Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Julie
“ D o you ever think about just chucking it all and moving to the middle of nowhere? Settling in a place like this, far away from everything?”
We’re sitting outside in rockers on the inn’s front porch, dressed in our winter gear and drinking hot chocolate, looking out at the snow-covered landscape. The blizzard was over by the time we woke up this morning, but the roads out here hadn’t been plowed yet, so we’re staying put for now. The cold and snow called to us both, and sitting here bundled up side-by-side next to a fire pit, hot drinks in hand, and breathing in the crisp winter air makes for the very best morning.
He reaches over and covers my gloved hand with his. The question has been on my mind since we woke up this morning and looked out over an endless blanket of undisturbed snow. Actually, it’s probably been on my mind since we left Pittsburgh. This whole trip has made me think about living in a different way. Not jolting awake every morning, working eighteen hours a day, and surviving on anxiety and caffeine. Enjoying things like a cold winter morning.
“It’s beautiful here, but I’m pretty happy where I am. I sometimes think about Boulder, though. I miss my family a lot during the season.”
My stomach bottoms out at the thought of him leaving Pittsburgh. Leaving me. I don’t want him to go anywhere . The thought is immediate and crystal clear. The old Julie might have kept it in and worried over it, but the me who takes spontaneous road trips with NFL quarterbacks and howls with wolves asks the question on my mind.
“You think you’ll move back there one day? When you’re done playing?”
“Not anymore.”
The answer surprises me, so I ask the second question. “What changed?”
He puts his cup down on the floor and turns his chair so he’s facing me, then reaches out to spin my chair around too.
“I met you. My plan was to go back to Boulder when I retired. But then I danced with a brilliant, gorgeous, smart-mouthed lawyer who refused to give me her number when I asked for it, and I’ve thought of her every damn day since. And now that I have her? I never want to let her go. Boulder used to be my favorite place. But now? My favorite place is wherever you are.”
His answer has tears pricking my eyes, but I blink them back. I don’t want anything blurring my view of the man sitting in front of me. I don’t know how I got this lucky, but I’ve always thought winter mornings have a way of making wishes come true.
“You would really stay in Pittsburgh for me, even when you don’t have to be there?”
“Of course I would. Pittsburgh is your place. The business you built is there. Your family is there. Your whole life. You need to be there, and I need to be with you. Everything else will work itself out.”
A little stunned by his answer, I say nothing. Instead, I put my cup down on the porch and climb out of my chair, right into his lap, curling myself into him and resting my head on his shoulder. He slides his arms around my waist, kissing my forehead, leaning his head against mine.
“I can’t imagine a day without you in my life. Is that weird? It hasn’t been very long.”
He just chuckles, probably at the way my analytical mind tries to make sense of the nonsensical. “I told you, Juliette. All I had to do was hear your voice. You asked me to take your picture outside the gala and I was a goner before I even turned around and saw your face. I can’t explain it. I just know what I know. You were it for me then and you’re it for me now.”
“I’ve never been good with things I can’t enter into a spreadsheet, but I think I’m just fine with that.”
He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m just fine with that too.”
I let out a little sigh and snuggle deeper into him, as close as our puffy winter jackets allow, and speak another truth. “I wish we didn’t have to leave later this afternoon. I like it here.”
“We don’t have to leave. Let’s stay here again tonight and drive straight to Denver tomorrow. We’ll still get a night in Denver so I can show you my favorite places, and we’ll make it to Boulder on time.”
She sits up to look at me. “But the Eisenhower Presidential Library. The Underground Salt Museum. There are so many things you want to do between here and Denver.”
Asher runs a hand over my hair and down my back. “Part of being on a road trip is being spontaneous. Be spontaneous with me, Juliette. You like it here? As long as Shirley has space, let’s stay another night. ”
“Oh, Shirley definitely has room.” We both turn around to find Shirley grinning at us from the front door. “I couldn’t help but hear the end of your conversation and honey, you hang on to that man of yours. He’s one of the good ones.”
