Chapter 9
Just walk out of the room, Victoria.
Hesitating on the threshold of her bedroom felt ridiculous. She grew more and more frustrated with herself with every passing moment that she was not in the hallway. Who would have thought that such a simple thing would feel so absurd?
Rest had been impossible. Victoria had been bathed and given a more traditional Scottish dress to wear, and while she was not accustomed to the layers or the heavy fabric, or the more revealing shape, she was rather grateful for the warmth that it brought her.
This close to the coast, everything seemed to feel colder, she realized.
“Go on!” she hissed to herself.
Her door was open, and nobody was watching her, certainly nobody in sight that would grab her and yank her back into the bedroom and chastise her or worse… but that did not stop the sinking guilty feeling that she was doing something terribly wrong.
Would she feel like this forever? Would she constantly be looking over her shoulder and hoping that Charles would not magically appear to drag her kicking and screaming back into that terrible room again? Absentmindedly, Victoria reached for her now-scabbed wrists and rubbed them gingerly.
The discomfort there helped her remember that this was really happening, and that it was not all just some dream that she had concocted.
She was really out of that house and somewhere safe.
If she were really able to walk around on her own, without being constantly monitored, then she might even be able to get a letter out to her sister soon. That would be ideal.
Melody is likely worried sick about me.
One step into the hallway, and then a second, and the castle did not come crumbling down around her.
It was still a very slow process on her end, one step at a time, like she was afraid the very floor under her slippers was going to give way.
She could not seem to stop cursing herself for constantly second-guessing even this simple task.
Never mind the fact that Victoria had absolutely no idea where the gardens were in the first place. Arran had not imparted that information when he departed her room two hours ago, and she had not thought to ask the maid.
Ten minutes passed while she explored, and then fifteen…
and while she passed people in the hallways who gave her strange glances, nobody stopped her, nobody asked her anything.
She kept her hands wrapped around herself as she walked, feeling very self-conscious as she moved forward.
Once she reached the ground floor, it was simpler to find the outside than she had expected.
She ought to have paid better attention to where she was going on the way up there, but she simply had not.
The gardens were less decorative than the ones she had grown up accustomed to.
They appeared to be focused only on functional plants and herbs, with a large vegetable garden in the back.
No doubt she would be able to find the kitchens somewhere back around the corner.
In the middle of the garden was a small flower bed with an assortment of brightly colored flowers that almost felt out of place with everything around it.
But that did not make it any less wonderful.
Victoria had always loved flowers and preferred to have freshly arranged flowers in her room at all times.
Well, she had at one time. Charles had hated flowers because they tended to make him sneeze, but Father had always allowed Victoria to indulge in her habit.
Before he sold me off like cattle.
Victoria closed her eyes and breathed in the scent of the flowers for a long moment, willing herself to calm and steady herself.
She might not have any idea what was ahead of her with Arran, or his revenge, but she had her feet beneath her, and so far his word had proven true.
Nobody had followed her outside, and nobody had stopped her exploration. It was oddly lonely.
The sound of footsteps behind her felt as if the universe had read her mind and summoned company for her. Victoria’s eyes snapped open, and she whirled around. “Sorry, I–”
Whatever excuse she might have uttered died on her lips when she was brought face to face with Arran’s younger sister, Kristin.
Victoria cursed herself mentally for not pressing the man for more details about his family and made sure to make a mental note that she would need to do so later tonight at dinner if there was an opportunity.
“Nay need for apologies,” Kristin said in a voice that sounded almost distant for how softly she spoke.
She spoke like a woman who had made a habit of crying too much, and her whole body and posture seemed utterly exhausted. Much more so than what could just be attributed to the baby that she still cradled protectively in her arms.
Victoria wished to get a better look at Ruby, but she did not think that it would be appropriate to do so.
“If anyone should apologize, it should be me,” Kristin continued. “I just wished to meet you… perhaps you would indulge me in a walk?”
Of course, she would be bound to have questions, but Victoria was not certain that it was going to be anything that she would be comfortable speaking about.
But then again, did she not owe it to her to explain what she could?
If Ruby truly was Charles’ daughter, then they would have been family had the engagement gone through.
“Of… of course we can,” Victoria answered somewhat bashfully.
