Chapter 35
Saturday after her half day of work, Joanna caught a ride with Caleb to talk with Mandy, who was weeding the garden when they arrived. But then Mandy was on the back porch, calling out, “Hallo!” Joanna glanced back at the garden. Miriam was the one doing the weeding.
Mandy waved and then Miriam called out, “Hallo!” too. Hollyhocks lined the back of the garden.
After Joanna climbed down from the buggy and Caleb wrestled her scooter from the back, the twins started toward her while Caleb drove the buggy on to the barn.
Miriam had a basket in her hands. As she reached Joanna, she said, “Let’s make hollyhock dolls again.
The blooms aren’t going to last much longer. ”
“What about Caleb’s dinner?” Joanna asked.
“He has some work to do in the barn first,” Mandy said. “I have chicken noodle soup on the stove when he’s ready.” It had rained the night before, which dropped the temperature into the low sixties for the day.
“Jah,” Joanna answered, buttoning up her sweater. “I’d love to make hollyhock dolls.” Jacob and Miriam’s wedding would be at the end of October, seven weeks away. Miriam wasn’t showing, not obviously, anyway.
“We’ll need toothpicks.” Miriam handed the basket to Joanna. “I’ll go get them.”
As Joanna followed Mandy around to the front porch, she asked, “Is Miriam still staying here?”
“Nee. She’s living with our grandparents, but she comes over every couple of days to help me.”
“How are you feeling?” Joanna asked.
“Awful.” Mandy grinned. “But it’s the best feeling in the world—most of the time.” She sat down in one of the lawn chairs and motioned to another. “Miriam, on the other hand, is feeling fine.”
“What about me?” Miriam asked as she came through the front door and joined them on the porch.
“I said you’re feeling fine.”
“About the baby, jah, but not . . .” Miriam’s voice trailed off.
Joanna knew neither Mandy nor Miriam would be talking so openly about their pregnancies with anyone but her. And it seemed perhaps Miriam wanted to talk about something else too.
Joanna leaned toward Miriam. “But?”
She took three flowers from the basket and handed them to Joanna. “I’m not feeling so fine about Jacob.”
Joanna chose three red blossoms and passed the basket to Mandy. “How so?”
Miriam met Joanna’s gaze. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said. I don’t love him.” Her brown eyes sparked. “I’m not even sure I like him.”
“Miriam,” Mandy cooed. “The two of you just had a spat is all. Think of the baby.”
“I am,” Miriam said. “It’s more than a spat—all we do is argue. And all I can think about is the baby. I’m this little one’s mother. What kind of family will I be bringing him or her into?”
“But how would you support a child without Jacob?” Mandy asked. “Where would you live?”
Miriam put a toothpick through a flower. “Mammi Elaine said I could live with them as long as I need.”
Mandy’s voice squeaked a little. “Really? After your baby’s born too?”
Miriam nodded. Joanna hid her surprise. That didn’t sound like the Elaine she knew.
“This is all so complicated.” Miriam nodded toward Mandy. “Your baby is a blessing. Mine is a—well, complication.”
“Ach, Miriam,” Joanna said. “Your baby is a blessing too. Truly.” She would do everything she could to support Miriam and this little one.
Miriam exhaled and then said, “Denki, Joanna. I appreciate it—especially coming from you. You’ve been gracious. Something I don’t deserve, especially not from you.”
Joanna bit her tongue for a moment, but then said, “Jah. You do deserve it from me. Especially from me.” She grimaced.
Miriam laughed. “I take it you didn’t like him either.”
“Nee, I did. But I’ve been seeing things more clearly now.
” Joanna threaded her hollyhocks on the toothpick.
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I kind of feel sorry for him.
I mean, he appears so put together. So confident.
But he’s not. He’s a mess. He was courting both of us at the same time.
And then he broke up with me because, it seems, he wanted to court Veronica.
Didn’t he realize everything would catch up with him eventually? ”
“Nee.” Miriam sighed. “I don’t think he thought it ever would. I’m kind of surprised Becky and Ike kept him on at their business after the way he treated you.”
Joanna simply said, “They’re good people.”
“Jah.” Miriam glanced at Mandy. “Did you tell Joanna what they did for you?”
Mandy glanced around, as if someone might hear them, and then said, “Becky paid for us to go to a clinic she went to when she couldn’t get pregnant again.”
Joanna’s heart lurched. Becky had wanted more children.
“I’m really sorry I repeated that rumor about Becky only wanting one child.” Mandy blushed. “Mammi Elaine told it to me a long time ago. I thought it was true, but it wasn’t.”
