Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Asher
W ell, that happened.
I jog the block or so back to the bar quickly, as if I’m trying to outrun the memory of what just happened. But it’s an exercise in futility because I am going to remember the look on Julie’s face as she watched me fuck my own fist in the shower until the day I die. I have no idea what possessed me to keep going when I realized she was standing in my room watching me, but my hand took on a life of its own.
I didn’t mean to jerk off in the shower, but after watching Julie tear off her shirt in front of me and everything she said? I was hard as steel and the cold shower didn’t do shit, and, well, I’m only human. Being watched has never been a kink of mine, but being watched by Julie? Yes please. Every drop of blood in my body rushed to my dick so fast that I was harder than I have ever been in my life, and I also had no brain cells left to tell me to stop.
So…okay. It happened, and we’ll just have to deal with it. And I saw her eyes. And her face. That was not the look of so meone who was unaffected by the show. And yeah, I know what I look like. I’ve been an athlete for my entire life. But that was more than just a woman appreciating a man with muscles. That was curiosity and lust and something…else. Something deeper and a little darker that has my stomach swooping just thinking about it.
It was so damn hot, and the only thing that would have made it hotter would have been if I had been fucking her instead of my hand. Having her watch me made one thing crystal clear. I have never wanted another woman in my life the way I want Julie. And not just in a sexual way. In an absolutely everything, hop a plane to Vegas right now and find a chapel, ‘till death do us part kind of way.
But this isn’t about me. It’s about her. It’s about making sure she’s comfortable with me even though I know she’s going to hate how much she liked it.
She’ll try and clam up on me in the morning, but I won’t let her. I’m going to annoy the fuck out of her until she takes some swipes at me because if she’s swiping at me, she’ll forget to be anxious about what happened and what it all means. I’m a little brother; I’ve been training for an annoy the fuck out of someone moment for my entire life.
When I get to the arcade, I go straight back to the air hockey table we used, but Julie’s phone isn’t there. Heading to the bar, I get the bartender’s attention quickly.
“What can I get you?” he asks.
“Did anyone find a phone by the air hockey tables? Purple case?”
“It’s your lucky day.” He reaches under the bar and pulls out Julie’s phone, handing it to me.
“Thanks, man.” I take the phone from him and dig a twenty out of my pocket, dropping it in the tip jar. “Have a good night. ”
He salutes me. “You bet.”
As I leave the arcade, the phone vibrates in my hand and, out of habit, I look at the pop-up notification on the screen.
Molly
Jules, it’s not a friends thing and everyone knows it. Have all the sex with him, Jules. Then tell me all about it. We’ll do a virtual sexy breakfast story. With donuts.
I snort out a laugh, not sure what a sexy breakfast story is and why donuts are involved, but glad that Julie is staying in touch with her friends while she’s away since I know they mean a lot to her. And I’m even happier that they all seem to be on my side. Or, at least Molly is, and she seems like a woman who could convince anyone of anything.
When I get back to the hotel, I slip into Julie’s room using her key since I’m betting she shoved that lock back onto the adjoining door as hard as she could. Julie is sound asleep, so working as quietly as possible, I fish the charger I saw earlier out of her bag and plug her phone in on the nightstand. Grabbing another bottle of water out of the mini-bar, I set it on the nightstand with two Tylenol I shake out of a bottle I found in her bag.
Satisfied she’ll have everything she needs in the morning, I lean down and kiss her forehead, smoothing her hair back from her face and wondering how long I can stand there watching her before it turns creepy. I decide five minutes is the limit and walk back to my room, hoping there will be a night soon when I can stay with her and never leave again.
“Your latte, Juliette.”
Julie is standing in the doorway to her room, cheeks bright red as she takes the coffee cup from me without making eye contact. I take a sip from my Big Gulp to hide my smile. I knew she would be feeling some kind of way about last night. She’s wearing what has become her road trip uniform. Tight black leggings, a soft sweater—purple today—and shearling lined boots. Her hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, and her face is free of makeup with a fresh, just washed look. She’s so pretty it hurts.
“And how are we doing on this fine morning?”
She takes a sip of her coffee and says nothing, eyes still firmly fixed on the floor, the fingers of her free hand tapping out a beat on her thigh.
I grab a handful of peppermint Hershey Kisses out of my jacket pocket and slip them into hers. I accidentally graze her hip as I do, and even though it’s through at least two layers of clothing, my fingers tingle at the contact, and I hear her suck in a breath and lean a shoulder heavily against her room door.
“Breakfast of champions. It’s not actual breakfast, don’t worry. But I figured we would get on the road first—there’s a diner I found about an hour out I think you’ll love.”
She just mumbles something under her breath. She still hasn’t looked at me.
The lack of eye contact is making me itchy, so I gently lift her chin with my fingers. When her gaze meets mine, I see it. Anxiety swirling in the deep blue depths. I can practically see her brain working through all the different scenarios of last night and what it means and what she should do about it. She has opened up so much to me over the last couple of days, so the last thing I want is for her to crawl back behind her walls. Not with me. Never with me .
So, I paste a smirk on my face. “See anything good last night?”
Her eyes narrow just a fraction, like she’s trying to figure out what I’m doing and react accordingly. “Watch any shows after I left your room? Anything…spicy?”
Come on Julie. Scratch me, baby.
Still nothing.
“Was the temperature in your room okay? Anything make you…hot?”
“For fuck’s sake, Asher, do you ever stop talking?” she explodes.
Bingo .
I tear open a bag of gummy worms and toss a couple in my mouth, washing them down with Dr. Pepper. “Nah, not when I have so much to say to you.”
