Chapter 13 #2
I think I hurt her when she heard me talking to Gray.
“You’re staring at me,” Agnes pointed out.
What the hell else did he want to see? The coffee pot? The fridge? No, he’d much rather keep his gaze on her. I get lost in her eyes.
“You’re also, um, caressing my hand.”
He was. Even as he held her hand under the spray of cool water, he was running his fingers lightly along her palm. “Why did you pick me?” He seriously needed to know. “Was it just because you wanted to fuck me so I’d help you get your vengeance?”
“Don’t remember asking for any sort of vengeance help before we commenced fucking.” She wet her lips.
He would be kissing those lips. Soon. His head began to dip more toward her.
“I don’t remember asking for anything from you when we fucked, either. I wasn’t using my body as some sort of bartering tool. That’s pretty insulting to suggest, Cass.”
“I tend to be an insulting guy.”
“And one who freaks out over mild coffee burns.”
He had to know. “Why did you fuck me?”
Her breath caught. He didn’t think she was going to answer him. Fine, probably hadn’t been the most tactful question to ever ask but—
“Because I’d been in cold storage since Max died. You were the first person who ever made the ice around me melt.” She tugged again. “Happy now?”
He didn’t let her go, and he was not happy.
In fact, Cass wasn’t sure he could remember the last time that he’d actually been happy.
But he did feel something, all right. Desire.
Need. Lust. The first person who ever made the ice around me melt.
“You say shit like that…and you expect me not to fuck you here and now?”
Agnes sucked in a breath. “Didn’t know that option was on the table.”
“I want you on the table.” The kitchen table was about three feet away. He would love to have her on it. Or against the wall. Or on the floor. Anywhere he could get her would be great, thanks.
Her gaze slanted toward the table.
Hell, why not just be honest? What did he have to lose?
“I want you spread wide open, my dick deep in you, and I want you, coming, moaning my name.” Because maybe he’d felt like he was in cold storage, too—already dead, just going through the motions of living—until a wild redhead had marched up to him in a bar that she should never have entered.
When she’d come to him, she’d changed both of their lives.
Agnes cleared her throat. “I, um, came in here for coffee. I didn’t realize that sex on the kitchen table was part of the morning routine.”
That visual was about to make him insane.
His dick pressed hard to the zipper of his jeans.
“Thought maybe I’d try giving you some truths.
You know, seeing as how all I do is lie…
but you’re my partner now. We’re tied together in this nightmare.
” They were, for better or worse. “Might as well be married,” he muttered.
Her eyes widened. “Did you just propose to me?”
Don’t think of that. Don’t think of a life with her.
A future. Close the door on that image. Lock it away because it will never happen.
“That life isn’t for me.” Another truth.
“I fucked you endlessly that night, should have gotten my fill.” The water kept running onto her hand.
“I didn’t. I want to fuck you again and again. ”
She swallowed.
“But that’s dangerous. Wanting you so much, so badly, is dangerous.
Gray is always preaching about emotional involvements wrecking his cases.
People go undercover. Lines blur. And mistakes happen.
” He couldn’t afford to let anything happen to her.
“But I can fuck, and I can keep my emotions separate.” A deliberate pause. “Can you?”
“I don’t…” She shook her head even as she rose on her tiptoes. “Screw it. Just kiss me.”
He did. Because her mouth was right there.
Because he’d fantasized about her ever since The Bottomless Pit.
Because he hadn’t immediately fallen asleep the night before.
He’d watched over her. Pulled in her sexy scent.
Yearned for her. Wanted her. He’d been a gentleman all night as they’d been in that bed together, and need had nearly wrecked him.
Then, when he’d woken up, he’d still wanted her. Even as she’d felt betrayed by him.
His mouth pressed to hers. Not a hard, demanding kiss, though that was what he wanted.
He wanted to drive his tongue past her lips and taste and take until she belonged to him completely.
Until they both forgot about the monsters in the world and the only thing that mattered was the wild need that they felt for each other.
Her left hand—not the hand she’d burned—pressed to his chest as she pulled back. “You taste minty.” Husky words.
“So do you.” He’d used the toothbrush in the spare bathroom. Had he planned to kiss her? Hell, yes. And he’d taken the damn time to use that toothpaste.
“Kiss me again,” she whispered. “Even if it means nothing.”
He did. But it meant something. It meant far more than he could ever tell her.
Far more than she would ever know. Her lips parted even more for him.
His tongue swept inside, and he tasted every bit of her goodness.
She pressed closer. Her body so warm and tempting.
He could pick her up. He could put her on that table. Strip her.
Pound into her. Send them both careening into an avalanche of body-quaking pleasure.
She moaned, and he swallowed the sound. Drank it up so greedily. He loved the sounds that she made for him. Loved the way she responded. Nothing held back. Passion. Desire at one hundred miles an hour. They touched, and they both ignited.
