Chapter 11
Chapter
Eleven
A couple days ago, Nate was floating on air. That was what kissing the woman of your dreams did to a guy.
Right now, he was trudging through mud that was as thick as syrup on his morning run, wondering why he’d thought this was a good idea when he’d texted his brother last night.
“Are we going for a personal record today?” his brother asked between puffs of breath he wasn’t quite catching. Eric usually accompanied his brother on a run the morning of the full moon to help his brother burn off some of the excess energy leading up to the evening. Only, this time, he needed a distraction from Stella.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I…I think you do.” Eric stopped on the path, bending over with both hands on his knees as he sucked in as much air as he could. “You…you never run this fast.”
Nate eased up his pace. “Sometimes I do.”
“It’s Stella.”
Nate’s head snapped from side to side. “Where?” Save for the birds whose chirping he now couldn’t hear over his suddenly pounding heart from the mention of her name, they were the only living things in the vicinity.
A smile crept up Eric’s face, and right then, Nate knew he’d been figured out. “I knew it.”
“Knew what?” Nate asked with a nonchalance he fought like heck to convey.
“I knew there was something going on between the two of you. And this morning, it’s written all over your face.”
“Well, yeah…of course. We’ve been dating.”
“That’s right.” Eric flapped his hand, and Nate didn’t know why, but there was something about his tilted head and the way his eyes narrowed that he didn’t like. “How long have you two crazy kids been together now?”
“Oh, uh…a, um…couple weeks now, I’d say.”
“Funny.” Eric took a step closer and pursed his lips in thought. “Because Stella told Lucy that you two had been together since the end of summer.”
“Really?” he squeaked an octave higher than he thought his voice possible of reaching. “Guess it’s true what they say: time sure does fly when you’re having fun.”
“They also say that my brother is full of crap and just might be the worst liar in history.”
“Who says that?”
“People,” Eric said with a shrug. “So, are you gonna tell me the truth, or are you gonna make me say it?”
He knew his brother had him. The jig was finally up, though the smirk on his face said it had never really begun.
“She and I faked a relationship to get you all off our backs.”
“Nate, Nate, Nate.” His brother shook his head as he walked a few steps, the sound of tiny twigs snapping under his running shoes. “You’re still going to lie to me?”
“I’m not. We really aren’t together.”
“So, you’ve just been kissing to pass the time?”
“How did you know we’ve been kissing?”
Eric chuckled softly as he patted his brother twice on the shoulder. “Didn’t until just now.”
Nate sucked in a deep breath to keep himself from smacking his brother upside the head. Eric may have been the biggest knucklehead, but he was a knucklehead whose advice he needed right now. He sat on the trunk of a fallen tree, running his hands through his sweat-dampened hair.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Eric sat down next to him. “Well, when I kiss a woman?—”
This time, Nate couldn’t stop himself from whacking his brother. But he deserved it. “You’re an idiot, by the way. And that’s not what I’m talking about.”
“I know. I know,” he said with a laugh. “Seriously, though…what’s going on? Hit me.”
Nate cocked a brow. “Don’t tempt me.”
He took a second to gather his thoughts. But like the amber-colored leaves that swirled at their feet in the gentle breeze, they were all over the place.
“Things with Lucy…they’re good, yeah?”
Eric smiled so wide all his teeth were on display. “They’re great.”
“And she’s okay with the whole werewolf thing?”
“Of course. I mean, I rarely shift anymore, but she chased me down before that was the case.”
Nate remembered that night, when Lucy had ridden a four-wheeler into the woods and chased his brother down when he was on the verge of shifting. He’d seen it all—her pinning him to the ground, her kissing him…him not shifting.
“She accepted you for who you are.” The words floated out of his mouth on a whisper, more a thought he hadn’t meant to articulate than a statement of fact for his brother to hear. The truth was, that was the night he realized the woman he’d thought was the love of his life hadn’t really loved him at all. “I told Stella last night.”
Eric nodded. “And how did it go?”
A dry chuckle rumbled in Nate’s chest. “A lot better than when I told Carrie.” That was the understatement of the century, especially since Stella hadn’t grabbed a butcher’s knife and chased him out of town.
“And why do you think that is?”
