Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
OSCAR
“Are you gonna make me hike?” Freya pouts from the passenger seat of my truck. “Because I really don’t think I’m dressed for it.”
I laugh, looking down at her red patent leather shoes. They seem like such a sharp contrast against the beat-up floors and cracked leather of my truck.
“No hiking, I swear.” I throw her an indulgent smile.
“You’d better not be lying to me.”
I reach over and squeeze her thigh. “I would never.”
“Good.” She crosses her arms with a little huff and I have to force myself not to laugh. Fuck, she’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s been a week since she showed up at my door, and I’ve just about managed to make myself believe it.
“It’ll be worth the drive.”
We continue on in silence, the rumble of the truck the only sound in the cab. This far into the mountains the road is more of a gravel track, but Freya isn’t fazed by the occasional jolts as we hit larger rocks.
As soon as I hear her gasp, I know she’s seen it.
I look over to see her leaning forward, her nose almost pressed against the windscreen in an effort to get closer. I grin as I take in her rapt expression. “It’s something, huh?”
“Oscar,” she breathes, only glancing my way for a second. I match her eyeline and take in the view. I didn’t know how much I was missing.
This place has been the site of some of my happiest memories, but it’s been a long time.
Nestled at the foot of the mountains, the sun reflects off the crystal-clear water of the lake, the waves lapping gently at the rocky shoreline. Trees surround it on all sides, giving it the feeling of being tucked away, like we’re the only two people left in the world.
I pull the truck into the small parking lot. We’re still in that sweet spot where it’s warm enough to enjoy, but not quite late enough that the schools have let out yet.
I’ve been wanting to bring her up here for a long time. I want her to know all the parts of me that I push away. Maybe with her, I can start learning to love it up here again.
I climb out and round the hood, smiling to myself when I see Freya still frozen, eyes glued to the view.
“You need a minute?” I smirk as I open her door.
“This is…” She blinks once, twice.
I smile down at her, warmth flooding my chest. “Thought you might want to see some of the highlights of living in Colorado again.”
She finally looks up at me, her face so soft. “I think I already know what the highlights are.”
My stomach flips over, and it’s all I can do not to drag her out of the truck just so I can press her against it.
“Come on.” I take her by the hand and help her out.
The gravel crunches under her shoes as she stands beside me and I can’t help myself.
I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her into a long kiss.
Fuck, I can’t get enough of her. The three days when I thought she might not want me anymore were fucking torture.
Now that I’ve got her back, I want to pull her into my arms and not let her out for years.
Her cheeks flush a delicious shade of red when I move to grab my backpack off the bench seat and sling it over my shoulder.
“Shall we?” I offer her my arm, which she grips tightly.
“You gonna tell me what we’re doing here?”
“Nope,” I say, holding back my grin. She rolls her eyes, but gamely follows as I lead her toward the thin strip of beach.
“This place is incredible,” she says with a soft smile. She grabs her phone and takes a picture. “Luci’s gonna be so jealous.” I watch her type out a message, attaching the image.
“We can bring her when she visits.” I’m excited to meet Freya’s friend, even if it sort of scares the hell out of me.
“Oh, that would be such a great day out.” She types something into her notes. “I’m adding it to the list of things I want to show her.”
It’ll be good to come here like it’s normal, just another pretty place to have a day out with friends.
“I used to come here all the time with my dad.” My throat stings a little the way it always does when I talk about him, but it feels good this time. I want Freya to know him, to know the kind of man he was. I just wish she would have gotten to meet him.
“Yeah?”
I nod. “My mom never came, it was always just us. He used to call them our ‘boys’ days.’”
“What did you guys do?”
“Depends on the day.” I shrug. “Sometimes we’d play catch.
If the weather was really nice, we had a rowboat that we’d take out.
Mostly we just talked.” It’s strange to talk about him, like opening a door that’s long rusted shut.
But now that there’s light coming through the cracks, I don’t want to close it again.
“Do you still have the boat?”
I hum in confirmation, even as my chest pangs.
