40. Chapter 40
Chapter 40
Sutton
“D o you trust me?”
Maci stares back at me from the passenger seat. It’s hard to hide the nerves racing through me. I need to do this for her, but I also need her to be comfortable. I rake a hand through my hair. I should’ve worn my hat.
“Of course I trust you.” A soft smile plays on her lips, and I reach across the console to squeeze her leg so I don’t take her back inside. Her hand drapes over mine, her skin cold to the touch, soothing. I hope to return the sentiment tonight.
She doesn’t ask about our destination, which I appreciate, because I don’t want her amped before we get there. It’s not like I can hide where we’re going, though. As soon as we head out the opposite side of town, her leg starts bouncing in the seat. I give her another gentle squeeze, which she returns with her hand. Her leg stops bouncing, but she stares silently out the window, lost in her own head.
Maci’s been trying to increase her exposure at Ruthie’s. If she ever plans to move forward, she has to face that demon down. While she managed to visit during the day with her friends, I know there’s more that needs to be done. A night that needs to be erased, and a place that needs to be reclaimed.
Even more, I want her to be sure she wants to be on the ranch with me. She can’t be sure if she doesn’t have all of her choices completely available to her before she decides. So having Ruthie’s house feel accessible to her is paramount to us moving forward together, and with our independent career endeavors.
Nothing looks especially different. At least, not to me. I don’t know what she sees. We remain silent after parking. Her gaze is trained on the backyard, only a portion of which is visible from here.
I don’t bother with words as I get out of the truck. A familiar soft blanket is tucked beneath the backseat, and it comes along with me to get Maci from the passenger side. Once she climbs down, she wraps her arms around my waist, leaning against me. I bring my arm around her, trailing my fingers over the scar hidden beneath her shirt. She doesn’t know it yet, but I aim to remove every horrible memory she has of this yard.
Colt stole something from her that night. Something intangible. And I’m going to give it back to her. This yard, this place, this life, every piece of it belongs to her. I won’t let her go another day with her feeling like this part of her life is unreachable.
I tilt my head down. “I know you trust me…but if at any point this is too much, just say the word.” She bobs her head, still tucked against my sternum. “I’m only trying to help.” The last few words are quieter. A promise.
Her head tilts up and her bright green eyes find mine. “I know.”
“I love you,” I say, ready to show her how much.
“I love you.”
Releasing her hip, I tangle our fingers together, a physical representation of the link between us. She follows easily when I give a soft tug. Her steps slow the closer we get to the fire pit. I release her hand and lay out the flannel blanket. She takes in the metal pit with furrowed brows.
“What?”
“There’s fresh wood.” She glances at me questioningly.
“Yes.” I wait for her to say more, but she doesn’t. I make quick work of getting the blaze going. The temperature has been mild today, but it’s dropping faster as darkness comes on quickly.
A shiver races through her body. I rub up and down her arms to create friction, then using a finger, tip her chin my direction and kiss her firmly. Her lips are warm and soft and she lets out a tiny moan. Good. She needs pleasure here.
I sit on the blanket with my legs spread and motion for her to lean against me. She shifts back and forth on her feet, but I don’t take the hesitation personally. Eventually, she sits between my legs and leans back, facing into the yard.
Slowly, her body softens into me as I play with the hair draped over her shoulder. When Maci leans into one arm, looking up at me, I press a kiss to her lips which she returns hungrily.
“This place is yours.” I kiss her again, harder, to make my point. “This night is about you. About reclaiming what was taken.” With one hand, I begin unbuttoning her shirt from the top down. Her surprised gaze falls to my hand, but when I lean in to kiss her again, she concedes.
When her shirt is completely unbuttoned, I shift my weight, guiding her with the arm she’s leaned against so she leans back onto the blanket. I drag a finger along her collarbone and down between her breasts, shifting the shirt off of her left side to expose her new scar. Her body tenses. It’s become a habit to press my lips against the marred skin, but it doesn’t stop a tiny gasp from leaving her.
“This is a part of you.” l look up at her without moving from her hip, caged over her body. “If we’re being honest, every part of you is mine,” I add, giving her a sideways smirk. Fuck, I love when she grins like that at me. “But this,” I say, leaning forward to trail the scar with my mouth, brushing over it without stopping. “This is yours. It’s a symbol of your fierce nature, your strength, your determination. You are not a victim. You are a survivor. And you are fucking amazing.”
A tear falls from her eye, dropping off the side of her face to the blanket. She nods.
I hum against her hip. I love the way her back arches into me and she groans as I kiss my way over to her belly button, leading up to her chest and then her mouth. She opens willingly and I swipe my tongue against hers. Her hands are even colder than before when she places them on each side of my face, deepening the kiss.
