40. Chapter 40
Chapter 40
Maci
F or an undetermined amount of time, I don’t respond to James. My brain is doing damage control and the best it can come up with right now is to keep me upright and breathing. Anything else is system overload.
James allows for a long silence to linger between us. Finally, he continues, softer than before. “So she didn’t tell you then.” His eyes soften. “I suspected as much at the bar.”
“You knew then?” I finally find my voice.
“Aye.”
“Can we—” I gesture to the porch swing, “—can we sit?”
He tips his chin in affirmation, reaching out subtly as I walk by. No doubt to catch me if I decide to take a tumble off the front of the porch. Thankfully, I don’t. Despite my offer, James leans against the railing of the porch after I’m seated on the swing.
I study his face, taking in features which initially felt familiar, and realize it’s because I saw a bit of me reflected in him. “I have your eyes.”
“Aye, lass, you do.” He looks proud for the first time. Coupled with his affectionate term, it causes the little girl of my childhood to peek out.
“I have so many questions.” I twist my hands in my lap. Did he miss me? What’s his side of the story? Does he know where Colt is ?
Finally choosing a direction with my thoughts, I pin him with a look. “Did you hear what happened with Colt on Halloween?”
The proud look in his eyes deepens for a moment before it’s replaced with the composed demeanor I recognize. “I do. He came by the clubhouse going on and on about you.” The pleasing Irish lilt of his voice is more noticeable the more he speaks and I wonder if that’s why he was quiet at the bar. “Had half a mind to re-break his nose for you, but you did a good job. The VP told him to scram before I had to step in. Took his cut. We don’t take to that nonsense.”
My mother’s words about my father being dangerous resurface. “Have you been seeing Stephanie? Why did you come here?”
James crosses his ankles and locks both arms over his chest. “I have not seen your mother in over twenty years. Not since she stole you away in the night.” My eyes widen. This isn’t the story she’s told. “Had half a mind to come looking for you both, but she left a note asking me to stay away. Said it was safer that way. She was right.”
Softly rocking the porch swing, I listen as he continues. “She tell you we ran away to Vegas?” He grins at me.
My eyes bug and my mouth falls open in half awe and half humor, as I shake my head.
“Stephanie was wild and free. We dated for three weeks before we eloped to Vegas. Hid away in my house after and a few weeks later we found out you were on the way.” He winks.
“That doesn’t sound like my mother at all.” Stephanie doesn’t have a wild bone in her body. Randi’s description of her resurfaces in my mind.
“Don’t know much about her now, but she was then.” He straightens and places both hands in his pockets, dropping his eyes to the floor. “We had three perfect years together. Then word came about my brother in Ireland.” His green eyes look vacant for a few quiet moments.
“What happened?” Unable to sit still any longer, I stand and move to lean against the railing near James.
“Murdered.” He blinks before meeting my eyes. “Like I said, your mam was right. My family has a dangerous history. Ties to the Irish mafia.” There’s no change in his tone to indicate this seems odd to him or that he’s joking.
“Irish mafia?” My voice on the other hand is almost a screech.
A hint of amusement dances in his eyes, though I think it’s directed at me and not at the topic of discussion. “Yes. Suffice it to say, there was concern after his murder that others would come for me. And my kin.” He holds my stare, his green eyes full of seriousness. “So when Stephanie ran off in the night to protect you, it broke my heart, but it was the right thing to do. And though I’d never betray your whereabouts, it was better I didn’t know.”
“Have you been here the whole time?”
He dips his chin in affirmation. “Your mother kept a low profile and I tried not to interfere. She never sent cards or photos, and it killed me not to see you grow up.” His eyes take in my face. “But I knew it was you when I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Oh my God, does Colt know?”
“Most of the club doesn’t know much of my history. Adds to the mystery.” A devilish grin brings a youthfulness to his face. He’s incredibly handsome and I can guess when he was younger he was heartbreaking. “I didn’t tell you that night because it didn’t seem like the right time.”
