Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Julie
P eople and conversation fill the Renegades friends and family room. Kids chase each other around and steal cookies off the well-stocked buffet tables, supervised by exhausted-looking moms in bedazzled jerseys emblazoned with their husbands’ names and numbers.
Jordan and Allie had to leave early since they both have a night shift at the hospital, but everyone else is occupied. Jeremy knows practically everyone in the room and is carrying on what looks like four conversations at once. Ben is curled up with Hallie on a couch, whispering something in her ear. Emma is leaning against a wall like she’s trying to disappear into it, and Molly is surrounded by a group of what looks like rookie players who are hanging on her every word.
Every time the door to the room opens, my anxiety spikes. I’m not even sure Asher’s coming, and I don’t know whether the anxiety is because he’s not here yet or because I hope he never shows. I’ve been replaying the moment our eyes met on the field over and over for the last hour and a half. He was at least two hundred feet away from me, but the distance didn’t dull the zing of awareness in my blood as his sky-blue eyes locked on mine. Or the full body flush when he winked and blew me that kiss.
I hate myself for it—the idea that a wink and a kiss from a football player stirred me up like I’m a fucking cleat-chaser or something. My only saving grace is that no one seemed to notice the kiss was directed to me, thank fucking god.
And I hate myself even more that when he took the hit on the final play of the game, my feet glued themselves to the stadium floor. God herself couldn’t have made me leave my spot. When he rolled his head towards me, and our eyes met again, I could practically see the pain swimming in his gaze, and all I could think was how much he probably hates being vulnerable like that, displaying his pain to the world. I know I would. Hating my soft thoughts towards him, as soon as I saw him sit up and shake out his shoulder, I ran out of our section like my ass was on fire, muttering to Hallie about needing the bathroom.
The chatter around the room is that he tweaked his shoulder when he fell on it, but nothing is torn or broken. Since this was the last game of the season, no one seems particularly worried about it. My relief is embarrassing.
“I saw it, you know.”
Thoughts broken, I whirl around to find Molly standing in front of me, a satisfied smirk on her face.
“Saw what?”
“That it was you he was blowing that kiss to.”
Fucking hell. Deflect, Jules .
“It really wasn’t. He was too far away. It could have been to anyone.”
“It could have been, but it wasn’t. That was some intense eye contact. I was sure one of you was going to spontaneously combust. ”
“Keep your voice down,” I hiss at her, glancing around the room for eavesdroppers. Not only do I not want anyone to hear this conversation because, embarrassing, but I’m part owner of a brand-new law firm, and no one wants their estate planning attorney to be gushing about some professional athlete.
“Calm down, Jules. No one is paying attention to you now and they weren’t paying attention to you then.”
Relief shudders through me. “No one else saw?”
Molly grins triumphantly. “So, you admit it was you he was looking at.”
“I admit nothing.”
“Okay, sure. We’ll go with that. But that man was hot as fuck in July and he’s even hotter now. The football season has been kind to him. Did you see his ass in those uniform pants?”
Yeah I did . I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from responding.
“I thought you should fuck him back then and I still think it now. No one needs professional athlete sex more than you do. You need a better hobby than ordering us around the office and coming in on Saturday morning to work.”
I get a flash of Asher and me rolling around, tangled in my sheets, but shake it away before it can materialize any further. “No thanks. I didn’t have time in my life for an athlete six months ago, and I definitely don’t have time for one now.”
“Jules, everyone has time for athlete sex. And if you don’t have time, you should make time.”
With that, she flounces away, heading towards Emma to, I’m sure, try and coax her away from the wall. I would rather die than admit it to her, but Molly is the best at knowing what we all need, even if I sometimes hate her a little for it. She’s not wrong that I could use a night of no strings athlete sex in theory, but in reality, I’m exhausted even thinking about it. All the performing and worrying about what I’m wearing and what I smell like and whether my body is angled right and if he’s enjoying himself and trying to make sure I fake it well because if I don’t, I’ll have to deal with a manchild sized bruised ego. I’d rather just use a vibrator. It never cares what I look like, and it always gets me off.
Unwilling to let my thoughts drift any farther down that road, I glance around, my mind turning to all the potential clients in this room and the opportunities I’m missing by just standing here. I should walk around, introduce myself to people. My right hand scratches just above my watch as dread pools in my stomach. I didn’t consider that this room would be ripe for networking opportunities, so I didn’t prepare any talking points. Without them, I could say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. My fingers scratch harder.
