Chapter Thirty-Two — For You #2
There. The chapter title. The entire fucking trap. Elliot stared at the speaker. Ronan answered before he could.
“Wrong.”
Silence. Elliot looked toward the ceiling. Ronan continued.
“I did it for me.”
Saint went quiet. Nathan frowned. Ronan’s voice came stronger now.
“I wanted to live.”
Something inside Elliot shifted. Relief. Pride. Love. Everything. Ronan continued.
“Not every violent thing is about Elliot.”
Saint said nothing.
“Not every choice I make belongs to you.”
Still nothing. Elliot smiled. Ronan had figured it out. The same thing Elliot was learning. Saint took choices and renamed them. Made everything part of their story. Permission. Punishment. Reward. Corruption. Ownership. No. Ronan’s voice softened.
“And I’m still not killing anybody for him.”
Elliot’s chest tightened. Nathan looked disgusted. Saint finally spoke.
“Then perhaps you don’t love him enough.”
The sentence landed. Elliot felt it. Ronan laughed. Actually laughed.
“Holy shit.”
Saint went quiet. Ronan continued.
“That’s it?”
No response.
“That’s your whole fucking thing?”
Elliot almost laughed too. Ronan sounded incredulous.
“You think love means becoming whatever the other person needs?”
Saint answered:
“Love changes people.”
“Yes.”
Ronan’s voice hardened.
“But if you have to destroy someone to prove they love you, you don’t want love.”
Silence. Elliot stared. Fuck. Ronan continued.
“You want obedience.”
There. Exactly. Saint’s voice disappeared. No static. No laugh. Nothing. Nathan’s face had gone pale. Elliot looked at him.
“You knew.”
Nathan’s jaw tightened.
“What?”
“That’s what Saint wanted.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Nathan shook his head.
“They loved us.”
Bell looked increasingly disturbed. Elliot almost pitied Nathan. Almost.
“No.”
Nathan’s eyes flashed.
“You don’t know.”
“I do.”
“You were their favorite.”
There it was. The wound. Elliot stared. Nathan continued.
“They talked about you constantly.”
“Because they wanted you jealous.”
“No.”
“They made you follow me.”
“To protect you.”
“No.”
“To understand you.”
“No.”
Nathan stepped closer. Bell immediately moved between them. Nathan ignored him.
“They said you were becoming perfect.”
Elliot’s stomach turned. Perfect. Golden boy. Again. Always someone needing him to be something. Saint. Bellweather. Family. Everyone. Except Ronan. Ronan knew he was terrible and somehow wanted him without asking him to pretend otherwise. That mattered. Nathan’s voice cracked.
“They said once you were ready, we’d all be together.”
Elliot stared.
“All?”
Nathan froze. Too much. Saint’s speaker crackled.
“Nathan.”
Nathan looked upward. Fear. Again. Elliot caught it.
“All who?”
Nathan said nothing.
“Nathan.”
Bell whispered, “Elliot.” No. This mattered.
“Who else?”
Nathan’s breathing quickened. Saint spoke.
“Don’t.”
Elliot smiled. There. Finally. A real boundary. Good. He stepped toward Nathan.
“Who else?”
Nathan looked toward the hallway. Could run. Wouldn’t get far. Elliot softened his voice.
“You’re not special either.”
Nathan’s face crumpled. Not completely. Enough. Elliot hated himself for using it. Necessary.
“Saint did this before us.”
Nathan shook his head.
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“How many?”
“Stop.”
“How many projects?”
Nathan’s eyes filled. Bell stared. Saint’s voice hardened.
“Nathan.”
Nathan flinched. Elliot knew. He had it.
“Tell me.”
Nathan whispered:
“Seven.”
Silence. Elliot stopped breathing. Bell’s face changed. Seven. Not victims. People. Projects. Nathan. Elliot. Five others. Saint had done this repeatedly.
“How many are alive?”
Nathan looked away.
“Three.”
Cold. Elliot’s stomach turned.
“What happened to the others?”
No answer. Saint spoke.
“Enough.”
For the first time, anger. Real. The building lights flickered. Bell looked toward the door. Elliot’s pulse sharpened. Saint continued.
“You were given a choice.”
Elliot stared.
“No.”
“You confessed.”
“Yes.”
“You betrayed me.”
“No.”
“You betrayed us.”
“There was never an us.”
Silence. Then Saint laughed. Different. Not warm. Broken.
“Still his.”
Elliot smiled faintly.
“Yes.”
The answer came easily. Saint went quiet. Elliot continued.
“Mine too.”
Bell looked at him. Nathan did. Saint remained silent. Good. Not Ronan’s possession. Not Saint’s. His own. Finally. A loud mechanical bang echoed downstairs. Ronan shouted something. Elliot moved toward the doorway. Bell caught him.
“Wait.”
Another bang. Then Vance’s voice somewhere beyond:
“POLICE! HANDS!”
Chaos erupted. Nathan spun. Tried to run.
