Chapter Nineteen
“Honestly, I’m just glad I ain’t going crazy,” Samuel said. “Sadie thinks I’m completely blind, but knowing you can’t find them tools either is a relief.”
Jed nodded, switching hands as Lila circled around him for the third time in under a minute.
She’d nearly twisted his arm with her antics, though in her defense, Lila didn’t quite understand that body parts couldn’t bend in certain ways.
After the fourth attempt, Jed grasped both her hands in his and encouraged her to walk forward, which the toddler delighted in doing.
“She’s getting awful good!” Samuel praised.
Jed nodded, walking Lila toward the barn.
As thoughtful as dinner had been, he was having a hard time sitting still amongst his new friends.
Edgar’s plan continued to bubble in the back of his mind, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep the metaphorical cork on the ever-pressurized bottle.
He’d managed to keep the information to himself so far, and he was relieved that Maeve still treated him normally enough.
But there were brief moments–an exchange they shared during their meal, or a look in her eyes while they spoke about something mundane–that led Jed to believe she knew something was off with him.
That he was keeping something from her. Even so, she continued as if that wasn’t the case, seemingly giving Jed a chance to work it out for himself.
Though, as he and Lila reached the barn wall once again, Jed wasn’t sure how much longer her patience would last.
“You hear me, Jed?”
Jed blinked, glancing Samuel’s way with an apologetic nod. “Ah, no. Sorry, Sam. My mind were elsewhere just then.”
Samuel chuckled lightly, sticking his hands in his overall pockets. “Reckon you and I both got some awful senses, Jed. Though if you promise to be my eyes, I’m happy to be your ears when needed.”
‘His smile’s so…genuine.’
The thought gave Jed pause. He hadn’t really noticed it before, but the way the Wright brothers acted, the way they spoke around other folks, it was nothing like Thomas in the slightest. His old friend had always put on a friendly air, but with distance, Jed realized there was always something sinister beneath his pasted-on smile.
Something holier-than-thou in the words and phrases he chose to use.
Back then, Jed hadn’t had any other close male friends to compare his chosen brother to.
Now that he did, Thomas’ manipulative nature seemed so obvious.
“What I said earlier,” Samuel began, “were about them bandits who shot up your house.”
Jed’s attention was immediately caught. “Joshua mentioned y’all were setting up a patrol. Did you catch any of ‘em?”
Samuel scowled briefly, but his expression brightened just as quickly as he began his reply. “No, but we did find a few of their nearby camps! Broke ‘em up beyond repair, so I doubt they’ll be able to strike as hard as they did before.”
Jed hadn’t realized how desperate he’d been to hear such good news. He helped Lila readjust herself before they began to walk away from the barn once more, each one of his steps feeling far lighter than the last. “Y’all let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“Aw, no worries, Jed! I know you got that there li’l one to keep safe.” Sam grinned, briefly hunching down to give Lila a teasing tickle. In turn, Lila let out a giggly squeal, freeing one of her hands from Jed and reaching toward Samuel, as if trying to tickle him back.
“Ooh noo, she got me!” Samuel’s hands wrapped around the toddler’s waist, and as Jed let her other hand go, both she and Samuel went carefully tumbling to the ground. Lila sat triumphantly atop Samuel’s chest, her fingers wiggling across him as Samuel let out a bellowing laugh.
Jed couldn’t help but stare at the sight. Thomas would never have humbled himself in such a way. That man didn’t have a selfless bone in his body, and he’d made it seem as if that were simply the way the whole world was.
‘And yet…Sam’s got no problem with showing weakness.’
Jed inhaled slowly, letting the breath burn in his lungs before it rushed back out. Then he carefully lifted Lila up off Samuel, placing her on his hip while offering a free hand to the younger Wright. “Sam, I…I gotta tell you something.”
Samuel’s expression immediately shifted at Jed’s tone. He took Jed’s hand firmly, rolling up to his feet as an air of seriousness settled around the once-laughing man. He looked fully committed to listening to Jed; in fact, his level of focus was almost unnerving.
“This– This ain’t easy for me to say. I ain’t had the best track record with trusting folks.”
Another breath.
“I dunno if Maeve told you ‘bout our visit to town. ‘Bout how I’d go out and not tell her where I were at?”
