Chapter 45

forty-five

The small, crinkled paper looks like the top corner of a page that’s been torn out of a notebook. The neat handwriting unmistakably belongs to a woman, and if that weren’t enough to give it away, there’s a small heart drawn under it.

Chase says something, but I barely hear him. I can’t stop staring down at this small strip of paper that validates every doubt I’ve had. I wonder where they met. Was she blonde? Did she come up to him? Did he pursue her? Have they gone out together? Did they sleep together?

That last one feels like a punch in the gut.

My eyes burn, but there’s no reason to cry. I knew this was the case. Every part of me knew getting involved with Chase was a bad idea. I knew I’d get hurt, I knew I’d regret it, and I knew it would mean more to me than it did to him.

“Candace.” Chase’s voice finally breaks through my anger-induced fog. Is it even anger I’m feeling? I might just be disappointed.

I look up and collect my bearings in a matter of seconds. The small paper crumples in my fist again. “I’m sorry you want more. ”

He gives me a questioning look. “You’re sorry?”

I raise my chin, determined to look stronger than I feel. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“This is what I mean,” he says with an outstretched hand. “You’d rather we both be unhappy than admit you have feelings for me, and I don’t get it.”

I scoff and shrug off his jacket. Walking it back to him, I put his jacket in one hand and the woman’s phone number in the other. “I’m sure you’ll find someone else in no time.”

Ignoring the surprised look written in the planes of his face, I wrap my arms around myself to fight the sudden chill and turn back toward my apartment, my friends, my life.

“Candace, wait!” he says, but my steps quicken. When he picks up his pace behind me, I let the lobby door shut in my wake. My fingers barely graze my apartment door handle when he grabs me by the wrist and spins me around, forcing me to face him. His hands move to either side of the wall like he’s afraid I might slip away at the earliest chance. “Wait,” he says again, more breathless this time.

My chest heaves as I try to hold myself together. “It’s fine. We never had an agreement to be exclusively fake. You’re free to ask out whoever you want. I just don’t want to be a part of it.”

“But I didn’t?—”

I cut him off with a dubious lift of my brow.

“Okay, I did, but?—”

Trying to sneak out of the cage he’s built, I mutter, “It doesn’t matter.”

Chase grabs one of my shoulders while he holds up the slip of paper with the other hand. “This is old.” He flips up a folded corner and flattens it for me to see. “It’s Layla’s.”

I honestly don’t care who she is. It doesn’t matter, but he’s looking at me expectantly, so I say, “Who? ”

He sighs. “Layla.” When I don’t say anything, he raises his eyebrows and adds, “The barista?”

Realization dawns on me, but I’m still confused. “The one with the boyfriend?”

Chase slowly lets go and runs a hand through his hair. “She doesn’t exactly have a boyfriend.”

He’s watching me expectantly for some type of reaction, but all I feel is confused. “So . . .” Instead of guessing, I just shake my head. “I’m not following.”

Chase’s hand drags down his face. “I went back the next day, like I told you, to ask for her number. She doesn’t have a boyfriend. She gave it to me, but . . .” His eyes lock on mine. “But then you and I talked, and I liked you. I was more interested to see where things would go with you, so I never used it.” He pauses, and the way his eyes burn into mine makes it harder to breathe. “I liked you, Candace. Even then. But when I asked you out for drinks, you had already written me off. You were adamant about us being only friends, and I knew I fucked up. I knew you wouldn’t agree to a date, but I thought you might agree to a fake one. I thought it might be the only way you’d give me a chance.”

I try to take in all the information he’s given me, but my mind can only process it one piece at a time. “So, you lied.”

“No, everything I’ve ever told you?—”

“About her having a boyfriend.”

He winces. “Oh. Yes. I guess I did lie about that.”

I frown. “Then why even ask for her number in the first place?”

“I thought I wanted it. You and I were texting, and even though you were fun to talk to, my mind was still made up from the day before. It wasn’t until I had it in my hand that I realized I didn’t care.”

“And that’s why she kept staring at you when we got coffee? Because you asked her out and never called? ”

Chase grimaces. “Yeah. I don’t think she’s very happy with me.”

“No,” I say quietly as I try to recall my brief interaction with her. “I don’t think she is either.” Refocusing, I add, “But why give her a boyfriend? Why not just tell me?”

He wipes his hand over his mouth like he’s considering how to answer. “I thought you’d brush me off for that, too. At least if I gave her a boyfriend, you’d know she was out of the picture. I didn’t want you to wonder if I’d change my mind.”