Bell grabbed him badly. Elliot moved automatically.
Caught Nathan’s open cuff chain. Pulled.
Nathan stumbled. Hit the doorframe. Elliot forced him down.
Not throat. Not head. Arm behind back. Control.
Nathan struggled. Elliot tightened enough. No more. Promise. Bell stared.
“Nice.”
Elliot looked up.
“Don’t.”
Bell almost smiled. Officers flooded the hallway. Vance first. Weapon drawn. Nathan immediately stopped struggling. She stared at Elliot holding him down. Then:
“Get off.”
Elliot did. Immediately. Good. No. Not that word. He stepped back. Officers restrained Nathan fully. Vance looked at Elliot.
“You okay?”
“Yes.”
True enough.
“Bell?”
“Alive.”
“Ronan?”
Elliot’s pulse jumped. Vance looked toward the stairs.
“He’s fine.”
“Where?”
“Downstairs.”
Elliot moved. Vance blocked him.
“No.”
His entire body tightened. She pointed toward his wrists.
“You are still under arrest.”
Fuck. Reality again. Elliot looked down.
No cuffs currently. Bell had removed them for consultation.
Still custody. He could not simply run downstairs.
Ronan appeared at the far end of the hallway.
Alive. Hair a mess. Shirt torn at the shoulder.
One bruise forming near his cheek. Elliot stopped.
Ronan saw him. Everything else disappeared.
He walked closer. An officer tried stopping him. Vance said:
“Let him.”
Ronan reached Elliot. Looked him over.
“You okay?”
“Yes.”
“Actually?”
“Yes.”
Ronan nodded. Elliot touched the bruise near his cheek.
“Who?”
“Guy with gun.”
“I’m going to—”
Ronan stared. Elliot stopped. Promise.
“No.”
Ronan smiled. Tiny.
“Growth.”
“Fuck you.”
“There he is.”
Elliot’s hand remained against his face. Ronan leaned into it. Public. Police everywhere. Nobody cared anymore. Or Elliot didn’t.
“Saint?”
Ronan asked.
“Gone.”
“Of course.”
“Nathan said seven.”
Ronan frowned.
“What?”
“Projects.”
His expression changed.
“Seven people like you?”
“Like Nathan and me.”
“How many alive?”
“Three.”
Ronan’s stomach visibly tightened.
“Us included?”
“I don’t know.”
Vance overheard.
“Seven what?”
Elliot looked at her. There it was. Another decision. Hide. Or stop. He was tired of hiding.
“Nathan said Saint had seven projects.”
Vance’s expression sharpened.
“People?”
“Yes.”
“Names?”
“No.”
“Alive?”
“Three.”
She immediately turned toward Nathan. He looked away. Good. Police finally had something bigger than Elliot’s five murders. Not something that erased them. Something that explained the architecture around them. Vance started issuing orders. Ronan looked at Elliot.
“You told her.”
“Yes.”
“No hesitation.”
“Yes.”
Ronan smiled. Proud again. Elliot looked away.
“Stop.”
“No.”
“I’m literally under arrest.”
“Still.”
“That is a very low bar.”
“I’ve had a rough week.”
Elliot almost laughed. Then Ronan’s expression softened.
“I meant what I said.”
“What?”
“Downstairs.”
Elliot waited.
“I’m not becoming you.”
“I know.”
“And I’m not doing violence for you.”
“I know.”
“But if someone points a gun at me, I reserve the right to be extremely fucking rude.”
Elliot laughed. Actually laughed. Ronan smiled. Then his face changed. Serious.
“And you.”
“What?”
“You don’t get to kill for me either.”
Elliot’s chest tightened.
“I promised.”
“I know.”
“No loopholes.”
“Good.”
Elliot stared. Ronan caught himself.
“Sorry.”
This time Elliot smiled.
“Allowed.”
Vance approached. Reality. Again.
“Elliot.”
He looked toward her.
“You’re being transferred to county holding.”
Ronan’s face tightened.
“When?”
“Now.”
The word hurt more than expected. Elliot looked at Ronan. Ronan stepped closer.
“I’ll visit.”
Elliot swallowed.
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve said that.”
“I’ll keep saying it.”
Vance waited. Elliot held Ronan’s gaze. No begging.
Not now. He had already asked. Ronan had already answered.
Elliot turned. Held his hands behind his back.
Vance cuffed him. The metal felt different this time.
Still cold. Less terrifying. Ronan remained beside him until the officer moved Elliot toward the hallway.
Then Elliot looked back. Ronan was still there.
Of course. Saint had been wrong about one thing from the beginning.
Ronan did change Elliot. Not because love made Elliot harmless.
Not because desire erased violence. Not because Ronan somehow fixed what was wrong with him.
Ronan changed him because for the first time, Elliot wanted something more difficult than control.
He wanted to deserve the person who kept choosing him.
And Elliot had no idea whether a man with five bodies behind him could ever do that. But for Ronan? He wanted to try.