Chapter 47
CHAPTER
FORTY-SEVEN
A knock echoed on my door.
I sighed, pushed myself up from where I’d perched at the end of the bed and tugged my hood up over my hair. But when I pressed the release for the door, it wasn’t Asher waiting, but Kal. “You ready?”
He was dressed similarly, the hood casting his face into shadow. After Asher left the night before, Kal had appeared only minutes later, crushing me to his chest and muttering over my stupidity. What were you thinking, June?
I honestly couldn’t tell him. Desperation made people do stupid things.
And I thought I might have still been desperate from the way my chest ached at Asher’s distance, even if I had been the one to demand it.
But it was Kal who had helped me back to my room last night, telling me his brother had recently been betrothed to a Haptium male with an honorable job.
He’d filled the silence with chatter, the way I’d used to back home, and it soothed something deep in my heart—the way sitting on the platform had in my dream.
“Do you think Brynne would have made it to the top?” I asked now as he waited on the threshold for me to follow him to the hangar.
Kal’s mouth tightened, jaw quirking to the side before he cleared his throat. A hand closed over my shoulder, shaking me once. “Yeah… Yeah, of course she would have. Bry would have been strong, just like you.”
Bry.
I nodded, staring down at my feet. The ship groaned around us as we approached the quadrant jump point and I took a deep breath. “I don’t think I can face him right now.”
A frown drew his brows down. Kal didn’t need to ask me who I meant.
Though I’d told him nothing of the mating bond between Asher and me, he’d assumed something had grown between us before breaking.
But I didn’t know if I could put into words that Asher was right—the prospect of our bond terrified me after so many cycles of being alone.
It was easier, after all this time, to continue to see him as the villain I’d believed him to be, to look for hidden betrayals in his actions, and ignore the justification for his lies.
“Well, then it’s good that this isn’t about him. Come on, they’re waiting.”
We fell into step. The cruiser in the hangar rumbled as its engines primed. I kept my attention fixed to the back of Kal’s head as we approached, tugging up my cowl to cover my face like it might shield me from the male standing at the end of the ramp.
Light glinted off his full mask, but the set of his shoulders spoke of the tension radiating through his limbs.
Even from here I could feel his longing like it was an extension of my own.
His hand twitched when I passed him on the ramp, fingers sliding across my cloak before falling back to his side.
We said nothing as we settled into the cruiser.
“What a comfortable silence,” Greabes muttered and the thrusters engaged.
…
The familiar trappings of the Daskquah now looked strange after so long away.
I followed a few steps behind Asher. Every so often Lyrace looked back at me with a raised brow before leaning in to murmur something to the captain.
Each time his hand brushed Asher’s shoulder my blood pressure spiked and my gloved hand turned into a fist. The third time it happened, Greabes tapped my arm, muttering that he didn’t get paid enough to break up a “lovers’ squabble. ”
Begrudgingly, I forced myself to acknowledge that every time Lyrace touched him, Asher moved his shoulder back or stepped away. It was the only thing keeping me from slipping my quara blade into both of the males one after the other.
A sigh slipped through my face covering.
Each bolt of jealousy was another reminder of the bond chafing against my skin—but not for the reasons I’d thought it would.
I couldn’t imagine a life with a mate. All I could think of was being possessed the way pleasure yeskas were, the way he’d claimed to own me on Louxuria.
Even now I was unsure of the future as we traveled through the opulent halls of the Daskquah, skirting around the workers and their clients for the evening.
Every so often Greabes hit Kal upside the head when his eyes wandered to those milling about.
“Here we go.” Lyrace opened the door to one of Lunastra’s chambers and disappeared down the hall after a wink at Asher.
But Asher wasn’t looking at him. No, his mask was turned toward me for the brief moment before we entered.
My mistress waited in the center of the bright white room, her gauzy gown flowing around bare feet. At the sight of me, her eyes narrowed before they widened and she rushed forward.
