Chapter Twenty-Two
“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
Elbert Hubbard
Ivy
I sat on the couch in the middle of the night, aimlessly scrolling through my phone.
Trying not to think about the fact that there were paparazzi camped out in the freezing temps on the perimeter of my parents’ property.
Or that said paparazzi had somehow gotten my number and were calling me for interviews.
How did I try to keep my mind off this?
I’d decided to do a little light reading. As in, I was reading every article and post about the love triangle I was apparently a part of. Not to mention all of Jack’s PR team’s denials about Sienna and Jack reconciling.
I never thought I’d be both a headline and a punchline.
Some of the headlines were downright ridiculous.
Holiday Heartbreak
Silver Bells and Scandals
Who came up with these?
If they only knew my sister wanted to dissolve Jack in Coke. I could picture that headline now: Exclusive: Paige Montenero Threatens to Dissolve Jack in Coke—Sources Say She’s Not Kidding.
I would be that source. I giggled, even though I was more depressed than ever. Honestly, I was getting pretty good at writing fake headlines. Maybe I’d missed my calling.
But none of this changed the fact that I’d ruined Christmas, and now, I was stuck on the couch in the family room wearing the Grinch hat of shame and probably giving myself glaucoma from staring at my phone screen for too long in the dark.
It seemed so backward that Mom and Dad didn’t want Jack and me to sleep in the same room now that they knew we really weren’t sleeping together. Which wasn’t to say I didn’t appreciate the space from him at the moment.
Admittedly, I found it easier to keep reading about Jack and Sienna’s destined reunion than to deal with my feelings about Jack being in love with me.
Actually in love, not fake in love—assuming he was telling the truth.
It was hard to tell. Especially since I’d let my feelings cross a line.
I blamed it all on his kissing and oxytocin.
So yeah, it was much easier to drown myself with reminders that everyone saw Jack and Sienna as Hollywood’s golden couple. They even had a couple name—Port Holiday. So ridiculous.
Then again . . . so was I.
I curled deeper into the couch and pulled the Grinch hat of shame over my face, hoping it might smother the memories of all the stupid things I’d done over the last few days. The least of which was making out with Jack any chance I could get. The worst of it being that I’d lied to my family.
Hardly anyone said a word to me, except for Kaden and Graham, who thought they could swindle me out of money by playing blackjack. As if I couldn’t see through that little con. I was going to have to talk to my brother Drew about his sons.
Then again, I had no right calling out the little schemers, considering I’d just spent the better part of a week trying to con my entire family into believing Jack and I were a couple. I had zero moral ground to stand on.
What was I even thinking?
“Is this floor taken?”
Jack startled me. I peeked out from under the Grinch hat of shame, only to find him standing there holding a blanket and pillow, in his own ridiculous version of the hat of shame—green fuzz, drooping brim, and that evil Grinchy smile stretched across the front like it knew everything.
I stifled a smile.
If only the press could see this—Mr. Holiday in snow globe pajamas and a hat of humiliation.
Unfortunately, none of it dimmed the infuriating fact that he was still stupidly hot.
“Jack, go back to bed.”
He dropped the pillow and blanket to the floor. “Ivy, we need to talk.”
“I don’t want to.”
That sounded really mature.
“Fine.” He made himself a bed on the floor, right next to the couch.
After a few minutes of silence, I peeked over the edge of the couch to find him lying there staring at the ceiling.
“What are you doing?”
“I just want to be next to you.”
“Oh, no, you’re not going to be sweet,” I said, my voice catching.
“What do you want me to be?”
“I don’t know.” I pulled the blanket over my head and sank deeper into the couch, like I could hide from all of it—especially my own feelings.
The silence stretched between us, only broken by sighs and shifting fabric.
Jack caved first. “Ivy, please tell me you know I would never kiss Sienna. I would never hurt anyone like that, especially you.”
“Then why didn’t you just tell me when it happened?” I mumbled under the covers.
“I was going to, but when I got back, you looked so vulnerable. And I knew how hard this had all been on you. Then when you kissed me, it was different. It’s what I’d been waiting for.”
I stilled.
Because no matter how hard I tried to outrun it, the truth was, we were going to have to talk about all the feelings I’d been avoiding.
But I was confused. Okay, and scared. Whatever was between Jack and me now, it was no longer safe, and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I wanted the safety net back.
“I was just trying to be a good pretend girlfriend, making sure I was doing our kissing scenes justice.”
Okay, so I was still trying to avoid all the feelings.
“Then why were you crying so hard when you thought I cheated on you?”
“Because I was afraid my best friend was a cheater. I mean, what does that say about me?”
Yep, still dodging the feelings, hardcore.
“You’re lying, Ivy,” he said softly.
I threw the covers off my head and popped up. “How do you know?”
Jack sat up straight, and even in the dark, I could see that his eyes were sparking and ready for this battle of wills.
“Because I know you. And I know you wouldn’t even contemplate leaving Muse and Mane and becoming my personal stylist if you didn’t have feelings for me.”
I hadn’t exactly told him I was contemplating it. But I hadn’t outright told him no, which was saying something.
“Of course I have feelings for you. You’re my best friend.”
“Ivy, why do you have to be so damn stubborn about this? Why can’t you just face the truth?”
“What truth?” I snapped, the feelings simmering at the surface, begging to be unleashed, no matter how much I wanted to keep them inside.
