Chapter Sixteen
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”
Jim Morrison
Jack
“Those pictures of Ivy and you in the snow are priceless. I printed some out. I thought you could add them to the photo album you’re making for her.” Jaquelyn slid the photos Tae had taken, which were already all over the internet that morning, across a large table in her craft room.
I thought about the headlines that had accompanied said photos. Headlines that were making Tori almost giddy.
Hollywood’s Hottest Heartthrob is in Love
Sorry, Ladies, Mr. Holiday is off the Market
Scratch Mr. Holiday off Your Christmas Wish List
I was glad Ivy’s mom was taking it so well that I had exposed her daughter to a darker side of fame. Thankfully, Tae had lived up to his reputation and the photos and headlines told the truth. I was in love and off the market.
Now, if I could just convince Ivy of that and that she was the only thing on my Christmas wish list. But it was proving harder than I’d expected.
The night before, while Ivy lay in my arms, all she could do was lament how hard it was to have her life play out for the world to see.
Worse, she hated lying to her family, and she was so afraid they would find out and hate her for it.
Especially after her lawyer sister and brother-in-law had made it their personal mission to face Tae Cho in a courtroom.
That was never happening. Even if Tae had violated any laws, he’d happily pay whatever fine it entailed. The pictures he’d sold yesterday were worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.
But I didn’t think he’d be coming back for more after having to run for his life the day before.
And according to Shane, several snowballs had hit their mark.
Tae probably had some bruises. Admittedly, I had some from yesterday’s snowball fight, but I would never let Shane or Drew know that.
I didn’t want to appear weak in their eyes.
As far as Tae was concerned, it served him right.
While he was a decent guy, he had no business hiding in trees and taking pictures of Ivy and me.
I didn’t care if the forest was public land.
Ivy was a private person who hadn’t asked for her life to be put on display.
She was only doing it to protect me. For which I was feeling increasingly guilty.
If only I could tell her my feelings weren’t pretend, but I was beginning to doubt what hers were.
Not to sound arrogant, but any other woman would have succumbed to me by now.
Hell, we were sleeping in the same bed, and she had managed to keep her hands to herself.
How was this possible? Sure, she’d kissed me out of the blue the day before, but maybe it really had been just a slipup on her part.
If she were really in love with me, she would have told the truth by now to ease her conscience. Either that or she was the most stubborn woman in the world. I wasn’t sure which scenario bothered me more.
Was she so hellbent on proving that men and women could just be friends that she would miss out on what would clearly be the best relationship either of us had ever had?
Or maybe she was truly afraid of ruining our friendship. Not to mention she obviously didn’t like my public life.
How could we overcome that?
I grabbed the photo of Ivy and me kissing in the snow. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. All I saw was one—love.
Maybe for Ivy it was just platonic love, but I wasn’t ready to accept that. We felt too real and right.
“I can’t get over how in love you two look in that one. It’s so romantic,” Jaquelyn remarked, patting her heart.
Her words breathed some hope into me. Granted, she was wearing an elf sweater by choice, so I had to take her opinion with a grain of salt.
I wore mine out of duress and desperation to prove how much I loved Ivy. But outside of the holidays, Jaquelyn appeared to be sane. So, if she could see how in love we were, it had to be true.
“I’m sorry that your family has had to deal with my fame.”
Jaquelyn waved a hand dismissively. “It’s no bother. You’re part of the family now. Besides, Paige and Peter will make sure it never happens again.”
Ivy was right; they were a tad on the scary side. I probably should have considered dumping my legal team and hiring them. Except mixing family with business wasn’t always the best idea. Especially in Hollywood. This was assuming they would ever be my family.
“I’m not so good at the family thing,” I admitted.
Not sure why I said that out loud, especially since I wanted to marry her daughter.
I wasn’t exactly giving her a ringing endorsement of my abilities.
But maybe I was just desperate to believe Jaquelyn—that I was part of their family.
Or any family, for that matter. All I’d really had was my Grandma Ruth, and though she’d tried her best, she’d had her demons, too.
Jaquelyn reached across the table and rested her delicate hand over mine.
