Chapter Eight
Georgiana
That night, after finally getting rid of their mother, Georgiana and Cecily sat with Mrs. Honeycutt and Mrs. Ellsworth in the kitchen. Both sisters had been quiet during supper. She couldn’t speak for Cecily, but Georgiana felt completely drained by her mother’s presence.
They’d all helped clear the table and assisted Mrs. Honeycutt in cleaning up. Someday soon, this would be a full working kitchen with maids to help the head cook, but for now the four women worked together to do whatever needed doing.
After supper, James had left them to enjoy their tea and biscuits.
The moment James had left, Georgiana had started missing him.
She wished he’d asked her to join him upstairs.
Ridiculous, she told herself. She would see him first thing in the morning.
Still, she was distracted, thinking about what he was doing upstairs alone.
In his newly decorated bedchambers, undressing for the night.
Her mind conjured the image of his fingers working the buttons of his waistcoat, sliding his shirt from his broad shoulders.
Perhaps he was having a glass of brandy while reading by the fire, firelight playing across his bare chest—
“Georgie?” Cecily’s voice cut through her reverie. “Mrs. Honeycutt asked if you wanted more tea.”
Heat flooded Georgiana’s cheeks. “Oh, yes. Thank you.” She forced herself to focus on the women around the table, grateful for the dim lighting that might hide her blush.
It was a cozy scene, with the warm fire crackling in the hearth and good company around the table. But Georgiana’s gaze kept drifting toward the ceiling, as if she could see through the floorboards to where James might be moving about his room.
Cecily had spent much of the afternoon looking at the glasshouse in one of the gardens where they had once grown vegetables and fruits for the manor.
Ben had made suggestions for how to bring it back to life, and Cecily had not been able to contain her excitement as she described the plans during supper.
James had been clearly pleased with the ideas and had promised Cecily a few workers to create her vision.
“You’re distracted tonight,” Cecily observed, studying her sister’s face. “More than usual.”
“Am I?” Georgiana attempted a light laugh. “I suppose I’m tired.”
“Mmm.” Cecily’s knowing look suggested she wasn’t fooled. “Tired from Mother.”
“Yes, I suppose so.” Georgiana and Cecily exchanged a knowing glance. No one understood the trial that was Lady Linley more than the two sisters.
Georgiana had adored her little sister from the moment she was born.
She’d been a little mother to her, even though there were only four years difference in age between them.
With a mother like Lavinia, it had been left to Georgiana to make sure Cecily felt loved and cared for.
They were unusually close, even now that they were grown.
But that closeness meant her sister could untangle her secrets as easily as unknotting embroidery thread.
And, she, in turn could do the same with Cecily.
Georgiana had never seen her sister so engaged or enamored with a project as she was about the gardens. She had spent evenings drafting her ideas on paper. James had found her a book in the library about plants, which she had pored over to learn what she could.
Georgiana had assumed Cecily would be an excellent assistant, but the more they worked together, the more impressed she became. Her little sister was a woman of many talents.
“What I wouldn’t do for a good wash.” Cecily ran a hand through her tangled curls. “I think I’ve still got half the garden soil hiding in here.”
“I would love one too,” Georgiana said. “Mother may have had a valid point about my appearance.”
“Nonsense. You girls are beautiful,” Mrs. Ellsworth said, sounding loyal.
“I can heat water for you,” Mrs. Honeycutt said. “We have a tub in the scullery. You can take turns.”
Mrs. Ellsworth, smoothing down her apron, gave a fond smile. “With your permission, I’ll assist you. I used to be a lady’s maid back before I was promoted to head housekeeper. I can still remember how to wash and fix a lady’s hair.”
Georgiana raised a brow. “Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?”
“Not at all,” Mrs. Ellsworth said. “It will be my pleasure.”
Cecily jumped to her feet. “I’ll get our nightgowns to change into afterward. Georgie, you can go first, since you’re the oldest. That’s how we always did it at home, remember?”
After Mrs. Honeycutt and Mrs. Ellsworth had filled the tub, Georgiana slipped into the warm water, sighing with pleasure. She scrubbed her body with soap that smelled of lavender, but even the simple act of washing herself made her think of other hands on her skin. Stronger hands. James’s hands.
A few minutes later, Mrs. Ellsworth came in to wash her hair.
Mrs. Ellsworth used a pitcher to wet Georgiana’s hair, then scrubbed her scalp with strong fingers. The touch was firm and sure, and Georgiana’s treacherous mind immediately wondered what it would feel like to have James’s fingers threading through her hair, his palms cupping her head as he—
“Goodness,” she breathed, her voice catching.
