Chapter 23
There was a rhythm to horse riding, it seemed.
Step, shift, lean. Step, shift, lean, Melody chorused, over and over in her head.
It was pure panic that kept her still in the saddle, all the way across the courtyard and past the guards. She sat very still and straight, back rigid, gripping the reins in white-knuckled hands.
“Ease up, lass, ye look as though ye have been turned to stone,” Callum observed. “Ye are doin’ very well.”
“Am I?”
“Oh, aye. We both are,” he added in an undertone, glancing uneasily up at the clear blue sky above them. Melody wondered if he was anticipating rain.
The keep receded behind them, inch by inch. She was under no illusions—Faun was the one moving forward, deciding which way to go. She simply followed Thunder, plotting along comfortably, not at all uneasy about the stiff and terrified human on her back.
All conversation had ceased, of course. Melody had no breath or thought left for chatter, as her entire being was focused on the horse beneath her and the reins clutched in her hands.
What if Faun were to suddenly take off on a gallop for no reason?
What if she reared suddenly? What if the seemingly firm and sturdy saddle began to slip after all?
The possibilities were endless, and each one was more terrifying than the last.
Callum glanced over at her, gaze raking down her form. He clicked his tongue in disapproval and urged Thunder toward her, close enough that the horses’ sides almost touched. Leaning over, he placed one hand over hers, adjusting her grip on the reins.
“Ye hold too tightly,” he murmured, close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath. “Relax. All is well. A too-tight grip will make Faun think somethin’ is wrong. Ye must just hold tight enough to let her ken that ye are there, but nae tight enough for her to be afraid, do ye understand?”
She nodded tightly, saying nothing. His hands were warm, the palms rough.
She’d felt this sensation before, of his hands on her skin.
It sent a shiver through her body, a sort of tensing in her stomach.
She had felt exactly the same way last night, in the teasing moments before Callum truly touched her.
It was a little surprising to feel that way now, here, when they were out in the open.
He was not even touching her with intent; he was merely adjusting her grip on the reins.
Almost as abruptly as he’d leaned over, Callum leaned back, withdrawing his hand from hers. The sensation remained, however, tickling through her blood like a fever.
“There,” he said approvingly. “Much better. Nicely done. Ye are a born rider, Melody. Ye should have been doin’ this years ago. Daenae forget to apply pressure with yer knees, to let Faun ken which direction to turn in.”
Melody gave a huff. “Faun does not need my direction. She knows exactly where we are going, I think. Has she followed this route before?”
Callum’s expression snapped tight shut. He turned away abruptly, fixing his gaze on the road ahead of them.
“Aye, Faun kens the way,” he observed. “I might as well tell ye now, before anybody else in the keep does. She was once me wife’s horse.
The previous Lady MacDean was a keen rider, and had several horses of her own.
Faun was one. I had nay heart to ride the horses meself after me wife passed, so I sold them or gave them away to people who would care for them, but I never could bring meself to give away Faun.
Perhaps she’ll carry ye as well as she carried the previous Lady MacDean. ”
Melody found that a lump had lodged in her throat. There was something raw and harsh in Callum’s voice. Had she ever heard such emotion from him before?
Perhaps he isn’t made of stone all the way through.
“Thank you,” she managed at last. “For trusting me with her. The horse, I mean. I shall do my best to care for her.”
He flashed her a tired smile. “I’m sure ye will try.”
They walked on in silence for perhaps another twenty minutes, then the path abruptly narrowed and sloped upward. It was a rocky, twisting pathway, and try as she might, Melody could not see what lay ahead.
Callum and Thunder led the way, of course, and Faun trooped obediently after them. She was just gathering the courage to ask whether they were nearly there when the path leveled out, and the dense woodland around them pulled back to reveal a huge clearing.
Melody’s breath caught in her throat.
“Oh,” she gasped. “Oh, it’s beautiful.”
Callum glanced back at her and grinned. “Aye, I’d agree with ye on that one, lass.”
A tall, rocky cliff loomed up above them, with a deep-looking natural pool at its base.
Moss clung to the stones, and long, trailing vines drifted down into the water, creating a sort of curtain of green.
The grass climbed almost all the way up to the edge of the water, thick and confident.
Wildflowers dotted here and there, little bursts of color amongst the long grass.