Asher smirks and nudges me. “You hear that, Juliette? I’m one of the good ones. Better hang on to me.”
I snort out a laugh. “I’ll be so sure to do exactly that.”
“Anyway,” Shirley says. “I just came out to see if you two had any interest in ice skating. There’s a frozen pond at the back of the property that’s great for skating, and we just got the path cleared. We have skates in a bunch of sizes. No one else wants to go down, so you’d have it to yourselves.”
I smile inwardly. “I don’t know,” I say, hoping I sound unsure. “I’m not the best skater.”
“Well lucky for you, I grew up in Boulder and was practically skating before I could walk. I’ll make sure you don’t fall.”
I just barely resist the urge to cackle. Men, even the very best ones, are sometimes so utterly predictable. I’ll play this chivalrous, protect my woman at all costs boy like a fiddle.
I shrug. “Okay, sure, I guess. But no laughing.”
Asher stands up, taking me with him. “I would never. Shirley, lead the way.”
Ten minutes later, we’re sitting on a bench on the very edge of a giant frozen pond lacing up our skates. Asher finishes first, standing and holding out his hand to me. “Come on, Juliette. We’ll take it slow.”
I tilt my head, studying him. “You know Asher, there are some things in life that just aren’t meant to be taken slow.”
His expression is confused. “Like what?”
“Like ice skating.” I pop up from the bench and leap onto the pond, landing steadily on one foot. “Catch me if you can, Hot Shot!” Then I take off without looking back.
The frosty wind slaps at my cheeks as I fly down the ice and it feels amazing. Halfway down the pond I push off with my back foot and launch myself into a two-foot spin, raising my arms above my head and whipping around so fast my hair flies behind me and the pond and surrounding trees are a blur of color and motion. I come out of the spin breathing hard, facing Asher, who is standing motionless on the edge of the pond, staring at me, jaw slack and mouth partway open.
I skate back over and come to a stop right in front of him.
“That was…you were…huh?” He looks a little dazed, and I laugh out loud and smack a kiss to his cold cheek, delighted with him and this day.
“Surprised?”
He blows out a breath and runs a hand down his face. “Turned on, more like,” he mumbles. “You can skate.”
I laugh again. “Little bit. Twelve years of figure skating, ages six to eighteen.”
“But, like, you can really, really skate. Did you compete?”
I decide to give him another little piece of myself, one I haven’t even given my family. “I never wanted to compete. I love winter, and I love skating. Learning tricks and spins was fun, but really, being on the ice made me feel free. I stopped when I went to college and my life became one achievement after another. Magna cum laude from college. Summa cum laude from law school, getting the best job, being at the top of my associate class so I could stay on partner track, starting my own firm and, well, you know the rest. But now I think I should have kept up with it. I forget how much I miss skating until I do it, and I don’t do it nearly enough. Skating makes my brain quiet in a way that nothing ever has until…” I trail off, realizing something for the first time.
Asher cups my cheek and tips my face up so my eyes meet his. “Until what, Juliette?”
I swallow hard. “Until you. When I'm with you my brain is quiet, when in the rest of my life it is so, so loud. You make me feel like it’s okay to be whoever I need to be. You make me feel free.”
“Juliette,” he says quietly, eyes swirling with emotion. He looks at me for another few seconds, gliding his thumb over my bottom lip before leaning forward and kissing me deeply, his free hand sliding around my waist to pull me flush against him as his tongue strokes over mine. Every move of his mouth stokes the fire in my belly, and I press closer, needing to feel every inch of him against me. His arm tugs me even tighter against him, and I grind my hips to his, feeling his hard cock so close to my core it makes me dizzy.
