11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Maci
A fter dinner, Sutton and I take the truck to the future site of his house. The sun sets earlier and earlier these days, and the sky is a deep indigo when we park. Still crisp, the gusty wind from earlier has left the air. Dim stars begin to dot the sky.
Sutton pulls a blanket from the backseat and opens the tailgate. I don’t move until he comes to my door, swinging it open wide and leaning his front against my seat. Warm breath teases my ear as he tucks his head in close. “Tonight, you’re going to let me help you into the truck, Firecracker.”
“I’m in the truck.” I bite my lip to hide a smirk.
His voice is intoxicating. “The truck bed , Maci.”
“Are you going to lay me down in it?” I tip my head up, subtly giving him more access to skin. Needing more touch, more fire.
“I am not.” He indulges me, kissing down my neck with featherlight lips. “And you’re going to behave.”
“Yes, sir.” I barely manage a whisper. I’m flooded with arousal. With him treating me delicately these days, I don’t see a remedy for that anytime soon. Being near him is almost painful.
He pulls back enough for me to see that wicked look cross his face, before he grips my jaw softly in his hand.
“I’m positive you know what that does to me by now.” His breath skates across my lips. Despite his grip, I press my chin forward, trying to reach his perfect mouth. His grip tightens. The whimper that escapes me is all need, no pain.
“Don’t tease me, Cowboy.”
His smile precedes his lips ghosting against my own. I want more. I need more.
“You said we need to talk.” Like a flipped switch, he pulls back and slips one arm under my legs and one around my back, lifting me from the seat. “Don’t get any wild ideas. I don’t need you pulling a stitch and bleeding all over my truck.”
I’m glad he’s feeling comfortable enough to joke.
He deposits me gingerly onto the tailgate and lifts himself to sit beside me. With his weight back on his hands, he’s too kissable. Before he can protest, I straddle him, slip his hat onto my head, and glide my hands into his hair. His eyes flash.
“You know what they say about wearing the hat and riding the cowboy.” I tease him to disguise the pain.
He groans into my mouth, accepting my soft kiss. The next kiss is firmer, nipping his bottom lip as I pull back. His body is rigid beneath me.
“I feel a little like I’m taking advantage of you,” I whisper against his mouth.
Leaning his weight forward and sliding his hands up my back, he kisses my forehead. “It’s hard not to worry about you, especially when you don’t worry about yourself.”
“I’m okay.” My response is too fast, and we both know I’m lying.
His eyes darken and he studies every bit of my face. “I thought I might lose you before we got the chance to even start.”
My hands slide forward to cup his face, the stubble sending a welcome electricity zinging through my body. His steel eyes fall closed and he leans into my touch. “Sutton.” He reopens them, holding my gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He shifts quickly, gripping my cheeks firmly between his warm hands and kissing me hard. A second one follows, which says so much more than we ever manage between us. It’s equal parts soft and strong, give and take. An agreement. A commitment. A need to heal something that’s been broken. To push away the fear and try to infuse some hope into our future.
It turns hungry without warning, and we’re all tongues and teeth and heavy breathing as our hands roam over each other.
Without warning, Sutton grips my hips and slides off the tailgate to stand, placing my feet on the ground. “We have a habit of getting carried away on this truck bed. One of these nights, I’m going to watch you come undone under the stars, but not tonight.”
I refuse to admit my disappointment when he shuts me down and starts me up at the same time.
“Tonight, I’m going to dance with you. We’re going to build new memories where we’ll build our home and our life. Is that ok?” His fingers tangle with mine as he waits for a response.
“ Our home?”
His eyebrows dip momentarily. “Of course it’ll be ours. Why else do you think I brought you out here before?”
“I just thought you were sharing then.” Even as I say the words, they aren’t entirely true. I knew there was something he wasn’t saying before. A way he was assessing my response.
With our hands still clasped, he wraps both arms around my waist, trapping my hands behind me like he did after our first dance, and drops his chin, bringing his mouth closer to me. “Yes, I was sharing. Intentionally. I wanted to know if you wanted it, too.”
“Why didn’t you just say that?”
He exhales a silent sigh and one shoulder sags. “I didn’t want to push you. I never do. I want everything with you, Firecracker, but I don’t want to take it from you. I want you to want it just as badly.”
