21 | sweet dreams
William pulled out a stool at the bar. ‘Stay here,’ he said, pointing at it. ‘I’ll come back for you as soon as I’ve found Andy.’
I hopped up on it and nodded. ‘Okay.’
He leaned down and kissed me, making my chest flutter. It felt so strange to be lavished with kisses from him. Smiling, he pulled away and then looked at the bartender, summoning her attention.
‘Give her a bottle of water, please,’ he said, jerking his head in my direction, and reached into his pocket. He withdrew his wallet and left a tenner on the counter. ‘Keep the change.’ He turned, gave me a smiling look, and then left.
As I gazed after him, I sensed that I was starting to sober up. The gravity of what I had done with him was slowly beginning to dawn on me, but I wasn’t ready to face up to it yet. I wanted the blissful ignorance to last just a little longer. Tomorrow, I would take accountability and weather the storm caused by my actions, but for now, I wanted to exist without thoughts, only feelings.
Turning, I said to the bartender, ‘Could you give me three shots of tequila as well, please?’ I opened my purse.
‘Of course, love.’ She smiled.
I necked them one after the other, feeling the heat slide down my throat and numb my panic .
I wasn’t sure how long I had been sitting there when William came back alone, but somehow it felt like ages that had been wrapped up in mere minutes – a sign that I was drunk.
‘Cara?’
I struggled to keep a steady gaze on him. The tequila had blunted my senses and slowed my reflexes.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, furrowing his brows.
I narrowed my eyes, hoping it would make him stop spinning. Maybe three shots had been overdoing it.
‘I’m a bit drunk,’ I said. ‘Where’s Andy?’
‘I haven’t found him yet. Man’s not answering his phone either.’
It took me a while to process what he was saying. ‘Okay. I’ll keep waiting.’
‘No, we’re leaving. You look like you’re about to pass out.’
‘Okay.’ I slid off my stool and nearly lost my balance.
‘Jesus Christ.’ William rushed to grab my arms, holding me upright. ‘What happened?’ he asked, his eyes flitting to the bar. ‘Did she spike your water or something? You weren’t this ... unwell when I left you.’
‘I had three shots of tequila,’ I confessed, unable to fix my gaze on his. ‘Bad idea.’
‘You what? What the hell did you do that for?’
‘I was sobering up.’ I shrugged. ‘I just wanted to ... not be doing that.’
He pressed his lips together. ‘Well, you’re a fucking idiot.’
‘Yes.’ I nodded.
‘Come on, I’m taking you home.’ He wrapped his arm around my waist.
As we were walking out – clumsily, thanks to me – William suddenly spotted Andy among a group of women.
‘Andy!’ he shouted, his body tensing against mine. He was fuming, I could tell. ‘Put your dick away and get the hell over here!’
Resembling a scared dog, Andy moved toward us.
‘Why weren’t you answering your phone?’ William asked. ‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you.’
‘It’s probably on silent, I’m sorry. And I didn’t think to check it because I thought you were still busy with Cara.’ Andy looked at me then. ‘Goodness, is she all right?’
‘She’s completely off her face,’ William said and jerked me toward him when I nearly collapsed. ‘I need to take her home, but I’m not leaving you here – I leave you alone for two minutes, and this is what happens. Have you got no self-restraint? If Chloe had seen this...’
‘Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. I swear, sometimes, you’d think you were her boyfriend.’
William inhaled deeply. ‘Well, sometimes, I think she’d be better off with a man like me.’
Andy shot him a baleful look. ‘Careful, Will.’
‘Sorry, tough love.’
My stomach turned, the contents rising to my throat. It demanded all my remaining strength to swallow it back down.
‘Will,’ I moaned.
‘You – oh, for fuck’s sake, Cara. Are you going to be sick?’
I shook my head. ‘Just take me home, please.’
Dipping into his pocket, William produced his ticket for the cloakroom and handed it to Andy. ‘Fetch our things – and be quick about it. I’ll meet you outside.’