“Maybe we could take it out sometime.” She presses a kiss to my shoulder and I swear I can feel the heat of her lips through my jacket.
I have to clear my throat against the tightness that forms. “I’d really like that.” I pull her even closer and kiss the top of her head, loving the way she melts into me.
When we hit the beach, Freya pauses to slip off her shoes, her toes wiggling into the sand. I do the same. Usually I hate the gritty feeling of sand on my feet, but it’s hard not to get swept up in the contagious joy she emanates.
She starts toward the water, tugging me with her. When we’re a couple of meters away, she turns, her face stricken. Panic lances through me. “What’s wrong?” I demand.
“I didn’t bring a swimsuit.”
I chuckle, swinging the bag off my shoulder and opening it enough that she can see inside. “You think I’d surprise you with a lake trip and wouldn’t bring you a suit?”
“Did you go through my closet?” She looks at me in mock affront.
I just smirk. “It was very enlightening.”
“Oscar!” She gives my chest a smack. I just grab her hand and pull her into me for another kiss.
She reaches into the bag with a little huff and grabs the red halter-neck swimsuit I found in her top drawer. Even seeing it folded up had all the blood rushing towards my cock, and the thought of her in it is almost enough to make my knees buckle.
Freya looks around, scanning our surroundings. “I’m going to change,” she says, gesturing toward the tree line. “Stay here.”
“I don’t get to watch?” I pout.
She laughs despite herself. “No, you cannot.”
“Not even a peek?” I tease.
Her cheeks flush, and her eyes take on a mischievous glint. “Maybe just a little one.”
I loop my arms around her waist with a growl, lifting her off the sand and spinning her around.
She squeals, her legs kicking to get away.
When I finally release her, she’s panting, her usually perfectly styled hair falling around her face in messy waves.
I fucking love her like this, all undone for me.
She walks away from me, putting more of a sway into her hips, and I stare after her, tongue practically lolling out of my mouth.
Jesus, Murphy. You bring her up here to show her this place, maybe talk about your dad, and you can’t keep it together for five minutes?
Whilst she’s gone, I get to work on our setup, spreading the blanket out on the sand and unpacking the snacks and drinks I brought. By the time I hear her heading back this way, I’ve got everything laid out.
I hear Freya approaching and turn, my stomach dropping as I take her in. The bright red of the swimsuit sets off her pale skin, highlighting the freckles I’ve only recently learnt spread all the way down to her stomach.
“Shit,” I breathe, letting my eyes trail over every inch of her. She giggles nervously, a flush rising to her chest, almost bright enough to rival her suit color. “Get over here.”
She shuffles closer and I snag her hand, tugging her close enough to grip her hips and press her against me.
“Look at you,” I murmur against her lips, right before taking them in a slow kiss.
Fuck, the taste of her. I’ll never be able to get enough of this.
I’ll go to my grave dreaming of one last brush of her mouth.
She gives as good as she gets, the strokes of her tongue matching mine as I lick into her.
Eventually, she pulls away with a huff of air.
When she takes in my face, a sheepish grin steals over her expression.
“You got some…” She trails off, gesturing toward my face, where I’m sure her ever-present red lipstick has made a real sight out of me.
Somehow, there’s only the tiniest smudge at the edge of her Cupid’s bow that I swipe away with the tip of my finger.
I run the back of my hand over my mouth, raising my eyebrows in question.
“Good?” I ask.
“Not quite.” She smirks and I pull out my phone to properly assess the damage.
Hell, she’s made a complete mess of me. Red stains smear the tip of my nose, my chin.
How did she manage that? I do my best to rub the evidence away, though a part of me loves having her mark on my skin, like she’s staking a claim.
“Sit down, you little terror.” I coax her to sit on the blanket and take the spot beside her. She stretches out her long legs, face tipped up to enjoy the warmth of the sun. I join her, pulling off my shirt and leaning back on my hands.
“When were you last here?” she asks, not looking at me.
I grab a sandwich from one of the Tupperware I packed and thrust it towards her. She takes it, eyeing me carefully. She knows exactly what I’m doing. She takes a bite, letting me have a second.
