Chapter 9
Kelly
Nora and I are walking side by side toward the inn, the moonlight mocking me, casting a silver glow over the garden’s beauty as if tonight is nothing more than a whimsical stroll. But the thunder in my chest, the damp between my legs, screams otherwise.
“So, what were you doing out here?” Her tone is light, but her gaze sharpens, reading me as she always does, taking in my crumpled dress, the tense expression on my face.
It’s as though I’ve swallowed barbed wire, and the words pour out before I can stop them, tainting the crisp ocean air between us: “I just hooked up with Jake.”
I can’t tear my gaze away from Nora’s widened eyes—twin mirrors reflecting my own disbelief. I’m waiting for her to say something, anything, that can stitch the night back together. But there’s only this confession hanging between us.
“And—oh my God—we didn’t even use a condom.” Reality hits hard, right in the gut, where all my fears love to gnaw at me. They’re having a field day right now, laughing at my reckless stupidity.
“God, I’m such a lightweight.” I wave my hands around as if that’ll help shake off the shame, the drinks swirling in my system making everything a little too bright, a little too loud. “A lightweight with no self-control. Great.”
Nora’s usually animated face goes completely still as she processes my train wreck of a decision. “You’re on the pill, right?”
“Yeah. I mean, yes.” But it’s not just about pregnancy scares—it’s about losing control, giving in to some deep desire I’ve been trying to pretend wasn’t there, tossing caution to the wind when I’m supposed to have it all together. “I’m not here to be a screw up.” The words come out before I can stop them, and they sound jittery and way too loud.
“You’re not a screw up.”
A chilling breeze rolls in off the ocean and I wrap my arms around myself. “What was I thinking? With Jake, of all people.”
The moon is doing its best to put on a comforting glow, as though what just happened is no big deal, like the world isn’t quietly collapsing under my feet. But all I can think of is just how far I’ve strayed off-course. I was supposed to be avoiding him tonight at all costs. Not fucking him against a tree.
I let out a groan. “I just… What’s wrong with me? How could I…” I trail off, squinting up at the moon as if it has all the answers, but all it does is spin around a little too much.
“Kelly, breathe,” Nora says gently.
“Right, breathing.” Sure, oxygen is going to fix this mess. But I take a deep breath anyway, let it out slowly, trying to find some semblance of calm.
I count to nine slowly. Then again. This was meant to be my fresh start. Mom would be frowning that disappointed frown if she could see me right now.
And I can’t afford to feel anything for Jake—not again. Not after everything. In the dim light, I straighten my posture, force a neutral expression onto my face.
“It was just the champagne. That’s all this was. A stupid, drunken mistake.” The words taste bad as they roll off my tongue, but I let them out anyway because they’re the truth—or at least a version of it I can live with.
“Kelly—”
“Let’s not, okay? I’m fine, really. Fine.” But my voice is still a little too high-pitched, and I give her a shaky thumbs-up.
I can’t deal with pity or concern right now, even from Nora. I need to get back to who I was before tonight, focused on why I’m here in Harbor’s Edge, before Jake, with his intense eyes and too-familiar touch, reminded me of things that really should have stayed forgotten.
“Come on,” I say firmly, “let’s get out of here.”
Nora gives me a reluctant look but thankfully drops the subject, and pulls out her phone, opening the Uber app. “I already ordered a ride. I’ve had a little too much to drink. It should be here in a couple of minutes. We can get my car tomorrow.”
We continue walking toward the inn, and there’s a hardness to my jaw, a determination not to let tonight define me. Because at the end of the day, Harbor’s Edge might be a place of second chances, but some things—some people—are just chapters that need to stay closed. And Jake Tanner is one of those.
We reach the inn just as our Uber pulls up, its headlights slicing through the night. The garden’s shadows dance briefly, fleeing the light before darkness claims them again.
We both climb into the back seat, and Nora links her arm through mine. “Seriously though, are you okay?” She gives my arm a playful squeeze, but there’s worry in her gaze.
“I’m fine. I promise. Let’s talk about anything else. The weather, the Dow Jones, the mating habits of fireflies—I don’t care. Just not him.”
She nods, though I can tell she’s not buying it, but she lets it go because she knows me better than anyone. Small talk fills the space between us as we chatter about the wedding, before we lapse into comfortable silence.
As the car hums along the road to our apartment, I lean my head back against the seat and close my eyes, the world spinning a little. Jake’s words from earlier echo in my mind, no matter how hard I’m trying not to think about them.
I can’t let what he said mean anything, as much as my heart—my hopeless, traitorous heart—wants to. Because when we were together, I wasn’t enough. Not enough to make him stay, not enough to fight for. And I’ll be damned if I let myself go through that again.
“Kelly, did you hear me?” Nora nudges my arm.
“Sorry, I got lost in thought. What were you saying?”
“Never mind. You look like you could use some sleep.”
“Sleep sounds good.” But sleeping peacefully tonight is about as likely as forgetting Jake’s hands on me, the way he pushed inside me, filling me, his eyes holding my gaze, making me believe he couldn’t get enough of me.
We pull up to our place, and thank the driver before heading upstairs. I head straight for the bathroom, pausing in the hallway. “I’m just going to have a quick shower.” See if I can scrub the smell of sex and Jake off me.
“See you in the morning,” Nora says, concern still etched on her face.
“Sleep well. See you tomorrow. And I’m fine, I promise.”
“Okay. Love you. Good night.”
“Night. Love you, too.”
I head into the bathroom and hear water running in Nora’s ensuite as she brushes her teeth. For a moment, I stare at my reflection, my makeup smudged and hair a tangled mess. Jake’s touch still lingers on my skin, the heat of it, the taste of him.
My fingers trace the edge of the sink, going around once—twice—until the familiar rhythm soothes the chaotic hum in my mind. I line up my toothbrush, toothpaste, and soap perfectly along the counter, each one evenly spaced.
Then I run the tap twice, watching the water swirl down the drain, steady and predictable. Finally, I turn toward the shower, hoping the hot water will wash away more than just the remnants of the night.
“Try to forget it even happened,” I say to myself.
Tomorrow’s another day, and I’m Kelly Charleston. I’ve got shit to do, and none of it includes falling apart over Jake Tanner.