I had nearly passed out by the time William put me in a taxi. When he slid in next to me, I laid my head on his shoulder and surrendered to the darkness.
§ § §
I woke up to the sound of Jason’s voice. ‘Bloody hell, is she all right?’
‘She’s absolutely plastered,’ William said.
I heard a car door close, and it felt like I was moving, but not by myself.
‘Could you hold the door for me?’ William asked.
‘Yeah,’ Jason said.
When I finally found the strength to open my eyes, I saw the underside of William’s sharp, square jaw. He was carrying me across his chest, up a set of stairs. Where were we?
This angle made me feel sick again. It looked like the stairs above us were spinning. I wouldn’t be able to hold it down for much longer.
‘Will,’ I whimpered. ‘Toilet.’
‘Shit.’ He looked at me, grimacing. ‘Just hold it in for one more minute. We’re almost there.’
Jason rushed past us and opened the door to our flat, holding it for William.
The second William put me on the floor of the bathroom, I lifted the lid of the toilet and vomited.
‘Cara’ – William sighed as he gathered my hair to hold it for me – ‘ you really are an idiot.’
‘Yes,’ I squeaked as I retched and retched until nothing came out. Tears welled in my eyes from vomiting so hard. Leaning away, I rested my head against the cold glass of the shower.
‘I can’t believe she got that drunk, especially in front of her boss,’ Jason said from the doorway. ‘You might be my brother, but for heaven’s sake. This is so unlike her.’
‘We haven’t exactly been together all night,’ William said. ‘She and Ellie were supposed to go to a club just the two of them, but then Andy and I asked to come along. We lost each other in the club. I suppose she didn’t expect to find me again.’
He was sort of lying, but I appreciated it. I was certain I would wake up to proper angst tomorrow.
‘ You asked to come along? Wearing that?’ Jason seemed flummoxed. ‘And since when do you go clubbing?’
‘That’s enough,’ William said, sounding like a parental figure.
‘Are you drunk as well?’
‘A bit.’
‘Well, you can sleep here if you’re too tired to go home. I’m sorry you had to babysit Cara, man. I’m embarrassed on her behalf.’
‘It’s all right. It’s not the first time I’ve had to babysit a drunk idiot.’ William shot him a look. ‘But yeah, I’ll sleep over.’
Jason rubbed the back of his head. ‘Can I get you anything?’
‘I think Cara could use some water. She’s completely emptied her stomach. While you’re at it, bring some for me as well.’
‘On it.’ Jason turned and left.
Sighing, William reached over and flushed the toilet after me. As he leaned back, his hand skimmed my cheek, brushing my hair away.
‘Come on, darling,’ he said. ‘You need to brush your teeth.’ He grabbed my arms and lifted me. Tearless sobs escaped while I grimaced in protest. Although I felt better after puking, all I wanted was my bed.
He managed to make me stand, though he kept his arm around my waist.
‘Will, I’m so sorry,’ I said, but I slurred the words and struggled to keep a steady gaze on him in the mirror. ‘I didn’t mean to ruin your night.’
He raised a brow and shook his head. ‘We’ll talk in the morning. Which one’s yours?’ he asked, indicating the two toothbrushes.
‘Green.’
Jason returned, tossing William a bottle of water. As he undid the cap of another, he came toward me.
‘Cara.’ He sighed. ‘This isn’t like you. You’re worrying me.’
I wrapped my feeble hand around the bottle. ‘Well, I’ve had a rough couple of weeks.’
‘Clearly.’ He planted a firm kiss on my forehead and rubbed my arms. ‘I’ll make you a full English for breakfast tomorrow, yeah?’
‘I love you,’ I cooed and attacked him with a hug.
He chuckled and pressed me against him. ‘Love you too, idiot.’ He didn’t release me as he turned toward his brother. ‘Poker night still on tomorrow?’ he asked while I raised my bottle to my lips.
‘Of course,’ William said after a mouthful from his own. ‘Have you got a spare toothbrush?’
