8. Chapter 8
As I park the car at Adam’s, I think about last night. When Loren opened the door, she was wearing a thick pink bathrobe over silk pajamas and pink slippers. She looked terrified, and she looked beautiful. Her pajama top had a V-neck collar, and I could see a chain around her neck holding three rings. They’re obviously her and Justin’s rings. She doesn’t wear them on her finger, but she still wears them on her heart.
I look down at my own ring. Julie’s engagement ring and wedding band are in a safety deposit box in the bank, along with some important documents. When Holly gets married, she will get her mother’s rings.
Loren is young and beautiful. She’s sweet and innocent, I think to myself, recalling a conversation I had with Adam over the phone the day after Justin died.
“Loren’s fiancé was killed in a car accident last night,” he said.
I knew Justin had been a part of the Linder family since he was a kid, and it must have affected everyone. What an immense loss.
“Please give everyone our deepest condolences,” I said. “How did it happen?”
“He was driving home from Harrisburg. It was late, and it had been storming all day. He was already living in the house he and Loren had bought. She knew something was wrong when he didn’t call to let her know he’d arrived safely.”
“Loren wasn’t living with him?” I asked. Realizing too late that it might have been an inappropriate question and none of my business.
“The Linder women are old-fashioned. They were waiting.” His response was short and straightforward, and I understood the implication. The fact that she carries those rings next to her heart tells me everything I need to know. Justin was her first love. Her only love and nothing has changed.
When Adam opens the door, I can smell blueberry muffins and coffee.
“Want a cup of coffee?” he asks.
I look over at Holly, sitting on a stool next to Tori. They’re chomping on some breakfast sausage patties.
“Hi, Daddy!”
“Hi, Princess. Did you sleep okay last night?”
“Yes, I did. Tori let me sleep on the top bunk this time,” she tells me between bites of sausage and muffin.
“Okay, finish eating so we can get going,” I tell her. “I have to pick up Mom and Dad from the airport this afternoon.
I can see Katherine coming down the hallway. “Do you want to take Holly with you,” she asks. “Or did you want to leave her with me?”
“Holly’s been practically living here since we moved. You might want to claim her as a dependent on your income taxes next year.”
“What’s a tenant, Daddy?” Holly asks.
“Exactly!” I say. Everyone laughs, and then I explain the different words to the girls. They both listen intently and then try to pronounce the words correctly, turning it into a song.
“I don’t mind picking her up from school at all. I’m going to take Tori to Loren’s studio this afternoon. You know they’ll have fun there. It’s better than sitting in a car for a few hours going there and coming back. Don’t you think?”
“Holly, do you want to stay with Aunt Katherine for a few hours this afternoon?”
“Yes, yes!” both girls say in unison.
After that’s settled, Katherine asks me how the housekeeper worked out.
“The house looks amazing and smells amazing,” I say. “Thank you.”
“Oh, good. So should I call and contract her to come in, what two, three times a week?”
“Yes, absolutely. Maybe Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?” I suggest.
“Perfect. I’ll give Gretchen a call,” Katherine says. “She’s been doing this for twenty-something years. She’s a pro. She used to come here when we were both working, but since I’ve been on maternity leave, I can do everything on my own.”
“You should still have her come in once or twice a week.” Adam adds, “I don’t want you to overdo it so late in your pregnancy.” He puts his arm around Katherine and pulls her in for a kiss.
“Knock it off, you two!” I say. “It’s like being stuck in the Sahara Desert and watching another man drink a bottle of cold water.” They both give me a look. “Sorry, I’m just jealous,” I say, raking my fingers over the stubble on my face.
“You letting a beard grow out, Bro?” Adam asks.
“No, I’m just embracing my old age.” I retort.
“Hey, hey, speak for yourself!” Katherine says. “Adam is only four years younger than you, and I’m sorry, but he’s in the best shape of his life.” She kisses Adam again.
Adam flexes his biceps and laughs before grabbing a muffin and taking a big bite.
Katherine laughs but then gives me a questioning glance.
“What?” I ask.
“When was the last time you went out on a date?”
“Nineteen years ago.”
They both look at me like I just gave the most ridiculous response ever in a foreign language.
“You mean to tell me you haven’t been on a date since Julie passed?” Katherine asks.
I shake my head and want to change the subject immediately, but I have already stepped into the conversation, so it’s too late. Right then, Holly runs in with her backpack resting over one shoulder. Holly to the rescue, yes!
“It’s time for us to go.” I smile, feeling a little sheepish.
“This conversation is not over, Mr. Baldwin,” Katherine says. I catch Adam giving her a little nudge on the side, trying to send her a subliminal message to stop teasing me.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m not thinking about that right now. Holly is the only woman I need in my life at the moment. She needs my undivided attention.”
“I agree, but her dad also needs a distraction, some time doing something fun. Don’t you agree, Adam?”
“Leave me out of this,” says Adam, giving Katherine a gentle squeeze, followed by a kiss on the cheek.
“Okay,” I say, “I’ll pick up Holly this evening so she can visit with her grandparents. They’re dying to see her.”
I take Holly to school and head to the office to finish some work, schedule some appointments, and make a few phone calls before leaving for the day at noon.
The drive to New York is therapeutic. It doesn’t take long before my thoughts go back to Loren. Katherine said she’d take the girls to her studio this afternoon. I think of Holly’s plate. My princess doesn’t realize her art project is already sitting on the entry table at home. I remember the scene she painted on it. She and I standing on the lawn in front of our new house and a big angel in the sky. Not bad for a four-year-old artist.
I haven’t been to the studio, but from what Adam has told me over the years, Loren was having a really tough time coping with her loss. After a year, she decided to quit her job and opened the studio. She named it Just In Clay Ceramics, an apropos play on words for her late fiancé’s name, Justin Clay. How close she got to becoming Mrs. Clay.
I look down at my wedding ring and remember the trio she wears around her neck. Someday, she’ll fall in love again. She deserves to find someone who will fill the void left by Justin. What they had was right out of a fairy tale until it turned into her worst nightmare.
All of a sudden, I have an overwhelming desire to hold her. To wrap my arms around her and protect her from the world. I remember the sweet and subtle scent of her perfume. She looked so small and vulnerable in that oversized robe. A tidal wave of guilt slams into me like a tsunami when I realize that for the first time in seventeen years, my wedding band reminded me of someone other than my wife.