“I honestly sometimes wish you would say less,” she mutters.
Relieved that she’s talking to me again, I grin at her. I want her to feel however she needs to feel about what went down, but I want her to talk to me about it. I want her to talk to me about everything. I want every thought in her head. So…fuck it, I guess. If we dance around it, we won’t get anywhere. We might as well just face it and get it all out right here in this hallway before we get in the car.
“Juliette, I know you’re feeling some kind of way about what happened last night. And by what happened, I mean, you caught me jerking off in the shower and I didn’t stop, and you didn’t leave. I think it’ll help to say the words.”
Face turning red all over again, Julie blows out a breath, sliding down until she’s sitting right on the floor of the hotel hallway, her door slamming shut behind her. I join her on the floor, sitting cross legged opposite her so our knees are touching. Electricity flows from that tiny point of contact. The way I react to her is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s as if the first time we touched, my body said “Yes, her,” and my fate was sealed. Setting my Dr. Pepper down, I reach out and grab her coffee, putting it next to my cup so I can take both of her hands.
“I’m sorry if last night made you uncomfortable. I like to think I know you well enough now to know if you are, but you know your own mind, and if it made you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, you can tell me. I want you to tell me.”
She looks back down at the floor. “It didn’t,” she whispers.
I give an internal fist pump and then squeeze her hands. She squeezes back, holding my hands like they’re a lifeline from the tornado of her own thoughts. I find I quite like the idea of being her lifeline.
“Okay, I’m glad it didn’t. You’re safe with me, Juliette. Always and no matter what. Look, did I want the first time you saw me naked to be when you were fully clothed while I stood ten feet away from you with my dick in my own hand? I did not. But I’m a go with the flow kind of guy. And yeah, I wanted to take things a little slower, but you can’t always plan for these things. But I want you to know that just because that happened, it doesn’t mean that anything else has to. I would never take anything from you that you didn’t want to give me. Ever. And if we’re headed where I hope we’re headed, we have all the time in the world. So, you take your time baby, because I’m not going anywhere.”
As I was talking, her eyes drifted down to the carpet, but once I finish, she raises her head, and her eyes are glassy with unshed tears. Reacting immediately, I swing around so I’m sitting against the wall next to her and pick her up, sitting her right in my lap. The quick movement has pain throbbing through my shoulder, but I ignore it. She curls right into me, laying her head on my chest. I band one arm tightly around her waist and thread my other hand through her hair, holding her against me.
“Talk to me, Juliette.”
She lets out a watery laugh. “It’s nothing, really.”
“I very much doubt that. No thought that’s in your head could ever be nothing.”
She sighs. “It’s just what you said. That you would never take anything from me that I didn’t want to give you. I guess, maybe, I needed to hear that? No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”
I tighten my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as I can. “I never would,” I whisper against the side of her head. “I only want what you’re willing to give me. I know the parts of yourself you have already given me are more than you usually give to anyone else, and I need you to know that I see that.”
She takes a deep breath and sits up then, twisting around to face me. “How do you get me so well? How do you understand me better than anyone when we’ve barely known each other a month?”
I take her face in both of my hands and kiss her forehead. “First of all, I’ve known you ever since you asked me to take your picture at the gala last summer. I heard your voice, and I was a goner.”
She scoffs at that. If only she actually knew what went through my head when I first heard her voice. But this isn’t the time to get into all that.
“I am deadly serious. But also, when it feels right, when it works, who cares how long it’s been? This feels right to me. It feels like it works. I think it feels the same to you.”
With my hands still cradling her face, her eyes bounce between mine before she finally answers.
“I think so too.”
Then she takes a deep breath and leans forward, laying her lips on mine, and even though the kiss is short and sweet, my body explodes in heat. I meant it when I told her I started falling from the first time I heard her voice, but it’s right here in this hotel hallway, with Julie’s face in my hands and her lips on mine that I take the final fall. It’s sudden and easy and absolutely inevitable, and I will remember this moment for the rest of my life as the one where I tumbled into love with Julie Parker, and nothing has ever felt as right to me as that.
We break apart and I kiss her forehead again before pulling back and just looking at her, feeling the magnitude and sheer rightness of this moment.
And then the moment is broken by the buzzing of my phone in my pocket.
“You can grab that,” Julie says, pushing up to standing. “I need to go get my bags and stuff.”
It’s like she doesn’t even know I just fell face first in love with her. It’ll be fun keeping this one close to the vest for a while, so I don’t absolutely freak her the fuck out before she’s ready.
When Julie disappears into her room, I pull my phone out of my pocket to see who called. I missed the call, but it rings again in my hand. It’s a Pittsburgh area code, and the number isn’t saved in my phone, but I know who it is. It’s Danny—the guy from the gym I buy my painkillers from. He must have seen my missed call from the day before we left and is calling me back. I know late winter is slow for him with no baseball and no football, and I’m a good customer.
My shoulder gives a little throb, as if reminding me what’s at stake. Julie learning that I’ve been buying what essentially amounts to black market anti-inflammatory painkillers for years. Whether I’ll even be able to throw a football with this arm when pre-season starts in a few months. What I’ll do if I can’t. As soon as I miss the second call, the phone starts to ring a third time. I reject the call and shove the phone back into my pocket, pushing my dark thoughts to the very back of my brain just as Julie opens her door.
“Ready to go?” she asks, giving me a bright smile that hits me right in the chest. Fuck, I love her.
“You know it, Juliette. Kansas City awaits.”