“Stop thinking so hard, Blondie.”
The voice in my ear is low and deep, and the rasp in it has chills running down my spine. I spin around and come face-to-face with Asher. He’s standing closer to me than I expected, and even though he’s almost a head taller than I am, I can see every gold fleck in his sky-blue eyes. His brown hair is perfectly tousled, and he must have shaved the playoff beard he was sporting during the game because his square jaw is on full display. It should be illegal to look that good. The warmth of his body and his spicy scent wash over me, and for a split second I want desperately to wrap myself in it like a blanket.
Like earlier when I saw him lying on the field, my feet are glued to the floor, and with a mind of their own, my eyes drift down to his lips before I realize what I’m doing and jerk my gaze back up, taking a giant step back. The way he smirks at me, as if he can see every thought in my head, has me slipping into my badass lawyer persona like a suit of armor.
“Hey Hot Shot, glad to see you back on two legs.”
Lawyer mode activated .
His grin is wide and dazzling. “You know us quarterbacks. Nothing can keep us down.”
He rolls his shoulder in what looks like an involuntary motion. The grimace on his face is so slight and so quick that if I wasn’t looking right at him I would have missed it, and I wonder if his injury is really as minor as everyone is saying it is.
“So, how’s your shoulder really doing?”
He just shrugs. With his left shoulder. “It’ll be fine. I’m far more interested in knowing how I got lucky enough that Julie Parker herself not only came to my game, but waited for me afterwards. Am I finally going to get your phone number after all these months?”
“Not a chance. And don’t flatter yourself. I came to the game with my friends because my dad wasn’t using his company tickets and my brother and his fiancé, also known as my best friend, ganged up on me and forced me out of my office. I’m still here because they’re my ride and they are currently wrapped up in each other, unaware that the rest of the world exists, and the other passenger in our car is deep in conversation with your head coach.”
“Well, good thing I’m here to keep you occupied while you wait for them.” He winks at me and the warmth that settles in my belly has my hackles rising.
“What makes you think I’m just going to stand here and talk to you?”
He shrugs again. “Luck and unwavering persistence?”
“I’ll show you what to do with your luck and unwavering persistence, big guy.”
I start to turn away, but as I look around the room with my back to Asher, I don’t know where to go. Allie and Jordan are long gone, and I don’t see Molly or Emma anywhere. I feel like a third wheel interrupting whatever Hallie and Ben have going on, and Jeremy is still talking to the coach. I feel deeply, unexpectedly alone. My stomach twists. My left hand starts drumming a rhythm on my thigh, and I clench my fist to keep from scratching at my wrist.
“I can just stand here with you,” Asher says quietly into my ear. “We don’t even have to talk.”
I turn back around, and our eyes meet. His are filled with an understanding I don’t like, and I have the sudden, uncomfortable feeling that he sees too damn much. Before I can respond, Ben strolls over.
“Jules, you ready to go? Jeremy’s almost done with the coach, and we’re all going to the bar for drinks and food.” He sticks his hand out to shake Asher’s. “Sorry about the game, man. How’s your shoulder?”
Asher shrugs his left shoulder again and gives Ben a smile more muted than the grin he gave me earlier. “Nothing a few days of rest won’t take care of.”
“Glad to hear it. I’m sure you have family and teammates you want to hang with, but we’re all going to mine and Jeremy’s bar. You’re welcome to join.”
Please say no , I mentally chant. Please say you’re going out to drown your sorrows with your teammates .
“Actually, my family couldn’t make the trip. I’d love to come.”
Goddamn Ben for being so friendly .
“Happy to have you. It’s Fireside on the South Side.”
“Thanks, Ben. I just have to grab a couple things from the locker room, and I’ll head out.”
“Sounds great, we’re driving over now, so we’ll see you there.”
“Looking forward to it.” Asher turns to leave and then spins back around, winking at me. “See you there, Blondie.” As he saunters out of the room, heat rushes to my face again and I honest to God can’t tell at this point if it’s fury, embarrassment, or arousal.
Hallie links arms with me. “What the hell was that? I think you have some explaining to do in the car.”
“You have no idea,” I mumble to myself, and follow everyone out the door, wondering how easy it will be to ignore Asher for the rest of the night.