I untangle my fingers from his to place them against his torso. Stretching up on my toes, the pain of the movement eased by his supportive arms still around me, I place a soft kiss on his mouth. “I want it.”
“You want this ranch life?”
Why does he seem so surprised? “Yes.” I’ve thought on this considerably.
His hands return to my face, thumb tracing my lips. Something plays in his eyes and his touch stiffens. “That night, there was a moment where I thought the last thing I would hear was you telling me you love me.”
I replace his hat. “I didn’t say it because I thought I was going to die. I said it so you would know I want to live. That I was going to fight.”
His hands come to my hips, and he brushes a kiss over my lips. “You didn’t wait to hear it back. You wouldn’t know what you mean to me.”
I blink to clear my vision. “I was hoping that you were genuine the day before. When you told me you were all in.”
His voice is thick. “I was. I am.”
“I love you, Sutton. I want this life with you.”
He kisses each of my cheeks. “ I love you, Maci.”
“I’m not always really good at talking about my feelings, but you need to know: I want you. I need you. You make me feel light, and free, and happy. So damn happy. And you are where I feel safest. Even when the entire world is crashing down, it’s not as scary with you.”
I’m unable to continue when he slams his mouth into mine.
His kiss is all consuming and I let him devour me, needing this connection. The last few days have been tense and painful in more ways than one. Whatever it takes to get us on the same page again, I need it.
“That’s good. Really good. Because I was considering attaching you to my body to keep you from leaving.” His boyish grin soothes my tired heart.
“So, I guess that means I’m not going back to Nana’s when I’m healed?”
“Not if I have anything to say about it. You belong here. With me.” His arms tighten around me. “And don’t even try to get up in your head about it. It feels right and you know it.”
“It does.”
“So, can you please unpack your stuff? There are plenty of hangers and space in the closet, and I’ll clear some drawers.”
My heart flutters and I nod into his chest.
His lips press softly to my cheek, before lingering by my ear to say, “By the way, I really fucking like how you look in my hat. Expect one soon.”
Heat rushes into my cheeks as I grin.
“I blamed the tailgate, but it’s your fault.”
I laugh. “What’s my fault?”
“Did you just laugh?” Sutton pulls me close to him, swaying us gently back and forth.
“I guess I did.”
“It’s an amazing sound,” he says into my hair. “I blamed the tailgate for our inability to have a conversation, but it’s just us.”
“We do have good chemistry,” I murmur into his chest.
He kisses the top of my head. His tone softens as he changes the subject. “How did it go at the police station?”
I grunt. “I’m not convinced Detective Porter believes me. Even though there are reports, only one actually implicates Colt. Everything else is just my word. And it’s a tangled fucking mess anyway, so…”
Sutton’s arms tighten.
“I think if they had enough to prove I was out of line they’d have arrested me already, but I don’t like not knowing where this is going.” I listen to the rhythm of his heartbeat and let his warmth seep into me.
After a minute, he speaks again. “I’m not going to push you to talk about what happened with Colt. Not when you first met, and not on that night. But the moment you’re ready, even when you don’t think you are, I’m here.”
I can’t bring myself to respond. My grip on his waist tightens.
“It’s okay if it’s messy. Or ugly.” His voice is quieter, even though there’s no one around except us. “Nothing you could say or do will make me feel differently.”
Keeping myself tucked against his body, it’s an effort not to hide my mouth against his chest when I speak. Instead, I hope the chill breeze will carry my words away. “He was Alan’s son.”
The steady thrumming in my ear picks up.
“He was the one who attacked Stephanie and me before, in the parking lot,” I whisper.
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, fuck.” The temperature seems to drop around us. “How wild is it that he was connected to me in so many ways and we just happened to run into each other at The Spur?”
“Do you think it was coincidence?” Sutton’s question hangs between us for a minute as I consider.
“I think so. That night, he was different from any other time I saw him. All the other times, it was clear he knew me. I don’t think he could’ve hidden some evil scheme. He was too smug.”
“That is wild, then.”
I don’t go into anything else. The moment is too peaceful to tarnish with the ugliness of that night. I just want to enjoy being wrapped in the arms of the man I love, who loves me, and exist quietly in the world for a while.