‘Yeah. Bottom left drawer.’
After Jason and William had forced me to brush my teeth and rinse my mouth to get rid of my bad breath, they helped me to my bedroom, where I changed into my pink silk nightie. Jason tucked me into bed while William leaned against the doorpost with a brooding expression on his face.
When my eyes closed, Jason said, ‘She’s going to pass out any moment now. You know where my bedroom is.’
‘You’re sleeping here again? With her?’ William asked, and his voice lacked any trace of emotion.
‘Yeah.’
‘Jason, is there something you haven’t told me?’
‘What?’
‘Why do you always insist on sleeping with her?’
‘We do it all the time,’ Jason said, sounding confused.
‘But you haven’t had sex with her, right?’
‘What? What the hell have you been drinking tonight, Will?’
‘Fair question.’
‘No, of course I haven’t.’
‘Ever wanted to?’
‘Oh, piss off, Will.’ I could hear that Jason was losing his patience. I had called it: if there was one person in this world whom I thought capable of stirring Jason’s temper, it was William, and I was currently hearing it live.
‘Don’t,’ William said.
‘Don’t what?’ Jason snapped.
‘Don’t fuck her. I have. ’
Complete silence filled the room for seconds that felt like hours. I had been close to drifting off, but now I was only pretending to be asleep. Although I was drunk, I wasn’t so drunk that this didn’t send my heart racing in panic, and vomiting had made me feel much soberer.
When Jason found his voice, it was low and cold. ‘Are you taking the piss?’
‘No,’ William said. ‘It was sort of an accident at first, but I’ve every intention of doing it again, so I thought you should know.’ His voice was devoid of emotion. He might as well have been reading a sheet of instructions.
‘What the hell, Will? That’s my fucking flatmate! She also happens to be my best friend!’
‘Yes, I know. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not.’
Jason whirled around in my bed and grabbed my shoulders, and he shook them so hard that I would have been an idiot to pretend I was asleep.
‘Cara! Tell me he’s joking!’
‘He’s joking,’ I said.
‘Are you lying?’
‘Yes,’ I squeaked.
He quickly released me. ‘What the actual fuck, Cara? And you haven’t told me?’ He was fuming.
Tears brimmed in my eyes. I was far too drunk to handle this right now.
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to have sex with him.’ My voice was light and feeble and broke at several points. ‘I wasn’t aware he was your brother at the time. Had I known, I would never have done it.’
‘For fuck’s sake, you guys. This is unbelievable.’ Jason groaned and dropped his head between his hands.
‘Jason, I’m really sorry.’ My tears ran over. ‘I didn’t want to tell you because it was an accident, and it had only happened once. I thought it would be best to just leave it at that.’
Clearly despairing, Jason shook his head. ‘I honestly can’t believe this has happened.’ He turned and glowered at his brother. ‘You really are an absolute prick, Will.’
‘Really?’ William frowned. ‘And how is that, exactly? It’s not like my intention here is to make your life any harder. I can’t help that she’s...Well, that she’s her.’ He gestured to my figure in the bed.
I looked at William, my tears coursing down my cheeks. He had betrayed me, and for what? Why had he done this? I was so upset with him, so angry.
‘Why did you tell him?’ I asked. ‘You promised me you wouldn’t.’ I snuffled and wiped my face. ‘Don’t you think you could at least have warned me before you decided to drop the bomb on him?’
Jason gaped at me. ‘You made him promise not to tell?’
‘I was scared of how you would react,’ I said, my voice quivering. ‘Jason, I was scared you’d be angry with me – that you’d stop being friends with me.’
Jason turned to William. ‘Does Dad know about this?’
William raised a brow. ‘Of course he doesn’t, and I wouldn’t tell him either if I were you.’
‘When?’ Jason asked.
William frowned. ‘When what?’
‘When did it happen?’
William shrugged and rubbed his neck. ‘April.’
Jason gasped. ‘April!’
