Chapter 16
Hold your nerve. Do not back down.
Victoria might not have been a great warrior, or any sort of fighter at all, but a sense of terrible repetition had halted her on the way back to her room.
A feeling that if she ran from these men, it would be worse for her.
A sense that if she did not stand up to them, and stand up for herself, then she was just repeating recent history, allowing herself to be mistreated.
Now, she trembled against the wall at the turn of the corridor, but even if she shook, she would face those men with all the strength and dignity that Charles had tried to take from her. It sounded like they had not won in the study with Arran, and they would not win out here with her either.
Perhaps Arran would be mad at her for not returning to her room, or even for the fact that she had just eavesdropped shamelessly for the second time this afternoon—but she would deal with that part later.
I really must learn how to fight properly. But, for now, my voice will have to be enough.
The best way to handle a slight as grave as the one that she had just overheard? She would simply kill them with kindness. She would make it impossible for them to hate her, and that was that. She would ensure that no matter what, they were going to regret being so cruel to her.
Her nerves surged as she heard the men withdrawing from the study, their footsteps moving slowly in her direction. Before she could talk herself out of it, she stepped out of her eavesdropping spot and slowly, head up and shoulders back, walked to meet them.
An older man led the retreat. He was nursing his jaw, flexing it open and closed gently as he noticed her standing there.
Victoria dipped into a very polite curtsy. “Gentlemen, I wish to express my sincere gratitude for opening your clan to me. I cannot thank you enough for your kindness and for helping me during this difficult period of my life. Permitting me a safe haven, when I thought none existed.”
She kept her head bowed as she heard the men in the back grumbling guiltily to one another and muttering a response that she could not decipher. Angus seemed to be taking the longest to figure out how he wished to react, and she demurely lifted her eyes to speak to them once more.
“I am but one person, and perhaps that seems like nothing worth saving, but it means the world to me. I escaped a terrible fate because of the likes of you, and I shall never forget the noble and brave men of clan MacLeon, I promise you that,” Victoria finished, as she steeled herself and made the bold decision to show these men the mess of healing wounds on her wrists.
“Not all men, in my experience, have been so kind, nor so noble.”
She only needed to remember that there was a version of herself that existed before Charles had gotten his hooks into her, and that was what she needed to find again: her old self, the confident version of herself.
Violence was not the only way of winning a battle, and she certainly had no issues showing them that.
As the men passed, each of them muttered their own responses that she did not bother cataloguing. She knew that she had gotten her point across well enough. That was all that truly mattered.
When the last of the men had left the hallway that she stood in, she finally raised her head with a sense of triumph, only to find that Arran was standing in the open doorway to his study, smiling at her.
He could not help but chuckle, and perhaps she was mistaken, but he almost sounded proud of her.
“Ye have found a way to turn the brutes into humans,” Arran complimented with another shake of his head, and nodded her back into the study.
“I think that the reaction from your men only further proves that my plan is the best possible course of action for all of us moving forward,” Victoria said as soon as the door to the study was closed.
Arran lingered near the door for another few moments, seeming to listen to ensure that none of the men were on their way back toward them before moving to sit on the edge of his desk once more.
Victoria found that she was rather glad that he had not returned to his seat, because she liked being near to him.
“I willnae keep puttin’ ye at risk when we daenae ken what that man is capable of,” Arran protested.
“With respect, you are not putting me at risk; I am choosing this myself,” Victoria said, feeling emboldened. “My plan will work, and I think that you know it will work. I think you know it is our only option; you just have not accepted it yet.”
That rather reminds me of something. A shudder ran down her spine, thinking of how her plan might end: with Charles in chains or taking his last breath? Was there even an option, really?
“Ye cannae lure him here,” Arran insisted. “Nay, I forbid it.”
Victoria frowned, a prickle of suspicion running along the nape of her neck. “Why not? As far as I am concerned, it is the best possible solution. So, please do enlighten me as to why I am wrong.”
“It’s because of me,” Kristin’s voice came from behind them. “The wee one, rather.”
Ruby looked happy in her mother’s arms, reaching with her short, stubby fingers in Victoria’s direction. And Kristin seemed inclined to hand her over to Victoria.
Have I ever held a baby before? What if I drop her?
She had no choice but to hold her hands out and accept the child.
Ruby was so much heavier than she looked; clearly, she had been eating very well.
She babbled and cooed in her arms with the same happy smile as she reached for Victoria’s face.
Little fingers brushed against her skin softly as Ruby seemed more curious than anything.
It was still strange to her just how involved Kristin was in raising her daughter. The two of them seemed rather inseparable.
“Ye keep lookin’ at her like she’s somethin’ foreign. Have ye never seen a bairn before?” Kristin asked with a soft laugh.
“From a distance.”
“Certainly, ye’ve thought of havin’ children one day?” Kristin continued.
Victoria’s face flushed at the question as her gaze flicked over to Arran.
Was this an appropriate conversation? “Well, sure, I knew I would be expected to have an heir for my husband. I do not think that I ever gave it too much thought about how many children… whatever my husband wished, I suppose.”
“That sounds right miserable,” Kristin said with a crinkle in her nose.
