Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
JACKSON
My heart was beating in my ears, blood roaring against my eardrums after the insane high of the orgasm I just had.
I was boneless, a limp noodle thrown over Tucker’s back as we both struggled to regulate our breathing.
That had been the best sex of my life, and I knew with every cell in my body it was because it’d been with the man under me.
Whether he was aware of it or not, I’d just made love to Tucker Legare.
It hadn’t been slow or gentle, but every second of it had been me declaring my feelings for him.
I was undeniably head over heels in love. Maybe it was too soon, and some might argue against it, but I knew. Tucker had been it for me from the moment I’d shook his hand that first morning, and all this had done was confirm to me that no one else would do.
Nuzzling against the back of his neck again, I laid soft, open-mouthed kisses against his salty skin and relished in the little vibrations of his contented sigh.
If he’d let me, I’d stay like this forever.
Buried deep inside, pressed as close as we could get until our skin rotted and our bones began to splinter.
I remembered reading once about a pair of famous bodies found at Pompeii that had once been believed to be women but were found to be two men through DNA testing.
They’d been huddled together, clinging to each other in their final moments, and the world believed them to be lovers since they weren’t genetically related to each other.
I’d thought at the time it was a shame they’d passed away like that.
But now, I couldn’t help thinking how lucky they were to have had each other.
To be able to hold the person you loved the most in those last moments on Earth was a gift most people never would get.
Beneath me, Tucker shifted slightly, and I felt my softened cock slip from him.
As much as I hated losing that bit of contact between us, the thought of seeing Tucker’s hole puffy and abused with my cum leaking from it was enough to have me pulling away.
Dropping down to my knees behind him, I spread his cheeks wide and let the deep groan of satisfaction tumble from me.
“Fuck, baby. I wish you could see how fucking sexy your hole looks,” I rumbled, using two fingers to push the cum that had spilled free back into him.
Tucker groaned low, his body squeezing around my fingers as I lazily pumped them in and out of him for just a moment.
“Jackson…” A soft edge of a plea was in his voice, and I couldn’t help but huff in amusement.
“Too much?” I asked, pulling my fingers free and standing up.
He nodded but then shook his head, making my grin split my face. “’S too good, and too much. My dick wants to rally, but I can barely move a muscle.”
“Stay right there, then. I’ll get you cleaned up, baby.
” I leaned forward, dropping another kiss against the side of his head before I rummaged through his kitchen to find what I needed.
Tucker helped guide me, letting me know which drawer contained his kitchen towels, and I grabbed a few.
Soaking one in some warm water, I wrung it out and made my way back to clean Tucker up.
He was still slumped over the table, but he’d shifted himself so he wasn’t lying in his own release anymore.
I took my time cleaning him, wiping away the cum that had trailed down his legs and gently going over his hole and cock.
Every so often, I pressed a kiss into his skin, unable to stop myself against the overwhelming feelings still swirling in my veins.
For his part, Tucker let me take my time, not once fussing or pressing me to hurry up, and it warmed something deep in my soul that he was allowing me to take care of him this way.
He deserved to be lavished and pampered.
An image of a spoiled, pouty Tucker popped into my head, and I couldn’t hold back the smirk that spread over my lips.
Not long after, we were both cleaned up and put back together, and I was wiping down the table as I tried to figure out where we went from here.
Tucker was shifting awkwardly on his feet as though there was something he wanted to say but couldn’t get the words out, and I wasn’t much better. I didn’t want to leave him. Not after everything we’d just shared, but I didn’t know what his limits were.
When I’d stepped into Tucker’s room, it’d been clear to me that nothing had changed since Raleigh died. The bottle of cologne we’d shared was still sitting on the dresser, and books and an old alarm clock covered in dust sat on a bedside table next to a half-made bed.
Would he be able to handle me sleeping in the same place he and Raleigh had slept?
I wasn’t too proud to admit I wouldn’t be able to stand sleeping on the couch or anywhere I couldn’t be wrapped around him all night.
But not at the cost of Tucker’s comfort.
Straightening up from the table, I realized I’d been going over the same spot repeatedly while lost in my thoughts.
