CHAPTER TWELVE
R UBY
My head is a swirl of conflicting thoughts as I walk the rest of the trail to the street in front of the bookshop.
It sounds like Torrence is definitely the man I saw in the back of the restaurant, and he’s even more gorgeous than I imagined. I’d recognize those amber eyes anywhere, glinting like golden sunlight through the forest branches.
But wow, is he ever hot and cold.
A girl could get whiplash trying to follow him from flirty to asshole and back again. Even though he acted like I was an inconvenience, I sure didn’t miss the sizable bulge in his jeans. He was interested, but I think he was telling himself no. And it only makes me want to figure out why.
Hopefully, he isn’t already dating someone, because I refuse to go there.
I also suspect that he’s the guy Rose met with Arlo, since he’s the restaurant owner. I can see why she clocked him as an asshole. Unfortunately, that doesn’t really deter me. If anything, I’m a moth drawn straight into the flame of those amber eyes. I want to see what the light can show me, even if I get a little burned in the process.
I wish I’d asked him to grab coffee, or at least gotten his phone number.
Physically, he’s perfect, really. The type of man I like the best, if I could only have one forever. Tan skin, like he hikes a lot. Dangerously sexy smile, especially when I surprised him into a laugh. Dark hair streaked with golden highlights, and those eyes like a solar eclipse, darkness ringed in amber fire.
Maybe it’s the romance reader in me, but he looked like a fallen angel in the afternoon forest light. And maybe it’s the dark romance reader in me, but every time he snapped cold instead of hot, it made me that much more aware of a delicious dark side that I’d kill to play with.
I can’t wait to tell Rose.
ROSE
I hadn’t meant to take a nap, but at some point during the afternoon, my spreadsheets began to blur and a rare midday sleepiness tugged my head down on the tabletop anyway. I wake feeling groggy and disoriented, blinking my way back to reality as I brew myself yet another mug of coffee.
The dreams I’d had during my unplanned nap seemed to run backward through time, like flipping through a photo album in reverse. Except the moments I’d dreamed about weren’t the kind you photograph.
I stare blankly out a window at the overcast day and the foggy woods beyond, breathing through the bittersweet ache in my chest as I try to shake off the dreams.
My childhood wasn’t bad compared to many, but every family has its trauma. There’s a heavy weight in my stomach after reliving the highlights, and I wonder what caused me to dream of those things now, after so many years of feeling free of their weight.
The image that refuses to shake loose as I stare into the trees is one from the day my mom left. My childhood self had watched with nose pressed to the kitchen window as she and my dad screamed it out in the driveway, then she slammed the car door and peeled away.
I didn’t realize then that I’d never see her again.
They’d fought like that before, and she’d always returned after a few days, bringing a big bag of candy for me and silent glares for my dad.
I used to wonder if she would have done things differently, knowing she would be killed by a drunk driver before she could repeat the toxic pattern. I want to believe, but I’ll never know for sure if she would have said goodbye to me. My dad shut down afterward, and in the end, it was like I’d lost both parents.
Years of therapy have mostly healed that wound, but in the hazy aftermath of today’s dream, I find it hard to shake the sting of abandonment. I recognize the beginning of a spiral, and I immediately swallow some of the too-hot coffee, then force myself to recite some mantras.
“I am more than my past. All parts of me are good parts. I accept them all, and I love each part. I’m more than my past,” I repeat under my breath as I hear the front door of the bookshop slam.
“Rosey?” Ruby’s voice calls out, the sound of her boots on the bare floors echoing toward me.
“There you are,” she said, bouncing through the office door. Her cheeks are flushed from the outside air, and she looks like she has a story to tell. Her dark eyes crinkle as she tilts her head, examining me. “Were you sleeping?”
“Sorry, yeah. I don’t know how I even...” I shut down my rambling. It’s not important - Ruby isn’t some grumbling boss who has caught me napping on company time. “Spreadsheets,” I offer as a way of explanation, gesturing at my laptop as I remove my smudged glasses to clean them.
She makes a gagging noise. “I’d rather be dreaming, too. I haven’t had a good one in ages.”
“What’s up?” I ask. She’s practically vibrating with excitement, and I have no desire to keep the attention on me.
Ruby paces the office space with way too much energy to sit. “I met someone! In the woods,” she adds, as if that’s a perfectly normal place to meet someone.
“A man, I’m guessing?” I give her a teasing grin as I realize the flush on her cheeks might not just be from the cool air.
