Chapter Four #2
Margo, large sack in her arms, looked towards her expectantly.
The Ocrein Princess sighed, but continued explaining as we walked.
“I don’t miss the pressure. Sure, there’s pressure on Callum and me here, too, but there’s also more freedom.
Our parents aren’t breathing down our necks and we aren’t constantly entertaining those around us.
Yes, we’re still on display here in the South, but in a different way than back home.
We can sort of… create our own image of ourselves here, while back home our image was honed and crafted to perfection by our parents since we were very small.
” She nodded towards me. “I’m sure Aviva gets it. ”
I could feel Matea glancing at me, but I took a moment to think about it before responding.
It was true, the pressure and control kept on me back in the North was intense. Here, sure there was still pressure and expectations, but it wasn’t the same as when I was growing up. Caelia was right—here, I got to create my own image. I was able to be my own person.
“She’s right, Margo,” I said after a handful of thoughtful seconds.
Margo nodded, looking as though she didn’t expect this answer. “I think I’d miss it here, if I ever left,” she said quietly.
Shifting the pack I was carrying into one arm, I used my free hand to ruffle her unruly hair as I said, “Good thing you never have to.”
***
I stood in front of the door that led to my original chambers; the door itself being the newest one in the long hallway I was hesitating in.
Steeling myself, I inhaled deeply, then knocked four times on the wooden door.
The room beyond was silent and still, from what I could tell. Despite my turbulent emotions recently, my ability to wield my zirilium had only strengthened. The sun and moon stones helped me focus them through the conduits, instead of solely being connected to my emotions, as they had previously.
Even with the desire to stay in bed most days recently, getting out and using my abilities in some way was still necessary, at least a couple times a week.
Otherwise, I realized they would get backed up quicker than when I was taking my elixirs.
I supposed the elixirs not only hid everything about me that was Southern, but also helped keep my zirilium from regularly overflowing.
Or, maybe it was simply the fact that I had been using them more often recently, due to not being forced to hide that part of myself any longer. Like a muscle that grew in strength over time, my zirilium seemed to grow with me, too.
“Aurora, can we please talk?” I asked through the door.
She’d been staying in my old chambers since she arrived here in the South with Eden, my griffin, a month ago now. And though I was beyond happy she was somewhere safe and had made it out of the North alive, she didn’t seem to view the situation the same way.
Despite having been here for some time now, Aurora would still only speak to me.
She refused to even interact with a Southerner.
She also wouldn’t agree with my reasoning that I was, indeed, Southern as well, so they can’t be all bad.
Her understanding still was that the South was the enemy to any and all Northerners, as they had been for centuries.
I tried introducing her to the Valwain, but she’d refused to utter a word.
I had even asked Laurence to try speaking to her, but we made the mistake of introducing the two of them on a day where Laurence was helping out in the library.
Though he had a Northerner’s blue eyes, the dark green robes the library helpers wore had her immediately closed off to him.
She had called him a traitor, and I had quickly dismissed my friend and personal bodyguard after that, not wanting him to have to relive any of his past trauma.
Now, I stopped by frequently, trying to get through to her and help her see reason. I did my best to be understanding—her having to learn to accept that the North was forced to remain in the dark was difficult. But it was also necessary if she ever wanted to start building a life here in the South.
I sighed, then focused on the sun stones adorning the knuckles of my right glove. Using just one, I shifted my feet slightly wider than they were and threw my awareness into the earth below me.
The corridors of The Haven were all made of wood flooring—except for the private, royal wing. The royal wing—which I’d learned had been an addition to the original structure of the castle—had stone flooring, which was, technically, a type of earth.
Through the stone below me, I could feel the female who was once my closest friend pacing the length of the room just on the other side of the door.
She did well to step lightly enough so her footsteps remained unheard, but she couldn’t stop the tiny vibrations that were sent through the earth with each step she took.
“Aurora, I know you’re in there. I checked the library and gardens for you—this is the only place you could be. Plus, I can feel you pacing in there. You only do that when you’re stressed or anxious.” I leaned my head against the door. “Please let me in.”
Having never dropped the connection I had with the stone below, I felt her pause. I imagined her in there, hesitation and caution written across her features.
Then, she moved. The door swung open so fast I had to catch myself on the doorframe in order to not fall into the female suddenly standing there.
The female before me was different than I had come to know her as over the years we’d spent together.
Her soft, blue eyes no longer sparkled as they once had, such as when she’d learned something new during her trokav training with Hugo.
Her face had grown slightly slimmer in her time here, as she often refused the food I brought her.
Her light blonde hair, which used to appear as delicate as silk, had lost its shine.
I couldn’t understand it. She was safe. She’d made it out, and now we had each other. Wasn’t that better than nothing?
“Hi,” I said, a bit dumbfounded, before clearing my throat. “Care for a walk?”
Poking her head out into the corridor, she glanced up and down the length of the hallway. “Maybe we can chat in one of the lounge rooms?” she asked.
Thinking of the meetings we’d had lately, and the different rooms housing different documents and plans, I shook my head. “They’re… occupied. But we could walk into town, if you pleased. It’s a beautiful day out,” I replied hopefully.
At that, her expression hardened. As though she had pulled up the drawbridge that she had dropped between us, even if it had been briefly.
“What is it this time, Viva?” she inquired, getting straight to the point.
“I just…” I hesitated a heartbeat, before deciding to bare my heart to her. “I miss you. I miss our friendship. I thought you would end up adjusting, but you haven’t, and I’m not sure what I can do to help.”
Aurora’s eyes softened a degree, but not by much.
“I don’t belong here, Viva,” she sighed.
“I’m happy you feel as though you’ve found your place here—even if I disagree—but this isn’t my place.
And I won’t fall for their tricks. They may act welcoming and kind, but that doesn’t change everything we were taught back home.
Deep down, they’re still monsters, Viva. ”
It was so frustrating to hear that after all she’d seen firsthand while in the South, she still didn’t believe them to be the good ones in the war. And yet even if she couldn’t do that, couldn’t she believe in me, and what I had to say?
“They aren’t monsters, Aurora! You don’t have to trust them, but why can’t you trust me?” I cried out, wings flared slightly, and tears threatening to spring to my eyes.
At that, her tough demeanor cracked and fissured. She reached for me, placing a hand on my shoulder, and for just a moment I saw the female I had grown up with again.
“I’ll try, Viva. I’ll try,” she said softly, as though whispering a promise.
Though I wasn’t completely sure I believed her anymore.
It seemed like I wasn’t the only one who had changed during our time apart.