Chapter 28
“This is it, then,” Melody said, as brightly as she could manage the following morning. “I’m really going.”
The others only stared bleakly back at her. Only a few had come out to wave her off. Sophie was here, as was Kat, of course, along with Jane and Lucas.
That was all. A few of the servants had wished her a good journey, and a goodbye note from Thomas arrived just as the coach was being readied, imploring her to rethink and stay.
It was too late, of course. Melody’s mind was made up.
This will be the best for everybody in the long run.
The sun was barely up. The sunrise was a weak, watery thing, barely lighting the sky.
It was going to be a windy, rainy day. The sky was heavy with clouds, threatening sleet.
The best coach had been chosen to take her home.
It stood shivering on its axles in the wind, with hardly any luggage.
It would take her all the way home, Melody had been told, not just to the borders of England.
That was a relief, knowing she wouldn’t have to worry about public stagecoaches or missing the coach she needed.
“I wish ye would reconsider,” Sophie quavered, the old woman nearly blown off her feet by the wind. “The weather is bad. Stay for a few hours, wait and see if it’ll clear up.”
Melody gave a faint smile. “If I wait, I won’t leave today. Putting off this journey till tomorrow won’t do me any good.”
“Well, I daenae think ye should go at all,” Jane stated firmly. Stepping forward, she pushed a hamper into Melody’s hands. “But since ye insist upon goin’, I’ve packed ye some food. It’ll be enough for the first day, at least.”
Sophie shook her head. “I wish ye would at least take yer gowns with ye, lass. Ye did nae even have the chance to wear them all.”
Melody smiled faintly. “It was so kind of you to give them to me. I… I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer, but I suspect I’ve worn out my welcome already.”
“Daenae be daft,” Sophie sniffed. “Come here, lass. Give me a hug.”
Melody was happy to oblige. She wrapped her arms around the older woman, breathing in the scent of mint. Perhaps that was where Callum got his warm, fresh scent from.
Enough. Don’t think of him.
She pulled back, offering a misty smile.
“And you’ll be sure that my letter reaches Victoria soon?” she added, smiling hopefully at Lucas. “I don’t want her to worry.”
“I’ll see it delivered meself,” Lucas promised. His face was tight and miserable. “And the men travelin’ with ye are our finest soldiers. Ye will be safe on the road, and they’ll get ye home in good time.”
Melody nodded tightly. “Thank you. I… I appreciate it. You’ll all write to me, won’t you, to let me know how things are going? I’ll want to hear about it all.”
She received a chorus of ayes. Last of all, Melody turned to Kat.
Kat wasn’t happy. She’d made no secret of the fact that she thought Melody should stay. Right now, she had her arms folded tight across her chest and had a pinched, tired look on her face.
“You’re upset with me, aren’t you?” Melody murmured.
“I wish ye were nae givin’ up,” Kat responded bluntly. “But nor can I tell ye what to do. I hope ye find happiness in England. And put that salve on yer scratches.”
“I’m sure I will.”
Kat sighed, shifting a little, and unfolded her arms. “Did ye at least find what ye were lookin’ for?”
Melody blinked, frowning. Sophie and Jane turned to talk to each other as Lucas gave last-minute instructions to the coach driver. That left Melody and Kat free to talk privately.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that ye snuck into this castle for a reason,” Kat responded pointedly. “Did ye find what ye were lookin’ for, at least?”
At once, Melody thought of her sketch. She had finished it last night, but as she put the final strokes on the picture, she realized that she couldn’t take it with her.
It didn’t matter what the Marzipan Twins thought of her.
It didn’t matter what anybody thought of Callum.
He’d never cared, and now she would have to learn not to care, either.
She’d considered destroying the sketch, but that felt far too wasteful and violent. Instead, Melody had rolled it up and tied it in the middle with a ribbon. Somebody would find it, probably. Perhaps they’d throw it out, perhaps they would frame it. Did it matter? Probably, but not to her.
I’ll never find out what happens to it. I’ll be in England, apologizing to my father for my long absence and trying desperately to find a place for myself in society once more. If they’ll even accept me, that is, which is unlikely.