He wasn’t sure how to answer that. Stella was so different than anyone he’d ever known. She was the kindest person on the planet, so it made sense that she’d been so accepting. But deep down, he hoped it meant something else. Something more. Something he didn’t want to admit out loud because he’d had his heart broken by someone so badly in the past he couldn’t imagine how it would feel if she didn’t feel the same.
“I’m not sure.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?” Nate hadn’t wanted his brother to dig too deep into his relationship—or whatever this was—but he thought he’d have more to say than that.
“Yep.” He leaned back, crossed his feet at the ankles, and pulled both hands behind his head, which looked ridiculous considering he was sitting on a log and not a lounge chair. “I’m just going to sit here for however long it takes until you admit that you’re starting to fall for her. Though, keep in mind that I’m getting married tomorrow, so try not to take too long, eh?”
“Joke’s on you, then.” Nate stood from the makeshift bench and dug his toe into the ground. “Because I’ve already fallen.”
Eric shot up like he’d been sunbathing on the beach and someone had just thrown a bucket of water on him. “Are you serious?”
“Dead. Which is ironic, given the circumstances.” He waved a hand up and down the front half of his body as proof. In a matter of hours, he’d be unrecognizable. “Would you have still stayed with Lucy, you know, if you hadn’t been cured? If the love spell hadn’t worked?”
“Ah, I don’t think I had much of a choice.”
“Because you were so crazy about her?”
“And because I’m pretty sure she would have chased me down no matter where I tried to hide.” They both chuckled because they knew it was the truth. For as quiet and timid as Lucy was, there was a fierceness to her that popped out every now and then.
“You wouldn’t have worried about…hurting her?”
“I mean...” Eric ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I figured if anything happened, I could fix it.”
“That’s what…” Nate blew out a long breath that held with it the frustration he’d been holding. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” Though he’d never hurt anyone when he’d shifted, there was always a chance. And there was nothing he could do if that happened. Not like his brother, who’d been gifted the power to heal people other than himself.
“You know I’m here for you, Nate. Just like I’ve always been.”
“I know.” Nate looked at his brother, the soon-to-be-married man he’d known his whole life, and a ping of sadness mixed with the happiness he felt over his upcoming nuptials. “It’s just not quite the same anymore.”
“No, but I’ll still be around. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t let you hurt anyone again.”
In an instant, the breeze stilled. Sweat prickled along Nate’s neck, though his body turned eerily cold. He turned his head slowly toward his brother. “What do you mean you won’t let me hurt someone again ?”
“Oh, I mean…” Eric crossed and uncrossed his legs as he hemmed and hawed. “I didn’t say?—”
“Stop!” Nate shouted, raising his hand. Blood whooshed in his ears as his chest rose and fell in rapid succession. And suddenly, that chill he felt a second ago melted with the heat that coursed throughout his body. He rubbed his temples, like soothing the ache would keep his head from exploding. “You said again . Like I’ve hurt someone before.”
Eric walked toward his brother, both hands up in front of him like he was trying to calm him down. “There’s nothing to worry about. Everything’s fine, Nate.”
“Everything’s not fine!” he roared in a voice that mimicked thunder, sending any birds in the trees as far as their little wings could take them. “Who have I...how have I? This can’t be happening.”
“Okay, before you start to spiral, you’ve never killed anyone. So, just take a deep breath and relax.”
“Relax?!” This time, he swore the ground shook with his growl. “How is this possible? Why haven’t you ever told me?” And then a thought hit him. He never remembered anything from the time he shifted. Neither did his brother. At least, that was what he’d claimed. In fact, the only evidence of any harm when they shifted back was the few scattered remains of rodents they’d feasted on, the only things accessible to them so deep in the woods. “How do you even know?”
Eric sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes dancing to any other focal point in the woods than his own brother standing in front of him. “What I’m about to tell you… I need you to just listen. Try to understand where I’m coming from, okay? Whatever I say, it doesn’t change anything, alright?”
Nate nodded, not because he was agreeing but because he had a feeling his brother wouldn’t continue if he didn’t. Acid swirled in his stomach, fighting its way up his body, because somehow he knew whatever his brother was about to say would change everything.
“You know how when we shift back into humans, I’m always the first to do so?”
He nodded again, not sure where he was headed with this.