“Obvi. He’s gorgeous, Rose. Kind of shy, maybe, but nice. I think you’d like him, actually, despite... But wait. I felt - don’t laugh - but I felt some sort of spark. Like magic. Or, like what I imagine magic would feel like. And there was a fairy ring. You know, all the plants and mushrooms growing in a circle?”
I laugh, gesturing for her to slow the hell down. I have no idea what she’s talking about. “I want the whole story,” I assure her. “Just more organized, please.” I hold up my coffee to remind her I’m not at full power yet.
“Okay, so the asshole guy you met with Arlo? I think maybe he’s not a complete asshole. Because I think he’s the guy I met today. I’m, like, ninety-five percent sure. He’s funny, Rosey. And freaking hot. He likes to hike, and he found me when I was taking pictures of this fairy ring I found. Here, look.” She whips out her phone and scrolls through some shots of mushrooms and flowers.
“What’s his name?” I ask her, trying to get the basics down. Maybe I did misjudge him the other night. It was only a few minutes, after all. Or maybe he’s one of those dudes who’s only nice to girls he wants to fuck.
“Torrence. He owns the restaurant, so of course he knows Arlo. I think maybe you just caught him at a bad time. He even walked me back here, in case there were animals or something.”
“Good for you,” I say, giving her a smile. Ruby deserves a good guy, and I hope he really is one. “Are you going to meet up again?”
A look of uncertainty crosses her face, but she hides it away quickly. “We didn’t exchange numbers or anything, but he did say he’d like to hike with me again. Besides, we both know where the other one works.”
“And lives,” I point out, the city girl in me not loving how everyone around here basically knows all our business. I’d gotten used to the relative anonymity of living around hundreds of thousands of people.
“Don’t worry. I’m not moving him in tomorrow or anything. I want to take this one slow. I always jump too hard, you know?” Ruby says, her gaze drifting to the woods beyond us. I’m happy to hear her say it, even though I recognize this also means she sees real potential in this one, after barely an afternoon. That alone is a contradiction, but I don’t point it out.
“You’ll get it right when it’s right to get,” I say, repeating something my dad always said, and she laughs. We’ve made fun of the saying before, but sometimes it’s helpful to take a step back and let things settle.
“I sure hope so. Hey, have you eaten? Do you want to go out for an early dinner? I know there are lots of restaurants gearing up for tourist season, and we’ll probably be too busy to go out once it all starts.”
I quickly agree, realizing I napped through lunch. For once, I’m glad for an excuse not to go back to my spreadsheets and boxes of dusty books, so we split to get ready. A hot shower revitalizes me, washing away the remnants of sour feelings from the dreaming. At least the bathrooms in this place are updated, even if the wallpaper isn’t.
When I head downstairs to find Ruby, I’m back to being mellow and grounded, no spiral in sight.
“I love it. I love it all so much,” Ruby sings when she sees me, twirling in a circle in the room. She pulls me along to spin with her, and even though I feel silly, her mood is infectious.
“This is our freaking moment, Rose. Our time. We’re so ready for all the good things coming our way.”
“You deserve it all, Ru.”
“ We deserve it,” she corrects, hugging me tightly.
We walk to dinner arm in arm, enjoying the slanting sunlight and the earthy smell of spring. Charles calls a cheerful hello to us as he wipes down his shop windows, and I see life stirring all along the string of shops. The days are ticking down until tourist season begins, and everyone is preparing with new signage, beautiful window displays, fresh planter boxes, and spring cleaning. We wave to several other neighbors along the streets, introducing ourselves to a few here and there.
“This whole town is so freaking cute,” Ruby sighs as we near the seafood place we’d chosen. “I actually feel comfortable here.”
“It doesn’t quite feel like home yet, but I think maybe it could,” I admit, willing it to be true. It’s hard for me to truly think of any place as home, but I’ve always chalked it up to my unstable childhood and distant father. Having Ruby here with me is more comforting than any beautiful sunset or friendly neighbor, though, so hopefully Clearwater will eventually feel like home to both of us.
The host seats us on a covered balcony, space heaters keeping us comfortable in the chilly spring evening. Leaving her menu closed, Ruby gestures out to the woods beyond and the blue-gray mountains in the distance.
“This is the beginning of something, Rosey. Our inciting incident. You know, the thing that snaps us out of our boring, stable lives and starts the journey. I can feel it.”
I admire the view and work to siphon some of her trust in the potential here.
“I feel it, too,” I say, and I realize I’m not just pretending to agree with her. I do get the sense that things are changing for us.
But I know - and she does too - that change isn’t always good.