“I suppose I did find what I was looking for, in a way,” she answered at last. Sunlight crawled across the courtyard, lighting up the cobbles at her feet.
I’ve already delayed enough.
“I suppose I should get going, then,” Melody managed at last, hating how her voice caught in her throat. The others pretended not to notice. They’d mostly given up on begging her to stay. She turned to Lucas, smiling hopefully.
“Will Callum be joining us soon? Surely he’ll…” she trailed off.
Surely he’ll say goodbye.
A ridiculous thought. Callum knew what time she was leaving. There was no way he’d still be abed.
Lucas’ face crumpled.
“Oh, Melody, I’m sorry. I went to his room to try to convince him to come down. He was in there, but the door was locked. He’s nae comin’ down.”
“Nae comin’ down?” Sophie snapped. “I think nae. Wait for a while, Melody. I’ll fetch him.”
“No, no,” she answered firmly. “I don’t want that to happen, Sophie. It’s kind of you, but… no. I don’t think Callum enjoys goodbyes very much. It’s time I left, anyway. Thank you all for your hospitality and your attention to me. I’ll never forget the past few weeks, and nor will I forget you.”
She gave each of them a bright smile and turned to the coach.
Placing her foot on the step, Melody could not quite help turning back to the keep.
Part of her had expected to see Callum in the doorway.
Last night, she’d dreamt that he came running out to stop her, catching her up into his arms and begging her to stay.
A silly dream, really. There was no sign of him, either in the doorway or at any of the windows.
He really isn’t going to see me off.
Letting out her breath in a long, ragged exhale, Melody climbed into the coach and shut the door behind her.
The study door flew open, knocking against the wall behind it. Callum flinched, nearly spilling his whisky.
“Only me,” Lucas announced tautly, striding in. “I see ye have unlocked yer door now.”
Callum clenched his jaw, turning back toward the fire. “Go away, Lucas.”
“Sophie wanted to come and speak to ye. I didn’t imagine she’d be very helpful, so I suggested that I would come instead. Melody left this in her room.”
He held out a long scroll, tied with a linen ribbon. Callum eyed it sullenly.
“Then send it after her.”
“If she’d wanted to keep it, she’d have taken it. I think that ye should see it.”
“I daenae want to look at it.”
Lucas gave a growl of annoyance. He came stamping forward, putting himself between Callum and the fireplace.
“Get up,” he demanded.
Callum stretched out his legs, making no move to get up from his armchair.
“Nay, Lucas. Are ye challengin’ me to a duel?”
Lucas bounced on the balls of his feet. “Maybe.”
Callum scoffed. “Get lost.”
“Melody broke the horse ye carved for her, ye ken.”
He swallowed. “I gave it to her. She can do as she wishes with it.”
“Huh. I came to tell ye that I understand why ye let Melody go.”
Callum stiffened at this, glancing warily up at his friend. “Oh, is that so?”
“Aye, it is so.”
“And what is it that ye understand so keenly? Be warned, I’m nae in the mood for nonsense, Lucas.”
“Ye are never in the mood.”
“And less so now, when me betrothed has publicly abandoned me right after I killed one of me councilors.”
“And that excuses this lethargy?”
“Lethargy?”
Lucas gestured vaguely with the rolled-up paper. “Ye have spent most of today in that chair, drinkin’ whisky and starin’ at the fire. Everybody is worried for ye. I am worried for ye.”
“And to display yer concern, ye chose to come here and scold me? Very kind, Lucas, very kind indeed. So come on, tell me why I let Melody go, as ye so nicely put it. Explain what it is ye understand.”
Lucas narrowed his eyes. “Ye have to be worthy of her to keep her. She needed a man who lived in the present. A man who lived in the past, trapped in a tragedy he could never shake, is nae what a woman needs. A man who does nae care for his bride’s future or his own is a poor husband.
Perhaps Melody understood that at last. Perhaps that’s why she left. ”
A long silence stretched out between them after he spoke. Callum glanced up at his friend. Lucas stared expectantly back. At last, Callum heaved a sigh.
“Ye are tryin’ to bait me, Lucas. Ye want to make me angry. Ye want to provoke me into doing somethin’. I imagine that Grandmother put ye up to it. It’ll nae work.”
“Oh, nay?”
