Chapter 18
I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Lola said.
Renee let her eyes stray from the highway that curved around Lake Michigan, to steal a look at her passenger. Lola was staring out the window, an easy smile on her face as she watched the indigo sky darken.
It hadn’t felt real until she and Lola were at the Van Nuys Airport that morning. When Renee had told Lola she wanted to take her to the cabin up north for a few days, they weren’t yet a full block away from the Fit to Live premiere. She’d expected Lola to balk at the idea, but she’d asked when.
“As soon as we can,” Renee had said.
“Tomorrow?”
“I’ll buy tickets on my phone, right now.”
“No, wait—let me make a call first.”
Lola was dialing before Renee could protest. She was probably calling Gloriana or Cassidy, derailing their secret getaway into a snarl of permissions.
“Hey, Tati. How are you? … Honestly, not great. I need a favor. Can I use your jet? Normally I use the label’s but I don’t want to ask—ha, I know, you get it …
Flying out tomorrow and then back in”—Lola’s eyes cut to Renee—“five days?”
Five days.
Less than twenty-four hours after Lola was hyperventilating in a movie theater bathroom, they landed at Cherry Capital Airport outside Traverse City, Michigan, in Tatiana Jones’s private jet.
Night had fallen by the time they’d collected the groceries Renee had ordered on her phone and turned onto a gravel drive fringed with trees.
Winter came quick up north. Though it was early October, the leaves were already yellow, or blanketing the ground.
Soon the muted green of pine needles would be the only source of color.
Renee’s blood thrummed with anticipation as they pulled up to the house.
She killed the engine and flung open her door.
Crisp air welcomed them in a chilly embrace. “I want to show you something.”
“Shouldn’t we put the groceries away first?”
“The groceries will be fine, it’s like forty degrees.”
As soon as Lola was out of the car, Renee grabbed her hand and tugged her around to the back deck.
“Wait, it’s so dark, I’m going to trip— oh .”
Before them, Lake Michigan stretched to the dark horizon, a rich blue-black that sparkled quicksilver where it caught the moonlight.
The moon hung half-full in a sky that was clear of clouds, but freckled with uncountable stars.
They could hear the waves pulsing steadily at the beach below, and above, the wind whispering through the trees a hushed sound like yes .
All Renee’s excitement resolved into something still and certain.
Lola was staring at the sky. Pale moonlight washed over her face and caught brightly in her eyes. Then she let out a small, delighted gasp. “A shooting star! Did you see it?”
Renee had a lifetime to watch shooting stars. Lola, in this moment, was more precious.
“No,” Renee said. Her voice was already a little ragged.
As soon as Lola met Renee’s gaze, the space between them charged with electricity—Renee reached for Lola and in the same instant, Lola moved into her arms, as if she belonged there, as if she’d always been there.
Her hands went to Renee’s waist, her head tilted up, waiting. Renee drew her closer, and kissed her.
For all the times Renee had wanted to kiss Lola in the last weeks, she tried not to rush now.
It was so gentle at first. Lola’s lips were smooth, her skin cold and breath steaming in the night, Renee’s eyelashes brushing hers.
Renee cupped her cheek, her fingers finding their way into her soft hair.
It wasn’t anything like how they’d kissed in that hotel room, brash and a little frantic.
This was precious—a delicate thing built of every moment of these last weeks—every casual touch that meant more, every private laugh, every vulnerable moment they’d shared.
And more than that—of ten years apart, and all the shit they’d borne witness to for each other before that.
Renee couldn’t believe that all of that had brought them to this moment. She tugged Lola harder against her and parted her lips with her tongue, so she could take Lola’s lower lip into her mouth and suck. She tasted like sweet relief and hunger all at once.
Lola moaned, pressing her nose into Renee’s cheek as she deepened the kiss.
Her hands snaked into Renee’s coat, then under the back of her shirt, her touch deliciously cool against Renee’s hot skin.
Her fingertips bit into the flesh of Renee’s back, pulling her closer, closer.
They couldn’t be touching any more than they were with their coats on, but Lola wanted more.
Wanted this.
Wanted her.
The thought threatened to overwhelm Renee, as Lola rose up on her toes to slide her tongue into Renee’s mouth.
A gust of wind rolled off the lake, buffeting them with freezing air. Lola seized up. Renee broke away, resting her forehead against Lola’s. They were both panting, lips swollen, and Renee would have bet money that Lola was on fire, exactly like she was, even if her skin was freezing.