Maci fits against me perfectly, and when I lean her forward, reaching around to help remove her open shirt, she showers my neck and chest with hot kisses, threatening to derail my plan. I take the opportunity to unclasp her bra and toss it aside.
“Don’t burn it,” she breathes against my neck.
“Fuck it. I’ll buy you a new one.”
Her laugh is magical. It soothes me when I’m the one trying to soothe her.
I need to be able to help her. If in some way I’m able to help her feel whole again, then maybe she’ll have an inkling of how much I love her. How much I need her. And how much I fucking want her.
Naked from the waist up, she falls back onto the blanket. She’s a vision. Her dark brown hair splays around her as if it was meticulously placed. Her eyes and mouth are hungry, and I harden immediately. I can’t take my eyes off her, throwing my own flannel and undershirt into the grass behind me.
“Oh, sure. Those can’t be replaced so don’t burn them .”
That fucking mouth.
My hands fall to either side of her head, missing her hair as I lean over her. I let my words come out low, despite being alone. “I’ll burn this whole damn world down if it means keeping you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she says softly.
I kiss her lips. “No, you’re not.”
Slowly, I explore every inch of her exposed skin with my mouth. One hand roams over her body, a partner to my mouth. I twirl a tight, hardened nipple in my fingers, my tongue dancing over the other. Her quiet moan makes my cock jump in my jeans again.
Before traveling farther south, I show the other nipple the same affection with my tongue. Maci’s hands grip my hair fiercely.
The button of her jeans pops free easily and I slip a hand inside. She’s already soaked, and her moan deepens as I rub my hand over her. I nibble her breast before pulling away, leaning back to work her pants down.
“I have to be honest.” I don’t look at her, but I can feel her body tighten. “I am being a little selfish.”
“Oh?”
Flinging the jeans behind me, I find her eyes. “Yes. I’m going to make you see stars. The ones above us and more. But I absolutely have to have a taste before I fuck your needy pussy.”
Her legs clench. “I don’t think you understand what ‘selfish’ means then.” She pulls her lip between her teeth, and my dick hurts from how hard it’s pushing against my zipper.
My hands slip between her knees, pressing her legs open and exposing the extent of her arousal to me. “No? It doesn’t mean I’m going to devour you strictly for my own pleasure?”
Her hips buck gently and I grip her thighs, pinning her place. She moans again. “Mutually beneficial is what I would call it.”
“Whatever you say, Firecracker. I just know I’m about to have the best dessert ever.” I position myself between her legs, kissing along one thigh as I slowly make my way higher.
She stretches to get my face closer to where she wants, but I still.
“Better than cheesecake?” she asks.
“Fuck cheesecake.” I bite her inner thigh and she lets out a yip. My attention falls on the other leg as I drag my tongue up her thigh. I’m not sure who I’m torturing more, me or her.
Goosebumps coat her skin as I reach her center, and I know she’s dying for me to taste her as much as I am. I look her over, gripping a thigh in each arm. Her head is thrown back in anticipated pleasure. A cool breeze blows over my back. I wait.
Her head comes off the blanket as she looks at me expectantly. “Cowboy, what are you doing?”
“Eating with my eyes, first.”
She grins. “Well, your dessert is getting cold, and this one is best served hot.”
I raise my eyebrow at her in challenge and brush the tip of my tongue over her clit. She jerks her hips. “I think it’s you who’s doing the serving.”
I half expect her to have another retort, but she falls back with a groan. This time, I drag my tongue fully up her drenched center, equally turned on by her taste and her sounds.
As I continue my slow feast on her, her hips rock into me, trying to control her pleasure. Her hands come to her breasts, twisting and tugging at her peaked nipples. Watching her touching herself, adding to her pleasure, does things to me. She’s intoxicating. I told her once I was becoming addicted to her, and it’s true. I can never have enough of her. Of this. Of us.
I’d love nothing more than to lie here worshipping her all night, but her movements are becoming more insistent. One hand releases a breast as she latches onto my hair with her fingers, her nails scraping passionately against my scalp. I pick up my pace, devouring her faster, never taking my eyes off her.
I may or may not release an appreciative groan. Watching her come undone is my favorite sight.
Her back arches beautifully in the firelight, right before she gasps. My name on her lips only spurs me to lick and suck harder. I’m not releasing her until she pushes me away. There’s no better sound in the world. Though, hearing her confessing her love for me might tie.
My eyes are still laser-focused on her, my tongue slowly lapping up the fruit of my labor, when her head pops up and her eyes find mine. She smiles widely and says playfully, “Your work is done.”
