Chapter 21
The next morning, once Joanna reached the coffee counter, she froze. There was another letter, the third in five days.
She glanced toward the warehouse door and then snatched it up quickly.
After slipping it into her pocket, she poked her head into the work area.
The warehouse door was locked when she arrived.
But perhaps Caleb or Tim had delivered the letter yesterday afternoon.
She’d left before they’d arrived back from the Garden Lane house.
She started a pot of coffee and retreated to Becky’s desk.
This time the verse was from Joshua. Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.
Again, the writer had signed it Someone Who Cares.
Be not afraid. That was certainly timely.
It was sweet to think that perhaps another older woman in the district—besides Mammi Lu and Becky—cared about her.
The thought that it might be Mammi Rhoda unsettled Joanna.
They’d never been close, and Joanna wasn’t sure that she’d ever seen her paternal grandmother’s handwriting.
She knew she wouldn’t recognize it if she had, but Joanna hoped that Mammi Rhoda would reach out to her in person, not in secret, if she felt led to.
Then again, a secret connection was better than none.
Perhaps the move to Strasburg Township had made Mammi Rhoda more caring.
Joanna doubted the transition had been easy for her.
She considered writing Someone Who Cares back but then decided against it. She wanted to know who she was writing to first.
A few minutes later she heard voices in the warehouse. Caleb’s and Tim’s and a third one soon after. Jacob’s. Why did his voice still make her heart race? And make her sick to her stomach at the same time?
She still felt unsettled about Daniel’s conversation with her earlier in the week.
He’d seemed sure she should have an answer for him.
Jacob had broken up with her. He’d said they wouldn’t be getting back together this time.
That had been it. Why did Daniel care? Unless there really was something going on between Veronica and Jacob.
That made her feel even more unsettled. Not just because of her pride, but out of worry for Veronica.
She was too young for a relationship with Jacob—Mandy mentioned she’d turned eighteen the week before.
She stepped to the office door just as Adam and Becky walked into the warehouse. She couldn’t see Jacob.
After Becky said hello she said, “I have a few things I need to see to. Then Nick is going to take me to the hospital. Yesterday the doctor thought Ike would spend the weekend, but the nurse called this morning and said he’s going to be discharged by this afternoon.”
Surprised, Joanna asked, “Today?”
“Jah.” Becky seemed surprised too.
She and Adam stepped into the office, and Joanna headed to the coffee counter with her mug. As she refilled it, Jacob stepped out of the work area.
She didn’t speak to him.
“Is there coffee?” he asked.
Joanna pointed at the percolator on the stovetop.
“Denki.”
She wanted to say, “I didn’t make it for you” but bit her tongue, literally, instead.
But then she thought of him with his head in his hands, sitting on the edge of the tub at the Garden Lane house.
And of—someone—reaching out to her in kindness.
Mammi Lu sometimes said, “It’s better to give others a piece of your heart than a piece of your mind. ” That’s what Jesus would do.
As Joanna asked, “How are you doing?” Jacob asked, “Are you doing okay?”
Her heart swelled a little and she answered, “I’m all right.” At the same time, he said, “Not very well.”
Her heart lurched.
Caleb called out, “Jacob! We need to get going.”
Jacob reached for a mug and then began pouring the coffee. Caleb called out for him again, adding, “Come on!”
Jacob headed toward the door, sloshing coffee over the rim of the mug. He stopped and took a drink and then kept going. She hoped he didn’t spill any in the van. That would not make Becky happy.
Adam came out of the office. “Everything okay?”
She nodded.
Adam smiled. “Gut. I heard Jacob’s voice—was he treating you all right?”
“Jah.” She stood up straight. “He was fine.”
Adam grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. “Come back into the office—Mammi’s going over our list. I appreciate you copying it.” He grinned. “She can actually read my contributions now.”
Joanna led the way, feeling a little shaky after her encounter with Jacob.
On one hand, he’d asked how she was doing.
But on the other, he was acting strangely.
Did he expect her to feel sorry for him?