Still kissing me senseless, he reaches down and hikes one of my legs up over his hip. His cock settles right against my clit, and I roll my hips, licks of pleasure sparking out my limbs. I could come just like this . Fully clothed, wearing ice skates, on the edge of a frozen pond right out in the open where anyone could walk by. I don’t hate that nearly as much as I should, and it’s that thought that has me breaking the kiss. I pull back just enough to look Asher in the eye and give him the only thought currently in my head.
“Ash. We need to go inside. I want you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me. Now. Right now.”
Asher’s gaze turns molten. In two seconds flat he has my ass on the bench, pulling the skates from my feet and replacing them with my boots, which he ties himself. He deals with his own skates, then grabs both pairs with one hand and wraps his other arm around my waist, tossing me a wink that has me contemplating dropping to my knees in front of him right there in the snow.
“How fast can you walk, Juliette?”
Asher closes the door to our room and tosses the winter gear we stripped off on our run up the stairs onto the floor. We kick off our boots, and he presses me back against the door with his hips, reaching behind me to flip the lock. He doesn’t kiss me, just hovers his lips over mine.
“You were gorgeous skating on that pond, Juliette. Nothing has ever turned me on more than watching you fly around the ice. If I wasn’t afraid my dick would freeze, I would have stripped you down and fucked you right there.”
“I would have let you,” I gasp out, as he leans down and licks a stripe from my collar bone to my ear, taking my earlobe between his teeth and biting gently, before soothing the spot with his tongue and grazing his teeth along the sensitive skin behind my ear. I press my thighs together needing something, anything, to relieve the ache between my legs.
When he speaks, his lips graze my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
“I just bet you would have. Julie Parker on the outside, the brilliant, put together lawyer who never makes a mistake and never makes a mess. And Juliette on the inside, wild, free, a little dirty. Rides my face and sucks my cock like a dream; wants me to slide inside her and fuck her until she’s screaming my name. And I’m the only one who gets to have both parts of you. All of you. Every single beautiful inch of you is mine. Is that what you want, Juliette? You want to be mine?”
He slides his hands down my hips and around to cup my ass, yanking me against him so I feel every inch of his hard body against mine. My head falls back and knocks against the door as my entire body thrums for him .
“I’m already yours,” I choke out. “I’ll never be anyone’s except for yours.”
“Good answer.”
He grabs the hem of my sweater and pulls it up and over my head, throwing it on the floor. My bra follows, and then he’s palming both of my breasts, leaning down and circling one of my nipples with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth while he rolls the other one between his thumb and forefinger. I gasp, grabbing onto his hips as sensations pummel me. He lifts his head and looks at me.
“Tell me what you want, Juliette. You want me to lick that sweet pussy again before I slide inside you? Or do you want to ride my fingers until you come all over my hand?”
But even as I let out a low moan, I feel my brain start to race at his questions and my stomach sinks. I thought after last night and this morning, this wouldn’t happen. Not with him. Asher has seen every inch of me, and he obviously likes what he sees, so why can’t I shut my brain off and enjoy this? I feel so safe with Asher. I want this. I just don’t want to fucking think, for once. Then I have an idea.
I slide my hands up to tangle in the hair at the back of his neck. “Do you think you can do something for me?”
“Literally anything. Just ask.”
I take a deep breath. “Can you…take control? Like, total control. Don’t ask me any questions. Don’t ask me to make any decisions. Just tell me what to do.” I cringe a little, frustrated with myself for not being able to say this more coherently, but I hope he understands.
I think he does when he takes my mouth in a deep fever of kiss before pulling away.
“You want me to boss you around a little, Juliette?”
“That’s exactly what I want you to do. I told you last night it’s hard for me to turn my brain off during sex. Last night and this morning you helped me do it. I never feel safe enough to give up control to anyone, which is why I never stop thinking. But I feel safe with you. I trust you, Asher. I want this with you. More than I’ve ever wanted it with anyone.”
He leans his forehead against mine and takes a deep breath, as if gathering the tattered pieces of his control.
“Okay.”