35. Sara
35
SARA
“ W hy don’t people text before they come over anymore?” I groan as I open my door fully, so his massive frame can fit. “I look…”
“Fucking perfect, as always,” Jack says with a smirk, although I’m not sure the smile quite reaches his whole face.
“What did you want to talk about?” I’ve already taken his hand to lead him to the sofa, and since he’s brushing my fingers with his thumb, I don’t think it’s about anything too terrible…but then, that’s what my ex would do. Tell me everything was okay, when it really, really wasn’t…
I pull him down to sit opposite me while I perch on the edge of the sofa, twisting to face him.
“So…” he begins but then his eyes flash down to my legs that spill out from the split of the dressing gown. “You’re not…”
“Wearing underwear? No. I just got out the shower in case you haven’t noticed.” I smile. “You’ve had front row seats before, what’s the big deal?”
He groans. “Look will you just cover up for like two minutes so I can get this out? I need the blood to be in my head, not my dick.”
I huff, cross my legs and pull the silk over my thighs. “Better?”
“Thank you,” he begins a little calmer before his eyes flash to my chest where my nipples are definitely piercing through the silk. He gets up, strides around the coffee table, and rubs the back of his neck. Then in one long breath, he says, “Okay, I don’t know what that was earlier in my car, and I’m not complaining.” He clasps his hands behind his head and looks up. “In fact, please feel free to do that again any time you like.” He lets his arms drop, then rubs a hand over his mouth. What’s got him so jittery? “But we have to talk about what you said before you ran off.”
I swallow, my mind casting back to what the hell I said. I stare up at him, giving him my most confused expression.
“You said you got the urge to show me that this,”—he points from me to him—“isn’t a one-sided thing. You said you didn’t want to be one of the people who use me.” He sighs when I don’t say anything. “Sara, is that what you think you’ve been doing? Using me?”
Oh. He’d picked up on that. Sure, I wanted him to, but in a way that satisfied him, not in a way that made him feel bad like he clearly does right now. Shit.
“No,” I say, standing to go to him then taking both his hands in mine. “It’s just, I know we got off to that weird start, where you actually thought I was using you.”
He lets go of me, his hands shooting up to rub his face, his biceps straining against the sleeves of his white T-shirt. He groans. “Sara, please tell me you didn’t have sex with me because of what happened at Midas. Because you were trying to prove you weren’t using me?”
I don’t like that we’re not touching anymore, so I place my hands above the waistband of his sweatpants, stroking him gently. “No, not entirely. I know we moved on from that.” I continue to stroke at his waist. “I guess I just didn’t want you to think I expected you to do all the work. I mean you’ve been very… generous. So generous. And all I’ve done is leave you with…blue balls.”
His eyes fly open. He sets his hands over mine, removing them from his body. Before I can protest, he’s already drawing in breath.
“I don’t care if I’m not the one being taken care of,” he says firmly. “I get off on seeing you get off. The only reason I haven’t let you make me come until tonight, is because you said you weren’t ready to date.” He stares down at me, his eyes intense, but the soft Jack is still very much there. “I didn’t want you to feel pressured.” He shakes his head, “I’ve been so focused on keeping the weight off you, only to find out you screwed me in my car because you felt bad.”
“God Jack, you make it sound like you hated it!”
“I did not hate it. I fucking loved everything about it,” he says, never sounding more serious. “Of course I wanted to have sex with you. I wanted to fuck you the second you screamed in my face after the car wreck, fucking angry little body turned me on so much.” I try to hide my gasp while he still looks serious as hell. He lowers his voice. “I’d take blue balls for a whole year before I let you feel like you owe me something.”
I bite into my bottom lip because everything he’s saying is just so damn…sweet. I don’t know anyone who’d get this worked up because someone paid them back a sexual favor. Which makes me wonder if Amber was right… Could Jack really like me? Yes, he’d told me before, at his home, but things were so new and everything happened so fast, I bare ly had time to consider the implications of his admittance.