‘Yeah. She was at Disrepute, with Olivia. Remember I told you I’d met a girl named Sandra there?’
Jason was quiet for several seconds, seemingly struck by shock. ‘Oh my God,’ he breathed out. ‘Sandra? That was Cara ?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Jesus Christ, it all makes sense. Ah, shit. Fuck.’ Jason raked his hands through his hair. ‘I should never have recommended that bar to her. If I hadn’t, we could all have avoided this.’
‘Jason, we’re brothers. It was only a matter of time before I’d meet her. You’d only be postponing the inevitable – we would have ended up fucking one way or another. Calm down.’
‘Calm down? You’re telling me to calm down when you’ve fucked my best friend behind my back, and she turns out to be the girl you were so hung up on?’ He shook his head and turned toward me. ‘And you – you’ve lied to me for months!’
‘I didn’t lie,’ I said, but my voice broke again. ‘I omitted, Jason.’
‘The result is the same,’ he said, smouldering with bitterness. ‘Cara, I am so disappointed in you right now.’
‘Jason, please.’ I reached for him, but he writhed away from my touch. ‘I didn’t know what to do,’ I explained, upset. ‘I was afraid you’d pick him.’
‘I don’t want to hear it. I need to think. You’ve had some fucking cheek, asking me about Will and “Sandra”.’
‘Has she?’ William asked, surprised.
Jason ignored him. ‘How could you do that, Cara? How could you play me for a fool like that?’
I sobbed. ‘Jason, I’m so sorry. I was only trying to find out what was going on. I never meant to hurt him. I really didn’t. And I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want to put you in a situation where you’d have to choose between us. I thought it would be best if Will and I kept it strictly between us and sorted it out like adults .’ I glared at William upon my last statement.
He looked away, his face twisting with obvious remorse, but he said nothing.
Jason turned toward me again and stared at me for some time. Finally, his eyes softened. ‘What about Aaron? Is he aware of any of this?’
‘No.’ I started bawling at the thought of Aaron. ‘I-I haven’t t-thought this through at all.’
Jason crawled over and hugged me. ‘Oh, Cara, I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen.’ He squeezed me against him. ‘I’m sorry I freaked out. I’m just a bit shocked, and I’m worried about how this will turn out.’
His compassion only made me cry harder. I felt so terrible for the position I had put him in.
‘Good God, look at you two,’ William said. ‘This is ridiculous. I honestly don’t understand what the problem is. I want her, she wants me. It really is that simple. So yes, we kept it a secret for a while, but the cat’s out of the bag now. Isn’t that just a relief?’
‘Will, sometimes, I seriously think Mum dropped you when you were a baby,’ Jason chided. ‘She’s upset. You don’t always have to agree with the reason.’
‘I clearly picked the wrong brother,’ I said, sniffing. I didn’t really mean it, but I was still so angry with him.
William’s eyes turned steely. ‘Oh, come on, love. What do you want me to do, then?’
‘I want you to leave me alone.’
He looked to the heavens for aid. ‘Why her?’ he asked. ‘Just...why her?’
When Jason saw it, he smiled widely.
William lowered his head again, sighing. ‘All right. Get out, then, Jase. I’ll deal with her. ’
‘No! I don’t want you near me,’ I said.
He shook his head and approached. ‘Yes, you do.’
‘You broke my trust!’
‘Like you haven’t broken shit yourself, Cara,’ he said bitterly, and I gasped.
‘Jason,’ I called, for help.
‘See, this is what I mean. Don’t drag me into this. This is your mess. I’m not taking any sides in this –ever. ’ His brows curved with annoyance.
‘Jason,’ William said as he reached the bed, ‘we can either sleep here all three, or you can get out. One way or another, I’m not leaving her side until we’ve reconciled.’
‘I’ll see you in the morning.’ Jason released me and climbed out of the bed. ‘Try not to kill each other.’
‘No promises,’ I said and folded my arms. Irritated, I watched him close the door after himself. He didn’t so much as look at me, probably because the expression on my face would have changed his mind.
