Chapter 38
Reese
“Where are you off to?”
I stopped in my tracks as I tried to sneak out of the apartment early the next morning, but it’s hard to do that when my roommate was up before the sun to make muffins. I watched as his gaze lowered to the envelope clutched in my hand.
I needed to read it. Wanted to. Desperately. Wanted to hear Gramps again in my mind if only through his words. At the same time, I feared it. Feared learning he didn’t believe in me, didn’t think I could get things done.
Of course, it all may be for naught now anyway.
Clay had stopped calling and texting yesterday afternoon.
I didn’t know whether to jump for joy or cry at the fact he’d given up so soon.
Soon? You told him to stay away. Well, yeah, but shouldn’t he still be trying?
If I mattered, he wouldn’t simply stop, right?
Damn, woman, even I’m confused.
It was an evil and vicious circular thought pattern going on in my mind right now.
It didn’t help that Clay was a continuous star of my dreams. Sleeping Reese was still firmly in his camp, especially when he did that delicious thing with his tongue an—
“Yeah, it’s too early for me to know what’s put that look on your face,” Logan said as he shuddered.
The last thing I needed was to be reminded that I was an idiot and still thinking about a man who may or may not try to take our land and may or may not have already forgotten me. I dropped my head back on my shoulders with a groan.
Logan crossed the space and pulled me into one of his big bear hugs. He gave the best hugs, and it wasn’t only because he was enormous and could wrap a person up in his arms. It was because it always felt as if he were giving a piece of himself, his soul, along with the physical comfort.
“Broken hearts suck, don’t they?” he murmured against my hair.
Squeezing my arms around his waist, I nodded. “That they do.”
Logan understood heartbreak better than most. His had been smashed to smithereens as a teen, and he’d never truly gotten over it.
At least when it came to trying to find love again.
I thought he believed that had been his one true shot at love and he’d lost it forever.
I got it. I’d thought Clay was mine, and now I questioned everything.
His honesty and my understanding of everything most of all.
But if it really was over, I had to know one thing. “Does it get easier?”
Logan stepped back. “Yes,” he paused, and I knew what else was coming, “and no. Some days, something hits, and the pain starts all over again.” He rested his hands on my shoulders and bent down, staring me square in the eyes.
“I don’t believe it’s over for you and Clay.
I saw the way he looked at you. The way you looked at him.
I’ve seen those looks, and even though they didn’t work out for me, they were no less truthful. He loves you.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
A smile ticked up his mouth. “You don’t know that.
” He nodded at the letter in my hand. “Go read it. Remind yourself what love is, true unconditional love because that’s what Gramps gave all of us.
It’s right there, waiting for you, waiting to remind you.
” Lowering a kiss to my head he added, “See you at the winery.” Then he slipped out the door.
I lifted the letter, looking at my name.
“Let’s go see what you have to say, Gramps.
” I strode to the door and stepped onto the balcony.
The sun wasn’t even a glimmer in the sky this early, but it felt right to be out here.
The stars I’d been lamenting on missing in the city shown bright overhead.
I opened the flap and slid out two pieces of paper.
“Here goes nothing.”
Dear Reese,
Sittin’ here in the cabin I love so much, I wish I wasn’t doin’ this, but my time is coming, and I miss my Betty. I find myself starin’ at blank pages, wonderin’ where to start sayin’ what I wanna say. I’m not wonderin’ who I start these letters with.
It’s you, my darlin’ granddaughter.
And before you get in a huff (I know you), it’s not because you’re too much or some other bullshit. No, my Reese, you’re first because you are the one that’s gonna dream big for this family.
I see you lookin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’ and it does my heart good.
I just wish you’d say somethin’ to me. I wish you weren’t so worried that those same dreams and plans were too much.
I hope there’s time before I go that you’ll share everything you’re thinkin’ because I want to know.
I want to hear the excitement in your voice.
The wonder of all you’re going to accomplish.