“Dearest,” she cooed, but before she could reach me Asher caught her by the shoulder.
“Juniper is injured and should be handled with care.”
She frowned, a flash of irritation marring her beautiful face before she nodded, closed the distance between us and tugged down my cowl. Her fingers curled around the now healed wound on my forearm and squeezed once. “I was so worried.”
My throat clicked with a swallow, but Kal shifted beside me, his voice rough. “She was pretty mangled in the altercation.”
Lunastra hummed. “Well, I am grateful you have returned her to me in one piece.”
“About that.” Asher tugged a communicator from his pocket and extended it toward her, a small shiny red box sitting atop it. “Your master sends his regards.”
She froze, taking a half-step back as if the items might bite her.
Asher moved a little closer, proffering them again until she was forced to accept the package.
At her touch, the communicator buzzed. A hologram of a male I thought I might have seen on Louxuria with a shock of silver and black hair stood in the parlor beside us as if he’d only just arrived.
He was tall, hawkish nose as severe as the expression on his face.
“Hello, pet,” the male said, deep voice a bit tinny with the replay.
“Thank you for all your hard work with Captain Ruciyah on recovering a most valuable artifact. I have agreed that he is to obtain the ownership of one of your girls in exchange. You will accept the captain’s package and report to me immediately. It’s been far too long.”
By the end of the transmission the box in Lunastra’s hands rattled with each breath.
“Mistress?” I murmured.
She gave a laugh that might have been a sob. “I am not your mistress any more, dearest.”
Asher looked from the dissolving hologram back to her. “Will he hurt you?”
Lunastra shook her head, sniffing before flipping back her hair and flashing him a practiced smile. “You can’t save us all, Captain Ruciyah.”
“I can try,” he murmured, so quiet I could barely hear it.
My chest tightened and I dropped my attention to my feet.
This was Asher…wasn’t it? The male who, despite his mission from his people, tried desperately to save others when he could.
I didn’t need to see his face to know he would be frowning, his eyes hard as he weighed each word before he spoke it.
“You should leave his ship the moment you deliver the package,” he instructed.
Lunastra pursed her lips. “I will do my best.”
…
We were quiet on the transport back to the Kuxatana and Asher did not look my way when we landed. I sat in my seat for longer than necessary, watching Greabes do his final landing checks.
“You going to sit here and watch an old man shut down a ship or go after him?” he muttered with annoyance.
Shooting to my feet, I made my way down the ramp, barely catching Greabes’ grumbled “right choice” as I went to the one place I thought he might be.
The door to the observation deck hissed open and there he was, seated at one of the couches facing the window, his helmet beside him on the cushion and head in his hands.
Dark hair spilled out around him like the cowl he so often wore.
I took my time approaching, weighing each word as he so often did, before I dropped to my knees in front of him, tugging his hands from his face. Heat radiated from his palms and the raised ridges of his scars. I couldn’t help but trace them slowly with my thumb.
“I’m not…a people person,” I said. He huffed a laugh at my words, one hand flipping over to grab my wrist. I leaned forward, pressing my brow to his knuckles. “I’ve spent most of my life alone… Others are unpredictable. The only thing I could ever trust was myself.”
Asher hummed, fingertips tracing the line of my cheek, but I didn’t lift my head. I took a deep breath, exhaling in a gust.
“You say I need to trust you and what I’m saying is: give me time.”
Slowly, he tilted my face up, stroking my hair away from where it tangled in my lashes.
There was so much warmth there in his gaze, the silver of his eyes molten, that it felt like basking in the midday suns of a long-forgotten place that had once had my heart.
And I thought I understood just a bit what he’d meant when I’d first woken up: when he’d said I was his home.
“I will give you everything. If time is what you want, then it’s time you’ll get. Just…” He swallowed, sliding his knees apart and drawing me closer. “Just let me kiss you, j’ska mahsi. I think I might die if I don’t.”