As much as I don’t want to think of myself as being insecure, I probably would have wondered. Knowing a willing, gorgeous blonde was waiting in his back pocket would have changed the way I looked at things. “You like me,” I say, my voice small.

The corner of Chase’s mouth lifts. “I more than like you.”

All I’ve wanted was for him to tell me he wants more, and now that he has, my brain can’t keep up. He wanted this to be real. From the beginning. My heart swells until there’s no room for me to keep my thoughts bottled, and I blurt, “I like you, too.”

His smile stretches further. “I know.”

“But she’s going to ruin everything. You know she will.” I don’t need to specify who I’m talking about. There’s only one person standing in the way of this now.

I know it’s a risk. Relationships are never a guarantee, but there’s no way Nicolette will let this go. She’ll up her game with him. I’m sure her emails will get worse, and she’ll force him to stay and work late more often than not. She’ll call him while we’re out just to pull his attention away. I can see all these conclusions so clearly in my mind, like a movie I’ve seen a million times. Because I know Nicolette, and if she thinks she’s losing her hold on Chase, she’s just going to dig her claws in deeper .

But Chase is unfazed. If anything, his smile steadily grows. “She got fired.”

My mouth falls open. “What? Why?”

Scratching the back of his neck, he says, “Remember the man with the pregnant wife? At the Christmas party?”

I nod.

“Well, he sort of owns the firm. He works out of our bigger office in Tampa, so he’s rarely at our firm here, but he overheard what happened at the party.”

My eyes widen. “Everything you said to Nicolette?”

He takes in a breath and nods. “Everything.” Dropping his hand from the back of his neck, he stares at me with beautiful, earnest eyes. “He looked into the emails Nicolette’s been sending at work and thought they were enough to fire her. She’s gone.”

I clap a hand over my mouth. “She got fired on Christmas Eve?”

At first, I’m not even sure he can understand my muffled words, but he goes on to say, “Just before Christmas Eve. It happened Monday night. That’s when I got the call, anyway.”

It must have happened right after her last hair appointment with me. She came in on Monday since her usual Tuesday appointment fell on a holiday. My eyebrows pull together. “Wait. He called you? To tell you he fired Nicolette?”

Chase’s mouth quirks, but not in the usual, confident way. If anything, he looks bashful. “Yeah. He, uh . . .” He shakes his head a little in disbelief. “He wants to give me her job.”

I blink, and now it’s hard for me to fight my own smile. “Are you serious? Chase, that’s amazing!”

A nervous breath of laughter leaves his lips. “Yeah, I still haven’t wrapped my head around it. It’s a bigger promotion than the one I was going for, but it’s not like I don’t know how to do the work. ”

“You’ll be incredible,” I assure him, my smile warming as it stretches further across my face.

Nicolette got fired. She’s no longer Chase’s boss. She won’t have any control over him. Because she won’t be his boss. She won’t be anything.

The realization dawns on me, and my eyes lock on Chase.

Nicolette is unemployed.

As if reading my thoughts, Chase says, “She might not keep her weekly appointments with you. She might for a little while and then drop off, or maybe she’ll find a new job in no time and it will change nothing.” He shrugs. “I don’t know.”

My eyes scan his as I try to imagine every scenario that can come from this.

“But, Candace, she got fired. It will be hard to turn everyone against you when she’s clearly the one in the wrong.”

He’s right. God, I hope he’s right. “And if she asks me about you?”

Chase’s eyes are bright when they meet mine. “You don’t even know my name.”

My laugh comes out sounding more like a scoff, but I can’t fight my smile. “I’m serious, Chase.”

“So am I.” He grins. “You have no idea who I am.” He holds my chin between his fingers. “Never seen me a day in your life.”

I suck in a breath. He’s so close to me like this. With him holding my chin in place, I’m forced to look at him. Really look at him. The scent of spice and teakwood floods my senses, and I’m overwhelmed with how badly I want to kiss him.

Keeping his voice low, Chase says, “As far as Nicolette is concerned, we can be strangers. But between us, I want to know you better than anyone.”

He’s put me completely in a trance. All I can do is nod more than I need to and utter the word, “Okay.”

Gently brushing his thumb over my bottom lip, Chase’s eyes dip to my mouth for a fraction of a second before he meets my stare again. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Please do,” I say and the words come out breathless.