“Jack,” she said with motherly tenderness.
“As far as I can tell, you’re a pro at it.
The way you are with my grandchildren, and especially my daughter .
. . I don’t know what happened in your past with your family, but you are obviously not letting it define you.
In fact, I think it’s made you a better person. ”
My chest tightened. I wasn’t one to cry or get emotional, except when a role called for it, but my eyes stung anyway. I wanted her words to be true. I wanted to feel like I deserved Ivy.
“I’ve done things in my past I’m not proud of,” I admitted. The words slipped out, a confession I hadn’t meant to make.
I expected Jaquelyn to look away, disappointed or even abhorred. At the very least, to pull her hand back. Instead, she held my hand tighter.
“Oh, honey, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. Welcome to the club.”
“You don’t understand.” The words felt like sandpaper in my mouth, but I had to say them. “I was arrested for shoplifting food when I was sixteen. And I was kicked out of school a few times for fighting.”
She didn’t flinch. Instead, her eyes welled with tears. “You must have been hungry.”
“I was,” I felt embarrassed to admit. I was so ashamed of that time in my life. “But that was no excuse.”
Jaquelyn shook her head. “It’s sounds like the perfect one to me. I’m so sorry, Jack. Sorry you didn’t have any adults to love and take care of you when you were a child.” She paused, then beamed at me. “Yet you still turned into an amazing man. I admire you. Thank you for sharing with me.”
What?
“You admire me? Did you hear what I said?” I had to make sure.
“Yes,” she laughed. “Sorry if you were trying to scare me away. It won’t work.” She winked. “You’re stuck with our family now.”
I sat back and blew out a long, slow breath. A weight lifted off me. But Jaquelyn’s acceptance and love still perplexed me. I basically just told her a criminal was in love with her daughter.
Thankfully, because I’d been a juvenile, the court had sealed those records. Still, I couldn’t forget the mistakes I’d made.
“Let’s make Ivy a photo album,” she chirped cheerily, like I hadn’t just confessed to my crimes. “Then we’ll head to the shelter in Carson City to hand out gifts and serve food.”
I stared at her in awe at the sheer ease of her kindness. It was no wonder Ivy was so amazing. She clearly had the best teacher.
“I would never intentionally do anything to hurt Ivy.” I thought Jaquelyn should know, seeing as I’d just told her I had a criminal past. One the press would love to find out about.
Tori knew and already had the perfect spin prepared. If that story ever hit the light of day, she would make sure any press release framed me as the underdog who had risen above his circumstances.
Jaquelyn gave me a warm smile. “I believe you.”
Part of me had a hard time believing her, even though I wanted to. My father had never believed me, or in me. And my mother left when I was so young, she obviously hadn’t either. I supposed it made sense that I didn’t know how to accept this kind of love.
Did Ivy feel that from me? Did she sense the part I still held back?
Was that why she couldn’t give me all of herself? Because she was afraid I wouldn’t give all of me? Not just the good stuff, but the hard stuff, too?
The nights I’d gone to bed hungry.
The fistfights.
The parts of my past I tried to bury beneath the charm of Mr. Holiday and the box office numbers.
What if she wasn’t only afraid of losing us or being in the spotlight? What if she was afraid of being shut out? Of giving everything to someone who didn’t trust her with the worst of him?
What if she was right?
That question—it gutted me.
But my gut had been whispering the same damn thing for seven years—Ivy and I belonged together.
So, there would be no more evading or sidestepping her questions about my past. And I was finally going to give her a gift that mattered, not just some impersonal last-minute gift card.
I was going to lay my heart out on the line with this photo book.
There would be no question how I felt about her come Christmas morning.
The thought scared the hell out of me. But Ivy deserved to know the truth. All of it. Including that I was in love with her. And that she was absolutely wrong about men and women being able to be friends. I would probably wait to rub that in later.
I looked Jaquelyn squarely in the eye and forced myself to accept what she was offering me—a chance to be part of a family.
“Thank you,” I responded, meaning every word.
“Shall we get to work?” she asked, smiling.
I nodded, knowing this gift had to be my best work yet.