“Nay,” he responded tightly. “And let me tell ye, there are better ways to die than by proddin’ a bear. Daenae anger me, lad.”
“Anger ye? Why would tellin’ the truth make ye angry? Surely ye are nae such a weak man as that.”
Callum fixed Lucas with a steady glare. He still had no intention of getting up and squaring up to his friend, but Lucas was rapidly getting on his last nerve.
“Enough,” he said coldly. “It angers me specifically because it is nae the truth, and I think ye ken that.”
Lucas snorted. “I daenae believe ye. Nobody else does, either.”
Callum sat up. In one smooth movement, he launched his glass of whisky at the wall. It shattered into a thousand pieces, spattering amber liquid everywhere. The stink of alcohol filled the room.
Lucas, to his credit, did not flinch. He remained where he was, staring at Callum, motionless.
“I did nae let Melody go because I did nae care about her future,” Callum said, his voice low and furious.
“Me reason was exactly the opposite. I let her go because I cared about her future, and there’s none for her with me.
For God’s sake, man, are ye a fool? Angus nearly murdered her simply to punish me.
Any Lady MacDean is in the gravest danger. ”
“And that is her risk to take. Nae yers to decide for her.”
He growled. “Shut up, Lucas. Ye are goin’ too far.”
“Look at this picture,” Lucas pleaded, thrusting it under Callum’s nose. “Just look at what she drew.”
“Put it on the fire.”
“I willnae!”
“Ye will, because I am orderin’ it. Daenae make me say it again, Lucas.”
There was a long silence after that. Lucas stared down at him, his expression unreadable.
“I think it requires bravery to look at this picture,” Lucas stated at last, his voice quieter than before.
“I think it requires the strength to put tragedy and misery behind, and look to the future. I ken without doubt that ye have the needed bravery and strength, Callum, but I think perhaps that ye daenae believe that ye have.”
While Callum was struggling to find a reply to make, Lucas turned away. He set the picture down on a nearby table and left, the door swinging open. A draft crept into the room, curling around Callum’s ankles.
He sat where he was for a few moments, staring at nothing.
He’d watched Melody leave, of course, from a high window. She’d paused just as she was climbing into the coach, and turned to scan over the keep. She hadn’t spotted him, as he’d drawn back quickly before she could see him. When he ventured back to the window, she was gone, shut up inside the coach.
This is for the best, he’d told himself over and over again, and it was. It must be. England was dull but safe, and he’d rather Melody be bored than dead.
Moving slowly, Callum rose stiffly to his feet. His joints ached. When was the last time he’d moved? Not for hours, surely. The ribbon tied around the paper was loose and came undone easily. It unrolled, flopping open to reveal a simple, elegant sketch within.
His breath caught in his throat. His eyes stung.
It was a sketch of him, quite clearly. He sat in a chair, which was picked out only by a few well-chosen lines. In the crook of each arm, he held a baby, both swaddled, both either asleep or falling asleep.
Callum knew, without a doubt, without needing to see the faces of the babies, that one of them was meant to be Alexander.
A lump formed in his throat, stinging hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.
His gaze rested on his own sketched expression, soft and happy.
He was staring at the sketcher with an open face, trusting and content.
She truly thought that I could be this man. She imagined a second child. A future. Hope.
He swallowed away, squeezing his eyes closed. A warm, tickling line inched down his cheek, and it took him a full minute to understand that it was a tear.
That’s nae happened in a while, he thought dully, swiping away the tear with the back of his hand. Letting out a long breath, he turned and strode to the door.
“Lucas!” he bellowed.
Really, Callum hadn’t expected his friend to be nearby. However, Lucas sprang forward out of nowhere, his face expectant and hopeful.
“Aye, me Laird?”
Callum let out a shaky breath. “Prepare me carriage with fastest horses. I have a long journey to make.”
“But…the carriage is taking Melody to England. It’ll be gone for days and days, along with them.”
This was true. Callum growled under his breath, thinking.
“Very well. In that case, summon the keep craftsmen, and get me a good amount of wood. We can discuss other supplies later. I have work to do, and so do ye.”
“At once, Laird MacDean,” Lucas answered, barely able to keep the smile from his face.