Chapter 21 #2
“Did you hurt yourself?” she whispered. “When you hit him?”
He shook his head and tugged her nearer. Now they were just a breath away from each other and she shivered at the closeness. “There is no pain, not when I’m with you. What I said to him, Evie, it wasn’t for show or to anger him. I really do love you.”
God, those words. How could they be so beautiful and also so painful? Because when the joy of them peeled away, there were still questions and hurts beneath. A future that was cloudy and likely always would be for a woman like her.
“I love you, too,” she said, reaching up to cup his cheek as he smiled like he’d just won a prize. “Foolish as it may be for a woman to fall in love with her protector.”
His brow wrinkled. “Protector? No, Evelina, this negotiation will not be between a courtesan and her protector. I love you, Evie. You are my perfect match. To love and to be loved? I know how rare that is. I won’t lose it. I want to marry you.”
She released his hand. “Oh. Oh no, Vaughn, that isn’t possible.”
“Why? Many men have married their mistresses.”
“Not many,” she corrected.
He shook his head. “Fine, but some. Including the very recent wedding of Windham and your sister.”
“Silas is the bastard son of a marquess who was always known to be wild. He lost nothing of his reputation when he married my sister. I think he might have added to it. But you are not that. You’re an earl, Vaughn.
And one who is already dragging a scandal behind him.
And please don’t tell me that it doesn’t matter, because I know how it’s troubled you. ”
“It did. But you just said the very poignant truth that I already carry the scandal from Florence’s actions and my agreement to go through with a nearly unheard-of divorce. That wouldn’t change if I gave you up. It would only lead to me being a very miserable pariah versus a deliriously happy one.”
“But you might not always be a pariah!” she exclaimed, and drew his hands to her.
“Vaughn, you cannot pretend you don’t understand.
The ton already sees you as a victim and in a few months or years there will be some other scandal big enough that will overtake this one.
You could rebuild, but not if you marry not only a courtesan, but one of the most infamous courtesans in London.
And not only that, but the former lover of your former wife’s new husband. ”
“You think he’ll marry her even after he just tried to reunite with you and declared he’d throw her over?” he asked.
She nodded. “I think he’ll have little choice. This attempt to reunite with me was an option of desperation. But after everything they’ve done? If he can’t return to what he once had and then declare he was deceived or tricked, he would have to know there’s no way out.”
“Florence will make sure of it,” Vaughn said. “She’ll do everything in her power to keep what she’s surrendered so much to claim.”
“And all of that will only link you to the disgrace forever if you marry me.”
“It will link me to you forever,” he said softly, and then brushed a lock of hair from her cheek.
She shut her eyes. God, he made it sound easy when she knew it wasn’t. “It could destroy you.”
“Look at me, please,” he said. She opened her eyes again and saw how certain he appeared. How utterly beautiful and certain, like this was nothing at all. “I don’t care, Evelina.”
Her lips parted. “But you must—”
“No,” he interrupted. “When we first commiserated over their betrayal, when we talked about the fact that Florence and Southwater intended to marry and continue on in Society, you said something to me. Do you remember what it was?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“I’ve thought about it a great deal in the last few days. You told me that perhaps they truly loved each other and that none of this would matter to them because all they’d need was each other.”
She crinkled her nose. “Well, considering what just happened, that prediction didn’t age very well.”
“Not for them,” he agreed with a little smile.
“But it ages perfectly for us. That is our story, if we let it be. I only need you, Evie. If you’re right and I’m fully shunned from every club, drawing room and ballroom in this nation, I will choose our parlor and our garden and our bedroom with you every time. ”
Her breath was almost nonexistent at that declaration. “Vaughn—”
He cupped her cheeks. “Every bloody time, Evelina.”
“Oh, you are so convincing,” she murmured, and lifted her hands to cover his.
“Does that mean you’re convinced?” he asked with a nervous laugh.
“You’re spinning such beautiful fairy tales and I want to believe them so deeply. I want to think we could ride off into some romantic sunset and never be touched by reality again.”
“Then believe it,” he said. “Believe me because I do. I do, Evelina. Will you? Will you?”
“Will I?” she repeated, her knees shaking.
“Marry me. Will you marry me, Evelina Comerford? Be mine every day and night until the world stops spinning. Please.”
It was the first time she saw a waver in his certainty. Not because he didn’t want this. Every part of him shone with the power of how deeply he loved her. Her!
No, his uncertainty came from the fact that he wasn’t sure of her answer.
And why would he be? She had resisted thus far, finding all the problems that might circumvent the love they’d both declared.
And yet now, as she stared up into the eyes of the man she loved, she realized he was right.
What they felt would always triumph over those problems.
“Yes,” she whispered, and lifted up on her tiptoes to kiss him at last. “Yes, yes, yes.”
His arms came tight around her, hugging her like he never wanted to let her go. And she realized that now that she’d agreed, she would never have to let him go, either. The joy overcame, the love won and she had never been so happy in all her days.