‘Well, then,’ William said and raised his hands to the line of buttons on his waistcoat.
I turned over and glared holes into the wall beside my bed. ‘Could you sleep on the sofa, please?’
‘No.’
‘Then don’t touch me. I will bite off your fingers.’
He chuckled. ‘And here I thought you preferred them inside you.’
My cheeks boiled at his quip. ‘William!’
‘Cara.’
‘Urgh!’ I shuddered. I could tear him to shreds.
He sighed. ‘You’ll feel better in the morning. Jason deserved to know. You’ll see that, eventually.’
‘You could at least have warned me that you meant to tell him! Instead you made me look like the most deceitful wench on the planet!’
‘Cara, I’ll take care of it. I’ll explain things to him in the morning, and I’ll make sure he’ll forgive you.’
A sudden rush of more tears sprang to my eyes. ‘He was so hurt, Will. I really hurt him – my best friend.’
‘He doesn’t like being deceived.’
‘But I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t want to—’
‘I know, Cara, and I’ll tell him that. Don’t worry, I’ll have your back.’
I closed my eyes and turned mute on him while he undressed, killed the lights, and then climbed into my bed.
‘Give me at least a portion of your duvet, Cara.’
‘No. You don’t deserve it. I’m hoping you’ll die of cold during the night.’
He sighed. ‘It’s summer. It would prove difficult.’
‘Well, I feel like a glacier, so perhaps that might help.’
‘More like a volcano, I think.’
‘If that’s the case, then I hope the pyroclastic flow of my eruption will kill you off,’ I fired back with a frown, horribly annoyed.
‘You are such a nerd, and I fucking love that about you,’ he said, making my chest contract. ‘Pyroclastic flow,’ he echoed. ‘Honestly, I am amazed by your flair for comebacks. You’re fucking sharp. You’re going to make an exceptional solicitor one day.’
My heart was acting strange, all tingly and light, when I was supposed to be pissed off, but the way he handled my blows only reminded me why I fancied him so much. He wasn’t intimidated by me – at all. He stood up to me, and it turned me on like nothing else. I needed a man like him, or else I would grow bored within the span of a mere breath.
Suddenly he gripped my duvet. With brutal force, he dragged it off me completely and rolled himself into the entirety of it. He exhaled then, audibly satisfied.
‘William!’
‘Yes, darling?’ he replied with a tone of infuriating contentment.
‘I swear I’ll kill you one of these days!’ I whirled to face him.
‘You’d regret it,’ he said self-assuredly. God, he really knew how to stir my temper. ‘If you give me a kiss, I’ll share.’
‘That’s blackmail.’
He snorted. ‘It isn’t. It’s bargaining.’
I folded my arms and realised suddenly that I didn’t have to stay here. I could sleep in Jason’s bed, or on the sofa.
I had crawled halfway over William’s large body when he suddenly freed his arms and wrapped them around me. ‘Where are you going?’
‘Out!’
‘Why?’
‘To sleep on the sofa!’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. Here.’ He rearranged the duvet so that it covered us both, hooked his strong arms around me, and pulled me toward his warm, naked chest.
Divided, I lay rigid against him, paralysed by my confusion. Part of me wanted to leave, another wanted to remain in exactly the same place.
‘Cara,’ he cooed and nuzzled his face in the crook of my neck. ‘Just sleep. You can kill me in the morning.’
‘I intend to.’
‘Then you should make good use of my heat while you still can,’ he said smugly and wrapped his leg over mine.
How had it come to this? This was not how I had anticipated my night would end.
‘You’re a bloody headache, but I do adore you,’ he purred and kissed the slope of my neck.
‘If I’m a headache, you’re a tumour.’
He shook with mirth. ‘That’s an original way of saying you can’t take your mind off me. I’m happy to know it’s mutual.’
I moaned. He had an unmatched ability to twist my words.