Samuel tilted his head. “Can’t say she has.”
Jed’s heart skipped a beat. She really was giving him complete control of his situation and waiting for him to come to her about it. It was a strange feeling, a sort of trust he wasn’t used to. He had to make sure it wasn’t wasted. “I swear to you, it weren’t for any insidious reason.”
“Never thought it were,” Samuel assured him.
Jed’s mouth went dry. It took him a moment to begin speaking again, so taken aback he was at how much trust Samuel really had in him. “I were meeting with an old friend of mine. A lawyer, from Cheyenne. He…”
Jed paused. Breathed. Considered how much he really wanted to say.
“It crossed my mind that…if my lawyer friend found me here in Bighorn, then some other folks from my past could just as easily do the same. Folks who’d be right at home with the local bandits ‘round here. Folks who…who wouldn’t be happy with me talking with this lawyer friend of mine.”
Jed’s tongue grew numb. Had he said too much? Did Samuel now think he was once a bandit himself? He stared nervously at the younger Wright, trying to discern the man’s opinion of him.
Samuel’s brow had risen throughout the conversation, and a small frown had appeared on his face. He, too, was scrutinizing Jed, glancing between him and Lila. Jed couldn’t tell what the man was thinking, and the longer the silence lingered between them, the worse his chest tightened.
Then Samuel finally let out a sigh, crossing his arms loosely over his chest. “Can you give Joshua any details ‘bout these folks? He’s got far more manpower than I do, so I reckon he’d be able to spot ‘em before I did.”
Jed’s chest remained tight. “His… Their ringleader’s name is Thomas Gedney.
He dresses awful neat. Good hair, waxed moustache.
He might even ask ‘bout me if he crosses into Bighorn.” Jed paused, then added hastily, “I–I never met the shady folk he delt with, though. I couldn’t tell you what they looked like. I…I’m sorry.”
It took a moment before Samuel shook his head. “No, that’s alright. I bet Joshua’ll have no problems keeping an eye out for someone that looks like him.” His expression softened as he added, “You ain’t told Maeve ‘bout this yet, have you?”
Jed shamefully shook his head. “I…I don’t want her fretting. But I knew someone had to know, someone who could do something more than just worry about the possibility.”
A small smile crossed Samuel’s face. “This was really eating at you, weren’t it?”
Jed nodded weakly. He’d been terrified to share even a drop of the truth, but now it came as a relief to know others would be in the loop.
There was too much at stake to keep his past completely hidden away.
He glanced toward Lila, whose head had begun to lull as she blinked furiously.
Jed shifted her against his chest, bouncing her gently as sleep took hold.
‘Every choice I make affects her too,’ he reminded himself. And Jed would ensure those choices led to the safest outcome possible for her.
Samuel closed the distance between them, setting a reassuring hand on Jed’s shoulder. “I ain’t one to gossip, so I’ll only tell Joshua about this. I… Thank you fer trusting me, Jed.”
Jed nodded again, a bit more firmly this time. “Thanks for being a man, a-a friend…I can trust.”
Samuel’s smile remained, but his tone sharpened. “I wouldn’t keep this from Maeve, though. She’ll find out one way or another, and it’d be better if it came outta your mouth.”
Jed knew he was right. And, admittedly, telling Samuel had helped loosen the anxiety he had around the idea. Telling Maeve didn’t feel as impossible as it once had. He would still need some time to find the right words, but the inevitable conversation now felt more achievable.
Maeve’s scream cut through the air at that moment, souring whatever hope was beginning to build in his chest.
Without a word, Samuel grabbed Lila as Jed sprinted into the barn.
Every horrific scenario ran through his mind at once: a bandit hidden away, Mossy’s body hidden beneath a pile of hay, or something even worse; but as he stumbled into the barn proper, all he saw was Maeve on her knees in one of the abandoned stalls.
She hadn’t even noticed Jed coming in, completely consumed in her anguished wailing.
He looked around frantically, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.
No sign of intruders, no blood on the floor.
And it was the same with Maeve as he approached her; aside from her obvious distress, nothing seemed physically wrong with his wife.
“Maeve!” Jed sank to his knees, taking Maeve’s shoulders before giving them a gentle shake. “Maeve, what’s wrong?”