“I don’t know why, but there’s some part of me that, although I don’t remember where I am or what’s going on while I’m a werewolf, I quickly snap back into my human form to…”
“To what? Just say it!”
“To heal whatever or whoever you’ve attacked.”
The air in Nate’s lungs took on the consistency of concrete, all his breath ceasing to move in or out. It was all too much. And yet, not enough. Because he needed to know more. He had to know more.
“I’ve never lost anyone, if that helps.”
Nate bent in half, his arms on his knees the only thing keeping his body upright, keeping him from crumbling on the ground. “But…but why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you never tell me?”
Eric shrugged. “Look, I figured it was fine because I could handle it. I was always with you on the nights of the full moon. What you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you, and the people you’d hurt, I’d fixed.”
“But you don’t shift anymore.”
“Yeah, but I’m?—”
“Still watching over me and keeping tabs on my victims.” The words tasted like poison on his lips. And that was what he deserved—poison. Because he was the monster everyone said he was. He was deserving of the title, the stereotype, the people chasing him out of town… “Carrie.”
Eric tipped his head back, staring at the sky, taking a deep breath before he looked at Nate again. His rounded eyes and slackened expression said without words everything Nate had feared since he’d fallen for a human the first time.
“I attacked her,” Nate whispered. It wasn’t a question. No, he didn’t need it to be one, because he already knew the answer.
“After the way she treated you when she found out you were a werewolf, I kinda understood your rage in that instance. I mean, she tried to kill you.”
“That’s no excuse!” Nate growled. “She didn’t love me, but I loved her, and…”
“Don’t even think it.”
“And it still didn’t matter. I still tried to kill her.”
“But maybe that was a one-time thing,” Eric blurted because he knew his brother. He knew where his thoughts were headed.
“And what if it wasn’t?”
“You can’t just walk away from Stella.”
“I really don’t have a choice, do I? There’s no proof the love spell works for everyone. Or maybe it would work for me, but it’s like I’ve always said—no one can truly love a monster.”
“But I’m a monster too.”
“No.” Nate slowly shook his head as he brought a hand to his brother’s shoulder. Looking into eyes he’d always thought they shared, he realized here was one stark difference: his were the eyes of a killer. “You’re a hero.”
Here, he’d always deemed himself the protector, the big brother who imparted wisdom and kept them—and everyone around them—safe. Boy, had he been wrong.
“What does this mean? Are you going to leave?”
“I’m not sure.” He’d held on to so much hope that he could live a life like his brother. That he could coexist with humans in a way he wouldn’t have believed unless he’d seen it firsthand. That he could be with the woman he loved, because he really did love her. And he’d thought for a beat that she loved him too. But somehow, he knew once the dust had settled, once she’d had time to think it over, she’d realize that he truly was a monster. Just like he’d told her. And as much as he didn’t want the past to dictate his future, he couldn’t deny what was staring him in the face in the present.
He’d made a vow to show up for her. But maybe that didn’t necessarily mean he had to be around her.
He felt the rage pulsing behind his eyes, a steady thrumming of pain. He wiped away a tear from his stupid face. The one that would, in just a few moments’ time, look less like the man he wanted to be and the terror he truly was.
Any moment, he was going to shift. He just knew it. “I can’t… I need to get out of here.”
“You’re just going to run away?”
“No!” Nate shouted, and it reverberated through the woods. “I’m going to do the only thing I’m capable of…protecting people. And if I don’t get out of here soon…you’re going to have to clean up my mess—again, apparently.”
“Nate, just stop?—”
But his words died in the wind as Nate ran into the woods, waiting for the inevitable: him changing into the monster he knew he truly was.
“Enjoying the view?”
Stella blinked, only now realizing she was facing a large window in her cousin’s suite and that she didn’t have a clue what she’d been looking at.
“Of course,” she answered her cousin, placing two bottles of nail polish on the end table with the others. “Beautiful day out there.”
It wasn’t. Thick clouds had moved into the area in the past few hours, now covering what had been a stunning blue sky early this morning. It was like the universe knew what was happening tonight and wanted to do its part to contribute to the moodiness.
Stella had fallen into a deep sleep despite the restlessness she’d felt when she’d first curled into her bed. Making out with a werewolf for an evening would do that to a girl, she guessed.