The belief in what you see in your head.
But if there’s not, if I’m not here when you finally make that move, know that I’m cheerin’ you on from up above (at least that better be where I go, because I know damn well that’s where your Grams is.)
Never doubt that I wouldn’t have your back. Sure, I may have disagreed with you about a couple of things, but that’s what family’s for. Never doubt that I would have been your biggest champion.
Never doubt that you are going to make every single one of your dreams come true.
My momma and daddy could never have envisioned what’s circlin’ in that mind of yours. Hell, neither did I nor your parents, aunts and uncles, but dammit Reese, you do. You’re the one who’s gonna get it all done.
It’s not gonna be easy. There are gonna be stumbles long before there are any victories, but if anyone can lead this group, it’s gonna be you.
Now, on to stuff that’s more important. I bet you didn’t think I thought anything was more important than our land, but you’d be wrong.
Love. Love’s more important than anything.
The moment Betty stormed into the Falls, I fell in love.
I know you’re waiting for the Henley magic.
For the person who will capture your heart and soul, just like your Grams did mine.
I wish I could be around to see that, because girl, you are going to give him a run for his money.
The moment your father put you in my arms and you looked up at me like you already had plans, I knew you were going to be a bit of trouble, just like the love of my life.
Your man is going to love that brand of trouble as much as I loved Betty’s.
Love ain’t easy either, though. It never is. It will kick you and hurt you, and sometimes you think it’s not worth it, but it always is. It’s its own trouble and heartache, but when it’s right, it’s the most magical feeling in the world.
Never be afraid of it, and never be afraid to listen to your partner.
Like I said, you’ve heard that you’re too much too damn many times, from too damn many people.
I hate that we all let you think that, and that’s on us, but you’re gonna find a person who gets your “too much” and loves it.
You see being too much as a bad thing, but what if it’s not, Reese? Just think about that.
If you need my blessing for what you’re doin’, you’ve got it. Unequivocally, because I know you’ll make everything you touch shine.
If you hit a roadblock, don’t let it derail you. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.
When you hurt, know I love you more now than I did at that very first moment because of the woman you’ve grown up to be.
You’re everything I could have imagined and more.
Your Grams said she could tell you were special from the start, but neither of us knew exactly how special.
Whether you realize it or not, you’re the engine of this little family, Reese Henley, and a damn fine one. I couldn’t ask for anything more.
My daddy once said to me, “When the seasons change on this mountain, that just means we can start somethin’ new. When the seasons change, we can too.” You’re going to be that change.
I said at the beginning, I started writin’ these letters with yours. That’s because the next chapter in the Henley legacy starts with you.
Just remember, you can never have too much of a good thing, and some trouble makes life worth living.
Love you forever, my granddaughter.
Until we meet again,
Gramps
My heart beat so wildly in my chest, I thought I was about to have a heart attack. Raising my hand, I placed it over the thumping organ, but that did nothing to slow it down or to temper the feelings ricocheting through me.
Lifting the papers, I read the letter again and again and while my heart may have come back to normal, my tears now flowed like the waterfalls in the mountains.
“You knew,” I whispered into the now approaching dawn, hoping the words somehow carried to him.
He knew and didn’t think it was a terrible plan.
He didn’t think I was too much, at least not in a bad way.
“I miss you, Gramps.” It had been hard for me to cry after losing him.
Knowing it was coming hadn’t made it easier.
Then I got lost in making sure everything was taken care of for his service.
Now, I let myself give in to the grief and loss that followed me since he left and rejoice in the gift I held in my hands.
In that moment, I finally felt like I had my confidant back. So, I did what came naturally and started asking for his help.
I wanted to be here about as much as I wanted to replay that last scene with Clay.
So, not at all. I looked around the winery and couldn’t help but think about the last two times we were all gathered together.
Both of those times, I’d held so much hope about what I wanted to do. Now I only felt like a failure.