She’d avoid him as much as possible from now on, although it would be impossible once they all started working on the Pequea Creek house.
Joanna continued to feel unsettled as she helped Adam double-check the list with occasional comments from Becky. What if Jacob, and not Mammi Rhoda or another lady in the district, had written the letters to her? She wouldn’t take him back again, she was certain of that.
No, he hadn’t written the letters. He wouldn’t have been capable of it six months ago, let alone now. But she would like to know what was going on with him.
An hour later, Nick dropped Adam and Joanna off at the Pequea Creek house before taking Becky to the hospital. He planned to bring both Ike and Becky home later in the day.
Joanna and Adam confirmed measurements from the draftsman’s changes, talked through the needed building materials one last time, measured the veranda, and then confirmed each detail on their list. Two hours later, Nick picked them up and took them to order the building materials in Lancaster.
From there, they took the city bus to the cabinet shop, and after they completed their order they walked to the appliance store.
When they finished, Adam suggested they get lunch, a late one since it was already close to three o’clock.
Joanna wasn’t hungry, but she knew Adam needed to eat.
They walked next door to a sandwich shop.
She picked at a chicken salad while Adam devoured a tuna melt on rye.
She stared out the window thinking about Jacob. Was he conflicted over something? He’d taken Veronica home, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything.
Adam said something.
She answered, “Pardon?” But then it registered he’d asked if she was all right. Her face grew warm and most likely red. “I’m fine, really.” She dipped a piece of cucumber in the ranch dressing.
“Not hungry?”
“Not really.” She nodded toward the company cell phone Adam had placed on the table. “You should probably text Nick. Maybe he can pick us up before he goes back to the hospital.”
“Good idea.” Adam sent a text. Then he took the last bite of his sandwich and started in on his potato chips. “Want one?”
“No, thank you.” Joanna dipped a piece of lettuce in the salad dressing.
“It’s going to take a long time for you to finish your salad that way.”
She pushed it toward him. “Do you want some?”
Instead of answering, he said, “I’m worried about you.”
Her face grew even warmer.
“What did Jacob want today?”
She speared another piece of lettuce. “Nothing.”
“Joanna, you might not believe I have your best interests in mind, but I do.” His voice dropped a little. “At least I think I do.”
In the past couple of weeks, he’d become her closest friend—even though he denied being her friend at all. Besides Mammi Lu, Adam seemed to be the person she could depend on most. She cared about what he thought.
Adam leaned toward her. “Let Jacob go.”
She said, “I have.” But her eyes grew teary. Perhaps the breakup was finally registering. It was a big loss, not just of Jacob but of all her dreams for her future too. She’d been so determined to be brave that, perhaps, she hadn’t let herself grieve. That wasn’t good either.
“I know you’re hurt, but he’s not right for you.”
She bristled. “I know. We’re not getting back together.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” He sighed and sat up straight. He seemed genuinely relieved. “Because Jacob wouldn’t have broken up with you twice if he was the right man for you.”
Adam’s words stung. But why was she feeling defensive? She didn’t want Jacob back, right? She put her fork on her plate and her napkin on top.
“Wait.” Adam reached for her plate. “If you’re really not going to eat that, I will.”
She took her napkin off the salad and scooted the plate toward him.
Helping Ike and Becky check out of the hospital distracted Joanna from thinking about Jacob and the anonymous letters. She packed Ike’s things, collected all of the paperwork, and used the cell phone to coordinate Nick driving to the pickup area right before they started down.
By the time Nick helped Ike into the front seat, the patient appeared to be exhausted.
Adam climbed into the back. Joanna was the last one in the van and hesitated for a moment, not sure if she should sit with Becky or Adam.
She decided on Becky. The last thing she wanted was for Adam to bring up Jacob again.
She also didn’t want to remember sitting with him in the very same van in the very same seat three years ago.
No one talked on the way home. Joanna guessed Ike had fallen asleep.
Nick slowed down when they reached Strasburg and stopped at the red light by the creamery.