Lucy joined her cousin next to the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the giant lake, the park’s centerpiece. “Are we gonna talk about what’s going on, or…”
Her eyes stayed glued to the nail polish containers. They didn’t need more rearranging, but lining them up in a new way couldn’t hurt, right? Anything was better than looking her cousin in the eye and letting her read everything swirling in her mind. No, that place was a cave filled with guilt from lying about their relationship, shock from what Nate had told her last night, and worry that he hadn’t believed her when she said she wasn’t going to leave him.
Stella plastered on her biggest and brightest smile, knowing Lucy would see right through it. But if she didn’t want to rearrange the bottles of polish a third time, what other choice did she have? “What do you want to talk about? It’s your day!”
“ Tomorrow is my day. Today is a day to get my nails done. So, it’s the perfect opportunity to chat if you’d like to discuss hot werewolves and the women who love to kiss them.”
A bottle of polish she didn’t even realize she was holding slipped through her hands, defying all odds by not bursting into a hot-pink, glassy mess. “What did you just say?”
Lucy shrugged. “I think you heard me just fine.” There was a smugness to her smile that didn’t jive with her rounded, sympathetic eyes.
“How did you…”
“Nate talked to me earlier. Told me that he’d told you and asked me to make sure you were okay. That you had someone you could talk to about all of this.”
There he was, protecting her again, making sure she was taken care of even if he couldn’t be the one to do it.
“Wait, is Eric…?” Why hadn’t she put the pieces together? “Eric’s a werewolf too?”
“Well, he was . Though, he could still shift, but he hasn’t since we’ve been together.”
Stella rubbed her head, certain that one more piece of information like this was going to make it explode. “So, he’s like half a werewolf? I’m not sure I’m following.”
“Come here,” Lucy said, taking her cousin’s hand and leading her to the burgundy couch facing the window. As they sank into it, Stella secretly wished it would swallow her whole, give her a minute or two before someone dropped another bomb on her. “Eric was just as much a werewolf as Nate is. But I fell in love with him as a human. He thought he could save me by running away.”
“Is that what happened after Fright Night last year?”
“Yep,” Lucy said with a nod. “He thought he could escape my love.” She chuckled. “Actually, he didn’t think the love spell worked, since it hadn’t for Nate.”
“The love spell?” Stella needed a notebook to keep all this info straight.
“There was a legend that stated a werewolf could be healed by true love. That if someone truly loved them, they’d no longer shift with the full moon. But Nate had fallen for a woman years back, and even though she’d claimed to love him…”
“He still shifted.”
“Yep. So, you could see why Eric had a hard time believing he wouldn’t shift and eat me alive. But Eric must be one of the lucky ones. It apparently doesn’t work for every werewolf. Too bad Nate found out the hard way.”
“Or else she didn’t love him like—” Stella bit her tongue. How was she going to finish that sentence? That his ex hadn’t loved him like she did? That was ridiculous. She didn’t love him, did she?
Stella stared out the window again, this time not caring about the glazed over expression she wore. Memories of the past week flashed in her mind. All the ways he’d shown up for her, dressing up like a scarecrow, supporting her on the aerial course, rushing to follow her out of the yoga studio.
And then her brain rewound to memories from even further back. Times like when she’d found Goldfish crackers at her station when she’d been so busy she missed her lunch break. Or when he thought no one was looking and slipped a twenty from his wallet into the register after he’d told a customer good luck on his upcoming interview andthat he wouldn’t pay for a haircut until he was employed again.
The tingles that sprang to life every time she so much as got a smile from him multiplied tenfold, a jolt to her system more powerful than the espressos she downed during a twelve-hour day at the salon.
Lucy nudged her arm. “You still with me?”
“Yes.” But she shouldn’t have been. She needed to find Nate. For all the times he’d been there for her, she owed him this. But not before she did her cousin’s nails. Because this was her weekend. Besides, if she really wanted to show up for him, she still had time.
She cleared her throat. “What do you say we get you some photo-ready nails, eh?”
Lucy placed a soft hand on hers. “Just be careful, okay?”
For the first time, Stella saw a cloud of something other than her loved-up, giddy self she’d been throughout this conversation.
“I will,” she responded, knowing it was what would make her cousin happy and not because she needed to. She knew with every fiber in her body that Nate would never hurt her.