Chapter 1
Chapter One
Julie
I jerk awake at the sound of a door slamming, my heart pounding out of my chest. Weak winter light filters through the room as I rub my bleary eyes, trying to get my bearings. As quickly as my aching neck allows, I survey my surroundings. Bookshelf. Expensive couch I never sit on. Peppermint Hershey Kiss wrappers—my favorite candy that I hoard in December like the world is ending—scattered all over my desk. Mug still half full of the coffee I made last night in an unsuccessful attempt to stay awake. Kessler file stacked on the floor. Kessler draft last will and testament now a crumpled mess from serving as a pillow for my impromptu nap. And is that…yep. A puddle of drool right on the disposition of tangible personal property clause.
Classy, Julie. How super law partner who definitely has her shit together of you.
The giggling from downstairs snaps me to attention. I would know that giggle anywhere. My life-long best friend Hallie was never a giggler until she and my twin brother Ben got together, but now the two of them walk around with perma-grins on their faces. And Hallie giggles. Ben was, evidently, in love with her for eleven years before he worked up the nerve to tell her this past summer. They got engaged a few days ago and I don’t know how I missed his pining for all those years. I never miss anything—especially not when it comes to the people closest to me, and no one is closer to me than Ben. But his love for her caught me completely off guard, and there is nothing I hate more than being caught off guard.
The footsteps on the stairs snap me to action. I swipe all the candy wrappers into the trash before flying to my feet, one hand swiping down my face and the other plunging into my top desk drawer for my emergency makeup bag. I whip a brush through my hair and reach for my lip gloss.
The footsteps pause before they reach the top of the staircase outside my office, and I don’t have to see it to know that Ben has Hallie pressed against the wall, probably kissing her senseless. Those two can barely go ten minutes without having their mouths attached together. I love them both madly but good lord, that is a lot of kissing.
Although this morning, I’m grateful for it because it gives me a couple extra minutes to pull myself together. I tug on the sweater hanging on the back of my chair, swipe on some lip gloss, and pinch my cheeks to add some color. By the time my office door opens, I’ve shoved the Kessler will into a drawer and erased all other signs that I just napped on my desk like a college student cramming for finals.
When Hallie strolls in with Ben following close behind, I paste what I hope is a serene smile on my face and start randomly typing on my keyboard, hoping I look busy and put together and not at all the twisted-up hot mess I am on the inside.
The story of my fucking life .
“Seriously, Jules, it’s eight-thirty on a Saturday morning,” Hallie says, handing me a take-out coffee cup—bless her—and dropping down on my office couch. She is bright-eyed and glowing, everything about her giving off the kind of contentment that comes from a rock-solid relationship and the soul deep love coming off her in waves. An involuntary rush of jealousy settles in my stomach, and I immediately hate myself for it.
“Didn’t you leave your mega law firm so you didn’t have to work at stupid o’clock on the weekend?” Ben asks, sprawling out next to Hallie. He wraps an arm around her and tugs her closer, as if the six inches of distance between them is too much for him to bear. “What time did you even get here this morning?”
“Oh, you know, a while ago,” I say vaguely, taking a sip of the latte Hallie brought me and hoping they’ll drop it. Telling them I’m here because I never left last night and that the last thing I remember before hearing the door slam five minutes ago was idly wondering if I could get an Uber at four in the morning is a complete nonstarter. I will take the secret of my middle of the night desk naps to my grave. Smart, sophisticated, have-it-all-together owners of their own law firm do not take four-hour naps with their heads pillowed on estate planning documents.
And that’s what I am. A partner in a law firm that Hallie and I started with our best friends Emma and Molly. We have been planning this in one way or another since Hallie and I met Emma and Molly during our first year of law school. We officially opened for business a month ago but left our jobs this past summer to start putting our plans into action. We started off as a firm focused solely on estate planning, but last summer Hallie made a big career change and switched her practice to family law with a focus on adoption, transitioning the bulk of her estate planning clients to me.
Ben is right that we started this firm to give ourselves the kind of balance that doesn’t usually exist in the big law firm world. But our firm is new and there is always something to do, and I like Saturdays at the office. I can plow through a whole pile of work without email notifications and ringing phones and my friends constantly coming in and out. No one is ever here on Saturdays. Come to think of it…
“What are you two even doing here anyway?”
“We came to tell you about our plans for the football game,” Hallie says, pulling off her jacket and making herself more comfortable on the couch.
I scratch the inside of my left wrist, my fingers itching to pull the Kessler estate planning documents out of my drawer and get back to work. “You couldn’t just text me?”
“We tried, but none of our texts were delivered and your phone kept going straight to voicemail. I figured you were here, so I tried calling the office line, but I kept getting a busy signal, so we came in person.”
I reach for my phone and try to turn it on. Dead. Glancing over at my office phone, I see the receiver sitting on my desk, not in the cradle where it should be. I must have knocked it off while I was asleep. Fuck . My stomach clenches, and my heart pounds at the thought of being totally unreachable to my clients. I hang up my desk phone and hastily plug my cell into the charging station on my desk. I take a deep breath once my phone boots up, and when I see the only missed messages are the ones from Hallie and Ben, my heartrate returns to normal.
“So you’ll come, right?”
It's only then I realize Hallie is still talking, oblivious to my panic .
“Sorry, what did you say? I spaced for a second.” I wince inwardly, hating having to ask her to repeat herself.
“The football game, Jules. Playoffs? The clients your dad was supposed to take to the game got snowed in and can’t make it, and your mom said the only place she’s going today is to the kitchen for snacks, so we’re taking the tickets.”
“Seriously, Hal? It’s freezing outside and I have a ton of work to do.” I love a football game, especially when we get to sit in my dad’s corporate seats in the third row right on the fifty-yard line, but I do not love a football game in January. And I definitely don’t love a football game when I have a ten-mile-long to-do list.
“Come on, Jules,” Ben pipes in. “Molly and Emma are coming too. Jeremy even got passes to the friends and family room after the game, and Allie and Jordan are both off today. We’re going early and drinking in the parking lot. Jeremy is bartending. How often do we all get to hang out together? Come with us and eat eleven a.m. hot dogs that we’ll definitely regret and day drink like we’re twenty-one again.”
Jeremy and Jordan are Ben’s college best friends and, along with Jordan’s fiancée Allie, round out our friend group. Jeremy is also Ben’s partner in Fireside, the bar they own. He is a former NHL player and, in addition to the bar, runs a foundation that gives him connections all over the sports world, so it’s not surprising that he could score friends and family room passes.
“Please come, Jules. It’s been weeks since we’ve done something together that’s not work related. I miss us.”
It’s Hallie’s I miss us that weakens my resolve to hole up in my office for the rest of the day. Because I miss us too. The breakneck speed of Hallie and Ben’s relationship gave me whiplash. The two people closest to me in the world are building a life together, and I don’t know where I fit in. If I fit in.
I shake away that thought as quickly as it comes. My fingers sneak towards my wrist again, but I pull them back before they can start scratching. I can have today with my best friend and my brother. I need today. Decision made, I press my hands to my desk and push myself up to standing.
“Okay, let’s go to the football game.”