Finally, Maeve became aware of Jed’s presence. She stared at him, teary-eyed, before her face scrunched and she began to wail even harder than before. She threw herself forward, forcing Jed to catch her in an embrace as she sobbed, immediately soaking his work shirt with her tears.
At that moment, all Jed could think to do was hold her.
He made sure his grip was gentle but firm, hopefully creating a sense of steadiness that would hold Maeve’s head above whatever grief she was currently drowning in.
As she cried, he continued to glance around the barn, trying desperately to find the source of her agony.
But nothing jumped out at him. Everything seemed perfectly ordinary.
“H-his tools–!”
It was the only thing she managed to gasp out before breaking down once again.
The words settled heavily in Jed’s chest, and he found himself looking around the stall itself more closely.
The space had long ago been converted into a storage area of sorts, with a number of saddles and ropes hung up for later use.
An inkling of a memory slowly dripped in, and suddenly it became obvious what was missing from the setting.
“Your father’s tools,” Jed said softly.
Maeve all but confirmed his suspicion with another fresh wave of tears.
She grasped tightly at the back of his shirt, clearly looking for something to hold on to.
Jed strengthened his grip around her, holding her close against his chest as the terrible realization scraped at his heart.
Her father’s tools, held in the small box that had all but blended into the background, were gone.
The bandits had managed to get into the barn the night of the attack.
How they’d done so, and why they’d only taken the tools didn’t matter at this moment in time.
All Jed could do was hold his wife as she spiraled into despair.
“H-He’s gone,” Maeve wailed. “He’s s-slipping through my fingers bit by bit.”
Jed stroked her hair gently. She let out a hiccupping sob and buried herself deeper into his chest.
“I–I couldn’t keep hold of the last of him.”
Jed gave her a firm squeeze. It was so out of character, seeing Maeve in such distress. She always seemed such a pillar of strength; it was a bit unnerving, being reminded how fragile she truly was.
“He’s gone, Jed. Every part of him keeps getting taken away. I–I’m not ready. I’m not ready to lose him.”
Jed carefully wiped her cheek with his palm. Maeve leaned into the touch, causing his heart to flutter.
“I…I’m sorry, Maeve. There ain’t a thing I can say that’ll change things.
You got every right to be scared. To be angry.
” He inhaled deeply, noticing Maeve following suit.
After he exhaled, he waited for Maeve to do so as well, then took another breath.
Slowly, she managed to bring herself back to some sense of stability, edging back from the brink of collapse.
“His spirit ain’t hanging around in some tools. It’s only stuff, Maeve. It hurts to lose it, but it ain’t what connects you two.” As if to prove his point, Jed gently removed his hand from Maeve’s face and took off his mother’s hat, only to toss it to the side.
Maeve let out a sharp gasp. “J-Jed!”
“My Ma ain’t that hat, Maeve. It’s the memories that hat represents, the memories that ain’t gonna vanish if that hat ain’t on my head.
” He pulled her into a proper hug, catching her breathing deeply again before slowly letting it out.
“Your Pa wouldn’t care a lick about that stuff.
He’d care ‘bout what you’re doing with your life.
And I reckon he’s awful proud of what he’s seeing from up there, right alongside your Ma. ”
Jed eventually pulled away. Maeve’s eyes were still red, but her tears had slowly begun to dry.
She wiped her face with a shuddering breath, putting everything she had left into some approximation of a smile.
It was the greatest smile Jed had ever seen from her, one he was certain he’d keep in his mind until the day God called him back home.
“Th-Thank you, Jed.” Maeve made to stand and Jed quickly followed suit, giving her whatever support she needed. Though she wobbled a bit on her feet, Maeve seemed to have fully broken through the surface of her grief, her spirited spark steadying and slowly beginning to dry the rest of her tears.
It was clear Maeve needed to know she still had a family. Part of Jed knew he had to do something to prove it further…but the other part was clueless as to how he could.
Jed’s attention wandered toward a pile of wood shards that had been cleared away after the shootout.
It was a mismatch of timber, some shorn off the cabin walls while others were old fence posts riddled with bullet holes and barbed wire anchor points.
His brow furrowed, and an idea slowly began to piece itself together.
One that required the help of his new friends, and a bit of secrecy.