“Inside?” Renee asked.
“Yeah.” Lola’s voice sounded raw.
But Lola didn’t move. With Lola’s breath warm against her mouth, Renee didn’t want to move either.
“Fuck,” Renee breathed.
“Yeah,” Lola said again.
R ENEE FUMBLED WITH the house key, so jittery was she from Lola’s nearness.
Finally inside, Renee rambled, excusing her mom’s cheesy lake house decor and apologizing that the heat wasn’t on and warning of the ladybug infestation.
For all the girls she’d been with, Renee wasn’t used to being nervous.
It was hot as hell.
Lola hardly said anything at all. Her quiet wasn’t awkward or avoidant. It felt more like an agreement: the moment on the deck was banked like a fire, to allow them to do all the little things that needed doing in the empty house.
Then all at once, the two of them were facing each other in the harsh light of the kitchen.
“I—”
“Are you—”
Lola reached for Renee’s hands and ran her thumbs over her knuckles. The rich darkness of her eyes, an abyss Renee could vanish into. Maybe she already had. Her heartbeat fluttered as Lola’s gaze shifted from her lips to her eyes, and back again.
Suddenly Lola let out a laugh. “How are you the nervous one?”
Renee wet her lips. “I think you like it when I’m nervous.”
Lola closed the distance between them, slid her hand to Renee’s neck, and kissed her.
Renee yielded to the smell of her perfume and the way her thick hair tangled around them like spiderwebs. Renee forgot her nerves, forgot anything but the hungry pressure of Lola’s mouth, the need that simmered from her fingertips to her belly to her clit.
They stumbled down the hall to the bedroom.
Renee kicked off one of her sneakers as Lola tugged her in for another kiss, and she lost her balance, sending the picture on the wall swinging.
Steadying them, Renee seized Lola’s waist. She guided her backward toward the bed, until Lola’s legs hit the mattress and she fell against the duvet.
Renee climbed up over her, so their thighs were interlocked.
Lola hissed out a breath as Renee’s body pressed against her.
Renee let Lola take the lead. Her deft fingers worked through the buttons of Renee’s flannel.
Lola arched off the bed as she flung Renee’s shirt to the floor and brought her mouth to her chest. Renee fell into the sensation of Lola’s teeth against her nipple through the fabric of her sports bra, of Lola’s strong hands sliding down the back of her jeans to grip her flesh, to the whisper of a moan that caught at the back of Lola’s throat with every breath.
“Fuck, Lo—” Renee pushed herself back to unfasten and shuck off her jeans. She searched for the words for what she wanted and how badly, but she was messy and desperate and all she could manage was “Lo, please. ”
Lola pulled Renee back down with one hand. The other, she slipped into Renee’s underwear.
Renee cried out as Lola’s fingers brushed against her.
Below her, her arms framed Lola’s face, those hungry eyes watching Renee with greedy attention.
Lola’s fingers teased Renee’s folds, so tantalizingly near what Renee needed that it was almost painful.
Renee’s breaths hung ragged around Lola’s name, her hips rolling with need.
Then all at once, Lola sank two fingers in, bringing the heel of her hand to Renee’s clit.
Renee cried out, her arms trembling. But Lola’s hand kept up that perfect rhythm, and Renee bore herself down against her—until she began to clench around Lola’s fingers.
At that precise moment, Lola changed the angle of her wrist, increasing the pressure against Renee’s core.
It was exactly what Renee loved, and, fuck , Lola remembered .
She’d—but then Renee was plummeting over the edge of pleasure, her body and mind lost to this moment, to sensation, to Lo .
Renee panted into the duvet, her body half flung over Lola’s. Their legs hung over the side of the bed—they hadn’t even made it anywhere near the pillows.
“I’ve never come that fast for anyone,” Renee whispered.
“I’ll make you wait next time.”
Renee brushed back a lock of hair that was stuck to Lola’s forehead.
The night after the wedding, she’d tried to please Lola and been denied.
She still didn’t know if Lola was a top or simply nervous with new partners.
She could have asked what Lola wanted, what she liked.
But the moment between them felt fragile, precious.
She didn’t want to interrupt it with a discussion that Lola might not be prepared for.
Renee sat up. Lola pushed herself up too, then ran her palms up Renee’s back, grazing the straps of her sports bra between her shoulder blades, her touch drifting over Renee’s traps and over the swell of her shoulders.
“You’re still wearing your shoes,” Renee said.