He squeezed me against him. ‘Drunk out of your mind, and still, you maintain your bravado. I take my hat off to you.’
Silence ensued. I was nearly asleep when he propped himself on his elbow beside me and leaned over my figure. As light as a feather, his fingers tucked my hair behind my ear. Then he lowered his lips to my cheek. He left a prolonged kiss there.
‘I’m not going to hurt you, Cara. You’ve nothing to be afraid of. If you give me a chance, I’ll take good care of you, I promise.’
Affection set my heart ablaze. I pressed my lips together, and it took some time until I was calm enough to reply.
‘I don’t want you to take care of me. I want to take care of myself.’
He hesitated. ‘Cara, I ... This fear of commitment, it’s so extreme. Has someone hurt you? Is that why you’re like this? Please be honest – help me understand.’
I sighed. ‘No. You know I’ve never been in a relationship. They scare me.’
‘Why?’
‘The ownership,’ I said. ‘I can’t stand the idea of it. I want to be free. I want to be free to do exactly what I want, when I want, without having to show consideration to anybody else.’
He fell silent for some time. ‘I’ll wait for you, then.’
My chest throbbed. ‘What?’
‘I’ll wait till you’re ready. I can’t give you up – I just can’t.’
Tears pricked my eyes. I was deeply moved. Turning, I raised my hand and stroked his cheek. ‘Do you really mean that? ’
‘Yes.’
I snuggled closer and stopped only when our noses touched. ‘You’re such a romantic.’
‘About you, yeah. You’ve driven me mad.’
‘Well, you drive me mad too.’
‘Do I?’ He sounded surprised.
‘Yes.’ My lips protruded as I pouted, tickling against his. He must have thought I was searching for a kiss because, as I was about to pull back, his hand caught my neck and held me in place. Then his mouth was on mine again.
The beats of my heart had never been louder. My pulse drummed behind my ears, attenuating the sound of our lips moving passionately against each other. When he rolled onto me, my intense feelings overwhelmed my chest. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. It was like my lungs had ceased functioning to create space for that foreign emotion.
‘Will,’ I said on a loud breath. ‘We shouldn’t.’
His hands felt like fire on my skin, resolutely amorous and awakening the desire to sin again.
‘We absolutely shouldn’t,’ he said, his hand sliding down my waist. Using his knee, he spread my legs, positioned himself between them, and lay down on me. His arms on either side of me supported the weight of his upper body, and I had never felt so safe.
His mouth dived for mine again, and I was instantly lost in its sensual dance. I knew I ought to pull away, but I couldn’t. His magnetism was too powerful to resist, and our bodies communicated too well. They wanted each other desperately, and it seemed impossible to deny it.
‘I want to be yours, Cara,’ he whispered between lustful kisses. ‘Say you’ll consider it. Just one chance.’
Turning my head, I heaved for air to steady myself. I wanted him so badly. My body was beseeching me to surrender, to leap into sin.
His mouth landed on my throat, tracing the vein that revealed how hard my heart was beating just for him. I groaned and ran my fingers through his hair. An aching burgeoned between my legs, begging for his intrusion. I wanted to feel him within me again. If I didn’t, I thought I would lose my mind.
‘Will, we need to stop.’
‘We do.’ He claimed my mouth while his hands travelled hungrily across my body, and he knew exactly where to squeeze, where to stroke and where to pinch. ‘But I can’t,’ he said. ‘You’ll have to push me away. ’
I closed my legs around him and pressed him down on me. Another wave of arousal flooded my system when I felt his erection between us, pushing against my entrance. I kissed the crook of his neck, taking his scent deep into my lungs, and felt myself fade ever so slightly. His embrace was the closest I would ever come to experiencing heaven. I was sure.
‘Say you’ll consider it, Cara.’ He folded his hand over my breast and squeezed the aching mass. I moaned against his throat. ‘Let me pleasure you like this,’ he purred and lowered his lips to my ear. ‘Over, and over, and over.’