“And today did?” My arms cross on their own. Never mind all the questions swirling in my head about if the rest of my family knew he was still around and never mentioned him to me. Or how we never ran into each other until now. There’s so many years missed between us, and I know we won’t get through it all in one conversation.
“Saw you both at lunch. I figured if there was a good time, it’d be now, when we could all clear the air.” He says nothing else, letting his intention hang in the air. Letting me process. “I don’t expect you to trust me. Especially if your mom has shared only the scary things.”
“She didn’t share much.” I interrupt his follow-up. “Stephanie has never been forthcoming with me.” My hands rub a non-existent chill from my crossed arms. “We aren’t very close.”
“No?” His full lips purse.
I smirk. “Enough family stories for one day.”
For a time we’re quiet. James surveys the land and I contemplate all I’ve heard. When he speaks again, it’s an unasked question. “Colt said you don’t live here.”
“I didn’t.” I smile. “Looks like I’m going to be sticking around.”
“The cowboy?” He eyes me carefully, like depending on my answer, he might have more to say.
“He’s a rancher. I’m staying because I’m going to buy Nana’s house, though. This house.” I chew my lip for a moment.
His eyes twinkle. “Lovely woman. Think she liked me, too.” He exhales a long breath. “Don’t know what she thought once your mam ran off with you, though.”
“She never said anything to me about you,” I tell him honestly, taking him in again. “Maybe we can see each other again.”
He smiles. “We can. You stop by the clubhouse whenever you want. It’s out past Walnut Grove. There’s a gravel road about three miles back on the right, easy to miss. Follow that to the end. ”
James shifts to go and so many things rush through my mind. “The police are still looking for Colt. Do you know how they can find him?”
He pauses and looks over my face, then shakes his head. “Not sure what he wanted from the club, but don’t think it was brotherhood. He never got close with anyone.”
His statement fits with what I observed the night at the bar. Colt only talked with Pete, but even that seemed sparse.
Having never done it before, I’m not sure how to say goodbye to a man who has just disclosed he’s my father and has ties to the Irish mob. Silently, I watch as he heads down the porch stairs, before stopping at the bottom and turning to face me.
“Oh, and Gracie?”
His use of my middle name as a nickname causes my breath to catch. The best I can do is try to filter my emotions and listen to what he’s about to say.
“For his sake, I do hope you picked better in the rancher than you did in the prospect. You probably got your fighting side from me, so it may not turn out well for him if you didn’t.” He winks and then climbs onto his bike and starts it up. Revving it once, he turns to go and I offer a small wave from the top of the steps.
This day keeps getting wilder and wilder. Did he just threaten Sutton?
Determined to shut down my brain for a while, I message Izzy and Leah with a plan to celebrate.
Me:
You two available to dress up Nana’s backyard?
Leah:
Fuck yeah!
Izzy:
Anything for Nana.
Me:
Meet me as soon as you can!
I can’t wait to tell my friends the news.
Knowing what’s coming, I trade out my dress for jeans and a light sweater, securing my handgun into the hidden holster. After the events of Halloween, I won’t be unprotected again.
Bouncing on the balls of my feet at the top of the porch stairs, I’m thankful when Izzy and Leah pull in at the same time, a few minutes later. Izzy’s blue Nissan Armada goes next to my Jeep, and Leah’s red Acura sedan falls in line after her.
Unable to contain myself any longer, I rush down the stairs, sweeping them both into my arms in a much-needed group hug. The three of us stand there squeezing each other happily, even if they have no idea why.
“Spill it,” Leah says when we release each other.
My grin rivals the Cheshire Cat. “We’re going shopping!” I’m burying the lead and they can tell.
“Why?” Izzy’s hands go to her hips.
“Because I’m moving here!” Energy rushes from me and it’s all I can do to refrain from jumping up and down. It’s like making the decision to stay has lifted a giant weight from my chest .
