Chapter 11 #2
Victoria did not comment, only continued to push her food around the plate.
“Is there… anything else waiting for ye back in London?” he said stiffly, getting the feeling that she was not too keen about him, or his men, nosing about in her world.
Perhaps there was another reason she wanted to return home to London.
What if she had not wished to marry the Earl because she was actually in love with someone else?
The very notion did not sit well with him.
It made his stomach feel sour just to think about it, a spike of something like jealousy catching him unawares.
Some bonny English lad who would squeal at the first sign of danger, and wouldnae ken a thing about pleasin’ her? He had to fight to stop his lip curling at the image of some unworthy fop pawing at her.
“A mountain of debt? If that is what you mean,” Victoria answered quietly.
Almost ashamed. “That is another thing that I have no choice but to think about. If the Earl were to die, all of my father’s debts would come due nearly instantly.
He would lose everything. Without our estate, he would be shunned from society, and my sister would never be able to marry.
We will both be considered fallen ladies with ruined reputations, cast out and friendless. ”
Arran might not have known the right things to say to her, but he did know all about paying parental debts. He leaned forward in his chair.
“I daenae think I like the sound of yer friends then.” He could not fathom what that must be like, for loyalty to be so threadbare. “Yer world seems very fragile if one person can say somethin’ wrong and ruin yer life without them even speakin’ to ye?”
Victoria lifted one shoulder in half a shrug. “I cannot allow my sister to go hungry, or die of shame. Marrying the Earl was my only option to ensure my sister’s future. I will not be shamed for making the choice that I had to make.”
Arran chewed on the inside of his cheek for a long moment.
He hated that a beast like the Earl had treated her so terribly, and that her society would have made her stay with such a demon.
He hated that her experiences of men all seemed so dire.
Most of all, he hated that she thought he was judging her in some way, when the only people he judged were those who had hurt her.
I’d destroy them all, if ye but asked. Or ye could stay here and do as ye please—all the things that would make yer weak English society gasp. I wouldnae mind helpin’ ye with that. If they were going to slander her name anyway, he figured she might as well give them something juicy to gossip about.
Would it be overstepping to remind her that he was also here for her?
That he was by her side and offering to help her with whatever she needed?
Would she wonder if he was asking for something in return?
He would never ask for something that was not willingly given, no matter how tempting she was or how his mind wandered.
“I never shamed ye, lass,” he said. “I was curious.”
Victoria’s chair made a scraping sound against the stone floor as she pushed back and stood up so that she could start to anxiously pace around the room. A frown was carving deep lines of unhappiness into her cheeks, and he hated it.
“After my first escape attempt, the Earl had my sister brought to his estate as a method of ensuring that I would behave and do as he wished. Melody was there when you invaded. I ordered her to a safe location, but I have no assurance that she even arrived safely, and I am worried sick about her.” Victoria worried at her fingers, pulling and tugging at them in an attempt to self-soothe.
“If she did, then it does not matter what happens to me, because I know that my friend shall not allow any harm to come to her. She will keep Melody as her ward without question. But… but if she did not…”
No wonder she could not settle. He had no right to complicate the issue further.
“It might be the only chance that she has to find a suitable husband after what I have done,” she concluded. “It is not as if I shall have any marriage prospects if the Earl casts me aside; nobody will want a ruined woman.”
“Daenae say that,” he interrupted. He could not sit here and pretend that he agreed with any of it, or that he understood. There were other options, but they just didn’t fit into the neat box that she had been shoved into her whole life. They didn’t handle things like that here in Scotland.
“What? That I would die? Or that no one would want me?”
Arran reached out and grabbed her forearm gently, just enough to stop her constant pacing.
He pulled her closer, and she awkwardly allowed herself to be led to stand in front of him, their thighs practically touching.
He locked his eyes on hers, even though he could tell that she was actively fighting the urge to look away.
When he spoke, his voice was lower than he had intended for it to be. “They’d be fools nae to want ye.”