Chapter Eight
The smell of the steaming plate of chicken Alfredo in front of Matty made her mouth water. She couldn’t wait to dig in, but first she had to get her dinner date set up.
Pushing her plate to the side, she motioned across the table. “Would you like me to cut the steak for you and fix your potato?”
Kenny nodded, closing his eyes while letting out a little laugh. “Yes, please.”
She reached across to grab the plate, its edges warming her fingers.
One thing she had learned from her dinner dates with Kenny was that food like steak needed to be cut into small pieces, as he never learned how to cough things up.
If he were to choke, he wouldn’t be able to clear his airway.
He couldn’t coordinate his hands well enough to do it himself, but he was perfectly capable of feeding himself once the plate was prepared.
The steak was incredibly tender. She could have probably used a butter knife to cut it. “This steak looks great.”
“Is it pink?”
She held up a piece. It was cooked to his favorite temperature, medium rare. “Yep, just the way you like it. Do you want salt and pepper on the potato?”
“Yeah.”
Quickly, she finished cutting the steak and mixed the butter and sour cream into the baked potato before handing it back. “Now make sure you eat that broccoli, otherwise Bette might kill us both.”
He laughed, the sound a little stuttered. “She likes green vegetables.”
“She does, and she wants you and your sister to eat more of them.”
He nodded, turning his attention first to the broccoli. She knew he would eat it first, so he could report back that he had a green side.
With Kenny settled, she could now dig into her own plate. She moaned out loud at the first bite. She loved pasta.
“Is that good?”
“Yes, it is very good. Do you want a bite?”
He shook his head, his eyes on his own plate.
She grinned. He never liked to share food. “So, are you excited for Kerrie and Bette’s engagement party?”
With a mouthful, she had to wait for him to finish before he answered her. “Yeah, Bette got me and Kerrie matching shirts. We match Bette’s dress.”
“That’s awesome. I bet you’ll look real sharp in it.”
“Yep.”
Her pocket buzzed. Shifting to one side, she removed her phone from her pants and looked at the screen.
“It’s Grams,” she answered at his curious look. “Hey, Grams.”
“Matty, what are you doing?”
Her shoulders drooped. She’d rather her evening out wasn’t ruined. It seemed like every time her grandmother called lately, it ended badly. “I’m having dinner with Kenny. It’s our monthly dinner date.”
“Oh, well, could you come by after you’re done? Bring Kenny with you. I haven’t seen him in a while. The smoke alarm has been beeping for hours. It’s about to drive me nuts. I’m afraid to climb up on the stepladder.”
“No, don’t try to do that. I’ll be right over when we’re done.”
“Thank you, baby. I don’t know what I’d do without my grandbabies.”
At one point in time, her words wouldn’t have caused Matty to pause. There would have been no questioning them. But now, after two years of growing clarity, she knew they were more. Intentional. Calculating. Words that once made her feel safe and warm now made her pause.
She hung up, putting the phone down on the table. A placating smile crossed her lips. “That was Grams. You want to go see her after this?”
Kenny’s eyes widened in joy. He liked how much the older woman doted on him. “Yeah, I do.”
“Okay, let me tell Kerrie we’ll be out a little longer.”
***
Their monthly dinner was something she looked forward to, as did Kenny.
Sometimes she thought he liked getting away from Kerrie, Bette, and Mabel for a while.
It was a way to feel independent from those who took care of him.
It wasn’t always dinner, though eating always happened.
Sometimes they’d go see a movie or a local entertainment event like a truck and tractor pull.
Anything they could enjoy sitting down for the majority of the time, as Kenny struggled to stand for long periods.
Since Matty didn’t have a vehicle, Kerrie would let her borrow her truck.
Or rather, his truck. Kenny maintained it was his, but he let Kerrie use it.
Matty didn’t argue. There was a unique balance of treating Kenny like an adult but also acknowledging Kerrie’s role as a caregiver.
It was her last word on where and what they did.
Thankfully, she trusted Matty, plus it gave her and Bette some alone time.
It was dark by the time they arrived at Grammy’s. Kenny usually went to bed early, so they wouldn’t be able to stay for very long, but they would visit for a little while.
“You got it?” she asked as Kenny slid out of the passenger seat.
He nodded but didn’t answer as he concentrated on walking on the cracked, uneven concrete of the driveway. It was in desperate need of replacing, but Grammy didn’t have the funds, nor did Matty suspect she cared. She no longer drove and rarely left the house outside of medical appointments.
For extra caution, she gently grabbed his elbow, guiding him to the back door and up the short set of stairs. They didn’t bother to knock.
Grammy’s shuffling feet accompanied her voice on the other side of the door. “Kenny! Come here, precious, let me see you.”
Matty couldn’t help but grin as she stepped inside to see her grandmother fawning all over Kenny, who was just eating up the attention. “Why don’t I get this kind of greeting?”
Kenny laughed with a stutter, rubbing up and over the crown of his head. “Hi, Grammy.”