“Well, I was raised by a governess. My mother died when I was young, and I did not truly have much to do with my father until I was of a reasonable age,” Victoria answered with a shrug. “I suppose that I never really realized that there was another option available.”
“Ruby is me only joy left in this life,” Kristin admitted sadly.
“Despite the sadness of her birth circumstances, I learn so much from her every day. Watchin’ her grow and explore as much as she is able?
I cannae explain how light it makes me heart.
I cannae imagine ever bein’ parted from her.
Certainly nae to have a governess raise her.
” Kristin shrugged and took the seat next to Victoria. “Perhaps that makes me strange.”
It felt wrong to press her for information, but Victoria was fortunate that Kristin seemed ready to speak and to tell more of her side of the story.
“I told ye already that the Earl made declarations of love to me. Despite the new rumors abounding about me, I didnae have light skirts. Nor am I a fast woman. I suppose that ye would ken better than most how charming a man he could be. I tried to fight it, but Charles set his sights on me… and I was helpless in the end.”
“Ye daenae have to explain anything,” Arran offered. “And I’ll kill anyone ye hear speakin’ such lies about ye.”
Kristin rolled her eyes and waved her brother off dismissively.
“I’m tired of silence, brother. If I sound like I’m strugglin’, it’s just because I havenae spoken his name since he left.
I willnae lie and claim that he forced me, or that I was taken advantage of in any way other than being a foolish woman in love.
When I discovered his trickery, he had taken off with a collection of very rare books from our library and was likely halfway across the country.
” She shrugged and wiped a tear from her face.
Only one, as if that was truly all that she was willing to spare on the likes of that man.
“Why did he want those books? Why were they worth everythin’ else?
Why did he lie? I daenae ken if I would feel any better knowing the answers to those things or nae. ”
Ruby reached for her mother, and Victoria carefully handed her over, afraid the squirming child might slip from her arms. It was funny how quickly she could feel herself falling in love with the little girl.
“I daenae wish for him to know about her, or about me. I daenae wish to see his face again. But someday, when Ruby is older… she’s going to want to know about her Pa, and I want to be able to look her in the eye and tell her that he was properly punished for his crimes against the pair of us.
He doesnae get to enjoy his life, or find happiness, or create another family when the one that he had already started is apparently nae good enough for him. ”
So, that is why Arran does not want to use my plan. He did not want Charles at the keep, where he might find out about his daughter, or where Kristin might have to face that wretch again.
Victoria bit down on her bottom lip to keep from speaking. She understood where Kristin was coming from, and why she would be so angry. “But… does he need to die for that?”
Kristin smiled at her sadly, but it seemed a more pitying sadness than anything personal.
“I think that ye are very strong for comin’ here, for doin’ what ye need to do to make this better for yerself.
” She nodded down to Victoria’s wrists pointedly, and Victoria had to fight the urge to tuck them behind her.
They were not yet fully scarred, but she hated the sight of them.
“Tell me, do ye think that he should be allowed the chance to do this to another woman?”
Victoria had thought of that, of course she had, but she remained steadfast.
“Well, if he is imprisoned…”
“Can ye tell me, in the world that ye come from, that a man like him will actually see justice for what he has done?” Kristin said flatly, echoing her brother’s previous sentiments; the somber truth that Victoria had run from.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Victoria said nothing.
“This needs to happen, and if that means me musterin’ me damned courage and havin’ that beast come near again, so be it.
If ye can be brave, Victoria, so can I. So, lure him here, for the both of us.
” Kristin glanced at her brother. “I like her plan, but ye’re the great tactician.
If ye have a better idea, ye’d best think of it quickly. ”
With a mumble of “this will all be over soon” that she whispered to herself and to her child, she turned and excused herself from the room.
Being left alone with Arran once more was almost too much, considering that she was certain that, moments ago, he would have kissed her again if they had not been interrupted.
If this plan goes ahead, this will soon be over too. Perhaps she ought to think about the unfortunate realities of her situation and the fact that when this was all over and done with, she would have to return home to her sister, where they would both have to find husbands.
It was not as if she could actually stay here, could she? No, she did not think that would be feasible… no matter how fond of this place she was starting to become.
“Well, I will say that I hope for her sake and her peace, that she is right and that all of this will be over soon.” Victoria attempted to push levity into her tone, wanting to leave things on a positive note.
She needed to head back to her room so that she could think things over.
So many new revelations had been made in such a short time.
“Also, when I am no longer a thorn in your clan’s side, then perhaps your council will forgive you as well. ”
It tore something in her heart to think about the fact that one day soon, she would no longer be able to look at his face whenever she chose. She would not have him lingering in doorways and his arms to keep her feeling safe.
After all, it was all just words, was it not? She could not keep him; they were from two wholly separate worlds. She forced a small smile onto her face, hoping that it looked a good deal more convincing than it actually felt from her end.
“I hope that, now, you will give my idea some serious thought… and I shall let you return to your work. I am certain that it is most important.”
Arran nodded, his hand rubbing at the lower half of his face with an expression that she could not fully read. “Right, work,” he answered noncommittally and gestured to the study door.
She did not need to be told twice.
But walking out of that room? The tension that she felt? She might as well be breaking her own heart in two.