“Probably should be getting back,” I murmured, glancing toward my man.
Tucker’s shoulders visibly relaxed at my words, and I tried not to let the sting pierce too deeply into my chest. We’d shared something incredible tonight, and just because he didn’t want me staying over didn’t mean he didn’t feel the same way too.
“Probably for the best,” he whispered, ruffling the back of his hair before he let out a slow sigh. “I’ll walk you out.”
I told myself I understood. He wasn’t ready for that next step.
I could imagine it’d be hard to have to blend the memories of your late husband with the visuals of your current partner in the same space, and I didn’t envy him in the least. But it didn’t stop, every step I took to the back door felt like I was leaving little breadcrumbs of my soul for Tucker to find later.
He followed me out the door and down the porch steps to my truck, which soothed a small portion of my ache.
When we were finally standing by the driver’s side door, I leaned up against it, wanting to sear the image of him like this into my head.
Evening blanketed the sky, and Tucker had flipped on the back porch light before we’d come out, so he was bathed in the warm yellow glow of it.
His hair was still a mess, the curls at the ends going in any direction they pleased, and before I could stop myself, I reached forward to tug at one of them.
“I’m going to miss you tonight,” I breathed into the night air, a vice constricting around my heart as the truth broke free from my lips.
Tucker visibly swallowed, his amber eyes brimming with what looked like unshed tears but could have just been a trick of the light. “I’m really glad you came over tonight, Jackson.”
I hummed, not really mollified by his response, but not ready to part from him regardless. My fingers continued to play with his hair before he gently reached up and took my hand in both of his. His lips were warm when they placed a tender kiss against my palm, and everything inside me screamed.
“I don’t regret a thing we did. Hear me when I say that.” He spoke against my skin, and while the words did ease a specific prickling in my chest, the deep ache they evoked had my chin wobbling as I tried to hold back my emotions.
Thankfully, Tucker’s eyes were downcast, and I was able to school myself enough that when he looked back up at me, I was mostly put back together, but I knew he saw the pain.
Neither of us said anything else, and maybe it was best we didn’t.
We both knew he couldn’t give me what I needed at that moment, and it wasn’t fair of me to beg him for it.
After a few moments, Tucker leaned forward, slotting his lips against mine in a slow kiss that I knew he was using to say everything he couldn’t, and I fell into it.
My hands found his face, and I ran my thumb over the scratchy stubble already coming up over his jaw.
I wanted to bury myself in him again. Be the breath in his lungs and the beat of his heart, but I knew it was too much.
Up until this moment, I’d never once felt any jealousy or bitterness for Tucker’s relationship with Raleigh, but my gut soured with it as his lips pulled from mine.
Raleigh had Tucker long before I did, and I knew in another life, I wouldn’t have ever had this opportunity with the gorgeous man before me, but I couldn’t deny the twisted feelings inside me.
The whole drive back to the bunkhouse, I berated myself for stooping so low.
Tucker was allowed to have boundaries. Hadn’t I been the one to tell him that this was all at his pace?
But the moment he couldn’t give me something I wanted, I was pouting and feeling resentful for the very thing I’d loved about Tucker from the beginning.
His love for Raleigh was a part of him, and deep down I knew I didn’t have a problem with it.
We’d shared something tonight, and I was just feeling raw and vulnerable afterward. That’s all it was.
But even as I laid in bed a little while later, Weston’s snores shaking the rafters above our heads, my body felt heavy from the soul-deep loneliness I felt. Pulling the pillow out from under me, I wrapped my arms around it and tried to convince myself it was Tucker I was holding.
It didn’t help.
The next few days were a whirlwind. The last mare to foal began to show signs of dropping soon, but when she went into labor it became apparent quickly the baby was not in the correct position.
Marcy had immediately been called in to help as a backward foal often ran the risk of suffocating before they’re out of the birth canal due to the umbilical cord rupturing or tearing in the birthing process.
It could also be incredibly dangerous to the mother horse.
When she arrived, she immediately went to work to manually deliver the baby and helped ensure it wasn’t deprived of oxygen.