How is it that she can cut right to it without even trying? I know that it’s what I wanted when we came up here, but now, faced with actually opening my mouth and saying it, I don’t know if I can.
“I haven’t been here since he died,” I say hoarsely. “Since, well… since the day he died, actually.”
I hear Freya’s intake of breath, but I don’t turn to look at her.
I’m not sure I can. Not before I get this out.
“He, uh… we were out in the boat and he started getting this headache. It all happened so fast, and he was suddenly lying in the bottom while I was trying to get us back to the beach, but I couldn’t row us fast enough. ”
It hits me again like a flood. Fucking hell, why did I think that was a good idea?
I want to double over with the force of it, but I feel Freya moving closer, her cool hand cupping the back of my neck, keeping me grounded.
“Oscar, baby,” she whispers. “God, I’m so sorry.
I don’t know what to say.” She strokes her thumb across my skin, waiting until I’m ready to talk again.
“It was a stroke,” I choke out. I just need to finish. “I should have… I mean, I’ve got all this training, but I couldn’t…”
“No, no, no,” she says, cupping my cheeks and turning my face to hers. I didn’t realize a tear had escaped until she wipes it away. “You can’t think like that, there’s nothing you could have done.”
“What if I missed something? There might have been signs, but I was so fucking busy with work, I just…” I hadn’t seen my dad much in the weeks leading up to it, I’d been so focused on work and trying to climb the ranks as fast as possible. I let everything else fade into the background.
“Oscar, you have to stop torturing yourself. Your dad wouldn’t want you to be thinking like this.”
I let my head fall forward, the fight going out of me.
I bury my face in Freya’s hair and revel in her comfort as she strokes my back, whispering gentle words into my ear.
I let the weight of everything I’ve been holding flow out of me, knowing I can let her take some of it, even if it’s just for a little while.
“Fuck.” I sniff, finally feeling like I can come up for air. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for today to turn into such a downer.”
“Don’t apologize,” she says sternly. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
I nod, even though I don’t know how much I really feel it.
“Do you want to go?” she asks. “We don’t have to be here if it’s going to make you feel like this.”
“No.” I rub a hand over my face, clearing away the last of my tears. “I want to stay. I used to love this place so much, and I want to be able to feel that again.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Alright, then.” She rubs her thumb over the apple of my cheek and I smile into her touch, the feeling of her soft hands on me clearing away any lingering shadows. I brought Freya here to make some good memories, to help reclaim the place that had once been my safe space.
She leans forward, her lips taking mine in a slow kiss. I can’t stop myself from deepening it, my arms wrapping around her waist like a life buoy.
I know she’s not ready to say it back to me, but I love her so fucking much. I’m not in a hurry, I’m in this for the long game.
She breaks away, her eyes glinting. “Come on.” She stands, pulling me up with her and then we’re running towards the water.
I have to laugh—it’s like something out of a cheesy movie—but the joy coming off of Freya is infectious.
She so rarely lets herself loose like this, and it’s a privilege to see.
We make it until the water is up to our knees before Freya squeals, pulling her hand from my grip. I turn to her, seeing her face twisted in a grimace.
“What?” I reach for her, taking her elbows. “What is it?”
“Oh my God, you asshole!” She leaps away from me, the water splashing as she jumps around. “How is it this cold?”
I can’t help the laugh that erupts out of me as she dances around, trying to keep her feet out of the water. It warms up in the summer, but it’s still fed by snow melt.
I try to grab her but she moves away. I don’t know what she’s trying to achieve, but all she’s doing is soaking the both of us.
Eventually, I have to intervene. I bend and wrap an arm around her thighs so that I can hoist her out of the water and over my shoulder.
Her squeal breaks off into a screech as she finds herself upside down.
“Oscar! What are you doing?”
“Did you want me to leave you in there?” I laugh.
“Is this an occupational hazard of dating a firefighter?” she grumbles, giving up on her squirming.
“You know, some people would probably call this a perk.”
I almost drop her as I feel a sharp pinch on one of my ass cheeks.
She giggles. “I guess I can get behind it.”