She could imagine someone basking on the flat, even on the rocks, on a hot day, sunning themselves like a happy snake. They might even slip into the cool-looking water and swim through the green vines.
“It’s so beautiful,” she breathed. “And look, those wildflowers are in my favorite colors! Pink and blue. Oh, that’s lovely.”
“Come on, lass, down ye get.”
She flinched at Callum’s half-laughing voice and glanced down to find him standing beside Faun, arms outstretched to lift her down.
“There’s nay mountin’ block here,” he explained unnecessarily.
That was a good point. The distance to the ground seemed suddenly very great, and Melody tightened her grip on the reins.
“Come, swing yer leg over the side of the saddle,” Callum urged, “and I’ll lift ye down.”
“It’s a long way.”
“And I will nae let ye fall,” he promised.
Come. Don’t be a coward, she urged herself, and gingerly lifted her leg in the way he said.
Before she could move further, however, Callum seized her around the waist and lifted her easily up out of the saddle and down onto solid ground.
She staggered a little, horrified at the sharp burst of soreness through her hips and lower back.
“Ouch,” she managed.
Callum smiled at that. “Aye, ridin’ is a painful business, especially if ye are nae used to it. Come, look at the pool. There are silver fish in it, and we can eat the blackberries that grow just over by the trees. Are ye hungry?”
“Not yet,” she admitted. “Callum, look at me.”
He paused, already halfway across the clearing. He glanced back at her, lifting his eyebrows.
“Why did you bring me here? Why did you give me Faun?”
The words seemed to echo between them. It struck her, quite suddenly, that the clearing was very quiet. She forced herself to stay quiet, however, staring at him and waiting patiently for a response.
At last, he sighed, shaking his head.
“I suppose it’s an apology. And if ye can face yer fears and ride a horse, I ought to face mine, too.”
“Fears? What fears?”
He shifted, chewing his lower lip. “For the past few years, I have felt… I feel unsettled whenever I am outside the keep walls. It didnae start suddenly. I hardly noticed it at first, but…I didnae feel like going out after…everything that happened. I only wanted to be in me tower. I ken that it’s safe there, and when I am out in the open, with all that sky above me, I cannae help but worry.
I feel as though an attack could come from any direction.
All this open space is… it’s oppressive, somehow.
I ken that for some folks open space means freedom and possibility, but I feel the opposite.
There,” he added heavily. “Embarrassin’, eh? ”
“Embarrassing? Not in the slightest,” she exclaimed. “I… I am glad you told me. And clearly, your fear does not control you, because you came out to the festival to save me that night. You are here.”
“True,” he acknowledged, dropping down into a crouch beside the water. He eyed the rippling pool with a soft expression and reached out to touch the surface.
There was a low, flattish stone nearby, and Melody perched on that. She sensed that Callum had not finished speaking, and wanted to be ready to hear what he had to say. She watched him reach out and pluck a few long strands of grass. Absently, he began to braid them together.
This is progress, she thought, her heart tightening. He trusts me. Or he is beginning to do so.
“I ought to warn ye,” he said abruptly. “The councilors want ye to join a council meetin’ soon. Tonight, in fact. They wish to discuss the weddin’ plans, and I imagine they want to get an idea of yer political acumen.”
Melody hadn’t quite been expecting this. She flinched, swallowing hard.
“Oh. I… well, of course I’ll join, if you wish it.”
He nodded. “That is good of ye. I should tell her that Thomas Johnson will be there. He’s a councilor, too, although he has not been very active on the council since the loss of his daughter. Nobody has the heart to remove him.”
“What? Your father-in-law?”
“Aye, that’s him. I daenae ken what sort of behavior to expect from him.
I ken that he does nae approve of the marriage, although I daenae claim that it’s ye specifically that he disapproves of.
He’d be angry to see me marry anybody again.
He has nae left off grievin’ his daughter, and thinks that I should be the same. ”
Melody paused to consider what to say next.
“It must be difficult for you,” she ventured at last. “You lost your wife, who I imagine was the love of your life. Even if ye say ye werenae in love, I’m sure ye just didnae want to hurt me feelings, and she was the love of yer life—”
“She was nae.”
Well. Melody certainly had not expected him to insist. She glanced at him, struggling to find the words to respond. Callum glanced up from where he was concentrating on braiding the grass.