Fire whipped through his blood. He wanted to touch and taste and claim every single inch of her. He wanted to own her. Brand her. Mark her.
Oh, fuck, I forgot about that…
He stiffened.
And she…
She felt it. Because she immediately pulled back, too. “What’s wrong?” Then, her eyes widened. “Why am I even asking? Everything is wrong. I—let me go.”
He did. Reluctantly. With his jaw locked tight and her taste still on his tongue.
I want her on the table. Against the wall.
I will have her everywhere, and she will scream for me.
“My hand is fine.” She turned off the water he’d left on. “I just…I’m not here to fuck you senseless.”
“What a crying shame.”
Red stained her cheeks. “I’m here because…you are working with Gray. I’m working with Gray. You are going to brief me on everything. You’re going to tell me all about your undercover mission. You’re not going to fuck me in order to get me off track.”
Laughter boomed from him. And maybe that was good. If he was laughing, then he wasn’t grabbing her and pulling her back against him.
A faint furrow appeared between her brows. “You have a nice laugh.”
He hadn’t actually laughed in…Shit, I can’t remember when.
“I like it.” Her head tilted to the left. “But I don’t like that you’re laughing at me.”
His laughter died away. “Sorry, princess.” He was. Kinda. “But fucking you to get you off track? Nah. Not my plan. I just fuck you purely for the pleasure of the event.”
The red in her cheeks deepened. She grabbed a fresh mug. Reached for the coffee pot again.
He was on her in an instant. “Let me.” His fingers curled over hers. Need—surging desire—still pulsed through him.
Her head dipped down as she looked at their fingers. His hand swallowed hers.
“You confuse me,” she whispered. “The way I feel when I’m with you confuses me, too. I wish you would just be honest with me.”
He was trying. Had she missed the whole truths part moments before?
“You’re working with Gray. You’re not a villain. You are not a monster. Just tell me. Tell me everything because I can’t walk in the dark with you.”
Oh, baby, I’m afraid that is exactly what you are doing…walking in the dark with me. And he wasn’t sure he could let her out of the darkness.
“In an undercover mission, you have to trust your partner completely. I need to know the real you.” Her head lifted. Those incredible eyes locked on his and tried to steal his sanity away.
“You don’t want to know the real me.” He reached out. Took the pot of coffee and poured the very, very dark and thick liquid in the mug for her. Only three-fourths full. No way did he want her burned again. Then he stepped back. One step, two.
She turned and put her back to the counter as she faced off against him. She brought the mug of coffee to her lips and lightly blew over the steaming liquid. “Try me.”
Okay. Fine. “I’m not an undercover Fed. You were right before, though, about the other shit I’ve done.
I’ve been a criminal since I was a teen.
Started in gangs. Underground fighting.” A roll of one shoulder.
“Definitely did your profiling due diligence on that one. I loved the hell out of fighting. Also realized it was one helluva way to make some cash.”
“That’s why you were so good at The Bottomless Pit. You’ve had plenty of fighting experience.” She blew on the coffee again.
She had beautiful lips. I love it when she blows me.
Yeah, fuck, he had problems. Mainly, the lust he felt for her was getting in his way.
By getting in his way—obsessing me. Consuming me.
“I had goals in mind, every step of the way. Gray tried to stop me. Hell, he wanted me to join the Marines like he did back in the day. Wanted me to get the hell out of the world he could see sucking me under.” His lips twisted.
“Semper Fi,” he murmured. “That’s Gray. Through and through. ”
“Always faithful,” she whispered as she cradled her coffee.
Yeah, that motto described Gray perfectly. Even when he should have turned his back on Cass, he hadn’t.
“That’s not you?” she asked. “That’s not who you are?”
Hell, no.
She began to lift the coffee to her lips.
“I’m resolute.” He was. “Determined.” Those were nice ways of describing him.
The not-so-nice ways? “Bloodthirsty. Relentless. You were actually right before, when you were telling me how you’d profiled me.
That I was an eye-for-an-eye type. I am.
” She had to understand all of him. “You take from me, then I take from you, only I take everything. I entered this madness with my eyes wide open. I knew the risk. I knew the danger. I knew I’d lose every bit of my soul.
But I had to do it. There were goals I needed to reach. ”
“What were those goals?” Her head angled closer to the mug.
Tell her. You can’t hold back. Tell her.
“Cass?”
“My goals.” He rolled back his shoulder. “Killing my uncle.” Flat. “And killing my father. I’m happy to say that both goals have been achieved.”
Agnes spat out the coffee that she’d just put in her mouth.
Right. Yeah, he’d figured that might be her response.
“You’re staring straight at a monster, sweetheart.” He sent her a cold smile. “You fucked one, too.”