Joanna winced, thankful she hadn’t passed it on. Which she wouldn’t have, no matter what.
Mandy changed the subject. “Did you know they all gave Miriam a quilt?”
Joanna shook her head.
Miriam had a peaceful expression on her face.
“I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
And I think the other women wanting to bless me made Mammi Elaine more willing to let me live with them.
” Miriam took a pen out of her apron pocket and drew a face on the lime green receptacle of one of her hollyhocks.
“I want to help with the barn raising, to do something to help Becky and Ike.”
“What if Jacob’s there?”
“He won’t be,” Miriam said. “He’s going back to Ohio for a couple of weeks. He leaves Monday morning. I’m going to tell him tonight that I’m not going to marry him.” She handed the pen to Joanna. “Honestly, he’ll be relieved.”
“He needs to pay child support,” Joanna said.
“Jah. We’ll need to figure all of that out.
” Miriam sighed and pushed the toothpick through her blooms. A right-side up bloom made the head, followed by two upside-down flowers, which looked like a full skirt.
It was much fancier than an Amish doll. She held it up.
“This is in memory of less-complicated times.”
“Nee, these dolls are in hopes of all the times to come.” Joanna raised hers too. “With good friends.” She smiled at Miriam and then at Mandy. “I’ve been envying our grandmothers’ friendship circle. But we have that too—more than ever now.”
The twins agreed.
“Speaking of the future, how are you and Adam doing?” Miriam asked.
“What?” Joanna choked on the word.
Miriam laughed. “You two are perfect for each other.” She looked at Mandy. “Right?”
Mandy smiled. “I’m not going to comment.”
“It’s only been a couple of months since Jacob broke up with me.”
“So?” Miriam tossed her doll up in the air and then caught it. “You’ve known Adam for forever.”
“Only three years,” Joanna said.
Miriam laughed again. “That might as well be forever.” She grew serious. “Adam is a good man. We all know that.”
Joanna did know that. He’d given her space when she needed it. So much space that she feared he’d changed his mind about her. “He’s thinking about moving back to Florida.” She looked at Mandy for confirmation. Caleb had told her that a few weeks ago. “Right?”
“He mentioned that to Caleb, but we’ve speculated it depends on what Becky and Ike do with the business. If they sell it to Jacob—”
“What?” Joanna almost fell off her chair.
Mandy put her hand to her mouth and then said, “Didn’t you know Jacob wants to buy Ike and Becky’s business?”
“He mentioned it a couple of years ago, but I didn’t know he still wanted to.”
Miriam rolled her eyes. “Jah, he’d like to buy it, but Ike and Becky would never sell it to him. Ike told him as much.”
Relieved, Joanna changed the topic to the barn raising, not wanting to talk about Jacob anymore. Surely they would turn it over to Adam in a few years. Ike had announced that morning that they had another remodeling job lined up for October.
After she explained what she needed help with, Joanna headed toward home on her scooter, feeling more carefree than she had since, well, the day in Florida with Adam.
That was the way she wanted to be, instead of worrying all the time.
She knew trusting in Gott, not in herself, was key.
She also knew that she felt more carefree with Adam near because she could share her burdens, and the burdens of others, with him. He was someone she could depend on.
When she reached the house, she sat on the porch with Mammi Lu and pulled out a handful of hollyhock dolls, a little wilted now, from her bag to give to her grandmother. Then she told Mammi Lu what Mandy had said about Becky.
“Jah, Becky didn’t want eleven children, but she would have liked a few more.
She was on birth control for a couple of years after Reuben was born because she didn’t want to have one child after another.
Later, she lost a couple of pregnancies and went to a special clinic.
The doctor said the miscarriages had nothing to do with being on birth control previously.
He recommended a couple of things, but Becky wasn’t able to carry another baby. The doctor said it was no one’s fault.”
Joanna felt sad for Becky not being able to have more children. She was one of the most generous and loving people Joanna knew. Becky’s love for Reuben must have been beyond measure, just as her love for Adam was.
Adam. What if Miriam was right? Her heart began to hammer. What if she and Adam were meant for each other? If only she knew how Adam felt about her now.
Over the next week Joanna thought about Adam more and more.
On Thursday, she began sweeping the first floor of the Pequea Creek house, tackling the massive hearth first. It felt as if she were sweeping her heart, too, with stiff bristles.
Jah, it hurt, but it felt good at the same time.
She thought about Jacob less and less—and Adam more and more.
She wasn’t sure if the latter was a good thing or not.
“Need some help?”