Joanna glanced to the left. Was that Jacob seated at an outside table?
She turned her head to get a better view.
Jah, it was. And Veronica sat across from him.
Becky made a funny noise. She’d seen them too.
So had Adam. Joanna quickly looked straight ahead.
Adam leaned forward and put his hand on her shoulder. She ignored him. Becky’s head turned a few times, most likely from watching Jacob to watching Joanna.
A few minutes later, Nick turned into Mammi Lu’s driveway. Joanna asked Adam if he’d taken a casserole out for dinner.
“We have leftovers from last night. Denki for asking.” His voice was kind—too kind. It made her want to cry.
Joanna’s eyelids felt scratchy again even though she hadn’t been crying. Adam cared.
“Come over and check in with me in the morning,” Becky said as Joanna opened the van door. “See what we need. Bring Lu.”
“All right.” Joanna jumped down and turned to close the door, holding back her tears.
She met Adam’s gaze for a brief minute. He was right about Jacob, of course.
She called out goodbye to Ike and Nick. Then she turned toward the house, swallowing her tears.
She didn’t want Mammi Lu to ask her what was wrong.
There was no reason to share her awkward interaction with Jacob from earlier or what she’d just seen.
Jacob taking Veronica home from the singing could have been an act of kindness, but taking her to the creamery meant something more.
She thought of the first time Jacob had taken her to the creamery.
How he’d opened up about his father leaving his family.
How he’d smiled so genuinely she could feel it in her soul—or so she thought.
Maybe she’d felt it somewhere else. He’d charmed her with his talk of how thankful he was to be living in Lancaster County and how he never wanted to live anywhere else.
Of how God had led him to live with his uncle.
Of how he knew God had a purpose for him in Strasburg Township.
She’d been so sure that purpose was her.
That evening Joanna kept working in the garden even after Mammi Lu had gone into the house to read before going to bed.
She began weeding, pulling the hoe between rows of zinnias. She still had ten minutes or so before the sun set—and then she could pull out her head lamp or go into the house alone and think more about Jacob.
She fought back tears as she heard the whistling. She stepped to the gate as Adam turned the corner to the tune of “You Are My Sunshine.” What a fitting song for the setting sun. She hummed along.
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.
She couldn’t remember the verses.
Joanna called out, “How is Ike doing?”
“Gut,” Adam said. “He’s sleeping, propped up on the couch in the living room. Mammi put a cot next to the couch so can she sleep close to him.”
Joanna’s heart swelled. Of all the couples she knew, she hoped for a marriage like Becky and Ike’s the most.
“How are you?” Adam asked.
She pulled one glove off and rubbed her temple.
“Not so good?”
She tried to smile. “I didn’t want him to move on so quickly.” Was that her pride speaking? “It’s not that I want him back.”
Adam gave her a nod.
Obviously the letters weren’t from Jacob, which she’d known. Becky was right—they were from some older woman she knew. She’d go back to thinking they were from Mammi Rhoda. Joanna swiped at her eyes. “Would you like a glass of lemonade?”
“Do you feel up to it?”
“Jah.” She put her hoe against the gate.
He sat in Dawdi Marcus’s rocking chair, and when she returned she handed him his lemonade, put a plate of oatmeal-and-butterscotch cookies down on the table, and sat in Mammi’s chair.
Adam took a cookie. “Did you know butterscotch is my favorite?”
“Nee,” Joanna answered.
He took a bite and then said, “That’s because you’ve never gone out to ice cream with me.”
Joanna laughed.
The sun set and the lightning bugs glimmered at the edge of the woods. A buggy went by, but Joanna didn’t turn toward the road. It wasn’t Ike and Becky. If it was Jacob, he most likely had Veronica with him.
For once, Adam didn’t talk, which Joanna appreciated. She felt calmer sitting with him than she had working in the garden. Adam ate another cookie.
After a while, she said, “You should go home in case your grandfather needs you.”
Adam drained his lemonade. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Jah,” she answered. “See you then.”