They started to walk around the gardens slowly, not having any particular direction, and neither of them really seemed to be leading; they just moved for the sake of having something to do.
Which she was grateful for because she did not think that she would have been able to sit still and still have this sort of uncomfortable conversation.
“Are ye truly engaged to…” Kristin paused, like Charles’ name was something painful for her to say out loud.
“The Earl of Ashbrook? Yes, unfortunately, I was. I do not suppose that there is any point in pretending to have enjoyed the arrangement if you already know what sort of person he is,” Victoria answered, more bitterly than she had intended.
Her hands drifted together in front of herself, one rubbing at the other wrist and wishing that she still had her gloves to hide behind.
Kristin glanced down as she noticed the movement, but she did not comment on it.
“How did you have the misfortune of meeting him?” Victoria asked, unable to bear the quiet.
Kristin chewed her lip in consternation and, for a moment, Victoria thought she might not answer. But then, hesitantly, Arran’s sister began.
“He visited here for a while, and… my braither wasnae here, and the bastard was charmin’ and…
wooed me the way that any lass hopes to be wooed.
He made promises, told me he loved me,” she muttered.
“I made the mistake of… believing his sincerity and believing him when he said that we were as good as married in his mind, so what did it matter if we lay together. Once he had what he wanted, he left. Before I’d even woken up, he was gone without a word…
and I realized what a prized dolt I’d been, gettin’ tricked by such a man as that.
” She turned her focus down to the babe in her arms. “I cannae pretend to be anything other than heartbroken, but at least I got Ruby out of it…”
“She is precious,” Victoria agreed gently.
“How long have you two been engaged?” Kristin asked, getting to the heart of the matter. It was something that Victoria had already contemplated herself, if the child had been conceived while they were already betrothed. It would have only added insult to injury.
“Only for two months officially. Lord Ashbrook was courting me through most of the London Season and seemed to have had eyes only for me. Which, at the beginning, was nothing but flattering… but I suppose that once he thought that he had me, things changed for us as well.” She smiled thinly.
“The same trick, slightly different outcome.”
“A real sleekit, that one,” Kristin said, her lip curling upward before she spat at the ground beside them while they walked. “I daenae wish for ye to think that I have ill will toward ye, by any means.”
Victoria smiled softly. She would have never thought that she would have had friends here, but now the promise felt very enticing. “No, of course not. Nor do I have any toward you. He is a snake of the worst kind.”
It still felt like somehow, some way, he was going to overhear her speaking terribly about him and punish her.
“What did he do to ye?” Kristin asked, sounding almost guilty for even speaking the words.
Victoria held her breath as she held up her wrists for her to see, and then quickly dropped them, holding them anxiously behind her back.
She did not know what she was going to do if those wounds scarred.
“He did not like my doing things without his permission, such as leaving my rooms or speaking.” Her own lip curled in disgust, her nose crinkling.
“I was fooled, and he quickly pulled the rug out from under me. I am certain that he would have delighted in keeping me like a caged bird for whatever was left of my life had he succeeded in marrying me.”
Kristin shook her head. “I never would have thought that, somehow, I had got the better end of a deal in this sort of situation. I am sorry for ye.”
Victoria shrugged. “I was truly fortunate that your brother intruded when he did.”
As she said it out loud, she knew it to be true. She was grateful that he had appeared when he did, despite the chaos it would cause.
“Daenae worry, Arran is going to kill him, and he will absolutely ensure that the bastard suffers for what he did to us. Ye can mark me on that,” Kristin said with pure confidence in her words and a soft little smile.
“You all speak so casually about murder…” Victoria offered with a nervous laugh.
“When they deserve it? Absolutely. I willnae be ashamed of wishing him harm either, for he has harmed me, you, and who kens how many more. Do ye truly believe that he doesn’t deserve what is coming to him?”
Victoria could not answer, the question too nuanced in her mind. He deserved punishment, undoubtedly, but death? Her sensibilities just could not align with such violence.
“How did the Laird even know that the man who wronged you was the Earl in the first place?” she said instead, as the pair of them paused in their walk.
Ruby started to wiggle in her mother’s arms the moment that their motion stopped, and neither woman heard anyone approaching from behind them until a deep voice spoke.
“I’ll answer that if ye answer why ye were willing to marry him.”