Chapter 20 #2
Coach Hoffman smiled warmly and leaned his elbows on his desk, setting the ball down, only to roll it back and forth under his hand.
“I probably surprised you. You know, I caught a few lucky breaks, but the best one was meeting my wife. I was a little younger than Ethan and living high on being a soccer star and traveling all over the world. That kind of life isn’t very grounding.
In fact, it’s the opposite. Ethan has good support from his family, so he’s handled it better than some.
Before I heard the rumors about you two, I wondered what was up with him.
I chalked it up to his brush with the law and trying to lay low.
In hindsight, I think it was you. Otherwise, he’d have joked daily about the hardship of staying away from the bars.
He hasn’t complained once, and he’s calmer and more focused than usual.
Given that he’s one of the best defenders I have, that’s saying something.
My point is a good relationship is a good thing.
I still miss my wife to this day. So, in sum, I understand you feel the need to apologize for what happened, but there’s an upside to everything. ”
I managed to nod, but the wheels in my brain were stuck on his comment that he thought Ethan loved me.
I don’t know what else we said over the next few minutes.
My habits of polite conversation were ingrained enough that I got through it.
I was saved by someone else knocking at Coach Hoffman’s door.
I said goodbye and walked back down the long hallway.
None of this was supposed to have happened.
It terrified me to think about it, but just now I couldn’t stop.
I hadn’t ever expected to fall in love. With anyone.
Much less with a man like Ethan. He was so much more than his public image.
My mind spun back to the first few times I met him.
His sly, teasing manner, his cocky attitude, his insouciance so powerful it was as if he did it just to get under my skin.
He was still that man, yet I now knew him to be funny and big-hearted.
He spoke often of his family, not to make a point, but more in passing.
After we’d had sex without a condom for the first time—in my office!
—he’d informed me later that night over takeout that his oldest sister had threatened him with bodily harm if he wasn’t respectful and didn’t always use a condom.
He’d declared he planned to call her about it, and I begged him not to.
Just thinking about it now made my cheeks hot and my heart clench as I walked to my office in the chilly drizzle.
I didn’t know if what I felt for him was love, but it felt an awful lot like what I imagined it would.
My own parents were still married. They’d moved to a small town in Oregon after my father retired from his prestigious law practice.
He still practiced law, but on a much smaller scale.
My mother had been his paralegal for as long as I could remember.
They’d met in law school, and she’d finished up her paralegal coursework while she was pregnant with me.
I shook my head thinking about them. For years, they’d been on me to relax and stop working so hard.
Yet, they’d modeled that kind of life for me.
Since they worked together, they’d never had to curtail work to spend time with each other.
I walked down the hallway to my office, wondering when I’d see Ethan again.
He was a tad grumpy about me setting him up with another attorney.
As often as we’d been seeing each other, we never planned ahead.
I wanted to see him tonight and wondered if he had a game.
Without pausing to think, I pulled out my phone and texted him.
What are you doing tonight?
Have a game. Please come.
I was smiling at the phone and then burst out laughing at his next text.
I meant that in more ways than one. ;)
The door to my office opened, and Jana poked her head around the door.
“What the hell are you laughing at?” she asked with a grin.
I flushed and quickly put my phone away. “Nothing,” I replied as I walked past her into the office.
She closed the door behind us. “Okay, what’s up?” she asked as she walked by me and leaned her hips on her desk.
Much as I didn’t want to embarrass myself, if there was anyone who could keep me sensible, it was Jana.
My lack of experience with anything resembling a serious relationship wasn’t helping me.
While a part of me was on cloud nine after what Coach Hoffman said about Ethan, a big part of me was worried.
I hadn’t meant to put my professional reputation in jeopardy, but that was the easy part.
I’d already resolved it. If things continued with Ethan and it became public knowledge we were seeing each other, there might be some comments about the fact I had represented him at one point.
The part that had no answer was what to do about how I felt about him and what he might want.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I ignored it. It kept vibrating.
Jana’s eyes flicked to my jacket pocket and back up. I felt my cheeks get hot again.
“Someone wants to chat. Maybe you should check on that,” she said with a sly grin.
Because I knew it was Ethan, and I couldn’t resist, I pulled my phone out and looked down at the screen. One look had heat rolling through me and my channel throbbing.
Did I make you blush, luv? Excellent. My next goal is to make you wet. Please come to the game tonight. I’ve already asked Olivia and Harper to save a seat for you. Tell me you’ll be there.
I didn’t even think about saying no.
I’ll be there.
I couldn’t bring myself to reply to his other comments. Before I managed to slide my phone back in my pocket, it buzzed in my hand.
Excellent. Wear that flippy skirt and no panties.
Butterflies rioted in my belly, and my face got so hot, I needed something to cool me down.
Since when do you tell me what to wear?
The more uptight you get, the more I like it.
Oh. My. God. He was incorrigible.
Fine. I might or might not wear that skirt. I’ll definitely wear panties, so you can just forget that right now.