I huffed, wondering whether rejecting him was really the right course of action. If I wasted this chance and he moved on, I knew I would regret it. Moreover, the argument that I should avoid him so as not to get my attention divided was no longer valid; I had hardly thought about anything but him since April, so I didn’t think refusing him would actually make any difference. One way or another, I would remain preoccupied with him for quite some time, so did I really have anything to lose?
I considered how it could affect our situation at work. Both Violet and William had provided strong arguments for ignoring our role as colleagues. It was true that I was only going to work under William for three months, and that I could always get someone else to write my reference – Violet, for example. And if we kept our liaison a secret, it wouldn’t harm my chances of getting hired. However, if things ended on a bad note between us, working at Day it was much easier to get a job where you completed a placement than at other firms.
I thought of Jason. Judging from his reaction earlier, he would probably prefer if I gave William a chance. Besides, things had reached a point between William and me where the damage, in regard to Jason, had already been done. I didn’t think he would be any more likely to pick William in a couple of years than he was now. On the contrary, he would probably be less likely to abandon me then, because we would have even more years of friendship behind us.
There was also Aaron. I would need to end things with him, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Though I had never been in love with him, I was still attached to him. He had become a habit, and it was a habit I loved in my own way, because it offered freedoms that a relationship with William would not.
It was like my heart switched off my brain and took control of my tongue when I said, ‘Okay.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Okay, I’ll give you a chance.’
All at once, William stopped – stopped kissing, stopped moving, stopped breathing.
‘Really?’ Disbelief saturated his tone.
‘Yes.’ I grinned in the dark.
‘Really?’ he repeated, but he seemed sceptical now.
I giggled. ‘Yes, Will. Really.’
‘Oh my God. I can’t believe this.’ He sounded overwhelmed.
‘That makes two of us,’ I mumbled amusedly.
‘You’re – Cara – fuck ... I’m honestly speechless.’ His voice was almost a whisper.
‘I should warn you, though,’ I said and ran my fingers through his hair. ‘I’m not familiar with dating. I’ve never really done it before, so you’ll have to cut me some slack. You’ll need to be patient with me.’
‘I’ll do my best,’ he said and stole a tender kiss. ‘You won’t regret this.’
I hoped with all my heart that he was right.
Rolling off me, he pulled me into a spooning position. His erection pressed against my bum, but since he made no further advances, I was confused.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked, and I couldn’t hide my disappointment.
‘I don’t fuck drunk women unless they’re my girlfriend.’
An abundance of heat claimed my face. ‘Seriously?’
‘Yes. Why do you think I told you not to get drunk the night we met?’
‘Will, you have my utter consent.’
‘Not happening. Matter of principle.’
‘But you’ll take my word regarding whether I’ll date you or not?’
‘I’ll take what I can in that regard.’
‘But you fingered me at the club!’
‘Yeah, but that was the exception to the rule.’
‘Then make another exception.’
‘No. The scene at the club was different. I was a bit drunk myself then. Now I’m essentially sober, so it wouldn’t feel right. I don’t like having sex with someone who’s drunk. Just sits wrong with me – the consent is so blurry in a way, like I’m taking advantage.’
I frowned. ‘So you never have sex with somebody if they’re drunk?’
‘Only if they’re my girlfriend, because I feel surer about their consent, then. So, if you want drunk sex, you’ll need to be my girlfriend. This is a boyfriend level request you’ve made. If you’d like to upgrade your subscription, you’ll have to go on several dates with me.’
I moaned with frustration. ‘You bastard. Do you have any idea how aroused I am right now?’
He laughed smugly. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you. Until then, you can dream about us having sex instead. I do it all the time.’
I blushed. ‘Oh my God, Will.’
‘Not even slightly ashamed of admitting that.’
‘You’re not right in the head.’ I chuckled. ‘Then again, I’m guilty of the same.’
He tensed against me. ‘Have you dreamt about me too? Actually?’
‘Far too many times. Night, Will.’
‘Sweet dreams, then,’ he said complacently.