“Just remember, that hero’s journey thing always sucks a little for the main character. Trials and tribulations abound,” I tease her lightly, unable to shake all of my misgivings.
She’s dreamy-eyed, though, and my words slide off like water. “Yeah, but the journey always leads to a happy ever after. You deserve that, Rose. And I fucking do, too. This is it, I can feel it.”
“You do deserve it, Ruby,” I murmur, soaking in some of her belief. Hope has always been an elusive emotion for me, but she has enough for us both. It’s part of why Ruby and I cling so hard to our friendship. I fight against depression and anxiety, and she has a way of making everything seem possible and wonderful. She struggles to relate to most people or understand why they do things, and I try my ass off to help her remember how great her mind is, even if it works differently.
When I linked my future to hers with the bookshop, I was depending just as much on that promise of a future filled with hope, as I was looking at a new place to live and work.
We order and eat, and although we agree we’d rather be at Goblin Market , the food is good enough. Our conversation turns, like it so often does, to brainstorming ideas for the shop. We have so many plans that it will be hard to put some on hold to focus on the most effective first.
The restaurant isn’t busy, so we take our time, lingering until well after dark. Our conversation seems to have run its course by the time we walk back to the shop, and I enjoy the easy silence with my best friend as much as our lively discussions. That’s how you know you really love a person, if you don’t feel the need to entertain or be entertained every second.
“Is it just me, or is there something on our stoop?” Ruby asks as we near the shop. I squint, my pulse jumping as I recognize another one of those fucking white bakery boxes.
“Is he serious right now? One food gift is cute, the second one was nice, but now it just feels like he’s calling me fat,” I grumble as I bend over to pick up the box.
Before I have it, Ruby swoops down and snatches up the box. She teases me, acting like she’s going to hold it out of my reach. Which is ridiculous, because I have a good five inches on her. Another note slips out from under the lid, and I grab it from the air, grinning at her in triumph as I adjust my glasses.
But when I see the names on the outside, I’m surprised to realize the box isn’t just for me. “Hey, look,” I say, holding it above her head while I read it. “It’s addressed to both of us.”
She shrieks and almost drops the pastry box. “Gimme.”
I laugh and make the trade, and Ruby reads the note with wide eyes. “Is it from your hiker?” I ask, and she nods, grinning.
“And Arlo, too. And look, Torrence left his number!”
I snag the paper from her, narrowing my eyes at the familiar slanted writing. Isn’t this the same handwriting as the previous note that Arlo sent me? Hopefully, Torrence knows his friend sent it, or this could get awkward fast.
“Are we... being courted?” Ruby giggles.
“Not very well.” I roll my eyes and hand her the note before unlocking the shop.
“Hey, you said yourself that Arlo was hot enough to ignore a few red flags. Maybe you should follow your regular MO. Get in, get that orgasm, and get out.” Her shoulder bumps mine playfully.
I shrug and sigh. “I’m kind of just over it now. It was one of those in-the-moment things.”
“Hey, maybe we could try a double date!”
I groan as I follow Ruby up the stairs to our apartment. “That is not on my bucket list, Ru.”
“Please? I’m just gonna text him and see what he thinks. Come along for moral support or whatever, and if you still don’t like Arlo afterward, I’ll never say his name again.”
When she turns at the top of the stairs to fix me in her excited gaze, I give in and hold out my pinkie finger for a promise shake. There’s no point in trying to derail Ruby now - she always finds a way to convince me.
As soon as our fingers link, I hear the notification from her phone of a sent message, and I try not to grimace while she giggles.
“It’s out in the world now,” she says, giving me a playful wink. She knows I’ll be her body double for this, like she’s done for me plenty of times.
“Actually, it’s probably good for me to tag along and meet this guy for real. If he’s an asshole, I’ll see it before you do,” I point out. I’m not the only one experienced in ignoring red flags in favor of a fun night. Once Ruby sets her sights on a guy, he has to really fuck up before she cuts him off.
“Hey, he already read it,” she answers instead, blinking down at her phone. Hardly anyone has those read receipts on anymore. I peer over her shoulder, waiting for the typing dots to appear, but they never do. A sinking feeling begins in the pit of my stomach.
I really don’t want her to get hurt.
She huffs and slides the phone back in her pocket, popping open the bakery box and swirling her finger through the buttercream frosting on a slice of lavender-scented cake. She sucks it into her mouth, her eyes drifting closed.
“Yum.”
I do Ruby the favor of staying quiet, but we both know that leaving her on read only added another tally to my side of the asshole score card. Cooking skills aside, it’s evidently just as hard to find a decent guy in a small town as it was in the big city.