Chapter 42
Forty-Two
After another decontamination process to cover all the bases and a long debriefing and statement-giving process, Holt had dropped Ryder and Sarah back at his truck at the Lost Signal Trailhead.
Had it been just two days ago they’d started out from this spot?
It felt like a lifetime. Exhausted, she sat in silence as Ryder followed Holt back into town and then to their mother’s home.
Far too many hours had passed since their standoff with Malcolm and Tessa, in an operation that should never have taken place on US soil—that is, if it was official, or even if it wasn’t—but no one was telling her anything, and she was fine with that.
Sarah was beyond relieved she’d left that agency years ago.
But the last several days, it felt like she was fully immersed, working once again for the CIA.
But she didn’t care about that anymore. All she cared about was her son.
As if calling out to her, Come on over here, not much farther, the porch light glowed through the trees like a beacon from a quiet house at the end of a long road.
She’d been there before, to Dinah’s house—and it almost felt like that had been God’s plan all along, because now she would go there to finally hold her son in her arms again.
Ryder had reassured Sarah that Jeremy was in a secure location—secure, warm, and loving.
That Tessa had fully cooperated to assist in locating him, and the satellite phone call had helped pinpoint the off-grid cabin just outside of Mercy Ridge.
Now she understood that he hadn’t been wrong.
Jeremy had been in a secure location at home with Ryder’s mother, Dinah.
A woman Sarah had met and instantly known was good to her bones, and Sarah trusted her with Jeremy.
After all, Dinah and her late husband had done an amazing job raising Ryder and his brother, Holt, whom Sarah had finally met.
Apprehension coursed through her—the moment she’d been waiting for was now upon her. Ryder steered his truck into the drive, and sitting here next to him, it felt like . . . coming home. That made no real sense because this wasn’t her home at all.
Still, that same sense of security had wrapped around her when she’d thought about what a base camp meant to mountain explorers. And this . . . this place was base camp for the Goodwin family. Her throat tightened with emotion. Somehow, it was becoming an anchor for her too.
Her grandfather’s old compass, tucked in her pocket, had survived along with her. She wrapped her fingers around it.
Family is everything.
And Sarah could tell that Dinah—and all the Goodwins—clung to that same truth.
“You ready?” Ryder asked.
“As I’ll ever be.” She hopped out of his truck and marched to the porch. Hiked up the steps. Her legs and arms felt heavier than they’d ever been, and her heart, which only hours ago had felt heavy, now floated somewhere between panic and hope.
Ryder touched her back, urging her forward. She looked up at him, sending him a soft smile and a heartfelt thank-you.
His jaw was rough, unshaven, and his hair wild from the mountain wind. Fatigue rimmed his eyes, but he gave her that familiar nod she’d come to associate with stability. Certainty. And she knew then for the first time in far too long—she and Jeremy would be okay.
So, what was she waiting for? She took a breath, rushed to the door, and without knocking, yanked it open.
Dinah stood in her path. Eyes shining, her arms held out to welcome her.
“Come in, sweetheart. He’s been asking for you.
I’ve plied him with fruit and crackers, and we’ve been playing with a few toys I kept that belonged to my babies, hoping one day they’d give me grandkids.
” Dinah flashed a look at Ryder, then back at Sarah.
Wrapping her arms around Sarah, Dinah escorted her fully into her home.
The smell of woodsmoke and cinnamon swirled around Sarah, and her heart hammered. Dinah released her and led them to the den.
Sarah’s breath caught. Hope ignited. Relief could have dropped her to her knees. There—on a quilt near the fireplace—sat a little boy with a blanket wrapped around his legs and a stuffed bear clutched to his chest.
Jeremy.
Sarah barely breathed. “Baby?”
Her precious child looked up and blinked.
Then he was on his feet, moving with the pitter-patter only his small feet could make.
She dropped to her knees just in time to catch him, wrapped her arms around his small form as he crashed into her.
Sarah savored this moment, this very real moment.
He was warm and alive, very alive. And yes .
. . happy . . . as if in Dinah’s care, all the memories of bad men and monsters had been removed.
“Mama!” His smile was vibrant, his eyes bright with love. No more tears for either of them.
“I’ve got you.” Her voice cracked on the words. “I’ve got you. I’m here.”
And Ryder’s earlier words echoed through her mind and heart.
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
As she held her baby boy, she turned to look at Ryder, who watched her intently. His gaze flooded with so much—what?—love? That couldn’t be—but whatever she saw in his eyes chipped away at the fear and uncertainty that remained.
She held Jeremy tighter, burying her face in his curls, but he tried to escape her arms—his greatest desire to scramble down and play with the new toys. She released him.
“They grow up too fast,” Dinah said gently from across the room. “One minute they need their mother, and the next, some new distraction has taken all their time and energy.”
Sarah eased into a rocking chair and watched him, rocking while she let her tears of joy finally fall. Maybe she shed a few tears as well for every hour spent wondering if she’d see him again. For the lies. For Aaron. For everything she’d lost—and everything she was holding now.
“You were so brave,” she whispered under her breath. She didn’t want to remind Jeremy of the bad men. “And I’m never letting you go again.”
She turned slightly, her eyes locking once again with Ryder’s.
Thank you, she mouthed.
He nodded, his smile tender and compassionate—from across the room—and she wished he would move closer and wrap his arms around her.
They’d been through so much in a few short days that it might take her weeks to unravel the tangle in her mind.
But one thing she wasn’t confused about was Ryder Goodwin.
After seeing the picture in his file, reading about his heroics, and choosing him for her mission, she realized now that a small part of her might have already chosen him for another mission—one that would take time and tenderness.
She rose from the rocker, moved to Jeremy, and bent down to kiss his forehead, then sauntered over to Ryder.
She planned to stand next to him and watch her son, but he pulled her forward and into him, and she went willingly.
Wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his chest to listen to his strong heartbeat.
She could stay there forever nestled in the stability he radiated.
He hadn’t exactly offered her anything but this moment in his arms, and she would take it.
Dinah appeared again, and Sarah didn’t bother moving out of Ryder’s arms.
“Let’s get you and Jeremy settled,” she said. “Then we’ll let the world wait. I made up the guest room. You can sleep there as long as you need. Be safe and secure. Let me know whatever you need. We’re here. Ryder’s here tonight at least too, aren’t you, Ryder?”
“Sure.”
She leaned back to look up into his eyes and caught his smile and wink. “I’m here for as long as you need,” he added.
And the memory of their shared kiss on the mountaintop flooded her with heat.
“Mommy, Mommy.” Jeremy raced for her, holding up a dinosaur. “It’s a Ree Rex.”
Sarah laughed and lifted him up in her arms while remaining close to Ryder.
For the first time in days—maybe longer—she felt the trembling inside begin to quiet.
She was holding her whole world again.
And for now, that was enough.