“The truth about how you’ve been lying to me for the last seven years about how you really feel?
Or that we walked through doors we probably shouldn’t have?
Or that it feels like you tricked me into a fake relationship?
Or how about that I’m a laughingstock all over the world right now? Take your pick, Mr. Holiday.”
“Don’t call me that, Ivy. That’s not who I am to you.”
Guilt washed over me like a tsunami. It was just easier for me right now to think of him that way. It hurt less. I didn’t have deep feelings for Mr. Holiday—just for Jack.
Jack grabbed my hand and refused to let go. Not that I put up much opposition to it—my tug was feeble at best. Emotionally and physically, I was spent.
He brushed his thumb across my skin, coaxing my feelings out.
But I still had a little fight left in me. I closed my eyes in a last-ditch effort to hide from them.
“Ivy,” he whispered. “First of all, I’m sorry about the Sienna situation. I should have just run the other way when I saw her. It was a rookie mistake. But I swear I’ll fix it.”
“How?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m still working it out. Right now, my focus is fixing things with you. I love you.”
I stopped breathing for a moment, letting those three huge words hang between us. I slowly pulled my eyes open.
Jack was ready and waiting for me.
I wished I were ready.
“I think maybe you’re just confused. All this pretending opened new doors that should have stayed closed.”
“The only thing I’m confused about is why you’re continuing to avoid this. I love you. I’ve always loved you. Period.”
“Then why didn’t you say something seven years ago?” I whined. “Or maybe even before you talked me into being your fake girlfriend?”
Jack cradled my hand between his own. “Because even now, when I’m trying to tell you the truth, you don’t want to hear it. Why?”
I bit my lip, feeling my insides knotting.
“Because we were supposed to stay friends,” I whispered. “Friends are safe. Friends don’t get followed by paparazzi or attacked by influencers or . . . trashed online by people like Sienna.”
Jack took a moment to think before he responded, but I could practically hear the wheels spinning in his head.
“You want me to leave the limelight and quit? Done. And as far as us being safe, there are no guarantees in life. But I don’t want to miss out on what I know would be the best relationship of our lives because we’re afraid it might end. ”
I stilled, stunned by what he was willing to give up for me.
“Ivy,” he breathed out, low and sure. “I want to wake up to you every morning in our bed. Even if it’s a bunk bed.”
I giggled even though what Jack was saying scared the living daylights out of me. “I would never ask you to change your life like that for me. You love being Mr. Holiday.”
“I love you more.”
A few tears leaked out of my eyes. “I don’t know what to think about that.”
And I didn’t. I hadn’t expected this. Sure, I’d entertained my feelings. But it had seemed a lot less scary before Jack started throwing the L word around.
Jack, in a swift move, joined me on the couch.
His strong, warm hand landed on my cheek.
“I know you’ve felt something for me on this trip.
And I’m sorry if you feel like I tricked you into being my fake girlfriend.
It wasn’t my intention when I asked to spend the holidays with you—at least not the fake part.
But when Sienna showed up at the airport and I panicked and told her we were together, I thought maybe if you could see how good we were as a couple in a pretend situation, you would realize you loved me, too.
Because I know you do,” he said so cockily it should be a felony.
“Jack, I don’t know what to feel right now. You ripped the safety net right out from under me, and I feel like I’m free-falling, and the world is literally watching me do it. All while I’m wearing a Grinch hat and snow globe pajamas. It kind of does something to a girl.”
But . . . was Jack right? Was I in love with him?
Oh, gosh, I wasn’t sure I could think about it.
Especially right now, when Sienna kissing Jack was making front-page news and I was becoming a household name for all the wrong reasons.
Not to mention, my family wasn’t all that happy with me for lying to them.
And I worried that maybe I’d just gotten caught up in all the pretending and I didn’t know what was real anymore.
Jack dropped his hand and sighed. “I know. I’ve thrown a lot at you. For that, I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry for loving you or for the last several days. They’ve been the best of my life.”
“Jack,” I whispered.
He tugged on my shirt and drew me to him, our lips almost touching. “Please, Ivy. Give us a chance. Or at least think about it.”
Oh, it was all I would be thinking about.
Jack’s lips skimmed mine.
His kiss was lethal and had me wanting to give into it, especially now when I knew he really wanted me. But it would only muddle my brain.
I needed to think through this. Think about what a life as Jack’s girlfriend would look like.
And yes, Mr. Holiday’s girlfriend, too. Could I handle all the public scrutiny?
Did I even want to? And what happened if we broke up?
It would devastate me. Could we even go back to being just friends now?
Dang that Oscar Wilde. I didn’t want to prove him right.
I pulled away from Jack. “Oh, no, no, no, we are not kissing. Kissing is like your superpower, and you will not use it against me.”
Jack chuckled, pleased with himself. “Superpower, huh?”
“Don’t get an even bigger head over it. You know what women say about your kissing.”
“I only care what you think about it.”
“I think it’s gotten us into a lot of trouble.” I tugged on his Grinch hat. “Now hit the floor and let me toss and turn in peace.”
He kissed my cheek and lingered. “As you wish.”
I nudged him away before I changed my mind and asked him to share the couch. As soon as he dropped to the floor, I curled into myself beneath the blanket, heart thrumming, head pounding.
The Mr. Holiday Show had turned into a real zinger.
The question now was: Did I want the role of leading lady?