“Here, come sit with me at the table while Matty works. We’ll have ice cream. I got a whole new tub of sugar-free butter pecan.”
A pitched beep echoed from somewhere deeper in the house.
“Do I get ice cream?” Matty asked in a teasing voice.
“Only after you fix that blasted thing. It’s gotten my nerves all twisted in a knot.”
Matty rolled her eyes but couldn’t help but chuckle at the bright smile on Kenny’s face as her grandmother turned her attention back to him.
She found the beeping smoke detector in the back bedroom that was once hers.
It held a lot of boxes now, but her metal-framed bed with a blue, green, and cream plaid comforter was still exactly as it should be.
The posters of Sum 41 and AFI still graced the yellow walls, and her shelf of books and magazines was still overflowing, waiting for someone to consume their contents again.
Pausing for just a moment, she let a small, sad smile tug at her lips. It felt like a lifetime ago when she would lock herself away in the room, leaving the world outside, and get lost in those books. So much had transpired since then.
She grabbed a chair from the cluttered desk. Not her clutter. Matty had always been a neat person, but it looked like Grams had decided it was the best place to discard unwanted clothing. She plucked the fire alarm off the ceiling before hopping back down to the floor.
When she returned to the kitchen to dig around in the junk drawer for where the extra batteries were kept, she wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Kenny sitting at the kitchen table, a big bowl of ice cream in front of him and Grammy tucking a dish towel in the collar of his shirt.
“How about I crumble up a couple of sugar cookies on top?”
“And why do you have sugar cookies?” Matty asked as she popped the old battery out to replace it.
Scoffing, Grams threw her a sharp look. “I only have one or two.”
“Right,” the word drawled out of her mouth slowly.
“Oh, hush and go get that hung back up.”
Chuckling, she did as she was told. It wasn’t long before she had completed her task, testing it twice just to be sure.
“Okay, so do I get a bowl now, or am I not good enough?” she teased, sitting herself down by Kenny. He was laser-focused on the bowl before him. It didn’t go unnoticed that sprinkles had been added.
“I suppose I should reward you for your hard work.”
The visit was nicer than her last time there. They chatted about their week, and for once, Grammy didn’t bring up Clay. It was a relief, to say the least.
“Sugar-free ice cream isn’t too bad,” Matty commented as she scraped the last bit of it from the bowl.
“It’s the Kroger brand. They have good sugar-free ice cream. Do you want any more?”
Matty shook her head. “I’m at my limit. How about you, Kenny?”
“I’m good.”
“Well then, let me get these bowls cleaned up.” Grammy went to grab them, but Matty stopped her.
“I got it. You sit.”
“Well, if you insist.”
Matty gathered the bowls and spoons before taking them to the sink to wash. As she turned the tap on to heat up, she thought it would be a good time to discuss the topic of taking the GED tests. Grammy was in a good mood, and she really wanted her support on the matter.
“I was thinking about doing something, and I want your opinion.”
“Oh, what is it?”
She shrugged one shoulder, suddenly nervous to verbalize her thoughts. She grabbed the soap. “I was thinking about maybe, uh, getting my GED.”
There was a long pause behind her. The only sound was the hum of the refrigerator. The silence stretched long enough to make the little flicker of excitement in her chest start to dim. She let out a breath when Grammy finally spoke. “Why would you do that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t see the point.”
Her shoulders tightened. Matty looked at the reflection in the dark window before her, the pair behind her showing up in the glass. “Because I don’t have a high school diploma.”
“Why do you need it? I don’t have one. Half our family don’t, and we’re all doing all right.”
“I don’t want to do just all right.”
“What are you talking about? You got a good job. A place to stay too.”
She rolled her eyes as she rinsed off one of the bowls to place it in the dish drainer.
“I just got lucky with both of those. Between my felony charge and no diploma, the only reason I have either is because of my boss and Kerrie. Tyler had to pull some serious strings to get me on. What if I lost the job? I wouldn’t be able to find another like it.
And Kerrie was nice enough to overlook my background.
Do you know how hard it is to get an apartment with a felony? ”
“It’s not like you can fix that.”
Matty tried her best not to toss the next bowl in the dish drainer out of frustration.
“But I can. My charge was a low-level drug charge. I can get it expunged at five years, and that will be in two months. Kerrie said she would help me with the paperwork, and it would only cost $100. Once I get that fixed and I have my GED, I won’t have to worry as much. I could apply for jobs anywhere.”
“Just feels like a waste of time to me. You’re doing just fine.” Grammy waved a hand like the whole thing was settled. “How is the day center going, Kenny? Are you still liking it?” she asked, changing the subject so easily it made Matty’s heart hurt.
They didn’t stay very long after that. Once again, Matty left the house feeling frustrated, but this time, shame mixed with it.
She had come in hoping, however foolishly, for a little support.
Instead, Grammy had made it sound like wanting more for herself was pointless.
Like it was silly to even try. By the time she pulled away from the house, the old doubt had already started creeping back in.
Maybe Grams was right. Maybe there was no point.