“Are you all right, dear?” Mrs. Ellsworth paused.
“Yes, that just… feels very good,” Georgiana managed, her pulse quickening at her own wayward thoughts.
“You have lovely hair. The color of a corn tassel,” Mrs. Ellsworth said.
“Thank you.” Georgiana’s voice sounded strained even to her own ears as Mrs. Ellsworth poured one final rinse over her hair.
When she was done, Mrs. Ellsworth left her alone to step out of the tub and dry herself with a towel before getting into her nightgown. She felt anything but relaxed, her body humming with an awareness she couldn’t shake.
Cecily went next, while Mrs. Ellsworth had Georgiana sit by the stove in the kitchen and went to work on Georgiana’s damp hair, using a brush to untangle knots.
“Did you have a maid when you were married?” Mrs. Ellsworth asked.
Georgiana hesitated. The question felt like stepping onto unstable ground. “We had a modest household. Robert preferred things simple.”
“He sounds like a sensible man.”
“He was.” The words came easier now. “Very sensible. Very kind. He was… he was my dearest friend. Other than Cecily, of course.”
Mrs. Ellsworth paused her brushing. “A friendship marriage can be a blessing, in its own way. But passion is also a wonderful thing.”
Georgiana found herself at a crossroads.
She could leave it at that, keep the full truth buried as she had with everyone except Cecily.
However, Mrs. Ellsworth’s gentle, motherly manner made her want to tell her about her marriage to Robert.
Perhaps it would be a relief to share it with someone who might understand.
Yet what if Mrs. Ellsworth was shocked? What if she thought less of Robert’s memory, or worse, what if she thought less of Georgiana herself?
“Was it a love match?” Mrs. Ellsworth asked softly.
Georgiana hesitated another moment before making her choice.
“We both required a spouse. Me, for security. And him—for respectability.” She paused, then took the leap. “He had… particular friendships. With gentlemen. He was very discreet, but I knew. He was honest with me about everything. And I didn’t mind.”
Mrs. Ellsworth’s hands went completely still. The brush stopped mid-stroke. Georgiana could almost hear the older woman absorbing this information. She was shocked. Of course she was.
“Oh,” Mrs. Ellsworth said finally, her voice barely above a whisper. “Oh dear.”
Georgiana’s stomach clenched. Had she made a terrible mistake? “I shouldn’t have said anything. Please, you mustn’t think poorly of him. He was a good man, truly. He never hurt anyone, and he was so careful to keep everything quiet.”
“Hush, child.” Mrs. Ellsworth’s voice was gentle but firm. “I’m not judging him. Or you. I’m just… surprised. In all my years, I’ve heard whispers of such things, but I’ve never known anyone to speak of it so openly.”
“Cecily knows. But no one else.” Georgiana’s voice trembled slightly. “I hope my mother never learns the truth. She might suffer an attack of some kind if she knew.”
Mrs. Ellsworth resumed brushing, her touch even gentler than before. “It must have been lonely for you though.”
“It was. But also… freeing, I suppose. There was no pretense between us about passion or romance. We simply cared for each other. He was willing to treat me as an equal, teaching me his craft and allowing me to flourish in that way. Most women do not have that.”
“And now?” Mrs. Ellsworth asked.
“Now I find myself wondering what it would be like to be married to someone who truly desired me. Someone who wanted me in every way.” The admission came out in a rush, and Georgiana felt heat flood her cheeks. “I know it’s foolish. I should be grateful for what he taught me.”
“There’s nothing foolish about wanting to be desired, dear one. You’re a young woman with a full life ahead of you.”
Now that she was sharing all her secrets, they continued to spill out.
“Robert left everything to me, but I knew Cecily would need a proper dowry for her season. The sale of the house has provided her with enough to make a good match.” Georgiana’s hands twisted in her lap.
“I’ve been living off the remainder, but it won’t last much longer.
That’s why this position is so important.
The wages will help us get by until Cecily marries. ”
“And then?”
“I have not gotten that far in my planning.” The future stretched before her, gray and lonely. “I hope to keep working but most men will not be as gracious as James when they learn I’m a woman.”
“But you should marry again. You’re young and beautiful.”
“No gentleman wants a widow with no fortune,” Georgiana said. “I shall have to accept my fate. I am a woman of passion without hope for a love of my own.”