I trail the tip of my tongue softly through her sensitive flesh, watching her intently and the way her eyes threaten to roll back again, to prove my point. “My work is never done. And I’m far from finished with you.”
“I hope you never finish with me.” Her voice is softer, her face relaxed, as she looks over me tucked between her thighs. I’d die right here, given the chance.
“Never.” I nip her inner thigh with my teeth, eliciting another yelp. A chuckle vibrates my chest. “Are you crazy? I’m not sharing this delicacy with anyone.”
She laughs heartily.
I kiss my way back up her body to her mouth, letting her taste herself on my tongue. She moans into me. Ever since the first time I did it, when I saw the spark in her eye, I make sure to share with her. “You like how you taste, Firecracker?”
Her reddened cheeks are muted in the low light. “It’s different. But that’s not why I moaned.” My lips find their way along her jaw to her neck. How can every part of her be so delicious?
“Mmm. Why then?”
Her hips rock against my leg between her thighs. “Your jeans feel delicious against my pussy.”
“Firecracker. Your dirty mouth is doing things to me.”
She hikes an eyebrow. “Not yet.”
I shake my head to rid the vision of her mouth full of my cock. She’s glorious on her knees for me, and that is a distraction I do not need. Instead, I press my thigh harder against her core and I’m rewarded with another sexy moan. She grinds against me. “Fuck, I love watching you take what you need. Pleasure looks good on you.”
She smiles. “Feels good. But you feel better.”
“You want to feel me, Firecracker?” I pause. She only nods back. “Words, Maci.” I don’t actually care if she asks for what she wants, but it does something to her when I tell her to say what she wants. Hearing her put it to words is fucking hot, too.
“Yes. I need to feel you.”
“Need?” Even teasing, I’m already pulling back to unbutton my pants and drop them from my hips.
“Yes. It’s kind of an addiction.” She grins, and I laugh at her use of my words.
“I’m happy to give you a fix.” I nuzzle into her neck as my cock slides between her legs, immediately covered in her arousal. “You feel so damn good.”
“You’re telling me,” she murmurs. “Fuck me, Cowboy.”
I bit her gently. “So demanding.”
“Will you deny me?” Her eyes are closed, face turned away, granting me easy access to her tender skin.
I stare at her for a moment. “Never.”
“Good.” She lifts her hips and drags herself against me, groaning happily before addressing me in a low voice. “Sutton.”
I pull back and look at her. Aside from when she cries out my name, she doesn’t use it often unless it’s important.
Her eyes pierce mine. “Don’t be gentle with me.”
My brows furrow.
“Here,” she says, swallowing thickly. “In this place. I need you to consume me, make me yours, completely.”
“You’re already completely mine.” I know what she’s asking. The pain and trauma here have to be outdone by a finality. She continues to stare at me, waiting for an appropriate response. Her mouth is tight and her eyes intense as she breathes heavily.
I stare back at her, seeing the knife sticking out of her abdomen and listening to her beg me to remove it. Maybe we both have shit to work through here.
“Maci, you are mine. If you need me to possess you here, I will, but it doesn’t matter where we are, no one is taking you from me.”
Her eyes well again and she nods vigorously.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
I shift my weight and position myself to enter her. Before I move, I tuck my mouth against her ear. “I meant what I said. If at any moment this is too much, all you have to say is stop and we’re gone.”
“Don’t stop,” she orders, just above a whisper.
I thrust into her fully and she cries out. I’ve never been more in tune with anyone in my life. Her arms wrap around me and she grips my shoulder blades with her nails. I will let her tear me to shreds, take any pain she wants to dole out if it helps her. Focused on her breathing and the way she’s clutching me tightly, I pull back and thrust into her again. She hisses a “yes” against me and I give in to her desires.
This isn’t like the other times we’ve been together. It’s not playful, or sweet, or lustful. It’s a deep need to feel a permanent connection, a desire to feel tethered to someone on a primal level. She needs to override every bad thing that happened here and know that when the world is crumbling, she still belongs to someone. And I need her to know that I would willingly walk through hell with her.
Our pace quickens as we move together. Our mingled sounds drift up to the star-filled sky. In this moment, no one else on earth exists. We’re just two beings in the wild world with a crackling fire as our soundtrack.
She grips me tighter as her orgasm bursts through her.
“That’s it. Give it to me. Everything you’re feeling now is me. Inside you. Around you. It’s all me.”
My name falls off her lips. “I love you,” she whispers.
That’s all I need to spill inside her. To claim every part of her, inside and out. Our bodies wrap tightly together as my heart beats furiously against hers and my own release barrels through me.
Maci will be my wife one day. But this night will also be as fundamentally important as that. Overcoming hell and claiming each other and our happiness where so much was taken that night. This place and this life is ours.