“Okay, maybe it’s wrong to feel like I owe you something,” I say at last, remembering what he told me a couple days ago about giving him honesty. “Maybe that isn’t healthy.” Then I feel a streak of frustration course through me. “Maybe I just wanted to give you something, and that was the first thing that came to mind. Isn’t it okay to want that?”
I step forward, but I don’t touch him since last time he moved me off him, and I’m still pissed about that.
“Well, yeah. But not if…” He’s still frowning.
“I didn’t feel pressured.” I throw my head back. “I wanted to have sex with you. Sure, I was a little nervous, you heard Amber in the alley way, it’s been a really long time!” I cross my arms over my chest. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said those things to you, but Jack, I can’t help it if I want things to feel equal between us.” I sigh. “You’re so used to always being the one to take care of people, to look after people. Why can’t you just relax when someone attempts to do the same for you?”
He’s shrugging and frowning and grumbling under his breath, and I can see that this is new territory for him. He’s simply not used to being taken care of. It’s endearing for the whole of two heartbeats until that course of frustration blasts through me again.
“Christ, I only had sex with you and you’re acting like I gave you a kidney!” I throw my head back. “Between you and Amber, I swear!” I shriek. “First, she’s telling me I’ve got to get back out there, then she’s telling me I need to be careful. I have sex with you, and you act like I’ve pissed in your breakfast. Why can’t you both just realize that maybe I’m not doing any of this as some attempt to fix myself or because I think I owe you? Maybe it’s simply because I actually like you!”
Jack looks like he’s both relaxed and tense at the same time. “You like me?”
I attempt to play with my hair, but remember it’s wrapped beneath the towel, so I just stand there looking at my feet instead. “Yes. I like you, Jack.” I blink up at him, smirking. “I wouldn’t wear my trashy shoes and cut out panties for just anyone.” Finally, I get a smile from Jack. I continue, “I get it. You think I acted like that because I wanted to please you.” Then, I narrow my eyes as a smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. “But what if it turned me on as much as it turned you on? What if I went into it thinking of you but came out on the other end thinking how much I can’t wait to do that again? Would that change things?”
He shrugs, but I can see his eyes light up even though he’s too stubborn to admit I could be right. “Maybe.”
“I know I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length by not wanting to do the whole dating thing, but you’re the one who said no more games,” I say, my voice perking up. “Let me stop playing hard to get for a change and just do something for you because I know you’ll like it.”
The dimple in his cheek appears, and finally he’s smiling again. “Alright.” He shrugs as he takes a step toward me. “I suppose.”
Thank God that’s over, but just for good measure, I add, “So are we done?” I move back from him.
He nods, reaching for me. “I’m just not used to someone?—”
“Who actually cares about you?” I cut in as I step away from him again. “Yeah, I can see that.”
He’s wearing his cute, confused look. “Why do you keep moving away from me? ”
I don’t skip a beat. “Because you moved my hands when I tried to touch you.”
“Because I was trying to have a serious conversation, I couldn’t do it with you distracting me.” He smirks.
Not good enough. I cross my arms.
He steps forward, his scent hovering around me. “Can we touch now?”
I cross my arms tighter and stick my nose in the air.
“Didn’t hear no.” He swoops for me, hands gripping my hips as he throws me over his shoulder. I shriek as my towel falls from my head and all I can do is sink my fingers into his back. “Which one’s your bedroom?”
I’m about to tell him to put me down, but his question makes me laugh. “The only other door in this place, this isn’t a brownstone, mister.”
Jack chuckles as he pushes through my bedroom door, then sets me on my back on top of the bed. His body comes on top of mine, angling slightly so his thick torso doesn’t crush me. My leg slips from the split in the robe, my thigh nudging into his side. Our faces are inches apart, and my hand rises to stroke his cheek, my thumb brushing his lips. He takes me in his mouth, kissing my fingertips gently.
