Chapter 43 #2
Her heart was trying to kill her, where it was beating so hard against her ribcage, she thought she might throw up.
But, she squared her shoulders, pulling her spine straight and giving him an insolent stare.
He had to go. He had to. He would never forgive her, but she was fine with that, as long as he was safe from Neal.
“You said so yourself, it’s been an emotional week. ”
He was shaking his head again, those damn eyes spearing into hers so acutely she feared he would see her truth. “I’m not fucking buying it, Red.”
Shrugging, she raised her hands and let them fall back to her sides, palms slapping against her thighs. “What can I say, Travis? I’ve always been a slut; that hasn’t changed. Maintenance sex is all I’m good for.”
The growl that rumbled out of his chest made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Oh fuck. His expression was fierce as he bit out through gritted teeth, “If you ever talk about yourself like that again…”
“Or what, Travis?” she challenged, because she knew he wouldn’t do anything. He would never. “You’ll do what? Hit me? Teach me a lesson?”
“Now you’re just spouting off anything you possibly can to piss me off,” he murmured darkly, his brows lowering over his eyes in a glare.
“It’s not going to work, Red. You’re scared of something; I can fucking see it in your eyes.
Why can’t you just tell me instead of trying your damndest to shove me away?
You know good and well I’d never lay a hand on you. ”
“I don’t know shit,” she sneered. Her chest was cleaving in two.
She didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to hurt him or push him away.
But he couldn’t get hurt. She couldn’t let Neal hurt him, and if she didn’t give him a reason to leave, to go back to Melody Hills where he would be safe…
Digging in and hating herself with every fiber of her being, she scoffed, “You’ve admitted to being a monster, Travis.
Am I really supposed to believe you leave all that rage in the ring?
That you’ve never hit a woman before? You’ve admitted to killing someone. ”
Travis’s head tipped back as though he’d been struck, but still those honey brown eyes never left hers.
She shivered as he leaned down close, until his face was mere inches from hers.
“I did. And I’d do it again, for you, Red.
I took my father’s life with my bare hands after he killed my mother.
He was drunk and enraged, and he strangled her with a dish towel.
I was nineteen and still living at home because I was too scared to leave her alone with him but she wouldn’t leave.
When I came in from work to him with that towel wrapped around her neck, he came at me with a butcher knife off the counter that she’d been using to cook his dinner.
A dinner that cost her her life, Roxy. My tattoos cover the scars of that night.
He stabbed me sixteen times before I managed to wrestle that knife from him, and then I beat him with my bare hands until there was nothing the paramedics could do when they arrived.
Not one single part of me regrets it. And I’m okay if that makes me a monster, because I’d do it all again. ”
Roxy’s mouth had fallen open, tears stinging her nose as he spoke. He straightened and backed away a step.
“You want to throw shit in my face, Red, at least make sure you have all the information first.”
“Travis…”
He shook his head, holding one hand out as if to shush her. “You made your point, so you don’t need to say anything else. I don’t want your pity, now that you know. I just wanted you to trust me. I only ever wanted you to trust me, Red.”
He turned and walked back up the stairs to the loft.
She tried like hell to steady her breathing, to shove the tears down that were trying to escape.
Her throat hurt from holding them in, her bottom lip trembling.
In the distance, against the horizon, ominous storm clouds darkened the skyline.
Seren had mentioned that morning that a storm would be coming.
Minutes—or maybe a lifetime—later, her heart cracked open wide when he emerged from the loft, duffel bag slung over one shoulder. As he descended the stairs, he draped the hoodie he’d let her wear the night before over either side of the strap. “Travis—”
“Don’t,” he said quietly, and the pained gruffness in his voice nearly killed her. “Don’t say anything else, please, Red.”
He stepped toward her and placed his hands on either side of her jaw, before dropping a kiss to the center of her forehead.
His lips lingered there, his fingertips pressing into the space behind her ears beneath her hairline, his thumbs braced beneath her jaw.
His lips moved, and she could just hear the words as he breathed, “I did what I said I would do, baby girl. I got you here. You’ll be safe.
But you’re right, I did get attached, and dammit I know you did, too.
If this is what you need to make it easier…
” He pressed another kiss to her forehead, lingering for what felt like forever.
“I’ll let you make me the monster, Roxy. ”
Roxy squeezed her eyes shut as tears stung her nose and filled her eyes. A hiccupping sob threatened to escape her and she held her breath to fight it back. She couldn’t let him know. Couldn’t let him know how wrong he was.
He stepped back and tipped her head up, settling his mouth over hers. His lips were warm and soft and she so badly wanted to sink into the kiss, to beg him to forgive her, to beg him not to go… She didn’t mean it, she didn’t mean it, she didn’t mean it…
His thumbs tracked along her cheeks, picking up the tears that slid down them. He broke the kiss, but whispered against her lips, “For what it’s worth, there isn’t anywhere I wouldn’t have gone with you.”