Leah is squealing before Izzy has a chance to process. “So Margarita Mondays are going to be a thing?”
I laugh. “How about monthly?”
“Oh my God! We get to see you whenever we want?” Izzy wraps me in her arms again.
Closing my eyes, I relish the feel of her embrace. Weeks ago, touch was foreign to me. Something that caused overstimulation. And maybe in some ways, it always will. But right now, with my best friends, celebrating big changes in my life, I feel home.
“So what now?” Back is the analytical Izzy when she releases me.
“Now,” I say, looking between them, “we dress up Nana’s backyard. I want to celebrate. Later, I’ll tell Sutton and see where he stands with things.”
Izzy frowns.
Leah laughs. “What does that even mean? He’s in love with you.”
My heart skips a beat. Over the weeks, Sutton and I have started building something. I know I’m in love with him, and after his declaration yesterday I think we’re on the same page. I’ll feel better once we have an open conversation.
“We’ll see.”
My friends exchange a look.
“Well, let’s go spend your money!” At Izzy’s insistence, we pile into my Jeep and head to the only lawn and garden store in town.
Two hours and several hundred dollars later, the three of us return to Nana’s with a firepit and a million boxes of string lights in tow.
Leah is giddy with excitement. “This is going to be gorgeous!”
Her energy is infectious as if I wasn’t thrilled already. “I’m going to check Nana’s garage for a ladder. Will you two start unloading?”
“You just don’t want to help with the fire pit,” Izzy jests. She flicks one eyebrow at me.
“You aren’t entirely off base there.” I laugh, heading in the opposite direction of the house.
With the ladder, we make our way around the vast yard, stringing Edison-style bulbs from tree to tree. For tonight, the rectangular fire pit is stationed in the middle of the yard. I already have a plan to situate it somewhere else with new chairs, once the transition for the bed and breakfast happens. We set out lawn chairs from Leah’s that we picked up on the way back and call it done.
I’m not even sure if Sutton will be able to come by. So caught up in the emotions of the day and preparing everything for a celebration, I haven’t reached out yet.
Sweaty and satisfied, the three of us hang our arms around each other’s shoulders, taking in the made-over space. “This turned out really cute,” Izzy admires.
“It’s not the end goal, but it’ll do for now.”
“Of course, it’s not.” Leah shakes her head, playfully. “You’re such a perfectionist.”
“It’s not even that,” I argue. “I have a picture in mind.”
“Ohhh, a picture in mind.” Izzy snickers next to me.
“Both of you can shut up.” Snaking my arms off their shoulders on either side of me, I twist quickly and start tickling them both instead. We become a wild tangle of arms and twisting bodies, laughing and sucking in air when we can before we crash to the ground together in a heap. Our laughter continues until our faces are tear-streaked and we can’t breathe.
When our breathing has evened out, I squeeze their hands where they lie on either side of me. “Thank you for your help.”
“No thanks necessary.” Izzy squeezes back.
“Ride or die.” Leah’s voice is quiet and serious.
“What happened with your sister?” I look at Leah.
She sighs. “She’s mad, but I can’t have her and three kids in my one bedroom place.”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s hard.”
“It’s just Lily.” She shrugs dismissively.
“Guess you need to see about a cowboy.” Izzy sits up and brushes off her shirt. “Tell us all about it.”
Heat rushes to my face. This is really happening. Giving each of my best friends one more tight hug, we say our goodbyes and they leave. When the yard is silent again, minus the occasional whisper of the wind, I pull out my phone and text Sutton.
Me:
Hey, Cowboy. I know you’re busy this week. If you can get away tonight, I’ll be hanging out in the backyard at Nana’s. Just come on back.
A few minutes goes by and no bubbles appear. I’m sure he’s busy, so I pocket my phone and set to starting the fire.
I think the assumption is I’ll be back at his place tonight since he’s feeling protective again. Even if he can’t get away, I want to enjoy this yard and the new things on the horizon for a bit.