“I care about you too,” he says, face soft, features a little sleepy. “More every minute I’m with you, Sara.”
Then, he’s kissing the bridge of my nose, lips travelling to graze my cheek before his mouth finds mine.
His hand slips into my hair, his thumb stroking my temple. “I’m sorry if it sounded like I was interrogating you. I…just want you to feel like yourself around me.”
I draw his face to mine, pressing a deep kiss to his mouth. “I do. You have no idea the effect you have on me Jack. All I’ve been is myself around you.” We sink deeper into the kiss, his fingers twisting in my wet hair to pull me in closer.
“So…you wanted to fuck me after I screamed in your face?” I grin against his lips.
Jack chuckles, his whole body vibrating against me. “You know I did.”
I grin, “Yeah, I know you did.”
He squeezes me, tickling my ribs in the process before kissing my throat when my head falls back. When he stops, my eyes follow his gaze to where he’s staring.
“What’s all that?” He looks at the pile of paperwork next to my head.
“The thing you hired me for,” I say, looking at the spread of documents I’d planned to work on tonight. “I’m designing a whole new app just for you.”
Jack sits up, pulling me with him. “You are?”
“Did you think I planned on putting your high end, ritzy venues on an app called Street Bandit ?” I reach for the paperwork, straightening it out and uncovering an iPad in the process.
“I figured you’d have something up your sleeve,” he says eyeing the tablet. “Do I get to see? Or are you planning a grand reveal?”
I pick up the iPad and swipe to a document that shows things like color schemes and branding options. “No, you can look. But it’s all just ideas right now,” I say as I hand him the tablet. “And, obviously I have to give it to a designer to put it all together professionally, but you get the idea.” My cheeks suddenly flood with heat, and I can’t stop staring at Jack’s face, waiting for some sort of reaction.
“You did all this?” he says eventually, giving nothing away .
“Well, yes. Why? Is it bad? I can rework things, like I said, it’s all just ideas…”
“No,” he says, still not taking his eyes from the screen. “It’s perfect.”
I press my lips together, forcing the smile that wants to erupt onto my face from coming out. “Really?”
“Yes.” He’s zooming in, angling his head to get a better look. “This couldn’t align better with the image of my company.” He looks up at me. “And other similar establishments, you’re going to draw in a lot of business from this.”
I shrug. “That’s the plan. I mean, it’s still the same concept as the current app, I fully plan on mirroring it completely, just with a luxurious new appearance,” I say a little smugly before sighing. “Now, I just have to get Walter to agree and see that I’m worth being promoted.”
Jack sets down the tablet as he sits on the edge of the bed. “How could he not? You clearly have a gift for design.”
“Because Walter is all numbers and logic. He struggles with creativity.” I roll my eyes, then slide forward, climbing into Jack’s lap. “I swear if he had the choice, he never would have hired a marketing team. He thinks things can run on the same original concept forever.”
Jack pulls my legs around his waist and grips my thighs. “Doesn’t sound too logical to me.” He flips us over so I’m on my back again, and his body is planted between my legs.
His mouth traces the silky material covering my shoulder before he sinks his teeth in, dragging it down my arm.
I sink my fingers into his scalp, tugging at his hair. “You feel like blue balls are on the menu for tonight.” I roll my hips against his, causing him to groan while he peppers my chest in kisses before moving to my breasts. “Since you’re hellbent on being respectful. ”
He pushes up from the bed, one arm reaching behind his head to pinch the back of his T-shirt, tugging it off in one pull. Then, he’s wrapping the end of the tie at my waist in his hand, before pulling it from around my middle in a single swipe. The gown instantly parts, exposing my entire body completely bare in front of Jack for the first time. I watch his throat work as his eyes feast over my body. “Not an option for me tonight, I’m afraid.” His chest heaves as his hand reaches between my legs, causing my back to arc up from the bed and my knees to fall apart. “Now where did you put those trashy shoes?”