’s soccer team and Eden working on Broadway in NYC, the two were often literally in different places all the time. Their arrangement seemed to work, however, so Ellie couldn’t judge it too much.
“Hey, I had experience before Landry. And some after. I’m not dating her,” Eden added with unconvincing confidence.
“Mhmm.”
“I’m not.” Eden looked as if she was going to defend herself more, but instead changed the subject. “So, may I ask why the sudden interest in sex with Sadie? Is she pressuring you?”
“No,” she quickly answered, shaking her head. “No. Not at all.”
Eden held up her hands. “Okay, I was just checking. I believe you. Hell,” she snorted a laugh, “after seeing you two at the Cape, I asked Isla if you had been dating Sadie for a while.”
“It wasn’t that obvious.”
“Baby girl, Stevie Wonder could have seen it.”
Ellie couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her aunt’s comment. “Okay, fair.”
The back door opened as Eden and Ellie turned toward it. Vera came in wearing her scrubs and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She smiled at them both as she sat her things down on the kitchen counter. Kicking her shoes off by the door, she walked over to the table.
“Hey, babies.” Vera kissed each of them before sitting in the empty chair by Ellie. “What are you two still doing up?”
“We’re discussing the next Mackenzie getting laid.”
“ Eden ,” Ellie groaned.
“Aww, my baby is growing up so fast.” Vera pulled Ellie into a dramatic embrace. “But why did you go to Eden? I’ve kept your mom happy for thirty years.”
“ Mama ,” she groaned again. “Don’t.”
“I’m just saying.” The smug look on her mama’s face made it impossible for Ellie not to laugh. “So fill me in. What are we discussing? How can I help? Or do you want me to leave?”
Ellie scooted her chair closer to Vera’s and wrapped an arm around her. “No, stay. Please.”
“Always, baby.” Vera kissed the top of her head. “How can I help?”
“I was just explaining that the woman’s body is like an orchestra.”
Vera rolled her eyes. “She’s been using that analogy since Mason first went to her for sex advice.”
“Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
Waving off her sister-in-law, Vera focused her attention on Ellie.
“So, have you and Sadie had sex yet?”
“No,” Ellie shook her head. “I just get the feeling it’s going that direction.”
“Have you and Sadie talked about it?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay,” Vera inhaled sharply and held it in for a moment before letting it out slowly. “First things first, you need to talk about it before anything happens. Make sure you are both on the same page. If one isn’t ready, that’s okay. If you’re both ready, then make sure you’re both comfortable and consenting to whatever the other is doing. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Your body, your choice. Even if it’s someone you really like.”
Ellie nodded. “I know. You’ve always taught us that.”
“And I know you know all of this. But I also know your first time can have a lot of emotions around it. I don’t want you to be overwhelmed or feel like you can’t talk to us before or after.”
“Just not during ,” Eden added with a laugh.
“You’re a smart girl, Ellie.” Vera methodically tucked Ellie’s hair behind her ears. “And I know you know sex is a big deal. It’s not something you do just because you’re bored. It means something. Even after thirty years, sex with your mom still means so much to me.”
Ellie knew that most kids would have recoiled at their parents talking about their sex life. But for Ellie, it was nothing out of the ordinary. They’d always been open about sex, and Ellie hadn’t realized how much she appreciated that until now. Her parents didn’t judge her or tell her she was too young. Instead, they helped her understand her body and the connection she’d always share with that person.
Which was looking ever more likely to be Sadie.
“I definitely want to talk to Sadie about it first. I think we’re on the same page, but, like you said, I want to make sure.”
“And honestly, Care Bear, that’s the best thing to do. Talking will help you both know where you’re at.” Vera put her hand on Ellie’s cheek as she smiled at her. “You got this, Ellie.”
“Now, go get that orgasm!” Eden’s comment made them all laugh, and Ellie was thankful for the distraction. They all chatted a little while longer about everything before they headed to their separate rooms for the night.
Or, well. Ellie had at least had every intention of sleeping in her own bed that night. But as she lay in the garage apartment, she suddenly felt very alone.
Pushing the sheets off her, she slipped on a pair of flip-flops and headed over to the main house. She left her shoes by the door as she padded up the stairs to her parents’ room. Normally, Vera slept on the side closest to the door. Ellie could make out her frame even in the darkened room.
“Mama?” Ellie whispered as she approached the bed. Vera didn’t say anything; she simply lifted the sheets up and let Ellie under them with her.
Kissing her cheek, Vera wrapped her arm around her. It wasn’t long before Ellie felt her mom’s hand squeeze her arm as well. For the millionth time in her life, Ellie thanked the universe for choosing her to be Isla and Vera Mackenzie’s daughter.