Then his mouth is on mine. Warm and familiar. New and exciting. He’s everything. Everything I’ve ever wanted feels packed into this kiss, and before I know it, my hands are in his hair. My tongue grazes his bottom lip, and Chase lifts me up against the wall to kiss me deeper. His long fingers curl into my hair, and my legs wrap around him. I’m completely lost in him. Lost in the way he still tastes like traces of mint and in the way his tongue perfectly teases mine. Lost in the feeling of having him pressed against me. I’m completely lost in the feeling of being wanted by him. Truly wanted.

Pulling back, Chase nips at my bottom lip. “You’re the prettiest stranger I never met.”

Laughter blooms in my chest. “You’re ridiculous.”

Chase grins as he sets me down and takes my hand in his, his thumb rubbing over the backs of my knuckles. “Let me take you on a date. A real one.”

I let out a short laugh. “No.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “No?” He points over his shoulder, his smirk growing. “Not even if I take you to see the Surfing Santas?”

A smile pulls at my lips, and I shake my head. “Please don’t.” I feel like I’m the one who should make it up to him. I’m the one who thought I had him pegged. And I’m the one who was wrong again. Pushing up on my toes I kiss him. “You don’t have to make anything up to me with a date. You’re here. That’s more than enough.”

“You’re more than enough,” he says, and then his mouth is on mine.

The door to the apartment opens, and Miles pokes his head out to find us pressed against the wall. Chase and I look at him, but Chase keeps my hands pinned against the wall like once this interruption is over, he plans on going back to what he was doing before.

Miles grins and points over his shoulder. “Uh, you do know she has an entire room you can use.”

My cheeks flare, and my voice is breathless when I say, “We’ll be right in.”

“Merry Christmas, Miles,” Chase says before settling his stare back on me.

Miles tilts his head playfully. “Merry Christmas, Daddy Chase.”

Chase’s mouth quirks, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me, and Miles ducks back into the apartment. “Think he’ll ever stop calling me that?”

“Probably not,” I admit.

Chase lets out a low chuckle that I feel in my bones. “Good to know.” He kisses me again, and warmth spreads from my head to my toes. “Merry Christmas, Candace.” His words flutter against my lips.

“Merry Christmas.”

He smiles against my lips before he kisses me again. His hands move to my hair, and mine grip the material of his shirt. Each press of his lips on mine feels like another reassurance. He’s kissing me with more care and feeling than he ever has, and I’m just glad I get to kiss him again at all.

Pulling back, Chase smooths down my hair with a slight smile. “We should probably go in there before I mess you up.”

I look at the apartment door and then back at him. “Yeah, we can save the messing up for later.” I kiss him one more time, and he groans as I pull him to follow me.

The apartment looks exactly the same as it did before I stepped outside. Miles and Elvis are still drinking their cocktails on the couch. Soft holiday music plays throughout, and the smell of roasted chicken wafts throughout the entire apartment. The decorations are the same, my glass sits on the kitchen counter, even the snacks laid out don’t look like they’ve been touched since I left a few minutes ago. But one thing is very different. Outside the windows that frame the back wall, there’s. . . snow.

Chase and I both stand there, staring at the little tufts of white cascading from the sky. He’s first to point at the window. “Is that?—”

“Fake snow,” Miles says with a laugh. “It’s coming from the balcony above us. The machine is loud as a motherfucker, and it looks like it might be made with PVC pipe, but from here it’s cool.” He shimmies his shoulders. “Lenny is making me feel festive.”

I blink before looking at the ceiling like it will somehow give me insight into the apartment above. “That’s what he’s been working on? A fake snow machine?”

“Seems like it,” Miles says with a shrug.

“I love it,” Elvis chimes in. “Florida never feels like Christmas.”

“Yeah,” Chase says. “I love it, too.”

I look over at him, but he’s not looking at the fake snow anymore. He’s looking at me. I swallow.

The corner of his mouth quirks, and he takes my hand, pressing his lips to the back of my knuckles.

Smiling at Miles, I say, “I think I’m ready for another one of those drinks.”

Miles cocks an eyebrow. “In the mood to celebrate?”

I look at Chase. This beautiful man inside and out who has managed to beat all my expectations. It’s all been real. I wasn’t his fallback plan. I wasn’t his second pick. It wasn’t fake. A slow smile pulls at my lips, and Chase mirrors my expression. Turning back to Miles, I grin. This feels like Christmas. “Yes. Let’s celebrate.”

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