All I got in return was a wink emoticon. I was caught between burning desire and a goofy joy.
I’d been so absorbed in texting Ethan, I forgot I was standing beside Jana. When I looked up, she wagged her fingers at me. I blushed even harder.
“Be right back,” I said before hurrying into the small restroom off the reception area.
I locked the door behind me and splashed cold water on my face and wrists.
Sweet hell. Ethan was going to make me crazy.
He already had. I could feel the moisture between my thighs.
I was so hot and bothered, I contemplated whether I should take care of matters right now.
The second that thought entered my mind, I shook my head sharply.
I could not masturbate here. I had more control than that.
Another splash of cold water on my face, and I held my wrists under the icy water for long enough I started to get cold.
That put a damper on the need galloping through me.
By the time, I returned to the reception area, Jana was behind her desk typing away.
I sat down across from her and waited until she looked my way. “Ethan’s driving me crazy, and I don’t know what to do,” I blurted out.
One thing I loved about Jana was her focus. The second I spoke, she clicked her computer screen off and turned all of her attention to me. “Good crazy or bad crazy?” she asked.
“I don’t know the difference.”
She cocked her head to the side and eyed me.
“Good crazy is when everything is so good it scares you. But it all feels good and nothing sneaky is going on. Bad crazy is when you’re letting things keep going, but it doesn’t feel good all the time, and the other person is playing games and making you want to pull your hair out.
The worst kind is when you think it’s good crazy, but then it turns into bad crazy.
I’m very familiar with that one.” She rolled her eyes and shrugged.
“Anyway, which kind of crazy is it? I have a pretty good guess.”
“Good crazy,” I said, wishing I could will the heat away from creeping up my neck. Not for the first time, I wished my skin wasn’t so fair.
Jana smiled softly. “That’s what I guessed. I like Ethan. My gut tells me he’s not the game playing kind of guy. He’s too straightforward for that. Anyway, what do you mean you don’t know what to do?”
I threw my hands up. “Just that. What do I do? I didn’t… Ugh.” I sighed and fiddled with the elastic cord on the corner of my hood.
Jana eyed me for a long minute, her gaze thoughtful.
“I’ll admit when I pushed you to dive in with him, I figured you’d finally lose your virginity—and thank fucking God you did—but I thought it would be short-lived.
There’s more to Ethan than meets the eye.
He’s coasted on his rep as a player, but he’s actually a nice guy.
I figured that out quick, but plenty of nice guys don’t want much more than a little fun. He really likes you though.”
I kept twirling the elastic cord around my finger and snapping it lightly. “So what do I do?”
Jana sighed and leaned on her elbows, resting her chin in her hand. “Seeing as it’s pretty obvious you like him, why don’t you relax and enjoy it?”
“Because I don’t know how to do that! It all feels like more than I planned on, and I don’t know what to do. I like to know what’s going to happen,” I said, my words trailing into a mutter.
Jana grinned. “You are definitely a planner. You can’t plan love, girl.”
My heart gave a swift kick, almost knocking my breath from me. Between Coach Hoffman throwing the word love out and now Jana, I didn’t know what to think.
“I’m not so sure we should be talking about love just yet.”
“No, you’re afraid to talk about love,” she countered.
When I stared back at her, wishing I could will away the churning in my stomach, she stopped grinning and took a breath.
“What I’m getting at is you can’t plan emotions. If someone means a lot to you, don’t run from it because you’re afraid of what might go wrong. When I see the way Ethan looks at you, I’m pretty sure you’re not alone.”
She paused and looked over at me. “Stop it, stop being anxious over something you’re making up. You like Ethan, he likes you. Enjoy it. When do you see him again?” she asked, her tone practical.
Jana knew me well, and she knew if I got stuck in a mental rut, it wouldn’t be good. Focusing on something concrete nudged me out of the wheels spinning in my mind.
“I told him I’d go to his game tonight.”
She grinned. “Perfect. You can be his personal cheerleader.”
“I don’t think they have cheerleaders,” I muttered, fighting the flush creeping up my cheeks again.
“Exactly. That’s why it’s important for you to be there. Now go get to work. Mark Smithson called again, and I told him you’d be tied up until forever. You’d better refer him to someone else fast, or I might tell him to go to hell.”
She effectively took my focus off of Ethan. “Please don’t do that. I already asked Dan Connors if he’d take the case if I referred him. I ran into him at the courthouse yesterday. Dan’s got more clout than me around here, so I’m sure Mark will be happy with that. I’ll call his receptionist today.”
Jana spun in her chair and clicked her computer screen back on. “How about you do that right away, so I don’t have to listen to his smarmy voice again?”
“On it!”
I left her to whatever she was working on and made my way into my office. When I took my phone out of my jacket when I hung it up, I realized I hadn’t noticed Ethan’s last text.
I don’t know why you insist on wearing panties when they’ll get wet anyway. Save yourself the bother luv.
All it took was that little tease, and need throbbed between my thighs again. I could feel the damp silk and almost moaned.